Knife Edge (16 page)

'Are you serious?' one of the other Noughts asked.

'Is this something I'd joke about?' I said. 'See you.'

And I headed towards the back door.

'Marty, I'm not playing in some place where the
L.M.
are going to come calling. I've got a wife and kid, mate,' said one of the Noughts.

Less than a minute later they'd stuffed their ordinary clothes back into their bags, had their instruments under their arms and were out the back door. I watched them leave just as Jaxon, Rhino and Sonny came in.

'Where're they going?' Jaxon frowned.

'They got a better offer,' I told him.

I took out my handbag, ready to apply my make-up. And I pretended I couldn't see or feel the others watching me with varying degrees of contempt.

I raced along the walkway and half-jumped, half-fell down the stairs, taking them three and four at a time. I ran. Away from Eva and her pale-blue eyes. I ran till I doubled over with the stitch from hell stabbing its way out of my side. Dragging the cool night air into my lungs, I fought to get my heartbeat back under control.

What was the matter with me? Going with Eva had been a big mistake. What was supposed to be half an hour's oblivion had turned into anything but. It was as if I hadn't even allowed myself to inhale until I'd left her and her seedy flat. That's how bad it was. I didn't want to even share the same air as her. I started walking in no particular direction, feeling like nothing on this earth. I took out my mobile and phoned directory enquiries to get a phone number. After I'd got the number, the operator asked if I wanted to be connected to it. I almost said yes. Which just goes to show how switched off I was feeling. I declined the offer and wrote the number on the back of my hand. It took me ten minutes to find a working phone box.

I phoned the hospital.

'Could you put me through to your intensive care unit please?' I asked.

'Just a moment,' the receptionist said, her tone bored.

Moments later I was talking to someone else.

'Intensive care. Can I help you?'

'How is Cara Imega?' I asked.

'Are you a member of the immediate family?' the male voice asked.

'Yes, I'm Joshua Imega, her uncle. I only just heard what happened,' I said without even blushing. 'I'm on my way down to see her now but I wanted to know how she was doing.'

Silence.

'Hello?'

'She's not doing very well,' the male voice said with apologetic sympathy. 'We can't really give out much information over the phone, but if I were you, I'd get here as soon as possible.'

'I see,' I said.

And I put down the phone.

'Can we sing
Bad Attitude
first?' I asked Jaxon.

'That's the highlight of our set,' Sonny pointed out, looking at me like I was some kind of maggot who'd just crawled across his top lip.

'I know. But I do have a good reason for asking.'

'I don't know about that—' Jaxon began.

'Give the Cross lady what she wants,' Sonny interrupted.

So this was the way it was going to be. In the changing rooms, I'd re-applied my lipstick whilst the guys changed their shirts in an all-enveloping, chilly fog of silence. The others had made a particular point of ignoring me completely. And I didn't expect it to, but it hurt. I looked across at Rhino on the drums. He wouldn't even look at me.

'Rhino, can you start us off? I really want to get the crowd going,' I said to him.

He looked at me with such malevolence, I actually shivered. Then he started drumming. Slow and steady. I turned and walked back to my mic. Jaxon stood on one side of me, holding his guitar. Sonny stood on the other side of me behind his keyboard. I was getting third-degree burns from the loathing radiating off all of them.

'How're you all feeling?' I called out.

The crowd packed around the stage cheered.

'I said – HOW'RE YOU ALL FEELING?'

The cheer this time was even louder.

And Rhino's drumbeat was getting faster and faster. I nodded at Jaxon who let rip with his guitar. Sonny came in a bar later.
Bad Attitude
was pop candyfloss but it was popular pop candyfloss. I watched the crowd, who were already getting revved up as the music took them higher and higher. And as I watched, the silent rage inside me took root and spread throughout my entire body. I despised everyone in the room at that moment – Noughts and Crosses alike. I loathed all the pettiness and narrow minds and narrow visions. Why was hatred so easy?

You can't come here.

You can't play there.

No mixing.

No matching.

Stay on your own side.

Stay in your own country.

Stay off my planet.

And I wasn't any better.

And I wasn't any different.

Of everyone in the place, I loathed myself most of all.

I took a deep breath. I had to make this good. Better than rehearsal. Better than I'd ever sung it before. Better than anything anyone in this club had heard in a long time. So I started to sing. And anger gave me a voice. And rage took away my fear. And fury took away my doubts. I wasn't Sephy any more. I was Ridan, a girl with no hesitations and no apprehensions. A girl with nothing to gain and nothing to lose. I really let rip. By the time the song had finished, the crowd were cheering so loudly my ears were ringing. They loved us.
Bad Attitude
had been just the right song to sing. It was a popular, fast, up-tempo dance track that always got people on their feet. We had the crowd right where we wanted them.

'D'you want some more?' I shouted.

'Yes!' they screamed back.

'I said – D'YOU WANT SOME MORE?'

'YES!'

For the first time that evening, the smile fell off my face.

'Well, it's not going to happen,' I said.

