Killing Monica (22 page)

“Well, you’re going to be a very rich woman.”

Pandy smirked as she refilled her glass, wondering if PP knew about all the money Jonny had taken from her.

“But what about Jonny?” she asked. “What about all that money Pandy supposedly owes him in the settlement?”

“Oh, jeez.
That
,” PP said. “Jonny is a bit of a problem, and believe me, I understand. But eventually he’ll go away. And in the meantime, we’re planning to make lots and lots of Monica movies.”

“More Monica!” Pandy said with false cheer.

PP patted her on the shoulder. “As I said, eventually you’ll be a very rich woman. Thank God for Monica, right?” he added as Judy came through the door.

Pandy sighed.

Judy turned to Pandy. “Hellenor? Can I bring you back to the suite? SondraBeth will be down to see you in ten.”

Back in the basement, Pandy flopped onto the bed. She turned on the TV, figuring she might as well catch up on her so-called death while she was waiting for SondraBeth.

It was the usual news loop: a live report from the San Geronimo festival, and then there it was, an update on her demise: PJ Wallis, creator of Monica, reported dead in a tragic fire at her childhood home in Wallis, Connecticut.

And suddenly, there
she
was on the screen…with
Jonny
at a black-tie event—the same event where SondraBeth had warned her against him. And she was so naïve that she was actually
smiling
…

The screen cut to a close-up of a fan laying a pink plastic champagne glass on an already large pile that also contained stuffed animals. The camera pulled back to reveal her building.

“Hundreds of fans gathered outside her apartment…”

“No!” Pandy shouted at the TV. This could not be happening. Her so-called death was not supposed to be her next big moment. Her next big moment was supposed to have been about her new book,
Lady Wallis
. And there he was again: the cause of all this trouble—Jonny.

Now he was pushing through the crowd outside her building, trying to get in. Pandy groaned. Of course he would know that Pandy had left the Monica rights to Hellenor. His lawyers had been over every single one of her contracts with a fine-tooth comb.

Jonny would know that if Hellenor decided to execute her rights, there would be no more Monica—and no more money for Jonny.

And now Jonny knew Hellenor could ruin him.

A
S PROMISED,
we’re going back live to the San Geronimo festival,” said the voice from the screen.

Right now, Jonny must be furious
, Pandy thought gleefully. And for a second, she was happy. Then she looked back at the monitor. Three young women were jumping up and down and screaming, raising glasses of pink champagne to Monica.

“Hellenor?” Judy’s voice came over the intercom. “SondraBeth in one.”

“Thanks,” Pandy said. Remembering that Jonny’s fury over her supposed death would be short-lived, she went out into the living room. The suite had a damp smell, as if someone had just turned on the air-conditioning. It was still stuffy, so Pandy tugged open the window.

The view was of a small stairwell. Pandy heard voices and stuck her head out.

SondraBeth’s back was to her. She was having a heated discussion with a rubbery-faced man in a T-shirt. SondraBeth said something and the man laughed, his man-boobs jiggling under the fabric.

Pandy frowned, recognizing the man’s voice. He was Freddie the Rat, part of the old Joules crowd. Apparently SondraBeth had remained in touch with him.

Pandy withdrew her head. She heard a short knock and went to the door.

SondraBeth was standing on the threshold. She had changed her outfit, and was now wearing high-tech white workout gear with silver piping. In each hand was a shopping bag bearing the Monica logo.

“Hellenor,” she said, striding into the room.

Oh no.
Pandy sighed.
Not this again
. She clomped to the door in Hellenor’s old construction boots and shut it firmly behind her. “Squeege,” she began.

“I’m
so
glad you’re here,” SondraBeth said warmly.

“I’m glad
you’re
here, too,” Pandy said as SondraBeth turned away to head into the bedroom. “I’ve been waiting for you,” Pandy said, annoyed. “We need to clear some things up. Like the fact that I’m—”

“I don’t have long.” SondraBeth dropped the shopping bags on the bed and gave Pandy her most brilliant Monica smile. “There’s been a change of plans. The Woman Warrior of the Year Awards are today, and thanks to your sister’s sudden death, they want me to present the award to you.”

“To
me
?” Pandy gasped. She looked at SondraBeth. Was it possible SondraBeth really didn’t know she was Pandy? “That is not going to happen.”

“Why not? It happens all the time,” SondraBeth said. She pawed through one of the shopping bags and held out a tissue-wrapped package to Pandy. “People die, and other people start giving them awards for having once been alive.”

“But that’s just the problem. I’m
still alive
.”

SondraBeth pushed the package toward her. “Of course you’re still alive, Hellenor. But it’s Pandy who’s getting the award. You’re accepting it on her behalf.”

Pandy groaned.

“First things first,” SondraBeth chirped, pushing the package into Pandy’s hands. In her friendliest Monica voice, she said, “In appreciation of how special you are, I’d like to gift you with a few of my favorite items from the Monica line.”

Pandy threw the package back onto the bed. “Now, listen—” she snapped, unable to contain her frustration.

