Kindled (Book 3 The Kindred Series) (22 page)

   Devon rose as Cassie turned away from them. Though it looked as if she were about to leave, she did not. She simply stood stiffly, her eyes focused on the window. “But it’s already happe
ned to me. It
will
happen again.”
   “You don’t know that!” Chris protested instantly.

   Her eyes turned slowly toward him, though she still looked shell shocked
there was a cold acceptance
about
her. Devon felt his stomach drop as he realized that the Cassie he knew, the Cassie he had wanted back, was gone. That Cassie, though she
’
d had a hard life and
had
lost a lot, had still maintained some of her innocence.

  
This Cassie, well this Cassie knew the hardships of the world, had been devastated, changed, wounded, beaten
down, and had survived it all
. This Cassie was still the same, and yet she was so very different.
She was harder, more resilient
, more knowing
. This Cassie would not turn against him; she would not hide from the world behind a wall of pain. This Cassie would face it head on and beat it down with her bare fists if she had too.

  
Though he had desperately wanted to keep her sheltered from this harsh reality of life
, for
he had never wanted her to know such pain
, he knew now that it had been
inevitable.
S
he kn
e
w about the pain and the cruelty
of the world
now
,
she knew far more of it than most people. At first she had been destroyed by it, but not now, now she was like a phoenix rising from the ashes, more mature, more solid, an adult.
A woman.

   He wanted to go to her, but he knew that she had to face this on her own. “I do know that Chris,” she said softly, forcefully. “I know what is inside of me
now;
I
know what is just beneath the surface.
I
felt
that hatred and rage and it
i
s
something that you can never unde
rstand. And I never want you to
.
” Her gaze darted to Devon, a sad acceptance in it
as for the first time she truly understood him, truly got what it was that he went through on a day to day basis
. “
And
now that it has been released I will have to
constantly
struggle to keep it suppressed. I
know
it,” she said softly.

   Devon nodded briefly,
understanding what she was talking about
.
He
kn
e
w how awful the constant struggle
to keep
himself
restrained
was. It was not something that he wanted Cassie to
have to go t
hrough,
b
ut there was nothing he could do to stop
it
. He could not protect her from
h
erself. He could only stand by her, and do what he could to make sure that she didn
’
t step over that precipice for good.

   “It’s ok though,” she continued, turning her attention back to Chris, a small s
mile tugged
at the corner of her mouth.

   “Cassie,” Melissa said softly, unable to keep the heartache from her voice.

   “No, it really is ok. It makes things easier.”
   “Excuse me?” Luther inquired sharply.

   Her eyes found Devon’s again, for the first ti
m
e in a long time a true gleam of hope
filled
them
. “It makes the choice so much easier, it really does.”

   Devon froze
as
hope spr
a
ng forth
,
nearly drown
ing
him in its suffocating, pounding waves. “Do you mean?” he barely managed to
squeeze out through the sudden constriction in his chest.
He had wanted this for so long, dreamed of this moment, and now that it was finally here, he didn
’
t want to hear the words. Because they were words he was afraid that he could not fulfill.

   Her smile widened, and although she was still unnaturally pale, there was a glow
about her
. “Yes,” she breathed. “
I can’t get stuck in between if I’m already all the way over. I want to join you Devon.”
 
 

CHAPTER 1
1

   Cassie heard the collective inhalation of breaths, but she couldn
’
t tear her gaze away from Devon. The
need that radiated fr
o
m him warmed her heart, caused her toes to curl, and made every scary thing about her decision completely right. It would be ok; he could calm the raging insanity in her. He knew all about what was inside of her, knew all about this monster
that was
living within her skin. He could help her control it, he could make it better, and he could make it so that she wouldn’t be some
creature
stuck in the middle, lost to a world of insanity and bloodlust. He could do all of that for
her
,
and for the first time
,
she had no fear about letting him do so.

   For the first time, in so very long, there was a sense of real peace inside of her. This was right, this was what she wanted, and it would be good. She knew that.
Between them, things would be perfect
, forever.

   E
ven if she hadn’t
just learned that she could lose complete control of herself
,
and everything she believed in,
she knew that she had made the right
choice
.
It was a choice
she
would have eventually made anyway, this new knowledge had just precipitated it faster.
N
o matter what
,
she would have chosen t
o spend for
e
ver with him
. To give him this peace
and happiness
, she would have done anything.

   “Cassie,” Chris said softly.
“Are you sure?”

