Read Just a Little Death (Children of the Apocalypse Book 1) Online
Authors: A.L. Kessler
“Lust, if you please.” At Lucile’s command Lust turned away from me and then came back around. I barely registered the gleam of a knife before he plunged it into my stomach, embedding the tip into the table under me.
I cried out and my body jerked. Blood flowed out of the wound, making the table slick and sticky. The red liquid coated my side as it poured down from the entrance wound. Tears formed at the corners of my eyes at the added pain. Lust gave me a twisted smile before he turned the blade and pulled it out.
Breathing only increased the pain and my body shook. Death’s chair bounced off the floor when he shot up and to me. “Sammy.” He pulled off his shirt and shoved it against the wound. I clenched my fists at the pressure.
Lucile chuckled. “She won’t die from that one, not until she starts to lose too much blood. You can stop this, Death. You just have to walk into your seal.”
“We’re talking about people infected with the plague walking around when they should be dead. People who should be taken from their suffering doomed to live with it and the symptoms of what ails them. My job is to keep the balance.”
Lucile stood. “You’d risk your daughter’s life to save the Earth? Humans who curse your name?”
The room around me blurred, and breathing felt like I was pulling water instead of air. Death stroked my cheek. “The life of one does not outweigh the life of many.”
I knew that, I knew what was at risk and I knew what it meant. I would die because he wouldn’t save me and screw up the Earth’s balance.
“Lust.” Lucile moved next to my father.
Lust traced the blade up my leg, the tip leaving just a small sting of pain. It danced over the bump of my hips and over my blood covered stomach. He stopped at my heart. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain to come.
“No.” Death snarled and I opened my eyes in time for him to grab Lust’s hand. Lust shoved down and the blade sliced through my skin, hitting a rib before my father ripped it out of Lust’s hand.
He threw the weapon to the floor and cupped his hands on my face. “Hang in there, Sammy. You won’t die. The moment I step into that seal, death disappears. You can recover. I won’t let you sacrifice your life.”
My blurry vision kept me from focusing on his face. “You can’t. I…I… need your help.”
“So you’ve made your choice.” Lucile stroked my cheek, tapping claws down my skin. “You’re right, her body will be able to heal since Death can’t claim her. She’ll live because of your choice.” She dipped claws into my blood and then drew symbols on the wall. Red and black swirled and opened into a black hole. Death kissed my head. “You are my daughter. I will always love you. I’ll see you when you and the others break the seals.”
He stepped in and the hole closed with a snap and the swirling colors disappeared. I tried to reach out, but cursed when the chains kept me in place. My eyes fluttered shut, taking me into a darkness I couldn’t fight.
“Sammy.” Ruthie’s high-pitched voice forced me to open my eyes. “Pete, I need you now.” Her voice came from my left; I turned my head to see her running towards me. The bottom half of her face was covered by a medical mask, but even from my spot on the ground I could see tears in her eyes.
I tried to sit up, but cried out as pain caused my muscles to cease and give out. I dropped back down the inch I’d managed to gain. I should be dead, or at the very least still unconscious. Flashes of a seal and a bloody blade flashed in my mind. My head pounded against my skull and I put a hand against it trying to calm the pain down. Lifting my arm hurt, but it was at least doable.
Ruthie fell to her knees next to me and put an arm under my back to help lift me up. “Sammy, holy shit, you’re alive.” She hugged me to her and I cringed.
“Lot of pain.” I swallowed, trying to wet my dry throat. “So much pain. I can’t remember exactly what happened.”
Pete skidded to a halt next to me and he pushed my hair away from my face. “We need to get you stitched up and taken care of. I don’t know what happened, but you can fill us in when you’re not bleeding.”
I looked down to see the blood still covering my body and torn clothes. “I met Lust at a party.” I muttered. “Ass took me to hell.”
Ruthie put a finger to my lips. “We’re going to Aeron’s house now. The dorms are closed until at least after spring break. They are trying to keep classes going despite everything.”
Spring break? I frown as I tried to place a time line together in my head. “There’s no way I was gone for that long.”
“You disappeared right after Thanksgiving.” Pete moved the scraps of my shirt. “You look like hell.”
I snorted. “Hell has stone walls and is terrifying. I don’t know how I survived that long without food or water.” I tried to stand. A shock of pain went through me, almost throwing me to the ground, but it passed.
“Hell is different. You don’t need sustenance like that.” Pete pulled my arm over his shoulder and Ruthie did the same on my other side. “Are you sure you were in hell?”
I closed my eyes as images of Lust and Lucile standing over me hit me. “Yes. I need pain killers and some water.”
