15
Shariffa
Tupelo, Mississippi
Â
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E
verything has to be perfect.
I step back and survey my bloody handiwork. Trigger's chopped-up body has been strategically staged around the living room. It's important that I make sure this shit is a replica of Lucifer's handiwork when she killed Crunk at Crunk's Ink tattoo shop and my girls Bricka and Shacardi at Shacardi's crib. I have every detail, even down to Trigger's head spinning around from the ceiling fan. On the walls I write my name in blood with the ominous message:
Next to that a five-pointed star and the single letter
L
.
“Perfect.”
I have no guilt about this shit. The bitch got what she deserved. She didn't know that I'd learned the truth about her and my husband, Lynch. I made such a fool of myself for ever allowing that bitch into our bed. A harmless ménage à trois to keep the spice in our marriage. I thought that the bitch was my homegirl. She knew how to keep our fuckin' business out of the street. Both of those muthafuckas played my ass. Turns out, Lynch and Trigger went
waaay
back. Shady nigga Mc-Shady had even proposed to her before he met me. He'd even got her and her friends to befriend me in order to give me more street cred with the Grape Street Crips. None of those muthafuckas ever forgot that my ass used to flag for the Gangster Disciples as Python's main bitch
and
how I fell off my throne when Python learned my ass was creeping in the streets like he was. The shit almost cost me my life.
But it didn't.
I crawled out of the gutter and climbed my ass up the Crips' ranks and landed the head nigga. When the war between the Gangster Disciples and the Vice Lords got wild, I seized the opportunity to bring Lynch's Kool-Aid gang into the mix. I found out the hard way that these niggas ain't got no heart to do no real battle. Me and my supposed crewâBrika, Shacardi, Jaqorya, and Triggerâtook shit too far. A money hit at the Vice Lords' joint, Da Club, went seriously left and Lucifer's brother, Bishop, was gunned down. Now the most feared woman in the streets started tracking our asses down one by one, like Freddie Krueger.
Lynch couldn't even step up to protect us. When he tried to arrange a truce, Lucifer shot his ass in the foot and promised his ass that she'd finish me and Trigger off. Instead of going to war for his own wife, Lynch stashed me and his mistress out here in Tupelo to wait for the heat to die down. Only Trigger and I got into it and I killed the bitch myself. Now, I'm the last bitch in my crew standing. If I want to survive, I have to beat Lucifer at her own game.
Done, I strip out of the bloody clothes and rush to the bathroom in the master bedroom. The shower set to steaming hot, I plunge beneath the water and scrub myself raw. I have to get ready for the role of a lifetime if I'm going to pull this shit off. The first thing I have to do is get my damn story straight. I have to explain to Lynch how my ass is still alive.
A million and one scenarios speed through my head. All of them dumb as fuck.
Keep it simple.
It's an important rule to remember. Muthafuckas always mess up by talking too damn much. Toweling off, I dress in record time, grab the yellow cleaning gloves and trash bags from the kitchen. Clothes in the bag, I head out the door and travel through the woods. Since I don't want to risk detection, it's best that I don't burn the clothes out here. With no shovel, I need to find a good hiding place to get rid of this shit.When I stumble across a narrow riverbank, I don't waste a beat, hurling the bloody evidence and gloves into the water below. As I rush back to the house, I hear tires crunching up the gravel road to the safe house.
Who the fuck is this?
The terrifying thought that Lucifer really has found me crosses my mind. No shit. My heart stops as I crouch low and angle to see who has shown up unannounced. I instantly recognize the Range Rover when it comes into view.
Lynch.
“What the fuck is he doing here?” My heartbeat kicks back into gear and then races like a muthafucka.
Lynch exits the vehicle and then, to my surprise, he opens one of the back doors for my twin four-year-old boys, Marcel and Julez, to hop out. “Are you ready to see Mommy?”
“Yeah,” they shout, jumping up and down.
I slap a hand over my mouth while tears sting my eyes. This shit is about to go south in a real fuckin' way if I don't think of something quickâbut I draw a blank.
Don't let them go in there.
My feet refuse to move. The holes in my story suddenly seem big enough to drive a Mack truck through. Rooted to my spot by the tree, I watch Lynch and my kids enter the house. Seconds later, my babies scream at the top of their voices and then race back out. Lynch follows behind.
Get in there.
