Kept (23 page)

“You know the answer to that question, Natalya. Even I know she wouldn’t take the news well.”

I didn’t need to ask any more. Still, my relationship with Nick felt like something I needed.

“What if this wizard made me feel good about myself? Even with all my quirks. What if this man is the perfect friend and makes me forget, albeit briefly, about what I can’t have with Thorn?”

She patted my hand. “Then you need to make a choice, depending on what makes you happy. I know you love your mother and wouldn’t want to do anything to disappoint her. But you shouldn’t give up a good friend.”

I shook my head. “If I had a choice, I would’ve chosen Thorn a long time ago. But I can’t have him.”

She snorted. “Who says so? I’ve been through enough to know that the path before any woman makes unexpected turns.”

I took her words to heart, and I wished everything could be that simple.

“Of course, having the attention of more than one man is
never
a bad thing for a woman. Especially if one of them has deep pockets and a good nature. A strong back doesn’t hurt either, if you know what I mean.”

“Grandma!”

“You think I didn’t have my share of admirers before I married my Pyotr?” Her old eyes danced mischievously. “Since you’re young, you don’t see what I see quite clearly. One of them was made for your heart, and the other was made for your soul.”

I opened my mouth to ask her what she meant, but Auntie Yelena entered the kitchen again. When she didn’t leave, I knew that, for now, I wouldn’t get a clear answer from her.

Chapter 17

A
n
evening at home to recover should have been the best medicine. I was exhausted and I’d had a revelation about Nick that knocked me down so hard, I wondered if I’d ever get back up. But, naturally, with a family that lived on celebrations, my hot date with my bed didn’t happen.

Not long after walking through the door, Aggie took me right back out.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Aggie snorted and dragged me back out to the car. “Oh, stop grumbling. Something good is about to happen, for once.”

My best friend took the wheel while I sat on the passenger side with my arms crossed. Visions of my fluffy pillows and stacks of ornaments came to mind as the scenery passed by. This
trip
better be an improvement over stroking a nutcracker, drinking hot cocoa, and staring in a trance at the wall.

Ten minutes later, I noticed we’d reached South Toms River’s main street. We pulled up along the curb—right in front of Barney’s. I hadn’t eaten here in a while. Before Aggie started bringing home leftovers from here on the days she worked, I used to grab a fresh sandwich and supersized green pickle. I took in the familiar green awning over the windows, the festive lights around
them. The place brought back fond, yet sad, memories of how I used to always be alone.

“Hey, time to get some chow.”

I stepped out of the car and followed Aggie inside. This place seemed to make her more comfortable than it did me. Especially since she was a part-time manager here. Not long after she arrived at my doorstep, Aggie had quickly run out of dough and found herself needing a job. As the daughter of a socialite with a college education, she’d expected to get some kind of white-collar position. But thanks to an application I’d submitted for her, Aggie happily became the newest employee of Barney’s Pickles.

I took no more than a couple steps inside before I heard the ruckus of laughter and conversation from inside the private party room.

We walked past the main dining area, filled with dark wood tables and country blue chairs. The place hadn’t changed since I’d last been there—it still had the rustic feel of a countryside kitchen. Even the staff behind the counter had a welcome-home-dear smile on their faces and freshly pressed aprons that matched the color of the chairs. The flashing Christmas lights just added to the ambience.

The noises from the back room grew louder, drawing my attention.

“What did you do?” I asked with a feigned groan.

“Your aunts and I just planned a little something, that’s all.”

As we walked into the private dining room, I whispered to her, “Be careful, you might start looking responsible to them.”

She laughed. “Way too late for that.”

The room was filled to capacity. All around me were smiling faces—except for one. When I caught the gaze of Auntie Yelena, I wanted to frown back at her, but I
smiled instead. Why not enjoy this moment and show her I was happy?

“Good to see you came home, Nat.” Uncle Boris was the first one to reach my side, giving me a pat on the shoulder. The bad one—again.

“I’m glad to be home,” I said, smiling through the pain.

More family members approached me, nearly all with hugs and kisses. I’d never before experienced such a display of affection from them. Each looked me in the eye and addressed me with respect.