“Here, let me help you.” SondraBeth picked up the package and inspected her incredibly sharp nails. Using her middle finger, she neatly sliced through the tissue paper and then, with a flourish, held up a garment.

It was a beautiful white hooded robe, made of the softest, lightest, coziest material Pandy had ever seen. She picked up the sleeve and felt the fabric. “It’s beautiful,” she said with a sigh.

“Isn’t it?” SondraBeth said mournfully, at last dropping the Monica routine. “It’s just the kind of thing your sister would have loved. I remember all those times when the two of us would be lounging around in our robes—”

“Still hung over,” Pandy added.

SondraBeth shot her a sharp glance. “Will you try it on? For me?” She smiled imploringly.

“Okay,” Pandy said. She wasn’t sure what SondraBeth was up to, but the robe was too tempting to resist.

She draped the hood over her head, went into the bathroom, and looked at herself in the mirror as SondraBeth came in behind her. The hood did not disguise the fact that she was bald, and now she looked like some kind of newt. Or rather like a spa refugee with huge, scared eyes.

And suddenly, she was sick to death of this farce.

“Now listen, Squeege,” she said, tearing off the robe and throwing it onto the floor. “If you have to tell me something about Jonny—”

“Jonny.” SondraBeth grimaced. “Now you listen. The truth is that in the last few years—well, your sister and I weren’t exactly friends. I’ll explain why, someday. But in the meantime, I never got the chance to tell her the truth about Jonny.”

SondraBeth leaned past her to reach into the top of the medicine cabinet. “It’s nasty stuff, but Pandy always said you were the kind of person who wouldn’t be swayed by sentiment. Unlike Pandy herself. I always told her she was too emotional about men, but she wouldn’t listen.”

“Is that so?” Pandy said archly.

SondraBeth laughed as she removed a lighter and a pack of cigarettes, which she shook at Pandy. Pandy took one.

“But since you already know Jonny’s a bad guy…” SondraBeth stuck a cigarette into her mouth, lit it, and then lit Pandy’s. SondraBeth inhaled and exhaled quickly, like someone who hasn’t had a smoke for a while. “I happen to know that Jonny owes the mob a lot of money.”

“What?” Pandy began coughing. SondraBeth patted her on the back.

“I know. It sounds shocking, but you have to remember that Jonny was in the restaurant business. He borrowed all this money from the mob. But that’s not the worst of it.”

“There’s more?”

SondraBeth nodded, and with the guilt of someone who knew she shouldn’t be smoking, she took another furtive drag. “That guy who was just here, Freddie the Rat? Your sister and I used to hang out with him. A long time ago.”

“I know all about Freddie,” Pandy sighed.

“Well, Freddie knows all about Jonny. And he told me that if there weren’t any more Monica movies…if Monica were, to say,
die
”—SondraBeth took another drag—“the mob would go after Jonny for the money he owes them, because they’d know his source of funds had dried up.”

“What are they going to do? Kill him?” Pandy asked sarcastically.

“Don’t be silly,” SondraBeth said. “They’re not going to
kill
a famous person. They don’t operate like that.”

“How do you know?” Pandy asked.

“Because they do
business
with famous people. It’s like being a drug dealer, okay? You don’t want to kill your clients.”

“Holy shit,” Pandy said, remembering the Vegas guys Jonny had mentioned; those mumbled phone calls in the bathroom.

“But it’s way more than that,” SondraBeth continued. “He’s been cheating the union guys, too. Who are part of the mob.”

“You mean those people who make deliveries to his restaurants?” Pandy gasped.

“Hey.” SondraBeth’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me you’re in the restaurant business, too.”

“I’m not. I know all about it because
I was married to Jonny
.”

“
What?
” SondraBeth nearly dropped her cigarette. “You too?”

“I’m Pandy!” Pandy shouted. “Christ, Squeege. We’ve seen each other naked. Remember that time on the island? You invited me to come and visit you, and then you convinced me to invite Doug there. And then you
stole
him,” she shrieked.

“I did not!” SondraBeth jumped back in shock.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s not the way it happened. Technically, he wasn’t her
boyfriend
,” she said quickly.

“What difference does it make? Because after you had sex with Doug, you sent him to me as
a present
.” Pandy’s voice rose to a screech. “And then, you acted like it was no big deal and
I
was crazy. Like I was the crazy one who fucks their best friend’s boyfriend behind their back! And you want to know another thing?”

“There’s more?” SondraBeth demanded.

“The last time I looked at you, I saw evil.
Pure evil
. I saw a serpent come out of your head and swoop down toward me. Well?” Pandy demanded in reaction to SondraBeth’s still-startled expression.

And at last, SondraBeth’s eyes widened in recognition. She took a deep breath. “Well, yourself,” she said. She took another cigarette from the pack. As she raised her hand to light it, Pandy saw her hand was shaking.

And suddenly, Pandy felt dizzy, too, as if she was about to swoon in fear, anger, and excitement. The history she and SondraBeth had between them could fill a novel—yet, at this point, they might as well have been bookends on the opposite ends of the longest bookshelf in the world.

