Just One Look (6 page)

Well, see, I found this weird photo from the Photomat in the middle of my pack from Apple Orchard, in Chester, right, and my husband said it wasn’t him and really, it’s hard to tell because the picture is old and then Jack left the house…

“Mrs. Lawson?”

“Yes.”

“Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

“I think so. That I’m hysterical. My husband ran off. I’m trying to use the police to drag him back. That sound about right?”

He remained unruffled. “You have to understand. We can’t fully investigate until we have some evidence that a crime has been committed. Those are the rules set up by the NCIC.” He pointed to the sheet of paper again and said in his gravest tone: “That’s the National Crime Information Center.”

She almost rolled her eyes.

“Even if we find your husband, we wouldn’t tell you where he was. This is a free country. He is of age. We can’t force him to come back.”

“I’m aware of that.”

“We could make a few calls, maybe make a few discreet inquiries.”

“Great.”

“I’ll need the vehicle make and license plate number.”

“It’s a Ford Windstar.”

“Color?”

“Dark blue.”

“Year?”

She didn’t remember.

“License plate?”

“It begins with an M.”

Officer Daley looked up. Grace felt like a moron.

“I have a copy of the registration upstairs,” she said. “I can check.”

“Do you use E-ZPass at tollbooths?”

“Yes.”

Officer Daley nodded and wrote that down. Grace headed upstairs and found the file. She made a copy with her scanner and gave it to Officer Daley. He wrote something down. He asked a few questions. She stuck with the facts: Jack had come home from work, helped put the children to bed, gone out, probably for groceries… and that was it.

After about five minutes, Daley seemed satisfied. He smiled and told her not to worry. She stared at him.

“We’ll check back with you in a few hours. If we hear nothing by then, let’s talk some more.”

He left. Grace tried Jack’s office again. Still no answer. She checked the clock. It was nearly 10 A.M. The Photomat would be opening now. Good.

She had some questions for Josh the Fuzz Pellet.

Charlaine Swain slipped on her new online lingerie purchase-a Regal Lace babydoll with matching G-string-and pulled up her bedroom shade.

Something was wrong.

The day was Tuesday. The time was 10:30 A.M. Charlaine’s children were at school. Her husband Mike would be at his desk in the city, the phone wedged between shoulder and ear, his fingers busy rolling and unrolling his shirtsleeves, his collar tighter by the day but his ego too proud to admit the need for a bigger size.

Her neighbor, the scuzzy creepazoid named Freddy Sykes, should be home by now.

Charlaine glanced toward the mirror. She didn’t do that often. There was no need to remind herself that she was over forty. The image that stared back was still shapely, she guessed, helped no doubt by the babydoll’s underwired support-but what had once been considered buxom and curvaceous had weakened and loosened. Oh, Charlaine worked out. There was yoga class-yoga being this year’s Tae Bo or Step-three mornings a week. She stayed fit, battling against the obvious and unbeatable, holding tight even as it slipped away.

What had happened to her?

Forget the physical for a second. The young Charlaine Swain had been a bundle of energy. She had zest for life. She was ambitious and a go-getter. Everyone said it. There was always a spark with Charlaine, a crackle in the air, and somewhere, somehow, life-just plain living-had extinguished it.

Were the children to blame? Was it Mike? There was a time when he couldn’t get enough of her, when an outfit like this would make his eyes widen and his mouth water. Now when she strutted by, he would barely look up.

When had that started?

She couldn’t put her finger on it. She knew the process had been gradual, the change so slow as to be almost indiscernible, until, alas, it was a
fait accompli
. It hadn’t all been his fault. She knew that. Her drive had waned, especially during the years of pregnancies, post-natal nursing, the ensuing exhaustion of infants. That was natural, she supposed. Everyone went through that. Still she wished that she had made more of an effort before the temporary changes hardened into something apathetic and enduring.

The memories, however, were still there. Mike used to romance her. He used to surprise her. He used to lust after her. He used to-and yes, this might sound crude-jump her bones. Now what he wanted was efficiency, something mechanical and precise-the dark, a grunt, a release, sleep.