The cheers fell away into confused whispers. The crowd weren't the only ones who were puzzled. I had the full attention of Jaxon, Rhino and Sonny as well.

'When we came here tonight, we were going to sing a whole load of songs, each of them bigger and better than the one we just did,' I said into the mic. 'But we weren't allowed to come in through the front door. We were told to go around the back. Well, if we're not good enough to come through the same door as you lot, we sure as hell aren't good enough to sing to you. So peace out and goodbye.'

And I headed off stage. But then I remembered something and went back to the stage.

'And it looks like you'll be without any live music this evening because the other band were so disgusted by the way we've been treated that they've already left the building.'

And this time I did make it off the stage. Jaxon and the others had no choice but to follow me. The stunned silence was beginning to be punctuated with a few boos. But even if only one person in the audience understood what I was saying, it would've been worth it.

'What the bloody hell d'you think you're doing?' asked Jaxon. 'We haven't been paid yet.'

'Oh yes we have,' I said waving all the money that slick git Kosslick had given me. I dug into my pocket and took out the extra money I'd been given as well. 'You'd better hold onto that, Sonny. I don't think anyone will be getting anything off you that you don't want to give them.'

And I handed it over. He immediately stuffed it into his trouser pocket.

'Shall we go?' I smiled.

Rhino, Jaxon and Sonny all stood there staring at me. But every trace of their earlier contempt had gone. This was much better!

'I know you guys don't know me from a crisp packet but we all go through the same door, or we don't go in at all. OK?'

'OK!' agreed Sonny with a smile.

Outside the booing and cat-calls were almost as loud as the previous cheers and whistles.

'We'd better get out of here before—' But I didn't get any further.

'What the hell d'you think you're playing at?' Mr Kosslick had arrived with a couple of heavy-duty minders.

The guys moved to stand in front of me, but I pushed my way through to stand with them.

'We're not playing,' I told him.

'You bitch! You were paid to play for me tonight,' said Mr Kosslick, glaring at me.

'And we did. We played one track so we've fulfilled our part of the deal,' I told him.

'I want my money back,' said Mr Kosslick, waving one of his muscle-heads forward.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you,' I warned him as Sonny tried to push me back out of harm's way.

'But you're not me – blanker-lover,' Kosslick hissed at me. 'I'm going to take pleasure in dealing with you personally—'

'Try it,' I challenged. 'My real name is Persephone Hadley and my dad's Kamal Hadley, the Deputy Prime Minister. And I promise you, if any of us gets so much as a chipped fingernail, you'll all be swinging from a rope before the week's out. So just try it.'

The muscle-head looked back at Mr Kosslick for guidance. Mr Kosslick didn't take his eyes off me. I looked straight back at him. He decided I wasn't bluffing.

'Let them go,' he told his minions. Then he turned to me. 'But don't you ever set foot in my club again.'

'Don't worry,' I said. 'We Midges are too good for this dump anyway.'

'You haven't heard the last of this,' Mr Kosslick called after us. 'Especially you, Miss Hadley.'

'I'm shaking,' I called back with contempt before we all entered the changing room.

But here's the funny thing – I
was
shaking inside.

We gathered up our stuff and left, across the stage and through the front door. And although we got a few boos and hand gestures, no one made a move to stop us. I have to say we got one or two genuine hand claps as well. One or two.

No one spoke. It was as if each of us was holding our breath until we got out of the club. And only when we were outside on the street and walking back to the van at the back of the club did we all fall about with spontaneous laughter – brought on by relief more than anything else.

'Oh my God! I thought we were dead!' I admitted.

'"My father's the Deputy Prime Minister!"' mimicked Sonny. 'I thought you didn't want anyone to know who you really were?'

'I don't. I didn't,' I shrugged. 'But I didn't fancy getting my head ripped off either, thank you very much. Sonny, don't forget that a quarter of that money in your pocket is mine.'

'I won't forget,' Sonny said wryly.

'Would your dad really have ridden to the rescue?' Jaxon asked.

'Are you kidding?' I told him, my smile disappearing. 'He'd probably have held their coats for them.'

I turned to Rhino, who hadn't said very much at all. My smile went unanswered, but I didn't mind. Rhino still didn't know what to make of me, but I wasn't public enemy number one any more. Maybe public enemy number two or three.

'Sephy, I think I underestimated you,' said Sonny.

And coming from him I knew it was a compliment. I didn't reply. I didn't need to.

Like I said, no one would ever play me for a fool again.

I've done absolutely nothing this weekend. Just sat around the flat, watching telly and eating and scheming. Andrew Dorn, the traitor in the
L.M.
is back at the top of my priority list now. I have money. Now I just need to figure out how to get to him. I still have friends in a few
L.M.
cells. Friends who would go out on a limb for me. And others who might, if the price is right. I want to get as close as I can to Andrew Dorn. I want to be the one to make him pay.

And I will.

The news is coming on now. I can't believe it's so late. But I don't want to see the news again. It'll be the same old, same old. Except for one of the later items first announced this evening. News about the hunt for Cara Imega's murderer.

Cara died this morning in hospital.