Just Another Girl (19 page)

She nods and wipes her nose on an old tissue that she's fished from a pocket. “I know . . . I know . .

“But here's the thing. I am not her mother. But I think in her heart she thinks that I am. I'll graduate next year. I plan to go to college.” I don't mention how I'll pay tuition. “And if you don't figure out how to deal with Lily before I go—”

“I'm willing to learn,” she says quietly. I can't help but think I've beaten her down. “I'm just not sure it's possible.”

“Well, I'll admit that I might be doing some things wrong. You could be right, maybe I am treating her like a baby. Even Kellie says I do too much for Lily.”

Mom nods. “You do.”

“But sometimes it's just easier. I mean, do you know how hard it is to get her ready for school sometimes? And I still have to get myself ready. Some mornings I feel like I've been to war and back before I even sit down in my first class.”

“I'm sorry.” She looks truly sorry too. “But you do so well in school, Aster. Your grades are excellent, and you take those hard precollege classes.”

“You know why I can do all that?”

“Because you're smart?”

I kind of laugh. “Smart? Or maybe I'm dumb. But it's because I don't have a life, Mom. It's because I'm always stuck at home with Lily. Naturally, I have time for homework.”

“But you are smart, Aster.”

“I don't know . . .”

“And you're right to confront me on this.” Mom sniffs and sits up straighter. “To be honest, I'm surprised you haven't said something sooner. I think I've sort of felt like I was living on borrowed time. I'm sorry.”

“But things are going to change?”

She nods. “Yes. And you're right, I am Lily's mother. I need to start acting like it.”

“But Lily has another parent,” I say quietly.

Mom's eyes flash. “Ha! That's what you think.”

Okay, I'm trying to decide here. I've made such headway with Mom tonight, do I dare tell her about visiting Dad? Do I dare not to tell her? “You know what, Mom? I think you're doing the same thing with Dad that I do with Lily.”

“What?” Her anger is now tinged with curiosity.

“You let him get away with stuff.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I went to visit him last week.” I brace myself.

Her eyes narrow. “You went to see your father?”

I nod. “And I took Lily with me.”

She looks stunned now. “Why did you do that?”

“Because I needed to find out what was going on. I needed to find out why he's not paying child support.”

“And?”

“And he told me about being Mr. Mom and not paying child support in exchange for not having visiting rights. It's like he has no responsibilities at all, Mom, like he's this great big overgrown baby.”

Mom almost smiles but instead lets out a deep sigh, shaking her head in a hopeless way.

“Seriously. He's playing Mr. Mom and doing whatever Jana tells him to do. And he's completely let down Rose, Lily, and me, but he acts like he can't help it because he has to stay home and play with Nelson and keep his perfect little house in order. Honestly, it makes me sick. And he was actually complaining that his life is hard. I'd love to give him a couple days with Lily in exchange for Nelson. Then he'd know what hard is.”

“So what do you suggest, Aster?”

Now I smile and suppress the urge to rub my hands together. “I think it's about time he got his visitation rights back. I mean, seriously, Mom, you're doing him a favor by letting him off the hook when it comes to spending time with Lily. And she needs a daddy. Really, she does. It would be good for both of them.”

“And it would give you a break.”

I shrug like that hadn't occurred to me.

“But it would also give Lily a break from you.”

I frown.

“She needs a break from you too, Aster. It will help her to learn to do more for herself. And you can be certain your father won't cater to her like you do.” Mom really seems to be considering this scenario now. “But if Lily really wants to spend time with him, she might try to do more for herself.”

“And she loves Nelson. She's really pretty good with him, Mom. And she acts kind of older, like she's the big sister for a change.”

Mom actually does smile now. “Aster, I think you've come up with a good solution.”

“But will Dad go for it?”

“Maybe he won't have a choice.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning he's not paying child support and I'm not pressing charges. But I could if he refuses to allow Lily to visit him.”

I nod. This is exactly the way I'd hoped this would go. And
I had been prepared to push for this very thing myself, but it seems I don't need to now.

“Maybe this will all work out for the best, Aster. For all of us.”

“I hope so.”

Then to my surprise, Mom hugs me. I can't even remember the last time she hugged me.

17

Monday evening, after I've finally gotten Lily to bed without any magic—meaning she threw a tantrum when I tried to get her to do a few things for herself—Mom comes home and tells me that she's written my dad a letter.

“A letter?”

She nods as she sets down her purse. “It seemed the best way. I really don't think I can have a civilized conversation with that man. I made a copy of the letter for my records and sent it registered mail.”

“Wow.”

“Yes. I want to make sure he gets it.”

“So what did you say?”

“I told him that I expect him to take some parental responsibility for his daughters. I told him that if he cannot pay child support, the least he can do is to allow visitation. And if he can't do that, I may speak to an attorney.”

“Good for you, Mom.” I reach up to give her a high five, and she returns it.

“I also told him that you would be managing the visitations
with Lily. I hope you don't mind. But that way you can have some control over when she'll visit, and maybe you can plan things on those days for yourself.”

“Cool.”

“I also spoke to someone in social services about additional supervised care for Lily—at home. They're sending me some papers to fill out.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“And I'm making arrangements at work to be there less.” She sighs. “It won't make any difference financially since I'm on salary.”

Even so, I can tell she's not thrilled about this. I'm sure being at work sounds better than wrestling Lily to bed. “I tried to get Lily to do more for herself tonight,” I say. “I'm really going to work with her. I think we'll make a chart with rewards. Lily loves rewards. Kellie has suggested this before, but it sounded like a lot of work.”