I climb to my feet and run from my hiding spot. “Lynch!” I shout, waving my hands in the air.
Everyone's head snaps in my direction.
“Mommy! Mommy!” My boys fly toward me.
I don't have to fake the joy of seeing them. Before now, Lynch has denied my request for them to visit. He claimed that it was too dangerous with Lucifer on a murderous prowl. I'm glad that he's changed his mind. I clear the last line of trees, drop and swing my arms open. Marcel and Julez rush into them so hard that I fall backwards onto the grass.
“Mommy, there's a dead body in there,” Julez shouts, pointing back to the house. Tears stream down his face. I'm a piece of shit for letting them go in there.
“Shariffa, baby. Are you all right?” Lynch asks, catching up to me and the boys. “Are you hurt?”
“No. I'm all right,” I say, giving my voice the right shaky inflection. “Did you see what happened to Trigger?”
“Of course I saw,” he shouts. “What the fuck?”
“What does it look like? That bitch Lucifer killed her,” I screech. “How did she find out where we are?” I stand and then flip the script. “
You
said that we'd be safe out here! How in the fuck did that bitch find us?”
The color drains from Lynch's confused face. “I . . . I don't know. Nobody knows about this place.”
“That shit can't be true now, can it?”
He gives me the deer-caught-in-the-headlights stare while my sons crowd around my legs, crying. “Mommy there's so much blood.”
I stare at Lynch like he's supposed to have the fuckin' answers.
Shaking his head, Lynch does the only thing he can do: apologize. “I'm sorry. I . . . Iâ”
“You're sorry? That's all you got? I could've been chopped up and swinging around the ceiling fan too.
All
you can say is that you're sorry?”
“I'll fix this.” He pulls me and the kids forward to wrap us in his arms. “I promise.” He kisses me and pulls me back so that I can read the seriousness in his eyes. “I'm glad you're safe.”
Are you?
Even with his arms around me, I can't help but wonder if he would prefer that it was my head swinging around in the living room instead of his longtime secret girlfriend. If Lynch even suspected that I'm the one who chopped up and spread his snake-in-the-grass mistress's body parts around this shitty hideout, what would he do? The fact that my ass was number two to my own damn husband is beyond fucking sad. But I'm a survivorâand now it's time to become a conqueror. Time to kick the show into high gear. I lower my head and cry.
“Baby, it's okay. Calm down,” Lynch soothes. “Tell me what happenedâfrom the beginning.”
He's more concerned about Trigger than these crying babies.
I struggle to keep it together. “I got up this morning and needed to clear my head about this whole Lucifer situation, so I went for a walk.And when I came back . . .” I sniff. “Trigger was dead. I freaked out and ran back into the woods to hide. I didn't know what else to do.”
Lynch's forehead creases at the tall tale.
Oh shit. Am I selling this shit right?
I kick up the crying.
“Shh. Shh. I'm here now,” he consoles, stroking the back of my head. “Nothing is going to happen to you. I'm here now.” He kisses my forehead and then swears under his breath. “We'll move you somewhere else. Somewhere safer.”
“We were supposed to be safe
here
,” I snap.
“Mommy, I want to go home,” Marcel wails.
“I do too,” I say, staring up at Lynch.
Whatcha gonna do?
He punts. “It's okay, baby. I know you're upset.” Lynch takes me back into his arms. “Let me go in and take another look. You and the boys stay right here. Okay?”
I sigh and then release him to go back inside.
“No, Daddy, nooo,” Julez cries when he realizes that his father is about to go back into the house.
“It's okay,” Lynch reassures him. “You stay out here with Mommy. I'll be right back.”
I nod pathetically and watch him go. Once he's inside, I grin from ear to ear.
16
Qiana
T
ick. Tock.
After pouring my heart out to GG on my bathroom floor, I'm consumed by guilt. A long list of
could've
and
should've
strolls through my head.
“Calm down,” GG says. “We just have to put our heads together and think.”
“What is there to think about? I'm dead no matter what the fuck I decide to do.”
“That's not true. You still have options. As long as you're here in Ruby Cove, you have a real layer of protection.”
“So what? I'm under house arrest for the rest of my lifeâlike that bitch Ta'Shara.”
“Judging by that party the Flowers threw for her last night, Ta'Shara doesn't seem to be all that fucking concerned about her sister.”
“Why would she? She has Profit, Fat Ace, and Lucifer protecting her like the Secret Service.”
