Just the Man She Needs (19 page)

A grin sprinted across his face and he closed his left eye in a suggestive wink. “Yes, I know.”

She gazed at him for a minute before her face slowly creased in a laugh. “You devil.”

“But I’m precious, aren’t I? I mean, you wouldn’t exchange me for any other man, now would you? Come on and fess up.”

“I’ll give that some thought,” she said. “I don’t like to make rash statements.”

“Hmm. I see. That’s a trait to be prized.”

“You’re laughing at me.”

He poked his tongue in his cheek and made a stab at appearing serious. “Considering what I may be up against, you don’t think
I’d
be that rash, do you?”

She hated to josh like that when she wasn’t sure of her ground. She could banter with the best of them, provided there was no serious undercurrent. Nobody had to tell her that when they got back to her house and began to talk, there wouldn’t be a smile on Ashton’s face. He took his time with the chocolate cheesecake that he ordered for dessert, chewing slowly and sensuously as he looked into her eyes. She pushed away her sorbet, her taste for food gone, as her nipples tightened and tension gathered within her while she stared into the dark desire of his mesmerizing eyes. He placed his fork on the side of his dessert plate and beckoned for the waitress.

“May I have the bill, please?” He took out his cell phone and dialed Bob. “We’ll be out front in about ten minutes.”

He didn’t kiss her in the car, and that disappointed her, though she should have known he wouldn’t do that in the presence of a man who was obviously his employee. She didn’t know what he said to Bob when they got out of the car, but she hoped he told the man that he’d finished work for the night.

“I’m going to make us some coffee,” she told him in her apartment. She didn’t especially want coffee, but having it would allow her to do something with her hands while they talked.

“All right, if you like, but please don’t stay in there too long.”

She made the coffee with Melita papers, poured it into an insulated pitcher, put it on a tray along with cups and saucers, milk and a spoon and was back within a few minutes. She placed it on the coffee table and sat on the sofa in front of it.

Ashton faced her in a chair, and when her surprise showed, he explained, “I want us to talk, and if I sit over there with you, talk will not be my priority. Why did you stop returning my calls?”

She realized that she had folded her arms across her middle in a posture of self-protection, and unfolded them. “I was scared, Ashton. I saw myself going through what I experienced a decade earlier, only this time, I had invested so much more of myself in the relationship. You told Miles that, although you loved me, you weren’t satisfied that I was the woman for you. Did you expect me to sit around and wait for you to find a more suitable woman?”

He leaned forward and braced his hands on his knees. “And you didn’t care enough to discuss it or even to find out what aspect of our relationship wasn’t working for me? Don’t you know that if a man really loves you—and I do—you can fix most anything that goes wrong? Anything short of infidelity, that is.”

“That’s what Miles said, but I was hurt. You had some shortcomings, too, Ashton.”

“Of course I have, and we’ll get to those as soon as we iron this out.”

He wanted a clean slate, and so did she, so she wasn’t going to hold back a thing. “I agree that I should have talked with you, but I looked at that as begging to be accepted, and…well, that’s not in me. I wasn’t unfaithful, although I confess that I tried to be. I simply couldn’t go through with it.”

“I know.”

She nearly swallowed her tongue. “You know
what?
”

“I’ve known Jeffrey Nash since college days. He told me, but he made it clear that you did nothing to encourage his feelings for you.” He looked directly at her then with slightly narrowed eyes. “Sometimes I think you have no idea how attractive you are, and how alluring. Why did you try to go to bed with Jeffrey?”

“I can’t stand a man who tattles,” she said. “I wanted to get you out of my thoughts. I wanted to stop needing you. That’s why. And, dammit, stop grilling me.”

“I’m not grilling you, I need to know, and I can only find out by asking you. He wasn’t tattling. He wanted to tell me that you loved me and that, if I loved you, I ought to get busy and shore up my relationship with you. He was being a friend. I had already had as much of your silence as I could take, Felicia. If he hadn’t spoken to me, I’m not sure I would ever have made this move. You hurt me terribly.”

“But you gave me a limousine and bodyguard. Was that a business move, or what?”

“You know it had nothing to do with business. I forced it on you because I needed to protect you.”

She needed the answer to one question, and that meant raising the issue that had the potential for destroying their relationship, but she had to do it. “Why have you never invited me to your home? You’re not married, and I don’t think you’re living with a woman. Why?”

With his elbows braced on his thighs, he rubbed his flat palms together, back and forth. “I didn’t realize that that concerned you. I’ve never taken a woman home with me or invited one to visit me, because I don’t want Teddy to see women parading in and out of my life. I also don’t want him to think that having different women friends is necessarily a good thing. Most of all, I haven’t wanted him to become attached to a woman, only to have her slip out of his life to be replaced by another one. I made up my mind when I was given his sole custody that until I was certain that I wanted a woman to be my life partner, I wouldn’t introduce her to my son. As it happened, he met you and took to you at once.”

“Did that bother you?”

“Not really. I saw it as an act of fate. Is there anything else about me that bothers you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you’d bought Skate newspapers? You spent an evening here and didn’t say one word about it.”

“I learned that morning that the deal went through, and I didn’t want to say or do anything that might spoil the evening. I phoned you the next day with the hope that we could have lunch together, and I’d tell you about it, but you didn’t answer my call then or anytime thereafter until today.

“Do you feel any resentment toward me?” Ashton asked her, and she could tell from his aura of concern and anxiety that the time had come to let go of her self-protective attitude and to trust that, because he loved her, he would not deliberately hurt her.

“Not that I recognize. I’ve missed you, and I confess that I didn’t really understand who you are to me until I was repelled by the prospect Jeffrey Nash—a good-looking, kind and respectable man—would possess me. I think you and I asked each other to atone for someone else’s sin. You’re right to set a good example for Teddy and to protect him from ephemeral attachments to different mother substitutes. As I think of it, your policy in regard to Teddy is commendable.”

