Rage was tolerable. The gut-wrenching anguish that flared every time he thought about a future without Serenity threatened to tear him apart.
“Has Krevitch, Jude’s factotum, been wiped clean yet?” Cyrus asked.
“No. We have him in a safe house in Long Island. Danika was tied up at House Herut with another matter. She’ll fly into LaGuardia at the end of the week. Why?”
“I need her to stick around. Once we find Evan, I want him wiped clean, and I have another matter I need her to take care of.”
“What matter, brother?”
“You don’t need to know everything.” He pulled out into traffic, forcing another car to swerve. “If Hotep and Micah don’t turn up something in forty-eight hours, I want the employees at the other corporations interrogated. Some higher-up must know something. We can have them wiped clean afterwards.”
“Cyrus, this is extreme. I want to find Lysandra as much as you, but we may be crossing a line.”
“We will find Lysandra, every single mercenary working for her, and every employee of Gallacom interested in Serenity, by any means necessary. Do you understand?”
“The path you’re on is a dangerous one, brother. If I bothered to warn you about the loss of judgment when it comes to your
kabashem
, would you heed it?”
“No.”
Abbadon sighed. “I didn’t think so.”
Serenity put on her running clothes and laced her sneakers up tight. Cyrus had left her surrounded by bodyguards and alone with her thoughts. A day and a half and he hadn’t come back to the house. Not that she knew what to say when she saw him. She did want her life back—here in New York, and her freedom, and her safety, without a baby, but all with him.
Why couldn’t he understand that?
Scrolling through the playlists on her iPod, she left her room.
A door opened somewhere down the hall. Talus poked her head around the corner. With a quick wave of her hand, she motioned for Serenity to come over. Talus was pale, nearly ashen in complexion and circles so dark they looked like bruises swept under her eyes. Her disheveled hair hung unevenly and a crazed look held her beautiful features hostage.
“Will you do me a favor?” Talus whispered, looking around like she was waiting for someone to jump out and scream boo.
“Anything.”
Talus grabbed Serenity’s hand and rushed to her room. She slammed the door with her back pressed against it and locked it.
“I want you to bring Cassian back, just for a minute, so I can tell him something.”
“He wouldn’t be real,” Serenity stammered, knocked off balance by the request.
“I know.” Talus gripped Serenity’s hands with frosty fingers and led her to the brown cushions to the side of the room. “Bring him back for me. Just for a minute, please,” she begged.
“It would be easier if Cyrus were here, so I could use his energy to boost mine.”
“No!” Talus shook her head. “He wouldn’t approve. I’m supposed to let his soul go back to the Creator, so he can be reborn. Cyrus wanted me to swear I wouldn’t ask you to bring him back, but I wouldn’t do it. I need to speak to him, only for a minute, and then I’ll let him go.”
“He won’t be real,” Serenity tried to explain again.
“Please! Use my energy and bring him back. I have to speak to him.”
Serenity stared at her. “I can sense your energy, but I don’t know if I can connect to it, draw on it to boost mine.”
“Try.” Talus looked at her with hopeful eyes and waited patiently.
Serenity closed her eyes and held Talus’s hands. She took deep breaths and pictured Cassian in her mind. He was kind, generous, animated and loving. She focused on all of the things he enjoyed: music, movies and cars. He was so lovely and sweet. She missed his smile and the way he laughed. She visualized her stream of energy and lifted Cassian from the blue-white plasma.
Talus’s cold hands slipped away. Serenity opened her eyes slowly, trying to stay focused.
Cassian stood before them, but he wasn’t solid. He appeared as a hologram. He looked the way he had the first day she met him, with a striped shirt and converse sneakers.
His eyes were two sparkling pools of delphinium blue light. They were the only part of him that appeared real.
Talus stood in front of him. “I’m so sorry. It’s my fault you’re dead. I should’ve gotten to you sooner.” She reached out to touch his face, but his image flickered. “I miss you,” she whispered. “I miss you so much.”
Her ghost-like face and thin body were racked with sorrow. “You were right about Serenity. You were right about everything. Please come back soon.” Talus fell to her knees, weeping, but had no more tears to shed. “I love you.”
She wrapped her arms around Cassian’s legs, but passed through his image and hit the floor. Cassian flickered, then faded away.
“I never told him I loved him.” Her weak voice was barely audible.
Serenity held her. “He knew. He knew how much you loved him.” She rocked Talus, reassuring her softly.
Slowly, Talus stopped making guttural noises and calmed herself. “Thank you.” Talus threw her arms around Serenity. “You won’t tell Cyrus, will you?”
“No, I won’t tell.”
Talus let Serenity go, then a wobbly smile of gratitude crept up on her face.
“We need to get you out of this house for a little while,” Serenity said.
Uneven waves of hair covered Talus’s face. “For what?”
“To get you a decent haircut for starters. Meet me downstairs in twenty minutes, okay?”
Talus nodded.
Serenity changed her clothes and waited for Talus in the kitchen. She grabbed the newspaper from the counter and fingered through it.
On the first page of the entertainment section, Dougie stood in his signature pose with his tattoo-sleeved arms folded across his chest. She skimmed the article that proclaimed
Soul Ink Designs
the hottest tattoo studio in the industry with a three-month waiting list and clients flying halfway across the world for an appointment.
Closing the paper, she chuckled. “We did it,” she whispered. Last time she checked it had been a two-month waiting list, but with this article, it would exceed three in no time.
Her smile fell from her face. It had taken five grueling years of hard work and exploiting her ability to reinvent Dougie’s tattoo dive and create
Soul Ink Designs
. Yet Dougie would have to enjoy the fruit of their shared labor alone if she walked away from it.