When they talked, it was about the kids-the class schedules, the pickups, the homework, the dentist appointments, the Little League games, the Biddy Basketball program, the play-dates. But that wasn’t just Mike’s fault either. When Charlaine had coffee with the women in the neighborhood-the Mommy and Me meetings at Starbucks-the conversations were so cloying, so boring, so stuffed with all things children, that she wanted to scream.

Charlaine Swain was being smothered.

Her mother-the idle queen of the country-club lunch-told her that this was life, that Charlaine had everything a woman could want, that her expectations were simply unrealistic. The saddest part was, Charlaine feared that her mother was right.

She checked her makeup. She applied more lipstick and rouge and then sat back and appraised herself. Yep, she looked like a whore. She grabbed a Percodan, the mommy equivalent of the lunchtime cocktail, and swallowed it. Then she took a closer look in the mirror, squinting even.

Was the old Charlaine still there somewhere?

There was this woman who lived two blocks down, a nice mother of two like Charlaine. Two months ago, this nice mother of two walked up to the Glen Rock train tracks and committed suicide by stepping in front of the 11:10 A.M. Bergen line heading south. Horrible story. Everyone talked about it for weeks. How could this woman, this nice mother of two, just abandon her children like that? How could she be so selfish? And yet, as Charlaine tsk-tsked with her fellow suburbanites, she felt a small pang of jealousy. For this nice mother, it was over. There had to be relief in that.

Where was Freddy?

Charlaine actually looked forward to this, her Tuesdays at ten, and perhaps that was the saddest thing of all. Her initial reaction to Freddy’s peeping had been revulsion and rage. When and how had that slid into acceptance and even, God forgive her, arousal? No, she thought. It wasn’t arousal. It was… something. That was all. It was a spark. It was something to feel.

She waited for his shade to come up.

It didn’t.

Strange. Come to think of it, Freddy Sykes never pulled down his shades. Their properties backed up to each other’s, so that only they could see in each other’s window. Freddy never pulled down the shade in the back. Why would he?

Her eyes roamed toward the other windows. All the shades were pulled down. Curious. The curtains in what she assumed was the den-she had never, of course, stepped foot in his house-were drawn closed.

Was Freddy traveling? Had he perhaps gone away?

Charlaine Swain caught her reflection in the window and felt a fresh wave of shame. She grabbed a robe-her husband’s ratty terrycloth-and slipped into it. She wondered if Mike was having an affair, if another woman had drained that once insatiable sex drive, or was he just not interested in her? She wondered which was worse.

Where was Freddy?

And how degrading, how truly scraping-the-bottom pitiful it was, that this meant so much to her. She stared at the house.

There was movement.

It was slight. A shadow had crossed the side of a shade. But movement nonetheless. Maybe, just maybe, Freddy was truly peeping again, upping, if you will, his excitement level. That could be it, right? Most peepers got off on the stealth,
I Spy
aspects of the act. Maybe he simply didn’t want her to see him. Maybe he was watching her right now, surreptitiously.

Could that be it?

She loosened the robe and let it slide down her shoulders. The terrycloth reeked of man sweat and the aging remnants of cologne she’d bought Mike, what, eight, nine years ago. Charlaine felt the tears sting her eyes. But she didn’t turn away.

Something else suddenly appeared between the window shades. Something… blue?

She squinted. What was it?

The binoculars. Where were they? Mike kept a box of crap like that in his closet. She found it, dug through the many power cords and adapters, and unearthed the Leicas. She remembered when they bought them. They were on a cruise in the Caribbean. The stop was one of the Virgin Islands -she didn’t remember which one-and the purchase had been spontaneous. That was why she remembered it, the buying of the binoculars, because of the spontaneity of such a mundane act.

Charlaine put the binoculars up to her eyes. They were auto-focus, so there was nothing to adjust. It took her a moment or two to find the space between the window and the shade. But the blue spot was there. She saw the flicker and her eyes closed. She should have known.

The television. Freddy had turned on the television.

He was home.