Then one of my young cousins stepped up to me and asked, “What was it like to kill Roscoe?”

Huh?

My mouth wobbled, and I looked around for help. His father took the boy and directed him back to their table. “Sorry,” my uncle mumbled, “rumors have been spreading around pretty quickly.”

“That one definitely isn’t true,” I said.

My aunt Olga, a former Russian beauty queen who always knew how to dress for a party, stood decked out in a gorgeous yellow knee-length dress. She directed me to a free seat at one of the tables. “Let her eat, everyone. She has plenty of time for us to show her how grateful we are.”

Of course, they didn’t listen to her. While I sat munching on a turkey and Swiss sandwich, every relative who hadn’t already greeted me—except for Auntie Yelena—came by to say hello. Most thanked me, while others wanted more details about what I’d experienced. At first all their attention seemed nice, but it didn’t take long for it to get overwhelming. The weakness I’d experienced earlier hadn’t backed down that much.

Just when I thought I’d had enough of the party, a new pair showed up at the doorway: Thorn and Erica. Thank goodness I didn’t have anything in my mouth. The giant
green pickle in my hand plopped down onto my plate, hit the floor, and then proceeded to roll under the table, however. I moved to retrieve it, but one of my aunts came to the rescue.

Ever the well-mannered lady, Aunt Olga spouted, “Greet your guest, Natalya.”

With Erica standing there, her arm clenched around Thorn’s, I didn’t even want to offer them a potato chip. My legs also refused to react, making it difficult to take action. Since I didn’t move, Thorn and Erica came my way. As the consort-to-be of the next alpha, Erica actually just trailed after Thorn—even when he shrugged her arm off.

Once they were up close, I saw that Thorn’s smile was warm—but Erica’s presence dampened my happiness. Out of respect for Thorn, my gaze went to the floor before it shifted to look at his face. And suddenly I felt bitter. What kind of man took advantage of my moment to further remind me of what I couldn’t have anymore?

From my line of sight into the main dining room, it didn’t take long to spot the culprit. A pretty brunette in an expensive coat sat at a table with a man I didn’t know, eating her dinner. I knew the woman’s face quite well, since I usually spied it whenever I saw Erica: Becky Knoll. The two made quite the pair of money-spending-no-job-having chicks. And now that Erica wanted to be on Thorn’s tail all the time, Becky acted as lookout to make sure her best friend stayed by his side.

“Hey, you,” Thorn said.

The words bounced around my head before slamming into my heart. We used to greet each other like that a long time ago. Even though we weren’t together anymore, hadn’t been for a long time, they still had meaning to me.

Thorn continued. “I heard from Will about your party and thought I’d stop by.”

A quick glance at the smirk on Erica’s face told me her wordless greeting,
And I tagged along, since luckily I heard about it from Becky!

Well, isn’t that
swell
.

Most people would’ve shrugged any negativity off and invited the couple to sit down and enjoy the festivities. But I’d been bitten on the shoulder, attacked by imps, and threatened by the mafia. Colorful bruises kept popping up on my body. So, now, after all this drama, the only thing that came out of my mouth was an incoherent stutter. “H-hi … W-welcome.”

Thorn frowned. “You okay?” He took a step toward me.

Erica’s hand snapped out faster than my eye could follow it. “She’s fine, Thorn.”

Finally, I found my voice. “Thanks for coming. Go ahead and get some food.”

There, that wasn’t so bad. Even though I did sound like a damn robot. But the others around me didn’t seem to care. I’d done the polite thing and greeted my new guests.

When Thorn moved to the long table with the food, I’d hoped he’d take some and just leave. That he wouldn’t claim the free spot not far from me. That his date wouldn’t need a seat and force one of my aunts to move to accommodate her. And finally, that his presence wouldn’t turn such a great night into a painful one.

After Thorn and Erica sat down side by side, the food didn’t taste as good. Barney’s had the best quality deli meat. But now the turkey had gone bland and the bread had a staleness that wasn’t there before. When a cousin came by to chat, I wondered if I was truly paying attention to her. Or was my mind somewhere else? Even though my head was turned away from Thorn and Erica, I could still see them from the corner of my eye. Erica’s subtle move to shift her arm near his. Her left leg crossed to bring her right one closer to his. All the while, Thorn
ate his food and engaged in conversation with the men at the table. They seemed like a regular couple enjoying a meal together.