Hard to believe they’d been friends for seven years. In hindsight, choosing his shop to get her tat hadn’t been coincidence or chance at all. She’d shaken his hand with the intent to read him. No one wanted to spend hours trapped getting a tattoo from someone they couldn’t stand. While he inked on her tat, the image that had popped into her mind when she’d touched him refused to fade. A blazing sun trapped in layers of rock that had intricate etchings so arresting she had to draw him a rough outline in the shop. He’d made no comments about the sketch, but begged her to do a detailed drawing and bring it back.
When she returned, he’d insisted on getting it as a tattoo—the best design he’d ever seen that represented who he was, that reflected his soul.
And Dougie was fiery and hard and complicated, even crass sometimes, but he was also warm, engaging when he wanted to be, and dependable. Until she met him, she’d only used her readings and the vibrations of her core to determine if she’d get along with someone, for a while anyway, or to avoid them. The whole idea of
Soul Ink Designs
had been his vision. It’d taken Dougie two years to convince her that the image that sprang up in her mind when she touched someone for the first time did indeed represent their soul, making the ultimate tat. And it had taken him just as long to persuade her to go into business with him, upping the incentive from part-time worker to full partner who worked part-time.
She splayed her fingers against the cool granite counter of the kitchen island, staring at the picture of Dougie. She’d always fretted their partnership would fall apart. All of her other friendships had spoiled like they had expiration dates. Even her relationship with Evan hadn’t been meant to last. Now she was about to throw away her partnership with Dougie while it was still good.
The shop had built its success around her ability, but it had a solid reputation for some of the finest tattooists with an excellent eye for detail. Most of the shop’s clients came in out of curiosity, but didn’t want to pay an exorbitant price to use her services and ended up getting a tattoo they picked from one of their tat flash books that had plenty of unique designs she’d created. He deserved to own the shop outright and all of the success coming his way.
The studio had only been an outlet for her gift she didn’t understand. She was meant to do more. In her bones she knew it, only not exactly what it was yet.
What did the shop matter anymore, or her safe, predictable life without Cyrus to share it with? She couldn’t go back to barely hanging on with Evan, dying a slow death of boredom and discontentment.
A future without Cyrus was impossible. Even if he erased her memory, her soul would remember him, her energy stream would cry out for his, and the hole in her heart would never heal. There had to be another way she could be with him and stay safe that didn’t require her to be something she wasn’t cut out for or to be responsible for some little person’s life.
If she’d been older when her mother left, had been given a chance to form solid memories of her, of what a mother-daughter relationship looked like, felt like, maybe she’d feel differently. Only one foster mother had taken to her, but it wasn’t long before she’d been thrown back into the system.
At least she had pictures of happy days with a loving mother now, but no memories of one tucking her in, kissing a boo-boo to make it feel better or even brushing her hair. No model of what it was to be a good mother to go on. She gnawed on her bottom lip.
Motherhood wasn’t for her, she just couldn’t do it, she didn’t know how.
Talus crept into the kitchen. “Spero and the others are ready to go, whenever you are.”
In the foyer, Spero marched across the hardwood floor and bowed. “Lady Serenity, I’d like for you to meet the rest of the
vadeletori
,” he said and stepped aside to let the team of warriors come forward.
Talus slinked away to a corner, eyelids lowered.
The warriors formed a line and came up to Serenity, one by one. She’d seen them from a distance, manning their posts, but had avoided them. Armed guards hovering only reminded her how danger could strike at any moment necessitating their protection.
The first, a strapping guy with dark hair, knelt. He took her hand and kissed it. “Lady Serenity, Great Consort of Cyrus, I am Ptolemy, son of Orion. May the almighty Creator have you in his keeping.”
He had been one of the warriors in the café the day she met with Evan and had to publicly air her complicated baggage.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said.
He stood and the next one knelt before her and kissed her hand, a female with long brown hair in a ponytail. “Lady Serenity, Great Consort of Cyrus, I am Carin, daughter of Setna. May the almighty Creator have you in his keeping.”
She was the healer Cyrus had mentioned.
The soldiers continued to kneel before her, each attractive and distinct, introducing themselves, one at a time. They were fairly tall, at least five-ten, including the women. Beset, the other female warrior, with a short bob haircut, had golden, sun-kissed skin. The females weren’t picture perfect models like Talus. They had strong, yet feminine bodies.
Some of the men were broad with a thick build; others were more athletic like Cyrus. The beauty of their complexions was just as diverse.
“It’s wonderful to finally meet all of you. Thank you for being here to help us.”
As the warriors bowed, she felt gauche and so undeserving of this magnitude of respect—worthy of royalty.
They took the Hummer and four soldiers to run their errands. When they pulled up to a salon to get Talus a haircut, they made quite the spectacle. The warriors left their weapons in the car, but all eyes were drawn to them.
The soldiers clearly stood out as a security detail. They didn’t get in anyone’s way, but everyone in the salon couldn’t stop gawking at them. All of the humans were visibly nervous and rather uncomfortable. The warriors had a superior air about them as they glanced past everyone, on the lookout for something of significance.
Without an appointment, two hundred dollars worked wonders to get Talus into the chair of a grinning stylist. Serenity would never accept a bribe herself and it was for that reason she had insisted Dougie never take a cash incentive to bump an impatient client up on the list at the tattoo studio. And under normal circumstances, she would’ve happily made an appointment for Talus, but this wasn’t normal and Talus needed something to help her feel better today.
Talus got a sleek, edgy style in less than an hour. The wispy bangs and short look flattered her.
“You look great,” Serenity said to her.
Talus gave a soft grin, lowering her head. “Thanks. Where to next?”