She brushed a tear from her left eye. “I’m not crying—this eye likes to get teary.” It was a time for the truth, not for posturing or withholding her feelings. If he was closer, and if he had his arms around her, maybe sharing what ached inside of her would be easier. It would have to wait for another, more intimate time.

She smiled to remove the emotional flavor of what she was about to say and lowered her gaze. “That night at the hospital…I…Teddy was so sweet. I wanted to hold him forever, and so would every other normal woman,” she added as if she needed to defend a moment of weakness. “You haven’t touched your coffee. I’ll heat it,” she said, changing the subject and, she hoped, the tenor of the conversation.

“Thanks, but I don’t want any coffee. I want you, and I want us to see if we can make a go of this. Are you willing?” He was standing then, holding his arms wide, and she jumped up and sprang into them.

“There’s been no one else since the first time I saw you,” he said as his arms enfolded her. She stroked his cheek with loving hands, caressing and adoring him as he gazed down into her face.
Don’t hide what you feel,
her head told her.
He needs to know that you adore him.

“And there’s been no one for me, Ashton.”

He gazed down at her until the hot fire of desire roared through her, turning her limbs to liquid. He continued to stare at her, beguiling her with the lover’s promise that raged in his eyes. She wanted to tell him to take her that minute, right there, but when she parted her lips, no words came and he plunged his tongue into her, rocking her senses. Her body recognized the touch of his fingers as they roamed over her back and buttocks, and responded to his loving. Her breasts, heavy and tight, begged for the warm tugging of his mouth, and she grasped his right hand, placed it on her left breast and sucked feverously on his tongue.

“What do you want? Tell me,” he said.

“You know what I want. I need to feel your mouth on me. Honey, please!”

He freed her breast, pinched and rubbed it, toying with her while he twirled his tongue in her mouth. Frustrated by his denial of what he knew she wanted, she gripped his belt buckle, and getting no response, she slipped her hand lower and caressed him. His body jerked as if she’d sent a shot of electricity through him. He lifted her, lowered his head and sucked her nipple into his mouth, sending her blood on a mad rush to her loins.

“Ashton. Oh, Lord.” He sucked vigorously as if he loved it, pulling her deeper into his mouth. She let out a keening cry. “Get into me now. I need you. I want you in me.”

He picked her up and carried her to bed.

He could no longer deny it; he belonged to her as he was now certain that Felicia Parker belonged to him. He looked down into the face of the sated woman lying beneath him and knew that she was his morning sunrise and his evening shade. He’d have to learn to adjust to her public life, because he didn’t see how he could live without her. Yet he wasn’t ready to cross that final bridge. He didn’t understand his hesitancy, and especially not after what they had just shared, but he believed in following his lights.

“I’m not going to see any other women, and I don’t want you with any other man. I want us to see if we have what it takes to make a life together, and I don’t mean shacking up. Will you agree to that?”

“Yes.”

“And until this controversy about your column blows over, is it understood that you’ll accept the car and bodyguard whenever you step outside?”

“All right. It will never sit well with me, but I suppose it’s for the best.”

She wasn’t going to like what he was about to say, but he couldn’t help it. “Will you understand if I leave now? I have a nine-thirty meeting this morning, and I need to make some notes first. I’ll make up for it. I promise.”

With her hands at the back of his head, she brought his lips to hers. “Is everything all right between us?”

“As far as I can see. What about you?” he asked, wondering what had prompted her question.

“I’m happy. Call me tomorrow.”

He was almost happy. If the uncertainty about Dream didn’t pester him daily, he could coast on his achievements at least long enough to enjoy a two-week vacation somewhere with Felicia. By three o’clock that morning, he’d prepared himself as well as he could for the board meeting and by ten-thirty he was satisfied that the board stood with him one hundred percent in his fight with Barber-Smith. He adjourned the meeting and got busy familiarizing himself with the individual Skate newspapers.

He’d barely begun when his secretary brought him an indictment from a woman named Roma Jones, who claimed to have sustained a rash and other facial blemishes from use of the cream that made Dream famous and a bestseller. He sat at his desk, dumbfounded, wondering when life would stop screwing him. One day, he’d get a blessing, and the very next day, he would receive a curse.

“We’ll fight it in court,” Cade told him when they spoke. “Looks like there’s no end to the calamities you can get in business. I just spent an hour teaching a mad-as-hell customer how to get a computer working, and while I was doing that, I lost a good half a million dollars and a new client who didn’t have the patience to wait until I taught Miss Dufus how to start her computer. Have you called Damon about that suit?”

“I left a message on his cell phone. I’ll talk with you later.” He telephoned Felicia, knowing that her voice would raise his spirits. “I hope you slept well,” he said. “I did, but my peace of mind was short-lived.” He told her about the civil suit.

“Wait a minute. You’re not going to take her word for it, are you?”

“What do you mean? If she’s got skin blemishes, we don’t know how she looked before.”

“I’m sure your lawyer will tell you this. Have her take a skin test, and make sure it’s administered by an independent chemist or other person. She’s got to prove that. Some people will do and say anything for money.”

“I didn’t think of that. I’ll get onto it right away. I haven’t spoken with Damon about it yet, because he hasn’t returned my call, but I won’t wait for him. This is too important. I’m in your debt.”

“No you aren’t,” she said. “What hurts you hurts me. Talk later. Kisses.”

“I love you,” he said, and hung up.

When Damon returned his call, Ashton told his brother what Felicia suggested.

“Absolutely,” Damon said. “I wouldn’t think of taking her word for it. Fax me a copy of the papers, and I’ll get right on it.”