She looked at SondraBeth, who was looking back at her as if she couldn’t comprehend what Pandy had become.

What she’d
done
.

“Why?” SondraBeth asked, her voice full of hurt. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me go on like a fool, acting like you were Hellenor?”

“I never said
I
was Hellenor,” Pandy said sharply. “It was everyone else—”

“Oh, please.” SondraBeth crossed her arms in disgust.

“I seem to recall that you were the one who invaded my space, ‘sista,’” Pandy continued. “If you remember, I was happily alone in Wallis, waiting for Henry to arrive so I could change my clothes, find a wig, and get back to being Pandy, when
you
showed up with your paparazzi circus.”

“So it’s
my
fault, huh? I interrupted your plans?”

“What plans?” Pandy shouted.

“Pretending to be Hellenor. How long were you planning to keep it up?”

“I wasn’t planning to keep it up at all!”

“You knew about the mob, and you were planning to kill Monica!”

“Of course I wasn’t,” Pandy replied. “Why would I want to kill Monica?”

“You tell me.”

When Pandy continued to shake her head, SondraBeth spoke to her like she was an idiot. Stating the obvious, she said, “You wanted to kill Monica to get even with Jonny.”

“Honestly,” Pandy said, “it never even crossed my mind.”

“Well, I suppose it’s not going to happen now,” SondraBeth said, frowning. “Now that I know you’re Pandy.”

Pandy lit up another cigarette. “You sound kind of disappointed.”

“I’m just shocked, that’s all.” SondraBeth took another cigarette and looked at Pandy assessingly. “I do understand why you did it. If I had a husband like Jonny—”

“Well, aren’t you lucky. You never have,” Pandy replied.
Now
it all made sense. This wasn’t about Jonny. It was about Monica. SondraBeth had believed she was Hellenor and, knowing that Hellenor had the rights to Monica, had obviously brought her here to convince her to make more Monica movies. Just like PP.

“Either way, what difference does it make? Because I’m alive.” Pandy took a mournful drag. “Why should you care about what happened between me and Jonny anyway?” she asked suddenly. “After all, you certainly didn’t care about me and Doug.”

SondraBeth took a step back and sniffed. Looking as if she was recalling that terrible moment on the island when they’d fought about Doug, she said, “Oh, I get it. You’re still mad.”

“About what?”

“Doug Stone?” SondraBeth said tauntingly.

Pandy laughed snidely in return. “Of course I’m still mad. It’s not the kind of thing
I’d
ever forget.”

“Of course it isn’t,” SondraBeth said.

Pandy laughed this off. “Why
did
you do it?”

“You really want to know?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.” Pandy crossed her arms.

“Oh, Peege,” SondraBeth said. “You always made these things bigger than they were. There was no conspiracy, nothing. I was just jealous. Don’t tell me you haven’t been jealous of
me
.” She tossed her head.

“When?” Pandy challenged.

“The mayor’s party? When I was invited and you weren’t?”

“I guess Doug told you,” Pandy said. “Well, so what? Maybe I was jealous. But that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to steal
my guy
.”

“Of course not,” SondraBeth sneered. “Because as usual, you, PJ Wallis, are a far better person than I am. Because
you
grew up with all the
manners
.”

“Not this again,” Pandy said warningly.

“Listen, I made a mistake,” SondraBeth said. “I honestly didn’t think you’d be that angry about it. You said that you were done with him. I thought you felt the way I did. Like he was kind of a P
and
aBeth toy.”

“What?” Pandy screeched.

“Oh, calm down, Peege,” SondraBeth said. “I’m joking. Haven’t you learned to stop being such an idealist? Surely you know that these kinds of things happen in life. You just hate it when they happen to
you
. Anyway, I was never in love with Doug.”

“I thought you two were supposed to be
soul mates
,” Pandy sneered.

“Well, I found out pretty quickly that we weren’t,” SondraBeth said, marching back into the bedroom as Pandy followed her. “Especially when I discovered that my so-called soul mate was fucking everything, everywhere, and everyone was covering up for him. And then, it was too late. It was all over the tabloids that we were together. And then you went and married Jonny.”

Pandy frowned. “What’s that got to do with it?”

“Nothing,” SondraBeth said, leaning back on the bed. “It’s just that when you and Jonny got married, the studio decided it would be a great idea if
Monica
got married as well.”

“Are you saying your getting engaged to Doug was the studio’s idea?”

“Did you think it was mine?” SondraBeth asked.

“Why didn’t you say no?”

“Because I liked having sex with him, and it was good publicity. For Monica. In fact, I almost went along with it—
for Monica
. But in the end, I
couldn’t
do it. I didn’t love him, and I couldn’t go through with that much of a lie.

“Why
did
Monica have to get married, anyway?” SondraBeth continued in exasperation. “What happened to the old PJ Wallis? The PJ who said Monica would never get married, because
she’d
never get married.”