“Maybe at first . . . but it might make life easier for everyone down the line.” Mom smiles at me. “Let me know what I can do to help. Do you want me to look for some rewards?”

“Sure, that'd be great. I can easily make a chart on my computer.”

“Good.” Mom starts going through the mail. “Rose isn't home from work yet?”

“No . . .”

Mom looks at me with a curious expression. “Is there something I should know, Aster?”

“About?”

“Rose.”

“You might want to give her a call.”

There's no way I'm telling Mom that Rose picked up some of her things this afternoon, or that she's staying at Jared's house— actually, his parents' house, but they're on vacation for two weeks. Rose said that she and Jared are apartment shopping.

Mom just nods and continues to peruse the mail.

By Wednesday, Mom is fully aware that Rose has moved out with Jared. I'm surprised at how she seems to take this in stride. Or maybe she's just too tired to put up any kind of protest. Lily, on the other hand, doesn't really know what's up. For the time being, I think it's for the best, since Lily has enough to deal with right now. I've been trying to show Mom what our nightly routine is supposed to be and how Lily's chart works. But Lily has no tolerance for change and sometimes treats Mom like an intruder. She's making it especially difficult tonight, and I can tell that Mom is tired. But I have to give it to our mother, she's hanging in there. Then, just as Lily is getting out of the tub, my cell phone rings. To my surprise, Mom tells me to go ahead and take it.

I hurry to my room—my own room—and discover that it's Owen on the other end. I'm not sure how to react. I've been kind of relieved that he hasn't called. And yet I feel my heart racing just to hear his voice. Why is that?

“Hey, Aster,” he says. “How's it going?”

“Okay.”

“I've missed you.”

“Oh . . .”

“You're not still mad at me, are you?”

“Now, remind me . . . why was I mad at you?” Okay, I know I'm acting coy, but this is the first actual conversation we've had since he let me down Saturday night.

“You mean you
weren't
mad?” He sounds hopeful.

“You know, Owen, I think I was mostly hurt. You told me that we'd go if I was uncomfortable. And I trusted you. But then when I wanted to leave, you didn't keep your word.”

“I'm really sorry, Aster. I was having a nice little chat with Miles the birthday boy, and the next thing I knew you were standing there saying we had to leave.”

Suddenly I feel like I'm the one who should be apologizing. But I don't.

“Anyway, are you going to give me another chance?”

“I don't know . . .” And the truth is, I
don't
know. I mean, I've been actually thinking about George lately, even wishing he'd call. And yet I know that if I placed George and Owen side by side, Owen is the one who would probably make my heart go thumpity-thump. Still, George is a great guy. Why am I so confused?

“I realize I was a jerk at the party,” Owen admits. “And I shouldn't have been drinking either. The truth is, I had pretty much given that up. That's why I was looking for
someone like you, Aster. The kind of girl with substance, you know?”

“I know that I wasn't enjoying that party—the whole thing seemed pretty childish,” I say.

“Exactly. That's why I like you. You're more mature than most girls. Anyway, I want to make it up to you. Won't you give me one last chance? There's a new movie playing, one that I think you'll really like. And we could do Greek again, if you want. Let me make last weekend up to you, okay?”

“When were you thinking?”

“How about tomorrow?”

There's a chance that Mom won't be working late tomorrow. Plus there's always my dad. I doubt that he's too busy on a Thursday evening. Besides, it's about time I make a follow-up call to Mom's letter. “Tomorrow works.”

Owen says he'll pick me up around six, and I agree. I can hear Lily screaming in the hallway, so I say I have to go.

“What is wrong?” I demand as I go out to find Lily sitting on the floor with only her pajama bottoms on.

“
Mom
!” Lily shouts. “She mean, mean, mean.”

“It sounds more like you're being mean, Lily.”

“I not mean. I mad!”

I nod. “Well, mad or mean, you are not acting like a princess tonight.”

“That's right,” Mom says. “And I had a prize for a princess who got ready for bed on time.”

“And it's a nice prize too,” I add. Mom already showed me
some of the trinkets she picked up at Walgreens yesterday. We're going with a princess theme on Lily's performance chart. Mom and I also agreed on some basic rules that we adapted from a list Kellie printed out for me. Things like we won't let Lily divide us. We'll be consistent with rules, consequences, and treats. We won't cave when Lily throws a tantrum. We'll remain calm and mature with Lily. We'll make sure we're giving Lily enough time to do what she needs. And our goal will be her success—meaning a happier, more capable Lily. Of course, it's going to take time and a lot of hard work, but at least Mom and I are traveling down the same road together now.

“Remember, Lily,” Mom warns her, “if you're not in your pajamas and in bed by nine, there will be no story.”

Lily balls her fists and pouts.

“And no prize either,” I add.

Then Mom and I go into the kitchen to wait and see if she complies. At this point I think we have about a fifty-fifty chance.

“That was Owen,” I tell Mom. “He asked me out tomorrow.”

Mom frowns. “I have to work late tomorrow. We're getting ready for a big sale.”

“That's okay,” I say. “I think it's time to call Dad.”

Mom nods. “Good idea.”

“The only problem will be how to get Lily over there.”

“I suppose you could use my car.”

We work out a plan for me to ride my bike to O'Leary's, pick up Mom's car, take Lily to Dad's, then return the car and ride my bike home. Okay, it's a lot of work, but it also buys me free time. Glorious free time.