“We’ll get you taken care of.” Ruthie promised. “I’m so sorry, this never should have happened on my watch. I’ll make sure to let your dad know that you’re home. He’s been worried about you.”
My dad. The seal. My legs crumpled underneath me as pain and grief tore through me, taking all my strength. I sobbed at the emotions that threatened to tear me apart from the inside out. I couldn’t breathe through the lump in my throat and the tears. The short little breaths I managed only added to the panic. Ruthie tried to help me up and I pushed her away.
“Need space.” I gasped and cried out as my motions pulled on the wounds. My muscles twitched out of control.
Pete knelt in front of me and grabbed my face. “Focus on me.”
I tried to focus on the command in his voice, but the world spun around me and my breathing became even shorter.
“Name one thing you can feel.”
I closed my eyes. His hands felt different on me than Lust’s did. Less demanding, less bruising. “Your hands are cold.”
“Something you can hear.”
My breathing slowed down just a bit. Birds tweeted in the distance over the low sound of an engine humming. “A car.”
“Good, now open your eyes.”
My eyes fluttered open and I met his gaze.
“Take a deep breath with me.” He took one and then another.
My lungs burned as I forced them to take in a large amount of air. I let it out and though the pain was still there, the panic eased back. I took another breath without breaking his gaze.
“Good job. Panic attacks suck, but you can work through this. Come on.” He helped me up and went back to helping support me. Ruthie took my hand and squeezed. The more steps I took, the more solid the ground felt.
Pete led me to his car. Ruthie rushed forward and flung the door open. I moved away from Pete and eased myself into the front seat. The cold leather was a welcome comfort after the hard table I’d been on. “I hope I don’t ruin it with blood.”
“Don’t worry, I have all kinds of tricks to get blood out.”
I wasn’t sure that I wanted to know why. He shut the door and rounded the front of the car to get into the driver’s side. Ruthie got in behind me and gently shut her door.
I reached for the radio and groaned. Pete touched my hand. “What do you need?”
“I want to listen to the news.”
“No.” Ruthie said. “You don’t need to worry about what is going on in the world. You need to focus on resting and healing the damage that’s been done to you.”
I touched my stomach and my side and looked at the blood that stuck to my fingers. “Hopefully it doesn’t take long to heal.”
“It’s not just the physical damage.” Pete pulled the car onto the road. “But the mental. That panic attack was unusual for you.”
I closed my eyes. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“When you’re clear on what happened, we need to talk. I think that will help.” Ruthie stroked my hair. Her fingers caught the uneven edge.
I glanced at her. “Lucile cut a chunk off.” I closed my eyes. “Again, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Let her rest.” Pete said.
“Okay.” Ruthie pulled away from me and my tension went down a notch. I kept my eyes closed and paid attention to the smooth movements of the car.
Spring Showers
The car rolled to a stop and I opened my eyes. Ruthie and Pete had remained silent for the whole ride and I assumed it was their own way of giving me space. I opened the door and stepped out of the car. Aeron and Kaleb came running out of the house, down the steps, coming to a halt in front of me. Aeron took my elbow to help steady me up the steps.
“She needs some major patching up. Aeron, get her on the couch. Kaleb, get her some water and some food. Now.” Pete slammed his car door shut.
With help, I wobbled my way into the living room and Aeron helped me lay down on the couch.
“No, no, stop.” I put an arm out before I could lay flat. “You can patch me up sitting up.”
Aeron’s gaze went to my shredded shirt. “No, I can’t, you need to lay down.”
“No, I can’t. Please.” I shook my head. “I just…I’m not okay with that.”
Ruthie came over and sat down where my head would have been. She pulled a pillow on to her lap. “Please, it’ll be easier for him to work if you’re laying down.”
I bit my lip and tried to push the panic away. There were no chains, no cuffs, but my breathing hitched and my heart sped up. Sweat ran over my palms and I wiped them nervously on my blood stained pants. Aeron grabbed one of my hands.
“You are safe here. We won’t let you get hurt.” He squeezed my hand. “We take care of our own.”
I bobbed my head and lay down. Ruthie ran her hand through my hair with a calming motion. I met her gaze and sighed. “I screwed up, so much.”
“We all make mistakes.” She touched my forehead. “And we learn from them and move on.”
Not like this though. My stomach churned and I closed my eyes. “The party, the reason you couldn’t find me is because Lust was blocking you. I had no idea that he was a Sin, I ignored any of the signs I saw and I screwed up.” I clenched my fist.
Aeron walked away from the couch, disappearing from my sight, but Kaleb appeared with water. I sat up a bit to take a drink and then lay back down in Ruthie’s lap. “I’m only getting glimpses of what happened. Something extremely screwed up happened and I can’t pull out the details.”
