Just One Week (Just One Song) (22 page)

I hate that that’s my answer for everything these days.

“I care about him, too, Nic. It’s just … like I said. It’s not a good time. I’m swamped at work and with the tour starting I wouldn’t see him anyway.”

“I get that,” she says with a loud sigh. “I just want to see you happy. And Chase can be that for you, I just know it.”

“I am happy, Nic,” I say and close my eyes. I’m going to hell with all the lies I’m telling. Demons in hell are tallying up my sins by the second. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I’ve gotta get going, I have a meeting soon, but I’m really glad you had a great honeymoon. Tell Zack hi for me and I’ll call you soon, okay?”

She pauses before answering. I can practically see her mind working to figure me out. “Okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Bye.”

I hang up before she can tell I’m already crying.

I’m nervous starting a tour this time with Nicole and Zack still being newlyweds and three additional guys on the bus with them. Being at their house before their wedding was nauseating enough, but all of us cramped together on a bus while they make out like bunnies upstairs? It has the potential to get awkward real quick. At least Zack was smart enough to schedule more time between stops so we can rest up in hotels along the way. We never felt the need to do that before, but hopefully it’ll keep us from going crazy.

My nerves don’t compare at all though to what Nicole look likes in the make-up chair. Her skin keeps alternating between white as a baby’s butt and green. I seriously hope she doesn’t throw up.

“You gonna be okay out there tonight?” I ask with a slight smirk to my lips. Nic is easy to rile up. I almost feel bad when I see her hands tremor slightly against the armrest on the sides of her chair.

She rolls her eyes at me in the mirror. Damn she looks scared as hell. “I’ll be fine, Chase.”

“Is Mia going to be here tonight?”

I haven’t asked Nic in the last month if she’s talked to Mia. I’ve tried to mind my own business but it’s been hard. I’ve thought about Mia every minute of the day. What made her so scared? What made her run? Why was I such a dick at the airport? Has she told Nicole anything? I haven’t said anything or asked the questions that are on the tip of my tongue because I promised. I hate that I promised though. Something in my gut tells me it was one of the worst decisions I’ve made in a long time.

If I called Mia, would she even answer? I can’t stop thinking about the last thing I said to her and the blank look on her face.

I won’t chase after you.

I never asked you to.

God that hit me in the chest so hard I felt like I got sucker punched. How in the hell did I let Mia walk out of my life with that being the last thing I said? Why didn’t I pull her into my arms and tell her how much I loved her? Why didn’t I hop on the plane with her? I’d chase her. I should have followed her or gone with her and held her and let her keep crying on my shoulder.

Nic pulls her eyebrows in so close together it suddenly looks like she only has one, and then she frowns. “She’s busy working on some project in New York. I haven’t talked to her in a couple of weeks.”

My eyes widen. What the fuck? I don’t think I hear anything after she mentions New York.

“Chase?” I look up at Nicole and she looks green again. Aw hell, I have to get out of here before I do something stupid like telling her that her best friend is lying. That wouldn’t go over well forty-five minutes before we have to be on stage.

Shit.

“Huh?” I ask when I realize she’s still staring at me wide-eyed in the mirror.

“Why did you think Mia would be here?”

“Uh … because your best friends and I didn’t think she’d miss this for the world.” Because she wouldn’t, damn it. I may not know a lot about Mia, and we might never get together like I want, but I sure as hell know that there’s absolutely nothing that would keep Mia away from seeing Nicole open with Zack Walters in Minneapolis of all places. This is where they began. Even if she was busy, she’d make the damn the time.

Nicole presses her lips together as she watches me while the hair stylist tugs on her hair. It looks painful as hell and almost makes me want to shave my head bald again so no one ever comes at me like that.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I suddenly know why children can never lie to their parents when Nic looks at me like this. I hate this damn look.

“Nothing,” I say as I stand up. “I’m going to go find Jake. Want me to send Zack in here?”

She shakes her head no. “I need a few minutes to freak out first. I’ll see you out there in twenty minutes.”

“Sure thing, baby doll.” I lean over and press a kiss on her cheek. “See you on stage. And stop worrying, you’re fucking fantastic and the crowd is going to love us.”

I chuckle as I walk away, listening to Nicole muttering something about fans hating Zack’s wife. She’s had the same damn fear that all the women are going to start screaming and boo-ing at her as soon as she steps on stage for the last year now. I have a feeling this shit haunts her dreams.

It’d make me laugh if I didn’t have a sinking sensation in my gut.

Once I’m out in the hallway, I duck into an empty room and dial Mia’s number. It rings three times before she picks up. A vile taste hits my mouth instantly and I take a deep breath when a male voice comes on the line.

“Hello?”

“Is Mia there?” I ask through clenched teeth. Why is a man answering her phone?

He sounds nervous. “Yeah … want me to tell her who’s calling?”

“Chase. Who are you?” I sound like a prick. I know it, I just can’t help it. A thousand thoughts are running through my mind. Does she already have another man in her bed?

“Elijah, I’m her brother. Hold on a sec.” I exhale before he’s done talking as all the crazy thoughts that took up residence in my head flee. I hear muffled voices and a scratchy sound that tells me someone has the speaker covered with their hands.

“Hey Chase.” Her voice is just above a whisper and I press my teeth together to resist the urge to snap at her. She sounds reluctant to talk to me and I’m angry all over again.

