Just Make Him Beautiful (9 page)

Now, I know you might think that’s gross
,
but trust me, I was getting my life!

Ray and I had fucked so much
,
I didn’t need any Vaseline or much lube at all. Once he would get it in, my ass would start to moist
all
on its own.
Goo
d pussy does make its own juice
,
children.

Unfortunately, there was a downside
.

Ray would feel
so
guilty after
we had
sex
, he would start to yell at me and say things like, “Get away from me
,
” or “Why you make me do that?”

Chile
,
b
oo
.
L
ike it was my fault
.
Y
e
ah
,
right.

Then h
e would go over to his
hoochie
girlfriend Jasmine’s house and try to get with her
,
so he could still feel like a man.
And when
she
di
dn’t give him any, he would
come home and
wake me up in the middle of the night
, a
sk
ing
if I wanted some
more
dick.

Of course
,
I always did. I would never turn Ray down
.
I loved him because he was my brother, and I loved him because
,
in my mind,
he was my man
as well.

Chapter
5

Ray was going to be graduating from high school within the next few weeks
.
I wanted to buy him something
really
special
. I didn’t know what
,
but I knew what it would be once I saw it.
The problem was, I didn’t work,
and
my mother couldn’t afford to give us an allowance
.
S
o
,
I started going to the store for people in the neighborhood. I was going to be
a
t
eenager
in
a few more weeks as well
,
so
I was old enough and responsible enough to get what people needed from the store.
Hell, aside from that, I was sexually active.

This one day
,
I went to the store for this lady
name
d
Ms. Trace
y
,
who live
d
across the street from where I lived
.
She
was about
twenty-five
years old
.

When I came back from the store with her groceries, she looked
me up and down
and said
, “Boy, you
look good enough to eat.
”

Now, t
o tell
you
the truth, she scared the shit out of me. I thought she was one of those people who ate people
.
I know, I know, being as grown as I thought I was, you would think I would have known what the
h
o meant, but I didn’t.

I raced home to tell
M
other
exactly
what she
’d
said
to
me
.
“M
other
!
” I yelled
,
running through the door.

“Boy
,
why you doing all that yelling?”

“
Ms. Trac
e
y said I looked good enough to eat.
”
I tried to catch my breath. “
Does that mean she eats people
?
”

“No
,
it doesn’t
,
Cameron
.”
Mother laughed.
“J
ust don’t go in her house
when no one else is there
.
”

Anyway
,
it still didn’t make sense to me
.
I didn’t understand why my mother laughed. I went to my room hoping Ray would be in there listening to his rap music and I could ask him
,
but he wasn’t there.

My little sister barged in my room without knocking.
“Cameron, you wanna play house?”

“No, I don’t wanna play no house. Get outta my room
,
Ms. Thang
.
” I thr
ew
one of my pillows at her.

“Ouch
!
Y
ou hit me in my eye. I’m gonna go tell Mommy
.
”
S
he began to cry
,
holding her hand up to her eye and running out of my room.

“Good.”

To be honest, I did feel a little bad because I hadn’t played house with my baby sister in a while. I guess that’s because I’
d
grown up
,
and putting on a dress and playing the mother no longer interest
ed
me, especially now that
I knew what dick felt like
.

As I lay across my bunk thinking, I remember Ray said that he had a surprise for me on my
thirteenth
birthday.
I couldn’t wait for my birthday to come in a couple of days
.
You
would think this was a sick situation for an older brother and a younger brother to
be doing
the nasty
,
but I d
id
n’t blame Ray for any of it. If anyone
was
to blame, it w
as
me. I didn’t make the first move
,
but once it was made, I was the one who took it to another level. I was fast as a young
queen in training
and knew a little too much for my age.

After din
ner
that evening
,
my mother asked if I would wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen because she had been in the kitchen all day and was too tired. I really didn’t want to because Ray always went flying out the door after dinner and I always followed him. But since I agreed to clean up the kitchen
, I didn’t have any idea as to where he was.

A
fter cleaning the kitchen, I went door to door of every friend Ray had in our neighborhood looking for him. How sad is that?
Chile
b
oo,
I
was whipped.
Anyway, none of his friends had seen or heard from him.

As luck would have it, Ms. Tracey
,
the cannibal from across the street
,
saw me
heading
into my apartment complex.

“Hey
,
Cameron
!
” she yelled.

“Yes,” I said
,
turning around and facing her.

“Are you looking for your brother Ray?”

“Yeah
,
I am,” I replied while walking over in her direction.

“He’s in here playing cards with my brothers
.
”
S
he look
ed
me up and down
,
holding the door open so I could enter.

Ms. Tracey still lived at home with her mother and
her
two
younger brothers
,
Rocky,
a year older than Ray
,
and
Jack, who
was the same age.
Jack was into playing basketball and football like Ray.

I entered
their house
and found the three of them in the living room playing the card game, truth or dare.

“Dayum
,
yo
!
I see your little brother still follow you everywhere you go, Ray
.
”
Rocky
sta
r
ted laughing.

“Yo
,
little man, you wanna play some truth or dare
with us
?”
Jack
asked.

“Sure
.
W
hy not?” I sat down next to my brother.

“You sure you wanna play,
b
aby
boy?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m old enough,” I spat with a little attitude.

“Well
,
o
k
ay.
” Ray began to deal the cards.

“Now
,
how do you play this game?” I asked
,
picking up my cards.

“It’s just
a
game of
t
unk
.”
Rocky picked up his cards. “H
ave you ever heard of it?”

“
Nope, but I’ma fast learner
,
if someone explain it to me,” I said
,
smiling
and rocking from side to side.

“Yo
,
Ray, your little brother is a trip
,
man,”
Rocky
teased.

Jack began explaining
the game
to me
,
and it really didn’t seem all that difficult. Of course
,
I didn’t win any of the games we played
,
but
I was a trooper and took my dare like a man
.
Y
eah
,
right!

Anyway,
Ms. Tracey happened to walk by and noticed that I was playing the truth or dare game and asked if she could join in. I really didn’t know what they were up to
,
but they started laughing and smiling amongst themselves
,
including my own brother.

It was my turn to deal the cards
,
so I picked them up and shuffled them a few times and began to deal them out. Before the game had even started
,
it was over when Ray threw his hand down and yelled twenty
-
one. He had the lowest hand
,
so he won that round.

“Truth or dare
?
” he asked me.

“Dare,” I said with attitude.

He hesitated and looked around at
Rocky
, Jack
,
and Ms. Tracey
,
and they all looked back at him
,
smiling and nodding their heads. He then turned to me and said, “I dare you to go upstairs and take all your clothes off and get in Tracey’s bed
.
”
H
e look
ed
at me with a straight face.

“You want me to what?” I asked as though I didn’t hear him the first time.

“You heard me
.
I want you to go upstairs and take all your clothes off and get in Tracey’s bed.

I didn’t understand why my brother wanted me to do that
,
but I couldn’t resist because
,
if I did, each of them could punch me ten times each. And
,
personally, I d
id
n’t think
Rocky
liked me that much
.
He
was already rubbing his fist
s
together
,
warming them up to hit me.

Before I headed upstairs to perform my dare, my brother turned to Ms. Tracey and said, “
Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” she said
,
smiling from ear to ear.

“I want you to go upstairs and take all your clothes off and get in bed with my little brother.”

Ms. Tracey didn’t waste any
time going upstairs to her room.
As a matter of fact, she pas
sed
me going up the steps.
Anywho,
i
f I didn’t know any better, I would say they had planned this because they were laughing and giving each other high
-
five and shit.