Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (29 page)

I lied to Teagan. I think. Maybe.

I already told you that you deserve a guy who'll put you first, somebody that loves you more than they love football—or themselves.

Could I have been any harsher? Seriously? Even if that was true, something I wasn't so sure of right now, I didn't have to blurt it out there, watch it settle on her already damaged features and let her fall apart.

That thought haunted me all the way through our two and a half hour practice, into the locker room, outside to Kai's car.

“You want to hit New Intentions up?” he asked me as he unlocked the doors and we climbed in. “A couple girls from my sociology class are heading over there to party, and, Tyce, when I say these ladies are hot, I'm not doing them any justice. All three of them are from Texas, and they've got this southern twang when they talk … and you're not listening to me at all.”

“Not really, no,” I told him, turning in my seat and leaning back against the door as he peeled out of the parking lot like he was on fire. “Do you ever really say anything important when you talk?”

“Fair point. If you were just being a prick, I'd be cool with it. But you're not. You're acting really weird again. I can't tell if you're going to cry or kill somebody.”

“I haven't cried since I was seven,” I told him, and I knew he believed me. Kai ran a hand through his blond hair and raised a thick brow at me.

“So it's her again then, Teagan. Why didn't you tell me you were inviting her to a game?”

“Why should I? She's a friend of mine, practically family. Your cousin comes to like half our games and you don't warn me. You know he tries to get me into bed every time we go out.”

“Considering the effect that women seem to have on you, maybe you should consider going gay.”

“Not women,” I said firmly, know this was pure truth. “Woman. Just the one. I can't figure her out, and I can't figure myself out when I'm around her.” Kai's icy blue eyes stared out the front window as rain started to fall from the sky like God had just torn open a big tarp or something, sent all of it streaming down in a thick wet burst. “We fucked at the game yesterday.”

“You … wait,
what?
” Kai choked out as he took a turn so hard that I slammed into the glass on the passenger door. Jesus Christ. “When? Where?”

“In the tunnel, after the final whistle.”

Kai blinked several times in shock, sliding his fingers up his stubbled throat.

“Holy shit, Winship. You are
boss.
How … in full pads?”

“Yup. I made it work,” I told him as he started to laugh. “When it needs to happen, I make it happen.”

Kai continued to laugh at me, but I didn't join in. None of this was fucking funny to me. I reached out and punched him in the shoulder—
hard.

“Ow, Jesus. Look, I'm sorry but … that's pretty cool. I never thought to actually pick chicks up
during
the game. Are you in love with her or something?”

Several heartbeats passed without an answer from me.

“Okay, then. That's a yes.”

“I don't know.”

“Too late, you're already screwed. So you love her, okay. What are you going to do about it? Not go out to the club with me and fuck a hot southern chick, I'm sure. Although maybe that would make you feel better?”

“Or make me feel like I'm kicking Teagan in the ovaries. The thing is, I don't want to fuck anyone else.”

“I've noticed. Have you been celibate since you ran into that girl or something?”

I gave him a look that said this was a subject better left dropped. He ignored me. The perks of being an only child, I guess. Technically, I was one, too, but I was anything but privileged, spoiled and pampered.

“If you like her so damn much, why don't you just, like, date her or something?”

It sounded so stupid simple when he said it like that.

But I was a goddamn idiot first and everything else second.

“Take me to the club,” I told him and watched as he pursed his lips tight in disapproval. That coming from a guy who defined the word
slut.
I felt a hundred times worse, but I didn't change my mind.

I went to the club; I got drunk; I danced; I let a girl kiss me on the neck in a booth.

I felt sick.

And then I went home and slept in my dorm room—alone.

The next morning after practice, I texted Teagan and asked what she was up to.

'About to head out to Melia's,'
she said as I licked the sweat from my lower lip, standing buck naked in the gunmetal gray of the locker room. It took a freaking biometric thumbprint to get in here, yet that did nothing to keep out the trash.

I looked up to find Mason Fenna smirking at me. I returned the look with my darkest glare and debated the merits of beating the shit out of him. It would feel good, but it'd probably get me booted off the team. Or at least suspended. Couldn't afford that with the season winding down, the draft coming up in January. I was
this
freaking close.

“You have a problem with me or something?” I asked him instead, but he didn't stop smiling, just shrugged his shoulders and pretended like I didn't have a way bigger dick. Spending this much time in a locker room, things were bound to be noticed. I was packing; Mason better pray he was just a late bloomer.

“No problem,” he said, lifting up his hands like I was a goddamn crazy person. Maybe when it came to Teagan, I was? Meanwhile, Kirk stood off to the side with Kai and pretended not to be watching. Okay, well Kirk had enough decency to pretend. Kai, not so much.

“I don't know what your problem with Mason is. I've never seen you two have a thing. Something you're not telling me?”

“Mason's a dick,” I told him, but Kai just shrugged his broad shoulders.

“But so are you, and we still hang out. Besides,
dick
is only one letter away from
Duck.
”

“Shut the fuck up, Kai,” I told him, pounding out a message with my thumbs that I wasn't entirely sure I wasn't going to regret. But this weekend, we were headed to Utah for a game, and I felt like I needed to see Teagan before we left. If I didn't, something would break between us. I knew that.

'Can I come?'

I stood there, buck naked, while the guys changed around me, and waited.