Thankfully, my dad soon distracted me. He stood and tapped his fork against his glass to get everyone’s attention. I smiled. His bruises had faded a bit, and he appeared to be in a good mood.

“I’m glad that everyone could come today to congratulate my daughter,” he said. His powerful voice quieted everyone. “A long time ago, back when I was courting Anna, I remember seeing her standing at a flower shop. The place was run-down—not in the best neighborhood, since this was the Brooklyn from the days many of you weren’t alive to see.”

As expected, my aunts and uncles nodded with understanding.

“My Anna told me she always stopped there to try to find a particular flower she favored—lilies. Since I was a man who was willing to work to find a good wife, I showed up as early as I could to buy her all the lilies she wanted, but what I found at the shop wasn’t what I expected.”

I turned to see Mom, quiet and smiling shyly from her spot not far from me. I’d never heard this story before, but the look on her face made me feel good.

Dad continued. “From the front counter, I saw Anna in the back, cooking dinner for the owner’s family. I didn’t say a word for a few minutes as she tended to their children and cooked the stew. Later that night, I returned. After I cornered her outside of the owner’s house, I learned she’d been working nights to pay back a moon debt for her late Uncle Vladimir. That she’d made her own sacrifice after hours of long work scrubbing floors to help her family.” Dad waited for everyone to absorb the meaning of his words.

Not a single person looked away from him.

“It was at that moment I realized she’d make a good wife, a good mother. My daughter Natalya is the same. She has the same tenacity. The same fire for her kin. She bravely left with her brother and made a stand to protect the Stravinsky name. Even after Sasha was called home, Natalya made the choice to think of her family first. All you young pups should remember this day and know that you too can be honorable for your family.” He raised his glass of water toward me.

“To Natalya!”

Cheers of congratulations came my way. Thorn stood and began to applaud. Erica reluctantly joined him with a halfhearted clap. Soon everyone was on their feet, cheering me. By the time they’d settled back into their seats, I was heady from their kindness. I didn’t have the respect and admiration of all the South Toms River pack, but the Stravinskys would make do just fine.

The pleasant vibe in the room lasted for a little while. Then Erica Holden opened her mouth and spoiled it.

“Are you sure we can’t have a real wedding?” Erica asked out of the blue.

I kept my focus on my food, but I immediately detected the flick of Thorn’s eyes in my direction. He’d just finished a bite of his sandwich, so he wiped off his mouth with a napkin and then tossed it onto his plate.

He tried to keep his voice low, but every wolf in the room could hear him. “This isn’t the time or the place, Erica. I already told you no.”

“You can’t keep avoiding the question.” She leaned forward, and her voice rose a bit. “My father has business associates who are expecting an invitation of some kind. To an expensive event at a nice place. After all, they’ve worked hard with Dad to pay the pack’s debts.”

From the way Thorn sighed, I suspected this wasn’t a new conversation. She must be rubbing salt in his
wounds every day, reminding him of his obligation to the pack.

“Just because this is an arranged marriage doesn’t mean I should get shortchanged. I’m just as exasperated as you are.” She reached out and touched his hand as if to console him. It was like a hungry snake comforting a mouse. “It’ll take time, but soon enough we’ll be able to show our true feelings.”

“Okay, you’ve had your fun. We’re going now.” Thorn stood—leaving Erica looking dumbfounded. She hadn’t touched a single thing on her plate. Before standing, Erica shot me a heated glare and then hurried to follow Thorn. For me, their retreating backs were both a welcome and disappointing sight.

At the doorway, though, Thorn turned briefly. He didn’t look my way, but I heard him say faintly, “See you ’round, Nat.”

I closed my eyes. Heard their footsteps walk out. Heard the restaurant door open and close. Beyond that there was nothing else.

The temptation to stand and follow them was overwhelming. How long had it been since I’d seen Thorn? A few days? How much longer will I be such a sad, lovesick fool?