Authors: Kerry Heavens
I can't believe this is him...I can't believe this is me! This is what I meant by experiencing things a bit more, I just never imagined it being quite so spectacular…or with Danny. I manage to regain enough of my senses to put my arms around his neck, pulling him forward until our foreheads are touching. He has my legs in his arms and my back is pressed firmly against the wall. His thrusts are hard and constant, forcing involuntary moans out of me with each stroke and in no time at all, I find myself building again.
I can't really tell if it's truly another climax or whether I'm still experiencing an extended version of the last one. It's unbelievable. I literally scream, into Danny's neck as my body crashes into my second earthmoving climax. Danny follows and lets out a long loud moan, which forms into the words "I love you Liv.”
" I. Love. You. Too." I pant. "So. Much." Then I kiss him while he continues to hold me up. Gradually, we begin to get our breath back and he lets my legs down slowly, sliding out of me as I take my own weight once again.
Returning to planet earth, I laugh, giddy from the change of pace.
"My God!" I exclaim, still breathless. "That was incredible.”
“Hmmm.” he says, nuzzling into my neck, pushing me back against the wall. “You’re incredible.” He kisses the spot where his face rests against me. Rousing himself, he pushes away from me and tugs the condom off, then pecks me on the lips before disappearing into the bathroom, leaving the door open. I suddenly get a flush of self-consciousness, realising that I am leaning against the wall, naked from the waist down. I quickly whip my top and bra off and rummage around in the case for something to wear. Danny’s Guns ’n’ Roses t-shirt slides over my head as he emerges from the bathroom.
“I think I’ve lost that shirt haven’t I?” he smiles warmly.
I just shrug in response.
“It never looked this good on me anyway.” He crosses over to me and slides his hand underneath the hem, raising his eyebrows in appreciation when he finds that I don’t have any underwear on.
“I was thinking of running a bath,” I tell him. "Do you want to join me?"
"Sure. But let me do it, you just relax."
As I sit down on the edge of the bed, he empties his pockets onto the bedside table. Then, he sits to unlace his shoes...we were in such a hurry, he was still completely dressed. As he folds his clothes and puts them on the chair, I notice the screen of his phone is alight. I'm just about to point this out when it goes dark again.
"I think you have a message."
Danny frowns and heads to the bedside table. I watch as he activates the screen and a troubled look creeps across his face. He taps his way around the menus for a moment, shaking his head.
“Problem?" I ask wearily, feeling uneasy.
He opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. As if he doesn’t know how to tell me what it is.
“What?”
“Err...” he pauses. “It’s Brooke.”
“Brooke?” I ask innocently. I know who she is; I just don’t want him to think I have given her a single thought.
“The girl who commented on the photo tonight.”
“What’s up?”.
“Well, I’m not sure. She seems mad.” He’s still looking at the phone and seems bemused.
“About what?”
“I can’t tell…she’s called me a couple of times.” Then he looks up at me in mild horror. “She’s calling me again!”
“You’d better answer it then. I’ll run the bath.” I say, hopping up and fleeing to the bathroom with my insecurities in tow.
I leave the bathroom door ajar, not in an attempt to eavesdrop, but I feel if I close it, it’s making too much of the situation. I can hear him answering the call.
“Hey Brooke, what’s up?”…“Yeah, Bruges.”… “No, it’s in Brussels”…“No I wasn’t in LA I was in London.”…“Yeah”… “Taking a vacation.”… “What’s with all the questions?”… “Well I haven’t talked to you in weeks.”…
He’s beginning to sound agitated, then I realise, I’m listening and not running the bath. I quickly flush the toilet to make it seem like that’s what I was doing and turn on the taps. The bathroom is filled with the sound of the cascading water and all background noise is cut out. I don’t think I would hear him if he called me. God this is infuriating. I want to know what’s going on. I know it’s nothing bad, but the untrusting side of me would rather hear things first hand, than rely on his version of it later. Even as I think that, I know it’s ridiculous. No matter what, I can trust Danny. I know I can.