“And you have me and Charlie.”
I cock my head. “No shade, but that's hardly the same thing.”
“Then let's cash in your insurance card: Jayson.”
“Fuck. My stupid ass told Diesel every fucking thing.What makes you think that he hasn't gone and blabbed everything to Python?”
“Well, if he has, then it'll take care of your little problem, right?”
For the first time, a ray of sunlight parts the gray clouds of my depression. “You're right.”
GG nods. “Python would probably place more stock in the word of his cousin than if the information had come from you.”
“Yeah.” The wheels start spinning in my head. “How do we find out?”
“We go and talk to Diesel,” she says, shrugging.
“Talk?” I point to my busted face. “Does it look like that shady nigga is interested in talking with me? Hell, he'll probably kill me if he sees me again.”
“Then I'll go talk to him.”
“You? You'll do that for me?”
“Why not? You need help . . . and I consider you family.”
I don't know what to say, but it strikes me as a
big
favor to ask. “I don't know. You don't know him . . . and what he's capable of.” An image of Solomon flashes in my head again.
“I'll go with backup. Talk to him at his club. It should be safer. It's public.”
“Public just means a higher body count. You know these niggas out here don't give a shit.”
“Look. If he wanted to kill you, he would've done it last night. Don't you think?”
Maybe.
“Or . . . we can gather a posse.Your clique and my clique and we all go and meet LeShelle at Hack's Crossing Park. I can't imagine she's told too many people about y'all's arrangement. Maybe we can outgun the bitch.”
I like that idea better, but, “Won't I have to tell your girls what I did to Tyneshia? How do you think that's going to go down, my killing another Flower? That shit could sentence me to a few bullets too.” My anxiety triples. Death has me surrounded. I just don't know the method it's going to use to take me out.
She sighs as if she hasn't thought of that. The complexity of the situation has finally hit my girl. She looks as lost as I am. “Okay. Let's go over our options again. There's got to be an answer in here somewhere.”
“The only answer is to get to that bitch before she gets to me! I don't know how I'll do that shit, since she seems to move through the streets like a goddamn ghost. I'd love it if that grimy Diesel does it, but I can't even risk you going to
ask
him.”
“Then we do the posse thing.”
“Yeah, and risk them killing me for treason. I killed Tyneshia, remember?” I've talked myself in a complete circle again.
“You know, my girls Mack and Romil are no angels. Maybe if you really humble yourself they'll overlook it.”
That's a hard pill to swallow. “I don't know.”
“Look, Qiana. I don't want to scare you or anything, but we really don't have a whole lot of options. There simply are no perfect answers to this. You got yourself into some serious shit and I'm
trying
to help.”
She's rightâand I know that she's right. It doesn't make making a decision any easier.
Tick. Tock.
I close my eyes and make a decision. “All right. Fine. Let's assemble a posse.”
GG nods. “All right. Let's call your girls first.”
Â
I'm nervous as shit with my stomach twisted into knots. I'm not used to having to ask bitches for help, but here I am, standing before my girl's Li'l Bit and Adaryl and trying to act like my ass isn't in as much deep shit as it truly is. They could buck and show me their ass any damn minute. And then what in the fuck am I going to doâserve LeShelle my fucking head on a goddamn platter?
I glance over at GG and try to mimic her confidence, but fail miserably and start twitching in my seat like a crack addict on her first day of rehab.
Li'l Bit is the first to voice her concerns as her baby voice squeaks, “Is everything all right?” Her gaze swings from me to GG. “Has that cop been back?”
Captain Hawkins. Hmph. I wish shit was that simple.
“Nah. I haven't seen her again.”
Adaryl huffs. “So what the fuck are we meeting here about?”
Her fucking disrespectful tone marches all up and down my damn nerves. It takes everything in me not to snap back.
“We have ourselves a little situation,” GG begins and then looks at me to bring the girls up to speed.
I take a deep breath, but have a hard time lifting my gaze from the floor. “LeShelle Murphy got the drop on me last night.”
Li'l Bit gasps. “I fuckin'
knew
it. Shit. What happened? What did she say?”
“You mean after she capped a fuckin' cab driver and then put a loaded gun to my head?”
Li'l Bit gasps again and then bounces around in her seat. “Ohmigod! Wait. How in the fuck are you still breathing?”
