Just Make Him Beautiful (34 page)

I got into my car and went over to Debbie’s house, hoping
my sister
would be there. I made it there in record time
,
and based
on
what Debbie’s mother told me, she wasn’t there.
Both her and Debbie left out and didn’t tell her where they were going.

Oh please!
What mother in their right frame of mind don’t find out where their child is going?

I sat in the car, trying to figure out where Keisha and her friend might have gone.
T
hey could have gone anywhere
…
the mall, the movies, downtown
,
or even to the park.

I pulled out my cell phone and tried to call
her
again
,
but it went straight to voice
mail.
F
uck
!
 

Having
nowhere
else to go and not wanting to go home, I pulled the address to the mental hospital where my real mom was staying out of my bag and input the information into my GPS.

*

It took me about
forty-five
minutes or so to get there
,
but I didn’t mind because it gave me time to think abou
t what I wanted to say to her.
I started wondering whether she would remember me
or whether she even looked the same
and what state of mind she was actually in
.
I pulled into the visitors’ parking lot, got out of the car
,
and headed to the
main
entrance.

The security guard stated to the visitors standing in line and waiting to go through a metal detector,
“Please place everything in your pockets into the bowl, including your belts, purses, watches, coins
,
and anything that may be metal
.
”

Dayum
!
I didn’t realize you had to go through all this. Fortunately, I didn’t have anything on me except for my keys because I
’d
left my bag in the trunk of my car. I dropped my car keys in the bowl and walked through without a hitch
and
proceeded to the information counter
.

“Who are you here to see?”

“
Ms.
Janet
Wilson.”

“And you are?”

“I’m her son,
Cameron Jenkins
…
I mean
,
Cameron Wilson
.”

“Do you have any ID
?
”

I pulled out my driver’s license from my back pocket.
“Here
.
”

“Okay
,
Mr. Wilson, have a seat
,
and we will let you know when she has come down.”

I took a seat in the waiting room along with several other people
who,
I
’m sure,
were waiting to see their loved ones as well. As I looked around, I was happy to see the facility
appeared
very clean.
The checkered
-
board floors were spotless with a high glossy
finish
,
and the walls were painted a bright white.

I grabbed one of the pamphlets and starting reading what they d
id
at th
e
facility. According to the pamphlet, the
facilit
y
h
e
ld over 175 patients,
a
full
-
time medical staff
of 50
on duty 24 hours a day
,
and 14 psychologist
s
.

“Mr. Wilson
.”

“Here
.
” I
got
up out of my seat and walk
ed
over to the information desk.

One of the security officers told me,
“Your mom is in room four
.
W
alk this way
.
” 

One of the attendants behind the information desk pressed a button
,
and the lock door on the left hand side of the information counter opened.
I followed the security guard down this long corridor.
We stopped in front of this padded cell, he swiped a card
,
and the door automatically opened.

I walked in and saw this woman slumped over in a chair
,
her head down. It didn’t look as though her hair had been done in years
,
because it was all over her head
, along with several matted spots.

I took a seat across from her and tried to look in
to
her
eyes
,
but she would
n’t
raise her head.
“Mother, this is Cameron
.
A
re you okay?” I stated in a
heartfelt
tone.

“Don’t waste your time
,
man,
”
the security guy told me. “S
he don’t talk
.
”

“What do you mean
,
she
doesn’t
talk?” I asked
him
.

“She hasn’t uttered five words since she’s been here. No one knows why
.
”

“Can I spend some time alone with her
,
please?”

“No problem
.
Y
ou have an hour. If you want to leave before then, just press this button next to the door, al
l
right
.
”

“Thank you,” I responded as he left the room.

I focused my attention back on my mother
.
I turned and faced her
.
“Mom, can you talk to me?”
I waited for her to answer
,
b
ut she said nothing
as she
s
a
t there with her head hung low.

I didn’t know if she could hear me
,
but I told
her
everything that had been going on for the past four years.
I
also
told her what had been going on with G
erdy
, her new husband
,
and the threats he made towards me and my sister,
about
Keshia and her grown ass, Ray’s murderer
,
Junior
,
who I just found out was Keith’s brother
,
and still roaming the streets
, and my best friend Robin
,
who had started sleeping with my boyfriend Keith.

At
times I saw her facial expression turn into a smile and then a frown as I told her
what
had been happening.

Once I was through, I sat there waiting for her to respond
,
I mean
,
say something, anything
.
But she didn’t.

“Mom
ma
, say something
.
”
T
ears began to flow
down
my cheeks. “Mom
ma
, can you even hear me?
Momma, talk to me, please.
I need your help
. T
here’s no one else I can turn to.
And I’m sorry I hadn’t come to visit you until now but
,
M
omma
,
please, I need your advice on what I should do
.
”

I sat there staring at her
,
waiting for a response.
I lowered my head on the table and cried my eyes out. I was so hurt that even my mother wouldn’t try to comfort me or even help me.

I was so tired, just tired of everything and everyone
.
I raised my head
and
wiped the tears from my eyes
.
“Okay
,
Momma, take care of yourself
.
A
nd
,
again, I’m sorry.” I got up from my seat and walked towards the door
.
I lowered my head and softly said, “And I’m sorry for not being more like Ray.”

“Where are you going
,
boy?”
m
y mother asked in a raspy
,
demanding
tone.

I was so stunned
,
I froze for a quick second
.
I turned around
,
and my mother was standing on her feet with her head held high and her arms stretched out wide. I walked over to her
sobbing
,
and she wrapped her arms
around me.

Within those four years I had grown an inch or so taller than she
.
I laid my head on her shoulder and ba
w
led my eyes out like a two
-
year
-
old.
Chile
, there’s nothing like a warm hug from
M
omma. We stood there in that room with her arms around me that seemed like hours
,
but I didn’t care
.
I couldn’t let go, I didn’t wanna let go.

“Baby, it’s okay
.
I
t’s gonna be al
l
right,” she said, rocking me in her arms.

We eventually sat back down at the table
.
M
y mother informed me that there was nothing wrong with her vocal cords
.
S
ome people she spoke to
,
others
she didn’t speak to
.
The latter
thought she couldn’t talk.

M
y mom and I talked about everything, including the fact that she was still mo
u
rning the los
s
of my brother Ray.
She also told me not to worry
,
that she would take care of everything.

“Mom, how are you gonna take care of anything being in here
?
” I look
ed
around at her padded cell.

“What
?
Y
ou think I have to stay here?”

“Yeah
.
W
ell
,
don’t you?”

“My poor baby
. N
o
,
Cameron
,
I don’t.
I’ve been here because o
f
my own
accord
.
I can leave whenever I want.”

“So
,
why do you stay here
, M
om?” I asked
,
shaking my head.

“
I stay here because I have no place to go,” she said
softly
,
choking up.

I lowered my head.
“I’m so sorry
,
M
om. I’m gonna change that, I promise
.
”

“Don’t be sorry
,
baby
.
I’ve doing just fine. I really have
.
”
S
he plac
ed
her hand on top of mine.
“So, like I said, I’ll take care of everything, al
l
right
.
”

“
Well, what do you want me to do?”

Momma sat back in the chair with her arms folded.
“Baby, all I need you to do is get me in the house. I’ll do the rest
.
”

“But
,
M
omma, what are you going to do? I mean, what else can I do?”

“Baby, like I said, just get me in the house.”