'She's the one with a crazy crush on you, remember? And she saw your sex tape.

'Is that a no?'

'It's an
if you want
.'

'Then I want,'
I sent back, tucking my phone into my bag and throwing on my own clothes. A few minutes later, Teagan texted me the address, and I stole Kai's car keys.

I wanted to pick Teagan up, so we'd have time to talk, but I guess she had the opposite idea because she walked to Melia's house before I even left the locker room. When I got there, I didn't even have to knock before the front door was wrenched open and that girl from the Halloween party was smiling up at me.

She was pretty, bronzed skin with dark hair and brown eyes, but it was like there was this gray filter over her—over every girl. I felt myself smiling anyway, a wicked dirty smile that I didn't mean, that pissed Teagan off the second Melia stepped back and she saw me.

“Tyce,” she said tightly, like she was already regretting inviting me over here. The violent lightning was back in her face again, shattered purple and white streaks of hatred. The shock of what I'd said to her was still flittering across her skin, cutting her into a thousand tiny pieces.
I'm horrible. I'm so horrible. I'm a monster, and I don't know how to stop.

“We're so excited to have you here,” Melia chattered, welcoming me into the cluttered cave of her apartment. It was packed with stuff, hanging plants from every corner of the ceiling, side by side bookshelves covered in knickknacks, the smell of weed and patchouli mixing in the air. “Teagan's told us
sooo
much about you. Plus, I mean, we've been watching the games since you became a Duck.”

“Thanks,” I said, but I wasn't really paying attention when she introduced me to another girl, a blonde with dreadlocks hanging halfway to her waist. While Melia talked, I stared at Teagan's fiery red hair frothing around her face. I studied the smoky shadow around her eyes, the lined lips, the burgundy wash of her color of her full, lush mouth. Instead of doing rainbows or vines or galaxies, her makeup was classic night out perfection.

My heart throbbed painfully.

“We were thinking of just hanging out and drinking, maybe smoking a little. But now that we've got a handsome escort, maybe we should go out?” Melia asked, raising her two arched brows at me. Her eyes raked over the unzipped sweater and t-shirt I was wearing like I was made of gold.

“I'm fine hanging out here.” I shrugged my shoulders with my fingers stuck in the pockets. “I partied a little crazy last night anyway.” I watched Teagan for a reaction and noticed her shoulders tightening as she leaned into her phone like she had something really important to do.

“Well,” Melia said, putting her palm on the chest of my white t-shirt. “I won't complain about having the Ducks star QB in my house, that's for sure. Sit down, put your feet up, and I'll get you something to drink.”

“Thanks,” I said as she moved into the kitchen and left me alone with Teagan and the blonde. I studied my childhood friend for a moment, the tight fitting black Ducks tank she was wearing, the way the red strap of her bra hung out the side a little on the right. One leg was propped up on the couch, a pair of black sweats shoved up above her knees, the sneakers I'd bought her on her feet.

If she'd been wearing a skintight dress or a bikini I wouldn't have found her any sexier than I did in that moment.

“Mind if I sit here?” I asked as I moved over next to her and plopped down on the center cushion of the lumpy old couch. There were rugs piled all over the floor, covered in beanbags and random chairs. This must be where they all sat to watch the games.

“There's a whole other cushion on that end,” Teagan told me as Melia cursed and the blonde sighed, moving into the kitchen to see what was up. Leaving us alone. I pushed my thigh against Teagan's and waited for her to look up from her phone. She was texting someone, but I couldn't see who.

“Are you pissed at me?” Her face lifted up from her phone like it was in slow motion.

“Are you … joking?” she asked, raising both brows. And then, “oh, no. Not pissed. Just … processing things. It's hard to hear somebody say the things you did yesterday. But I'll get over it. Really, I just need a while.”

“I didn't say those things to hurt you,” I told her, but maybe that was a lie. Maybe I wanted Teagan to get hurt, to run from me since I was too stuck on her to do the same. I knew I couldn't have her, or that I shouldn't, or whatever, but it was impossible to stay away. “I just wanted you to know the truth. You deserve that at least.”

“Why are you even here, Tyce?”

“I thought we'd agreed to stay friends?” I asked, but Teagan just focused even harder on her phone. Her breath was heaving in and out, and her thigh was so warm against mine I was having trouble thinking.

“Bad news,” Melia said, coming back into the living room and moving around to the front of the couch. She was wearing a pair of leggings with frogs on them and a baggy black tee. It was a weird combo for sure. “I forgot that my brother and his friends were here last night. They drank me dry. I'm gonna have to run to the store to grab some more beer. You guys cool with that?”

“Yeah, of course,” Teagan said with a smile, looking up. I wished that smile was for me right now.
Shit.
“Do you want me to give you some money? I think I have a ten in my wallet.”

“I'll pay,” I said, sitting up and pulling my own out. I grabbed the last few twenties I had and handed them over to Melia with another one of my smug ass smiles, the ones I couldn't control, the ones I tried to used on Teagan the first night I'd run into her. It was a defense mechanism I think, or maybe it was just as natural to me as breathing?

“I'll drive,” the blonde said, twisting her dreads up into a bun on the top of her head. “I need to stop by my place and grab my laptop. If I'm getting drunk, I'm staying the night, and I have some homework I need to get done.”