   She turned slowly away from Devon, bracing herself for the disgust she was sure would be on
t
heir faces.
She loved them all dearly, but she had made her choice and she was going to stick by it.
She was surprised to find that
there was no disgust
there however. In fact
,
Chris and Melissa
looked as if they had been expecting this; Dani had retreated to the window and was not looking at them. Only Luther didn
’
t look happy.

   “Yes.”

  
“I’m sorry
,
but you can’t.”

   Cassie’s head snapped toward Luthe
r, anger and frustration rolled
through her. She hadn’t expected her decision to be met with open arms, but she had expected some of Luther’s prejudice’s against Devon to have lessened. Hell, they had worked together in order to find out more about the Hunter’s like her. She
had
assumed
that they had formed a bond between them, that Luther now accepted Devon
.

  
“Luther…”

   He held up a hand, stalling her angry tirade. His gaze was sad
, lost, wounded. Cassie’s mouth snapped shut in the face of his distress. He glanced toward Devon, opening his mouth and then closing it again. Whatever it was he had to say, it was more than apparent he didn
’
t want to say it.

   Taking a deep breath, Luther rubbed the bridge of his
nose before meeting her gaze once more.

“Cassie, we don’t know what will happen to you if you are changed.”

   She frowned fiercely at him before turning to Devon. He looked just as confused as her for a moment, and then the furrows in his brow cleared. He turned to her, his eyes
dark and dangerous, his jaw clenched tight. It was the anger
a
n
d
despair in his gaze that caused her heart to turn over
,
and her stomach to plummet.

   “No Hunter has ever been changed Cassie,” Luther continued gently. “There is no way of knowing what that change might bring. You already have vampire DNA in you, more so than most Hunter’s. We do not know what
would happen to any Hunter that
is changed;
let alone
what will happen to
you
. You are so close to the precipice now. We do not know what
you will become, if you can be controlled.”

   Cassie gaped at him,
struggling
to keep
breathing through the anxiety
and pain
clutching at her
.
S
he glanced sharply back at Devon, hoping that she would
see
denial in his gaze. She didn
’
t.
“Devon can help with that,
”
she struggled to say.

   “Devon was able to bring you back before, but if he changes you and you become something more, he may not be able to pull you back.
Ever.
”
  
There
was
a
downtrodden slope to his shoulders that only confirmed Luther’s words
. “Devon,” she whispered.

  
He shook his head. “There is already demon in you Cassie,” he said softly
, reluctantly
. “Luther is right.
There is no way to know.
”

   The breath wheezed out of her
, her chest constricted tightly. Hope deflated from her like a popped balloon. She could only stand there and stare, unmoving, frozen
. “So, that’s it then,” she said softly. “There’s nothing we can do.”

   “I’m not saying that Cass,” Luther said gently. “I’m just saying that we need to take our time, do some more research. I have never heard of a Hunter being turned, but it may have happened, there may be something out there that would tell us about it. I had never thought to look for anything about
you
,
until Devon came to me
, and now we will
look for information about
this
.
”

  
“No,” Devon said forcefu
lly
. “No more digging, no more research.”
Cassie felt as if her legs were going to give out, but she somehow managed to keep herself standing upright.
Didn’t he want her anymore? Didn’t he want to figure this all out somehow? Didn’t he want to end both of their misery? “It’s too dangerous.”
   Cassie blinked at him in surprise, her gaze dart
ed
to Melissa and Chris who looked just as confused as she was.
“Dangerous?” she inquired.

   Devon nodded briskly. “The Commission, if they know you exist they will come for you. They will destroy you Cassie.”

   “No they won’t!” she and Chris protested simultaneously.

   Melissa’s eyes widened, her mouth parted slowly as she took a sharp step forward. Dani finally turned away f
rom the window, her arms folded
over her chest as she surveyed them. “That’s why no other Hunter’s like Cassie were recorded, not after Gertrude anyway,” Melissa
whispered
, disgust
and understanding
evident in her voice.
“The
Commission
destroyed them.”
   Cassie glanced wildly between them
; bile rose swiftly up her throat
. “Why?” she breathed. “Why would they do that?”

   Luther took a deep breath, but it was Devon that answered her. “Because they could not
, and
would
not,
allow a fault in the bloodlines. They could not take the chance
that one o
f their creation
s
might
turn against them
,
and becom
e
even more destructive then the
monsters
they
ha
d
been created to destroy.”