Charlaine stood without moving. She didn’t know how she felt anymore. The numb was back. Her son Clay liked to play a song from the
Shrek
movie about a guy forming an L with his fingers on his forehead. Loser. That was Freddy Sykes. And now Freddy, this scuzzy creepazoid, this Loser with a finger-capital L, would rather watch television than her lingerie-clad body.

Something was still strange.

All those shades pulled down. Why? She had lived next to the Sykes house for eight years. Even when Freddy’s mother was alive, the shades were never pulled down, the curtains never closed. Charlaine took another look through her binoculars.

The television flicked off.

She stopped, waiting for something to happen. Freddy had lost track of the time, she thought. The shade would open now. They would begin their perverted ritual.

But that’s not what happened.

Charlaine heard the slight whir and knew immediately what it was. Freddy’s electric garage door had been activated.

She moved closer to the window. There was the sound of a car starting up, and then Freddy’s hunk-of-junk Honda pulled out. Sunlight reflected off the windshield. The glare made her squint. She blocked it by cupping her hand above her eyes.

The car moved and the glare cleared. She could now see who was driving.

It wasn’t Freddy.

Something, something base and primitive, commanded Charlaine to duck out of sight. She did. She dropped down and crawled for the robe. She pressed the terrycloth against herself. The smell-that combination of Mike and stale cologne-now seemed oddly comforting.

Charlaine moved toward the side of the window. She pressed her back against the wall and peaked out.

The Honda Accord had stopped. The driver-the Asian man behind the wheel-was staring at her window.

Charlaine quickly flattened herself back against the wall. She stayed still, holding her breath. She stayed that way until she heard the car start moving again. And then, just to be on the safe side, she stayed down another ten minutes.

When she looked again, the car was gone.

The house next door was still.

At exactly 10:15 A.M., Grace arrived at the Photomat.

Josh the Fuzz Pellet was not there. As a matter of fact, nobody was there. The sign in the store window, probably left from the night before, read CLOSED.

She checked the printed hours. Opens at 10 A.M. She waited. At ten-twenty, the first customer, a harried woman in her mid-thirties, spotted the CLOSED sign, read the hours, tried the door. She sighed in high drama. Grace gave her a commiserating shrug. The woman huffed off. Grace waited.

When the store had still not opened at 10:30 A.M., Grace knew that it was bad. She decided to try Jack’s office again. His line kept going into voice mail-eerie hearing Jack’s too-formal recorded voice-so she tried Dan’s line this time. The two men had, after all, spoken last night. Maybe Dan could offer a clue.

She dialed his work number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dan, it’s Grace.”

“Hey!” he said with a tad too much enthusiasm. “I was just about to call you.”

“Oh?”

“Where’s Jack?”

“I don’t know.”

He hesitated. “When you say you don’t know-”

“You called him last night, right?”

“Yes.”

“What did you two talk about?”

“We’re supposed to be making a presentation this afternoon. On the Phenomytol studies.”

“Anything else?”

“What do you mean, anything else? Like what?”

“Like what else did you talk about?”

“Nothing. I wanted to ask him about a PowerPoint slide. Why? What’s going on, Grace?”

“He went out after that.”

“Right, so?”

“I haven’t seen him since.”

“Wait, when you say you haven’t seen him…?”

“I mean, he hasn’t come home, he hasn’t called, I have no idea where he is.”

“Jesus, did you call the police?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And nothing.”

“My God. Look, let me get out of here. I’ll be right over.”

“No,” she said. “I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Positive. I have some things to do,” she said lamely. She moved the phone to the other ear, unsure how to put this. “Has Jack been okay?”

“You mean, at work?”

“I mean anywhere.”

“Yeah, sure, he’s Jack. You know.”

“You haven’t noticed any change?”

“We’ve both been stressed about these drug trials, if that’s what you mean. But nothing unusual. Grace, are you sure I shouldn’t come up?”

There was a beep on her phone. Call Waiting. “I need to go, Dan. That’s the other line.”

“Probably Jack. Call me if you need anything.”

She clicked him off and checked the Caller ID. Not Jack. At least, not his cell. The number was blocked.

“Hello?”

“Ms. Lawson, this is Officer Daley. Has there been any word from your husband?”