“They will come.” She promised.
Aeron reappeared. “It looks like they were trying to kill you, but you’ve got a lot of small damage too.”
Pete looked over the back of the couch. “Blood loss alone should have set in and killed you after the first wound. Unless it was done right before we found you. That second one is deep enough that the blade must have hit your bone.”
“I’m lucky to be alive.” I muttered. “I get it. Start patching them up so they can heal right.”
Ruthie grabbed my hand as Aeron started stitching together my open wounds. The pain was nothing compared to what caused them. He took his time, making sure each stitch was tight enough and that all the blood was cleaned up as it leaked out. He pulled away when he was done. “Luckily the ones on your face are healing already. There might be a faint scar, but that’s better than losing an eye.”
I hadn’t thought about that when Lucile had swiped me across my face. I touched a hand to my face and sighed. “So where are we now? Have we found the seals?”
“No, we’ve tried a few more places, but nothing promising. No leads like the one that the Hag offered.” Ruthie let go of the hand she was holding and I slowly sat up and shifted so I could lean against the back of the couch.
“I want to go see my dad.” A weight sat in my stomach at the words. “After that we need to keep moving forward.”
Pete came around the couch holding a plate with a sandwich. “We’re going to start slowly, I’m sure you’re starving.”
“Where’d Kaleb run off to?” I set the plate on my lap and tore a small piece off the peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
“He said he needed to go check on the numbers for famine. Something about it was going to get worse as the rain started coming in.” Pete sat down on my other side. “Eat up. We’ll watch some television. Tonight we’ll go see your dad, but I think you need to take a couple days off. You’ve been gone for a while.”
I didn’t want to take a day off. I wanted to get lost in everyone else’s problems and forget about the fact that I had disappeared for a few months. In hell. I literally spent a few months in hell. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself. “If I have to.”
“About time you agreed.” Ruthie leaned her head on my shoulder. “We’re just worried about you.”
I appreciated it, but I couldn’t muster any emotion if I tried. “Thank you. How did you find me?”
“I knew the moment you appeared back in this realm. I’m your guardian angel, it’s my job to know when you come back and disappear.” She snorted. “Seems I failed though.”
I shook my head. “No, I made the bad choices, not you. I should have known that he was Lust and I should have known something was up when Aeron kept saying you couldn’t see me when I was in plain sight. I was just…”
“You were grieving and wanted to get lost for a little while. Though you should have stopped after the third drink.” Aeron joked and packed things away into the first aid kit. “We’ve all had moments of weakness. Just because of what we are, it doesn’t mean we resist temptation all the time.”
I gave a forced half smile. “I guess.”
Pete flipped on the television and an emergency news broadcast covered the sitcom that should have been on.
“In today’s news, a new epidemic is spreading through our country.” The news anchor looked up from her papers.
We all sat on the edge of the seat. “It seems that people are no longer dying from the plague, the problem being that they are not recovering either. Doctors report that flesh and limbs are still being affected while the person remains conscious and aware far past the point that death should have happened.”
Ruthie and Pete looked at me. Aeron didn’t move his gaze from the television. I shook my head. “It’s not possible.”
My breathing sped up and I closed my eyes. I went to the only place I knew my dad would be if he was still free. I opened my eyes and found myself in the empty field. I turned and ran towards the house. My feet pounded against the dirt as I moved through the dying plants. Pain seared my wounds with each deep breath that I took. I came to the cabin and threw open the door. I wrapped a hand around my stomach as the pain increased.
A tea set sat on the table, waiting, but there was no sign of him anywhere in the room. I closed my eyes and remembered him in flashes. The room, the knife being driven into me. The pain in his voice as he shouted at Lust. The swirl of the seal as he walked into it.
I crumpled to my knees as tears poured down my face. A sob bubbled up in my throat. I screamed as rage flowed through me. I summoned my scythe and got to my feet. I walked out the door to see Ruthie standing there. Pity shone in her eyes and I tightened my grip on my scythe.
“I’m going to get him out.” I snarled. “There’s no way I’m letting them keep him.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “You need to tell me what happened in hell.”
“Lucile tortured and threatened to kill me in order to trick Death into being sealed away.” My knees wobbled, but I used my scythe to keep me standing upright. “I’m going to go back in there and find him.”
Ruthie shook her head. “You can’t go to hell and you can’t release a seal without being a horseman or an archangel. Do you know where the seal is?”
I nodded. “It’s in the same chamber that I was in. Mom said that hell takes you to what you fear most.”
“Meaning what?” Ruthie dropped her arms. “You can’t just go rushing in there with a sacrifice and plan on pulling Death back out.”
