Kissing Maggie Silver (12 page)

“
Until he met you,” Maggie’s voice shook slightly. Ollie sounded just like Ruairi, and yet he’d finally met someone and fallen in love and now he seemed ready to settle down. She wanted to know how Jo had met and tamed him.

“Well if you can call almost knocking me off
the side of a cliff meeting me, then yes,” Jo was still laughing when they reached the car and all conversation had to stop while her luggage was loaded into the trunk. Then, with Maggie wedged in between the children’s car seats in the back of the car, Jo turned her head to finish answering the question.

“It happened when I first visited New Zealand a few years ago.
I had been there for a month or so when Ollie arrived. I was studying a breeding colony of cormorants that nest on some very inaccessible cliffs. He was there to film some of the other bird life and he was familiarizing himself with the site and scoping where to set up his equipment when he strayed into the one tiny bit of territory I’d declared out of bounds to the rest of the crew.”

She smiled at the memory.
“I didn’t make him very welcome I’m afraid.”

“From what I heard the poor man was a complete wreck for weeks,” Ruairi interjected.
“Apparently everyone became so fed up with him they decided to do something about it before their whole project failed.”

“That is so not true,” Jo protested.

He chuckled as he drove the car out of the airport and filtered onto the highway. “I seem to remember something about a romantic meal for two!”

“Oh that!”

“Yes, that! From what I heard, he’d still be in decline now if the rest of the crew hadn’t made themselves scarce by going off to the nearest village for a night of socializing and leaving you two behind to mind camp. Apparently they reckoned you both just needed a bit of uninterrupted time together and they were proved right!”

His eyes met Maggie’s in the driver’s mirror as he spoke.
It was only a fleeting glance but there was something in his expression that jolted her. She remembered how often he’d tried to carve out uninterrupted time for the two of them and how, every time, he’d been thwarted, and briefly she wondered if there was a message in his words. Then she dismissed it. She was being stupid. After all he had spent the little time they had together yesterday telling her all about his next assignment, how he was about to spend another long stretch out of the country.

Dragging her eyes away from
her reflection in the driving mirror she directed them towards the passing scenery and for the rest of the journey she and the girls played word games while Jo and Ruairi chatted quietly in the front of the car.

* * *

“Like her?” Ruairi asked some time later as he pointed the car towards Mark’s house and the children’s tea, bath and bedtime.

“Very much,” Maggie said.
And she did. She really liked Jo. A lot. And not just because she was pregnant, had a husband, and had turned out to be very different from the imaginary temptress who had haunted her thoughts for the past few days.

She not only liked her, she admired her.
They had talked some more when they reached the apartment, and the more she’d learned about the older woman, the more she wanted to be like her. Jo took chances. She lived an independent life. She did what she wanted to without worrying about what other people thought of her. In short, she had already done what Maggie was planning to do and travelled and worked in foreign countries, but with far less angst and far more determination.

She was looking forward to seeing her again in two days time. She
’d agreed to it knowing she’d be free because it was when Mark was taking Sophie and Amy to the hospital to see June and to meet their new brother. The baby was out of the incubator now and no longer hooked up to the various machines that had been monitoring his progress, so at last he looked like a regular baby and was nearly ready to start meeting the rest of the family.

“I won’t be fit for anything tomorrow,” Jo ha
d explained. “Not once the jetlag kicks in. By why don’t we meet up the day after?”

Maggie had accepted
with pleasure and then they’d both looked at Ruairi.

He’d shaken his head in amusement.
“Don’t look so worried. I know when I’m not wanted. Besides I’ve a few things to do of my own.”

Just a throw away remark but it had jolted Maggie into realizing how much of his precious holiday time he was giving up to help out with Mark and the children and she knew she would have to say something about it.
Now, with the children too worn out by the day’s excitement to do more than gaze sleepily at the passing traffic, she had her chance.

“Um…you don’t need to bother about us tomorrow you know…now that the baby is…Mark will be around more and…well I know you’ve got things to do.
Although I don’t want you to think that I’m not grateful for everything you have done of course…I mean…” she tailed off hopelessly. It sounded so wrong, so formal. It sounded as if she was dismissing him. Why did she keep getting it so wrong?

She risked a look in his direction.
He was concentrating on the rush hour traffic and didn’t immediately reply. Unable to help herself she feasted her eyes on his profile for just a moment too long, so that when he glanced across at her their eyes met and for the second time that day she thought she saw some sort of message in them. Then he turned back to the traffic. His voice, when he finally spoke, sounded just the same as it always did. Deep, warm, with that hint of underlying laughter.

“Are you trying to get rid of me Maggie Silver?”

“No! Well…not really…it’s just that I…you’re meant to be giving your Mum a holiday and it doesn’t seem very fair to her if you spend all your time with us,” her final words came out in a rush.

“Mum is so busy meeting old friends that she’s barely got time to have breakfast with me,” he said.

“Well what about your own friends? Surely there are people you want to see. I’m sure my brothers would love to spend more time with you for a start.”

“In the evening maybe, but not during the day Maggie. Everyone is at work during the day. Besides, I’ve
been away for too long now. Lots of the old links are broken. I don’t fit any more. Nobody does once they’ve been away for a few years.”

“Why not?”

“Lots of reasons I guess, but mainly because life has taken us in different directions. For a day or two people are welcoming, interested even, but then they want to get back to their own lives, back to familiarity. Too much time spent with someone who has travelled a lot, someone who has seen and experienced things beyond the normal reach of an annual holiday, can be unsettling. And people don’t want to be unsettled.”