“What’s going on Mia?” I lash out, and squeeze my eyes shut knowing I sound like an asshole.

She sighs and I hear more murmuring in the background. “This really isn’t a good time, Chase. What did you need?”

“Nicole needs you. We’re going on stage in forty-five minutes and I just found out you’re not coming to see us.”

“I can’t.”

I feel my free hand tighten into a fist and I glare at the cement wall wondering if punching it will ease the pain or the sense of foreboding that I feel all over and can’t explain.

“Why haven’t you told Nicole you’re in Minneapolis or that you lost your job yet?” Why do I feel like interrogating Mia is going to get me anywhere? I’m lucky she hasn’t called me a prick and hung up yet.

I want to screw the concert and find out where the fuck she’s at and see her. I’m going crazy and she’s freaking me out. All emotions I don’t handle well. The cement wall in front of me is looking more appealing every freaking second. Pressing my free palm against the wall, I lean against it and let the cement cool me down a little bit.

“I’m not trying to be a prick, Mia. Are you okay?”

Her voice is weak when she speaks again. “I’m … not. I have to go Chase.”

Shit. Something lodges in my throat and I have no idea what’s going on right now, but Mia is scaring the hell out of me. “Just wait. Before you hang up, I’m getting a pass for you. Come anytime you can. We don’t go on for almost an hour and we’ll be on stage for two. Show up at the south doors and I’ll have Darren out there. Just come, Mia. It’d mean a lot to Nicole tonight.” And me.

Wisely, I don’t say that part, but I know she knows I’m thinking it. Did that just scare her away?

“Good-bye Chase.” The phone clicks. I stare at my phone as her name flashes. She just hung up on me? Shit.

I slam the palm of my hand against the wall and am instantly thankful I didn’t punch it when my skin turns red and the pain buzzes up to my wrist. The last thing I need is a broken fist right before a tour starts. At least I’m still slightly sane. I rub my chest to get rid of the aching feeling that started when I talked to Nicole and has been slowly increasing in size and pain since Mia answered the phone.

I blare music through my mp3 player and take a few shots hoping the alcohol will calm me down but nothing helps. Without meaning to, I pace the hallway backstage and find myself constantly looking down the back hallway, expecting- hoping - to see Mia walk out at any moment, smiling and eyes dancing in amusement at my earlier freak out. Except she never comes, and I know something is wrong.

Before I know it, one of our roadies, Scotty, comes out and tells me it’s time to get our asses on stage. The stage. It’s the one place where every other thought leaves my head and all I can see and feel and sense is our music. It’s the last place I want to be right now. I just don’t know where else to go. Hell, I don’t have anywhere else to go.

Reluctantly, I make my way towards the stage and spot Zack leaning around the corner, some cheesy hazy eyed look all over him. I know without even turning that he’s looking at Nic. She’s probably still freaking out and he’s standing back being amused by the whole ordeal.

I resist the urge to start demanding answers from him about Mia. Where do her parents live? Where does Elijah live? What’s his number? Where the fuck is she? Zack would smack me over the back of the head and tell me to calm the fuck down. And since he can’t keep anything from Nic, and we have to be on stage in five minutes, now is most definitely not the time to say anything.

Instead, I push him forward so he trips over his own two feet. “Come on, man. Quit drooling over your wife and let’s get this show on the road.”

Without looking back at me, Zack’s smile widens and I watch him from the corner, scowling, as he talks to Nicole.

He brushes her hair behind her ear and I’m far enough away that I can’t hear what they’re saying, but I’m close enough where I’m able to see Nicole’s expression change from fear to one of peace.

I throw a nod in Zack’s direction, letting him know that I’m heading to my spot. I slip around another corner and wait for the cue from Scotty to tell me to get my ass on stage. The lights turn off and I head out and take my seat at my drum set. This is the place where everything else gets left behind. It’s the only place in my life where I’ve ever felt like I belonged to something or someone. Thoughts of Mia though are swirling through my mind like a tsunami wave, crashing down against my head and my chest.

I can play these songs in my sleep. I know it, but I still have to take one second before I start beating the bass drum with my foot, signaling the beginning of our first song to compose myself.

After a few seconds of deep breathing, which does nothing to calm the fear and the pain, I start tapping on the kick drum and watch as Nicole, Zack, Jake and Garrett head out onto the darkened stage to their stops. Zack walks Nicole to her keyboard, kissing her one more time and I almost want to throw up and screw the whole damn night.

Something is wrong with Mia and we should be there, not here. Why in the hell didn’t I say anything earlier?

Zack looks back at me one more time, and I start the drum solo, just as Zack grabs the microphone.

“Hello, Minneapolis!”

“I don’t mean to be a prick, man, but what in the hell is going on with you tonight? You screwed up two of your solos.”

I almost want to hit Jake just for pointing it out, but he’s right. I was off all night long, but only because I can’t stop thinking about Mia and wondering what in the hell is going on with her.

“I know, man.”

“Wanna tell me what in the hell it was about?” Zack asks as him and Nicole joins us in the hallway after the concert.

I don’t. I don’t want them knowing how much Mia really means to me when I’ve spent the last few weeks assuring everyone I’m fine and that there was never anything going on in the first place. Nicole’s the only one who knows I’m full of shit, but whatever.

I hate that Mia has lied to her. She wouldn’t do it without a good reason, and it’s the reason that terrifies the hell out of me.