I busy myself adjusting the temperature and adding some of the complementary bubble bath, which is a nice one in a large glass bottle. Then I set about laying out the bath mat, getting towels, organising what little we have brought with us in terms of toiletries. Then, when there is nothing else to do, I peer back into the bedroom. Danny is pacing the floor looking angry, but I still can’t hear what he is saying. I’m in an awkward position now. I can either sit in here, hiding, with blatantly nothing to do, until he finishes or, I can go back out there, as if it’s no skin off my nose who he’s talking to. I decide to test the water.
I breeze back into the room, throwing him a casual smile and go straight for the bag. I determinedly pull out fresh underwear and finding my make-up remover and moisturiser. I look up at Danny, who hasn’t said much since I entered the room. He smiles at me apologetically and I mouth “sorry” at him before heading back to the sanctuary of the bathroom.
As I disappear, I hear him saying, “Well I’m sorry you feel that way.” Then all sound is lost in the roar of the running bath. My mind is racing. What can they be saying? I take off my make-up, turn off the taps in the bath, then as I sink into the water, I hear him wrapping up the conversation.
“Not for a while, no.”…“No!”… “Look, I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is.”… “I’ll talk to you soon.”… “Goodbye.” Then he’s silent. A minute or two passes and then the bathroom door opens slightly.
“Can I come in?” he asks softly. His tone is completely different with me.
“Of course. Everything okay?”
Danny comes in and perches on the edge of the bath, still wearing only his boxers, he sighs heavily at my question.
“Fine, sorry about that.” In a daze, he stirs the water with his fingers. Then he snaps out of it and asks, “Can I get in?”
“I was hoping you would.”
He slips off his boxers and settles into the hot water at the other end of the bath, his feet slide under my legs and rest either side of me and he takes my right foot in his hands and strokes it. He’s in another world. I watch him for what seems like an eternity, but it gets the better of me. I withdraw my foot and sit forward, engaging his eye contact. “Okay, what’s happened?”
He smirks, realising then that he has been on another planet.
“Sorry, I owe you an explanation.” He rests his arms along the rim of the huge bath and sighs again. I sit back, mirroring him and wait.
“That was Brooke, obviously. She was all worked up because after she saw the photos on Facebook, she noticed that I was overseas. Then she was at the mall and ran into some friends who told her I had gone off chasing some girl in England.” I wait. ‘Some girl’ rings in my ears, this can’t be as bad as it sounds. But he says nothing else.
Eventually, I have to ask, “Why was that a problem?”
He rubs warm water on his face and hair.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he says, exasperated. “She’s jealous.”
“But I thought you hadn’t heard from her in months. She can’t care that much.”
“I know, I guess she’s just not used to me being unavailable.” He winces saying this and pauses, waiting for my reaction, I think. I give nothing away. My mind is racing, but I can’t make sense of what he’s saying. I look puzzled, so he continues. “When I don’t hear from her for a while, it usually means she’s dating someone.”
“So this has been happening for a while?” This is none of my business and isn’t actually a problem. It just seemed like it was a short-lived thing when it came up before, now it sounds like more.
Danny nods, almost regretfully.
“A couple of years on and off. But it was mutual. I wasn’t really looking for a relationship and she likes to come and go. But we never overlapped, if she met someone, she would stop calling. There was never a promise of more, it was always temporary.” He inhales deeply.
“But it must have meant more to her, or she wouldn’t be angry now,” I suggest, trying to sound impartial.
Danny shakes his head. “I don’t think so, I just think she’s used to being able to call me and I’m there, so she was mad that I wasn’t around and now she is madder still that I am involved with someone. She likes to get her way.” Thinking for a moment, he pauses. “She has a temper, I guess…She isn’t really the sort of person I would hang around with, she’s just a friend of friends…it was just physical and I’m not proud of it.”
God, what do I say to that? It’s not for me to judge. I’m a bit gutted that he didn’t tell me about this in the beginning. Then when it came up tonight, he made it seem like it was less significant than it was. But he’s told her straight and he’s being upfront with me about it now. It’s not really an issue, I suppose.
“So what now?”
“Nothing, she needs to get used to the fact that I am not available. That’s it. I’m with you now.” He smiles at me fondly and strokes my leg.
And it’s over, just like that. I’m relieved that it’s not a big deal, but I’m uncertain whether or not it should have been. In the end, the beer wins and I let it go. Danny sits up abruptly and beckons with a subtle tilt of his head that he wants me to do the same. Sitting up straight, we are much closer to one another and he reaches forward and pulls me to him, sliding me along until my legs are wrapped behind him and we’re pressing up against each other. I close my eyes as we kiss.
