KATE GOSSELIN: HOW SHE FOOLED THE WORLD - THE RISE AND FALL OF A REALITY TV QUEEN (63 page)

“I had planned the dinner for after the babies went to bed, and a neighbor came over to sit while they were sleeping.”

“We had a plane to catch to Florida, and there we were stuck in the snow.”

“Jodi and Kevin have 4 kids of their own, and Cara and Mady really love spending time with their cousins.” (or something like this)

“So Jodi helped them bake cobweb cookies and meringue puffs” (is that what they were?)

Perhaps they were technically not “scripted” in the strictest sense of the word if the definition of “scripted” is that they were given a “script” of what they were supposed to say throughout the entire show. But even that is a lie, since each episode did, in fact, come with a printed list of “voice-over” narrations for Kate and Jon to read so they could be edited into the show for continuity.

The best way to describe the show is that it was totally scheduled with story lines planned in advance by Discovery and TLC. Kate was given her schedule for the week to let her know where her family would be going, what her family would be doing, and even what her children would be playing with. I have many original “weekly shooting schedules” and itineraries that are detailed, down-to-the-minute instructions for the family to follow with the crew in tow. There was absolutely nothing “organic,” normal, or natural about the Gosselin children being filmed.

The “interview” segment of the
Jon & Kate Plus Ei8ht
shows served as a great vehicle to squash any rumors or criticism that may have been present in the media regarding the show. It was mainly during the “Q&A” or “Viewer Emails” segments when they did their best work at “setting the record straight.”

During one such segment, a producer asked Jon and Kate this question: “Would you say that the show that we do is realistic?”

Why would they even have to ask that question if not to quell the rumors? Here’s Kate’s “scripted” response:

Kate: “Yes. It’s very realistic. There’s no scripting. There’s a plan about this is what we want to get.” She then added: “Right, that’s important for us to let people know we aren’t hiding anything. Our goal is to show people how hard this job is.”

Then Jon said: “Our crew follows us …”

And Kate quickly interrupted with: “Whatever we do and how we do it.”

Kate then continued: “Our goal is to make reality television, so that doesn’t mean we’re going to guard what we’re saying because that wouldn’t be real life. If I started to change into this hmm, hmm, hmm (Kate rolls her eyes) person, then why film it cause it’s not our life.”

HIDE AND SEEK

While reporting for
U
S
Weekly
, a Gosselin nanny told me this:

“Back when TLC was filming the show, it was a filming day and the kids were playing and they were told by the crew to come outside to film a staged event. The kids were having fun and didn’t want to film so they all hid at different places in the house and wouldn’t come out. The crew had to go searching for them and the producer was getting very angry because they were wasting time and Kate became irate and started screaming at them to “get outside now or else!”

The kids hated having to film and the only time they had any fun was when they went on special trips and got to do exciting things like see the battle ship and go to the dude ranch. They hate filming at home. Kate tries to bribe them to be good for the cameras and when that doesn’t work, she turns to threats. She has no idea how much damage she’s doing to these little kids. She just worries about being famous.”

On April 5, 2011, while on a promotional tour for the new season of
Kate Plus Ei8ht
, Kate sat down with Joy Behar for an interview. It was the same Kate Gosselin, repeating the same scripted talking points. It’s funny to watch all of her interviews over the years, and hear her say the exact same thing, with the exact same tone of voice, with the exact same head bobs and mannerisms and fake smiles. How would that be possible unless she had rehearsed it with her “media trainer” over and over and over again?

Joy Behar: “What is it about you that provokes this kind of negative attack? What is it?”

Kate: “I don’t know, um, I’m still trying to figure that out. I know that, um, there’s a lot of single moms out there, I have more than the average number of kids, um, this is something that Jon and I started together, and it was working then, um, it’s still working for me and the kids now, and, um, we’re all happy doing it, I’m working, they’re running in and out of the frame and if they want to run off and not do what we’re doing, they don’t. If they don’t wanna go along they don’t.”

Yeah, ask Mady if that’s how it worked when she begged to not go on the “amazing adventure” to Alaska.

THE CREW IS PART OF OUR FAMILY

“If someone knocked on your door tomorrow and said, this really great group of dads was gonna come, hang out with your family and film you doing whatever…would they really shut the door and walk away?”