I needed a plan. Something that could be done easily. “He feared losing me the most. That’s why he sacrificed his freedom.”
“He’s reliving that in hell, that’s why the seal is in that room.” Ruthie suddenly realized. “What about Pestilence or Famine? War?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. I didn’t leave that chamber while I was there.” I closed my eyes. “Everything was just illusions or nightmares.”
“We’ll figure it out. I’m going to have to talk to the archangels and see what we can do.” She held her hand out. “But I’m not leaving your side until I know you’re ready to go back out and fight demons.”
I let my scythe disappear and took her hand. “I’ll be ready as soon as I heal. Lucile doesn’t know what is coming. Somehow, some way, I will figure out how to kill her.”
“You can’t kill the Devil, Sammy.”
I gave a dark laugh. “Watch me.”
Ruthie took us back to the human realm where the guys were all gathered on the couch watching us.
“He’s locked away. Sammy was able to remember it, he traded his life for hers.” Ruthie helped me to a chair. “So now we’re on our own. Once Sammy is healed, I’ll go talk to the archangels about getting someone who can undo the seals. But we’re talking about risking a heaven and hell war if we take an archangel in there.”
“But we’re talking about the end of the modern world if we don’t.” Pete said. “We’re talking about the apocalypse and not having any humans to save or protect soon.”
“Of course there will be, because Death no longer exists here.” I looked up at the muted newscast. “So not only are we all starving, but we’re all going to suffer because there is no release. Eventually we’ll be one war-ridden, starved, plague infected world.”
Kaleb leaned back on the couch. “What does Lucile get out of this?”
“A world full of evil and chaos.” Aeron stood and paced the room. “Why live by morals if there is no death? Why worry about killing and looting when there is no fear of an afterlife consequence?”
I licked my lips. “Temptation is everywhere, there’s nothing to keep people in line, in balance. She’ll thrive off all that power.”
“Evil will become stronger than good.” Ruthie sighed. “So what do we do from here?”
I ran a hand over my jeans. “I want clean clothes, and a shower, or at least a wet rag. Then we continue to at least try and locate what gateways the seals are near. That way we have something to give to the archangels when you convince them to help.”
“I have to convince Michael.” She cringed. “It’s harder than it sounds and it might take a while.”
I smiled. “You can trust me with the boys, they’ll take good care of me.”
“Mm, they better.” She shook her head. “Okay, first order of business is to get Sammy cleaned up and back to a functioning Child of the Apocalypse. Then we start looking again. The college is closed until after spring break. We have another week to check out some of the places that may be a gateway and figure out if a seal is there.”
“I’m functioning.” I glared at her.
She gave my cheek a gentle pat. “When you can stand without leaning on your scythe we’ll consider you functional.”
“You did say you’d take a couple days off.” Pete picked at the sofa arm. “We can do research so you don’t feel like you’re just sitting around.”
I nodded. “Okay, fine. I’ll go with that. Kaleb, you went to check on the famine situation, what did you find?”
He pushed his glasses up with one finger. “We’re expecting floods, which is only going to make things worse. Food prices have tripled again since you’ve disappeared. They are rationing foods as well. Soon there won’t be much to ration.”
And then the fights would start breaking out more. “Aeron?”
“No true wars have broken out yet, but we’re on the edge of it. Texas backed off, but they completely closed their borders to travelers, as have several other states. Russia is threatening to invade because they think we have a cure, but we all know that neither country has able bodied men to fight.”
“Until they realize that there is no such thing as a fatal wound for the time being.” I leaned my head back. “Other than that, the world is still okay?”
“Nothing has taken out modern technology and people are still going about their normal lives. There’s a lot of talk about how this is all a conspiracy and how the government will claim to save us when they had control all along.” Pete shook his head. “They think that people who come down with the plague are being transported to some secret camps and will be found to be free of the disease.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Humans are weird. Everything scary comes down to a conspiracy.”
“Or terrorism. Which is what the news is claiming.” Pete laughed. “Little do they all know.”
I shifted in the chair. “What happened to my sandwich?”
Kaleb passed my plate over. “Try not to waste food, that shit is expensive right now.”
I munched on my sandwich while my mind churned over all the events that had happened and that I could remember. Lucile had something else coming. I’d be freeing Death and taking revenge for my mother. The trickster demon would die by my scythe. I tightened my grip on the plate and took a deep breath. I’d heal faster now that I was out of hell and the wounds were properly taken care of.
My father’s eyes flashed in my mind. The sorrow and tears they carried when he realized I had been tortured until he’d shown up. I drew in a shaky breath. Now he was living his own hell and I was sitting here weaker than a kitten.