“No.”

“We tried you at home.”

“Right, I’m out.”

There was a pause. “Where are you?”

“In town.”

“Where in town?”

“I’m at the Photomat store.”

A longer pause. “I don’t mean to sound judgmental, but isn’t that a strange place to be when you’re concerned about your husband?”

“Officer Daley?”

“Yes?”

“There’s this new invention. It’s called the cell phone. In fact, you’re calling me on it right now.”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Have you learned anything about my husband?”

“That’s why I’m calling, actually. My captain is in now. He’d like to do a follow-up interview.”

“A follow-up?”

“Yes.”

“Is that standard?”

“Sure.” He sounded like it was anything but.

“Have you found something?”

“No, I mean, nothing to be alarmed about.”

“What does that mean?”

“Captain Perlmutter and I just need more information, Mrs. Lawson.”

Another Photomat customer, a recently streaked quasi-blonde about Grace’s own age, approached the empty store. She cupped her hands around her eyes and peered inside. She too frowned and scoffed away.

“You’re both at the station now?” Grace asked.

“Yes.”

“I’ll be there in three minutes.”

Captain Perlmutter asked, “How long have you and your husband lived in town?”

They were jammed into an office more fitting for the school custodian than the police captain of a town. The Kasselton cops had moved their station house to the former town library, a building with history and tradition but very little comfort. Captain Stu Perlmutter sat behind his desk. He leaned back at the first question, hands resting on a tidy paunch. Officer Daley leaned against the door frame, trying to look comfortable.

Grace said, “Four years.”

“Like it here?”

“Well enough.”

“Great.” Perlmutter smiled at her, a teacher approving of the answer. “And you have kids, right?”

“Yes.”

“How old?”

“Eight and six.”

“Eight and six,” he repeated with a wistful smile. “Man, those are great ages. Not babies, and not teens yet.”

Grace decided to wait him out.

“Mrs. Lawson, has your husband ever disappeared before?”

“No.”

“Are there any problems with the marriage?”

“None.”

Perlmutter gave her a skeptical look. He didn’t wink, but he came close. “Everything is perfect, eh?”

Grace said nothing.

“How did you and your husband meet?”

“Pardon?”

“I asked-”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“I’m just trying to get a feel here.”

“A feel for what? Have you found something or not?”

“Please.” Perlmutter tried on what he must have believed was a disarming smile. “I just need to get some stuff down. For background, okay? Where did you and Jack Lawson meet?”

“In France.”

He wrote it down. “You’re an artist, aren’t you, Mrs. Lawson?”

“Yes.”

“So you were overseas studying your art?”

“Captain Perlmutter?”

“Yes.”

“No offense, but this line of questioning is bizarre.”

Perlmutter glanced at Daley. He shrugged to signal that he meant no harm. “Maybe you’re right.”

“Have you learned something or not?”

“I believe Officer Daley explained to you that your husband is of age, that we really aren’t obligated to tell you anything?”

“He did.”

“Right, well, we don’t think he’s met up with foul play, if that’s your concern.”

“What makes you say that?”

“No evidence of such.”

“Meaning,” she said, “that you haven’t found bloodstains or anything like that?”

“That’s correct. But more than that”-Perlmutter looked over at Daley again-“we did find something that, well, we probably shouldn’t share with you.”

Grace adjusted herself in the seat. She tried very hard to meet his eye, but he wouldn’t face her. “I’d very much appreciate knowing what you found.”

“It’s not much,” Perlmutter said.

She waited.

“Officer Daley called your husband’s office. He’s not there, of course. I’m sure you know that already. He also didn’t call in sick. So we decided to investigate a little more. Unofficially, you understand.”

“Right.”

“You were helpful enough to give us your car’s E-ZPass number. We ran it through the computer. What time did you say your husband went out last night?”

“Around ten o’clock.”

“And you thought that maybe he went to the grocery store?”

“I didn’t know. He didn’t tell me.”

“He just upped and left?”

“Right.”

“And you never asked him where he was going?”

“I was upstairs. I heard the car start up.”