On
The Talk
, which aired in February 2011, Kate and Discovery were in full spin mode doing damage control about the questions that were out there regarding Kate not having any close family around the kids and the kids having to be “working” constantly.

Kate said, “The kids came to me and said mommy, when’s our crew coming back? They missed them. I, and I waited for that and I waited, and they came and asked, it was a, it was a normalcy for them. It was a comfort, these guys when the cameras are off, they’re dads, they’re helping us, they play games with the kids, they read books to em, I mean, this is family to us.”

Then the interviewer, Julie Chen, asked Kate, “But then, what happens when that goes away cause there will come a day when that all goes away?”

And Kate responded, “But the people won’t go away cause we’ll stay in contact with them forever. They have truly, we’ve made deep, lifelong friendships, I mean you have to remember, these people have traveled with us as well … they’re like a part of us.”

I wonder if the crew knows that. From what I’ve been told by a crew member who has chosen to remain anonymous, filming Kate Gosselin was one of the most unpleasant experiences of his life. He said, “She treats us like shit. She treats the kids like shit. She’s rude to everyone. Nothing surprises me anymore with her.”

This love-fest of a family portrait Kate tried to paint contradicts what she told Oprah Winfrey regarding the film crew during an interview in March 2009. Kate said at the time, “The crew changes so often at this point, and, we’re seeing a lot of different people, which I once was not comfortable with, but over here you’ll see Mike. He’s the only one left from the very beginning.”

Apparently, the crew really was like Kate’s family; none of them are left from the very beginning either.

Kate
said she had made deep, lifelong friendships with this great crew of dads, who played games with her kids and read to them. She loved this crew “family” so much, in fact, that she made up a special set of rules just for them. If the crew members were such a beloved part of her family, why would Kate treat them any differently than she treated Jon and the kids? Here are Kate’s “New House Rules” for the crew.

New House Rules

-
        
This home address is NEVER to be discussed or written down. Directions to this house are not to be discussed either.

-
        
Specific door use- side double doors on left side of house- enters into basement-
no other doors in house to be used by crew members AT ALL please
.

-
        
Absolutely no smoking or drinking alcohol on our entire property (or on the road in front of our house).

-
        
Turn lights off in apt and house every time you leave a room- no exceptions

-
        
Approved bathroom for crew use is in apartment. This is the ONLY bathroom for crew usage. (do not use bathrooms in house please)

-
        
No shoes in house or apt at any time. Shoe booties (that have NOT been worn outside!) or no shoes. Period.

-
        
Please leave thermostat in apartment where it is. When leaving, turn down to 66 degrees. Thermostat will be set to a temp- and should not be changed please.

-
        
Use trash cans for all trash. Please remove all trash from apartment and place in outside  trash cans everyday and before leaving at the end of each shoot.

-
        
Place all towels (if applicable) in specified area before leaving.

-
        
Absolutely no eating/ drinking in our house
.... All food/ drinks need to remain in apartment.

-
        
Completely Close doors!!!! Every time and quickly!! No exceptions.

-
        
Please knock before entering our house-DO NOT just walk in!!!

-
        
Crew equipment storage- all equipment should be stored in crew purchased storage box in first bay of garage. Make all equipment fit and close and lock door before leaving shoot. NO equipment should remain in apartment as we will be using apt for guests between shoots.

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Do not leave trash or any equipment behind in our house. A walk through by a PA should be done at the end of each shoot to ensure that all equipment/ trash was collected.

-
        
Do not help yourself to tools, our equipment etc. (including product placement items) Please ask before using things that are not yours.

-
        
Please remember, this is not a 'set' (or a college dorm!)-- its our home!!!! We are very proud of this house, please treat it with care!!!!!!!

Kate sent an email to Wendy Douglas of Discovery telling her that “anytime the film crew is present Jon and or I need to also be present to let them into the house and to oversee. Therefore, I am requesting that the schedule be revised to reflect this.”

If the crew was like family and she trusted them to be alone with her children,
why wouldn’t she also trust them to be at her house without her or Jon there to “oversee” them? Kate trusted contractors to be in her home alone, but not her “family,” the crew?

Kate repeated over and over that having the crew around and the constant filming was a “normalcy” for her children. There was another time in history when children were subjected to this same kind of “normalcy.” If you Google “Dionne Quintuplets,” you will learn how five little girls were exploited and put on display like animals in a zoo. Here is some information about them from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionne_quintuplets):