“I never thought of it like that.”

“Why should you? But you need to remember it when you start your own travels because, without meaning to, your family and friends will see your absence as a rejection of everything they hold dear and they will close ranks just a little. And each time you go away the gap between you will grow just that tiny bit bigger.”

Maggie stared at him.
She had had no idea. She hadn’t thought beyond wanting to get away from her family’s constant advice and do something different. She hadn’t really considered what it might do to her family and friends. Then, while she was still digesting what he’d said, she had another thought. Was that what made Ruairi unhappy, the fact that he didn’t fit any more? Not that she had actually seen his unhappiness but Mrs. O’Connor had seemed so sure. She would have another conversation with her about it before she went back to Ireland and tell her everything Ruairi had just said.

“Are you?” his question cut
across her thoughts.

“Am I what?”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

She smiled at him. “I wouldn’t be that unkind when you so obviously have nowhere else to go!”

He ignored her teasing sarcasm. “That’s good because I have plans for tomorrow.”
              ‘What plans?”

He drew up in front of the house and smiled across at her.
“You’ll just have to wait and see.”

* * *

And now it was tomorrow, and he was due at any moment, and Maggie felt like screaming. She’d already had three phone calls. The first one had been a check up call from her mother. Not that she was checking on the baby’s progress, or June’s health, she had already spoken to Mark about that. No! This was Maggie’s check up call.

Had she remembered that Amy couldn’t go to sleep without pink rabbit?
Had she remembered that Sophie didn’t like custard and that she wouldn’t eat anything that was even the tiniest bit soggy? And how was she coping with the laundry? And had she changed the beds yet because it would be best if June came home to a clean house…and then there was the shopping…

Maggie had tuned out, knowing it was only her mother’s anxiety talking; knowing that however much she was enjoying her cruise she was still itching to get back and take over. It had still stung though.
After all, if June thought she was up to coping with the children, then her mother should too.

She was still recovering her equanimity when the phone rang again.
This time it was Jenny, her brother Peter’s wife, with a suggestion that they all meet together in the park for a lunchtime picnic.

“It’ll do Sophie and Amy good,” she had said.
“Take them out of themselves; stop them missing June so much.”

“I’ll get back to you
when Ruairi arrives. He might have made other plans,” Maggie had told her, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice because she knew Jenny was only trying to help. Biting her tongue, she’d cut the call without bothering to tell her that far from missing June, the children were having the time of their lives thanks to Ruairi and Mrs. O’Connor.

Then Helen, Andrew’s wife, had phoned, reissuing the same invitation; and that was when Maggie realized they were not only in cahoots with one another but that her mother had put them up to it.
She sighed as she gave Helen the same reply.

She got on well with all of her sisters-in-law, although June was her favorite
, probably because she treated her like a capable adult. The other two just went along with her family’s assessment without question and treated her like an overgrown child, someone who was fine for babysitting and entertaining their respective broods at family gatherings, but not someone capable of managing her own life without the benefit of their advice.

She stared at her face in the mirror as she picked up her brush ready to tackle the tangle of her hair. Up until now she hadn’t had any time for herself thanks to all those phone calls, Sophie and Amy’s breakfast demands, and Mark’s shamefaced request
that she help him search for a clean shirt, then his shoes, and finally his cell phone.

She had watched him set off for work with a disbelieving shake of her head.
He was spending a few hours each day at the office now that things had settled down because he wanted to save most of his paternity leave for when June brought the baby home. Idly she wondered if he was always so disorganized or whether, deep down, he was still worried about the baby despite the pediatrician’s assurance that everything was fine. With no way of knowing she’d dismissed him from her thoughts and returned to the kitchen where she’d managed to gulp down a few mouthfuls of coffee and eat half a slice of toast before she was needed to referee a minor disagreement between Sophie and Amy.

Now, however, both girls were sitting quietly in front of the television watching a children’s program, which meant she could take time to do her hair, put on some make up and think about the day ahead.

She felt bad about her recent behavior. She knew that believing Jo was Ruairi’s girlfriend was no excuse. Jealousy was an unattractive trait, especially as Ruairi had never given her any reason to think she had a right to be jealous about him. Ever since he had come back into her life he’d treated her exactly the way she’d seen him treat Jo. To Ruairi she was no more than a good friend, someone to spend time with…except…except there had been just one or two moments, fleeting glances, the warmth of his arm as he briefly squeezed her shoulder, the way he smiled at her, that not only set her pulses racing but also made her wonder if he might feel something more for her after all. Maybe he was holding back because she had been so vehement about her plans to travel when she told him her plans, or maybe she was just deluding herself and it was her imagination. Nevertheless it was enough to make her decide to do something about it.

So what if he laughed at her?
So what if she made a fool of herself? Anything would be better than just letting him disappear out of her life again without at least putting up a fight. She wasn’t naïve enough to think there was only one person out there for her. It was a big world after all. But she did know that the feelings she had for Ruairi, had always had for Ruairi, were far too important to ignore.

She finished smoothing her hair into place, brushed mascara onto her eyelashes and colored her lips with a new lip-gloss. There! She was ready.
If that didn’t do it then nothing would. She knew she looked good. She was wearing a blue and white spotted sundress that fitted where it touched across the body and then flared out into a skirt that swirled and dipped as she moved. And it was a color that suited her. It reflected the color of her eyes and set off the burnished gloss of her hair. Satisfied with her image in the mirror, she slipped her feet into flat pumps just as the doorbell rang.