“Okay, here’s what I need to know.” Perlmutter let go of the paunch. His chair creaked as he leaned forward. “You called him on the cell phone. Pretty much right away. Is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“Well, see, that’s the problem. Why didn’t he answer you? I mean, if he wanted to talk to you?”

Grace saw where he was going with this.

“Do you think your husband-what?-got in an accident right away? Or maybe someone grabbed him within minutes of leaving your house?”

Grace hadn’t really thought about that. “I don’t know.”

“Do you ever drive up the New York Thruway?”

The change of subject threw her. “Not often, but sure, I’ve taken it.”

“Ever go to Woodbury Commons?”

“The outlet mall?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve been, yes.”

“How long do you figure it takes to get there?”

“Half an hour. Is that where he went?”

“I doubt it, not at that hour. The stores are all closed. But he used his E-ZPass at the tollbooth on that exit at precisely 10:26 P.M. It leads to Route 17, and heck, that’s how I go to the Poconos. Give or take ten minutes either way, that would fit a scenario where your husband left your house and drove straight in that direction. From there, well, who knows where he went? It’s fifteen miles to Interstate 80. From there you can go straight to California if you’d like.”

She sat there.

“So add it up, Mrs. Lawson. Your husband leaves the house. You call him immediately. He doesn’t answer. Within a half hour or so, we know he’s driving in New York. If someone had attacked him or if he got in an accident, well, there’s no way he could have been snatched and then his E-ZPass used up there in that short a time frame. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”

Grace met his eye. “That I’m a hysterical bimbo whose husband ran out on her.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s just… Well, we really can’t investigate any further at this point. Unless…” He leaned a little closer. “Mrs. Lawson, is there anything else you can think of that could help us here?”

Grace tried not to squirm. She glanced behind her. Officer Daley had not moved. She had a copy of the strange photograph in her purse. She thought about Fuzz Pellet Josh and the store not opening. It was time to tell them. In hindsight she should have told Daley about it when it first showed up.

“I’m not sure it’s relevant,” she began, reaching into her purse. She pulled out a copy of the photograph and passed it to Perlmutter. Perlmutter took out a pair of reading glasses, cleaned them with his shirttail, and pushed them into place. Daley walked around and bent down over the captain’s shoulder. She told them about finding the photograph mixed in with her others. The two officers stared at her as if she’d taken out a razor and started shaving her head.

When Grace was done, Captain Perlmutter pointed to the picture and said, “And you’re sure that’s your husband?”

“I think so.”

“But you’re not sure?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

He nodded in that way people do when they think you’re a lunatic. “And the other people in the photo? The young lady somebody crossed out?”

“I don’t know them.”

“But your husband. He said it wasn’t him, right?”

“Right.”

“So if it isn’t him, well, this is irrelevant. And if it is him”-Perlmutter took off the glasses-“he lied to you. Isn’t that correct, Mrs. Lawson?”

Her cell phone rang. Grace grabbed it fast and checked the number.

It was Jack.

For a moment she went very still. Grace wanted to excuse herself, but Perlmutter and Daley were both looking at her. Asking for privacy was not really an option here. She hit the answer button and brought the phone to her ear.

“Jack?”

“Hey.”

The sound of his voice should have filled her with relief. It didn’t.

Jack said, “I tried you at home. Where are you?”

“Where am
I
?”

“Listen, I can’t talk long. I’m sorry about running out on you like that.”

His tone was aiming for casual, but it wasn’t hitting the mark.

“I need a few days,” he said.

“What are you talking about?”

“Where are you, Grace?”

“I’m at the police station.”

“You called the police?”

Her eyes met Perlmutter’s. He wiggled his fingers, as if to say,
Give me the phone, little lady. I’ll handle it.

“Look, Grace, just give me a few days. I…” Jack stopped. And then he said something that made the dread grow tenfold. “I need some space.”

“Space,” she repeated.

“Yes. A little space. That’s all. Please tell the police that I apologize. I have to go now. Okay? I’ll be back soon.”

“Jack?”

He didn’t reply.

“I love you,” Grace said.

But the phone was dead.