I look over at Adaryl, who is shaking her head. “Let me guess. She wants the kid.”
Clamping my jaw tight, I nod.
“Then give him to her,” Adaryl snaps. “I don't see what the fuckin' problem is.”
“She'll kill him,” I say.
“And?” Adaryl shrugs.
“He's a fucking baby,” I thunder back, incredulous. “I don't fucking kill or help kill children. Bitches got to have a code out here in the streets or we're no fuckin' better than animals.”
“A code?” Adaryl laughs. “How does ânot killing your own'
not
make it into your damn code book? Huh?”
“Look. I get that you're still feeling salty about what went down with Tyneshia. I get that. You're free to feel some kind of way about that shitâbut it doesn't change the problem we got.”
“We?”
Adaryl looks around to see if I'm talking to somebody else. “What's this
we
shit? The bitch shouldn't even know myâor Li'l Bit'sâname. We didn't fucking strike a deal with the bitch. She shouldn't be coming after
us
for a muthafuckin' thing. This is
your
problem.”
GG cuts in. “It's
all
of our problems. We're in this shit together.”
“No.
We
ain't,” Adaryl corrects her. “I don't know what the hell Qiana told you, but
we
told her not to kill that yellow bitch after we found out how fuckin' pregnant she was. Did she listen? No. In fact, she executed Tyneshia for speaking the damn truth. And then we left her ass there, which brings the fuckin' cops to our muthafuckin' door. Now she's telling us that the bitch that we did this shit for is gunning for
us
? The only way the bitch would know our names is if Qiana ratted us out.”
I had noticed Adaryl trying to distance herself from me in the past month, but the bitch is really feeling herself right now.
“Did you?” Li'l Bit asks, looking at me with her eyes wide-open. “Did you rat us out to that crazy bitch?”
All eyes shift to me and I instantly start to sweat under the pressure. “No. I didn't tell the bitch nothing.”
“Then she ain't looking for us and this whole thing is
your
problem,” Adaryl insists. “I say you handle it and leave us the fuck out of it.”
What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? I look over at GG and she seems stumped too. “I don't fuckin' believe this. You two are supposed to be my girls. We have each other's back.”
“Nah. You severed that shit the second you put that cap in Tyneshia.
You
made this damn deal with the devil.
You
killed that yellow bitch.
You
cut that baby out. And then you pretended to play momma to it. This is all on you, boo.” She marches over and grabs Li'l Bit by the hand and forces her to stand up next to her. “As far as
we
are concerned, our asses wasn't even there. That's our story and if the shit gets out to the other Flowers, or the fuckin' cops, we're going to call you a fuckin' liar.”
She fucking means that shit.
I stand up and stab Li'l Bit with a hard stare. “Is she speaking for you too?” I hold my breath. Li'l Bit and I have been tight since our asses were in diapers. We've shared every fucking thing. I know damn well that
she
isn't about to side with this bitch over me.
Li'l Bit's gaze drops to the floor.
My heart sinks to the pit of my gut.
“We
did
tell you not to kill that girl,” she says softly.
My eyes burn as I nod my head. “All right. Fine. If this is how it's going to be, then so be it. I'll handle this shit on my own.”
Adaryl grins and thrusts out her chin in satisfaction.
“And so we're clear: After tonight, I don't want to have shit else to do with you bitches. I don't know you and you don't know me. Cool?”
Li'l Bit's shoulders drop. “C'mon, Qiana. Don't be like that.”
“Be like what? I have some crazy-ass psychopath bitch popping up like a fuckin' jack-in-the-box and you say that you are going to bail on me when I need you the most. You think I'm not going to feel some kind of way about that? Fuck. If y'all ain't going to be loyal, then maybe I shouldn't either.”
The blood drains out of Li'l Bit's face. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means exactly what the fuck you think it means,” GG interrupts. “Y'all are too deep in this shit now. And you can tell muthafuckas all you want that you weren't there, but I damn well will guarantee you that if Qiana goes down on this shit, I'll make it damn clear to anyone that'll listen that y'all were involved too. Now who the fuck do you think that the other Flowers will listen toâme or you?”
The fucking room goes silent.
Feeling my swagger coming back, I fold my arms and smile snidely at them.
Adaryl rolls her eyes. “No. I'm sorry. But you can count me out. I don't want anything else to do with this shit.”
She heads for the door.
“Adaryl!”
“Deuces.”