Sixteen.
Liv.
War path.
After the first two whirlwind weeks, things have settled down. Danny took some freelance work from Charlie to keep busy and we’ve got into a routine. Grace’s baby is due in two weeks; so she could have it any day now. Danny plans to go ahead to LA next weekend and spend some time with his parents before Connie and I arrive, then, as planned, he’ll come back here, to stay. Tomorrow, it’s one month since he came to find me and, to celebrate, I’m cooking us dinner.
I’ve left him in his little computer world, sat at what used to be my dining table, pouring over two screens. I don’t get it, how can you use two screens to perform one task? Whatever it is he’s doing, he does it for hours at a time and sometimes I miss him. I liked it in the beginning when he was around all the time, but that’s not realistic in the long term. I feel less guilty about working now at least and he’s always there when I finish.
I stroll through the farmers’ market, picking up vegetables for our dinner tomorrow. I’m making him something that he hasn’t had in years, a good old English roast. Rib of beef, Yorkshire puddings, the lot! He mentioned it a couple of weeks ago, so I’m going to make it for our one-month anniversary. I pop into the butchers to pick up the joint I ordered and head back.
Danny isn’t at his desk when I get home, so I stow the food away and pop downstairs. No one has seen him. I pull out my phone to text him.
‘Where have you gone? X’
While I wait for a response, I go and look for Max. Nobody knows where he is either. Those two have been thick as thieves lately; I only went out for an hour, who knows what they could get up to in that time. Shrugging, I head for the diner, I’ll do some work until they turn up. We’re seeing Max and Charlie tonight in the bar, so I should get some stuff done now.
As I decant the latest syrup batch into bottles, I hear my phone beep.
‘Surprise! X’
It says. I shake my head and carry on. Not even wanting to think what that could mean. When I finish, I text him back.
‘I don’t like the sound of this x’
‘You’ll love it I promise. X’
I start making the next flavour, to keep my mind off what could be going on and hours go by. It’s 5pm before I know it, so I go up for a shower. I text him again.
‘Showering, when will you be back? Is Max with you?’
There’s no answer so I jump in the shower. I start to get annoyed. What the hell can they be doing? Then, just as I’m rinsing the conditioner out of my hair, I hear them talking in the kitchen. The shower is too loud for me to hear what’s being said, but they sound rowdy. I hope they’re not drunk, it’s Max’s birthday drinks tonight. I’ve organised a sort of ‘thing’ for him and I’ll be furious if they’ve ruined it. I get out of the shower with a black cloud over my head. I know I should just chill out, but until I know what’s going on, I can’t.
I stomp out of the bathroom in my towel, dripping water on the carpet, and meet them coming out of the kitchen, laughing and talking excitedly.
“Where have you been?”
“Whoa!” Max says, turns to Danny and murmurs in conspiracy. “War path…”
I narrow my eyes at the pair of them.
“Have you been drinking?”
“Uh oh!” laughs Max.
Danny approaches me and holds me at arm’s length; he looks goofy, like he just rode a rollercoaster. His face is flushed and I can smell a hint of alcohol.
“You have! We’re supposed to be doing that tonight. I can’t believe you go off…”
I don’t finish because Danny shushes me, laughing as he presses his finger into my lips.
“Shhh. Relax. We just had one, to celebrate.”
“Celebrate what?” I snap, feeling increasingly annoyed about being the only one not in on the secret.
Max pipes up from the background, “I think I’ll leave you guys to it.” Then he heads for the door, adding, “Eight o’clock in the bar,” before he closes the door behind him.
I turn back to Danny. It’s hard to be irritated by him when he looks so excited; I soften slightly and turn up the corner of my mouth in the slightest of smiles.
“So what’s going on?”
“I asked Max to help me with something after we got back from Bruges.” He pauses, allowing for maximum dramatic effect. “Something I’ve wanted to do for a really long time.”
“AND?”
Danny steps back and lifts up his top, which mystifies me until I see his right arm is cling-filmed down to his elbow and up onto his shoulder. A tattoo! My face lights up. I find very little sexier than a guy with a great tattoo. Danny with a tattoo might just make me combust.