Knight for a Day (8 page)

Known to the Boys as:
The Old Geezer

Dream:
Outstanding Dragon Slayer

Reality:
Just plain out of it

Best-Kept Secret:
He can’t remember

Plans for the Future:
Taking a little nap

Coach Plungett spent many years questing in the Dark Forest before joining the Athletic Department at DSA. When at last he strode out of the forest, leaving his dragon-slaying days behind him, Coach Plungett was the most muscle-bulging, physically fit, manliest man to be found anywhere north of Nowhere Swamp. “I am what you call a hunk,” the coach admits. At DSA, Plungett wears a number of hats—or, helmets. Besides PE Teacher, he is Slaying Coach, Square-Dance Director, Pep-Squad Sponsor, and Privy Inspector. He hopes to meet a damsel—she needn’t be in distress—with whom he can share his love of heavy metal music and long dinners by candlelight.

Known to the Boys as:
Coach

Dream:
Tough as nails

Reality:
Sleeps with a stuffed dragon named Foofoo

Best-Kept Secret:
Just pull his hair

Plans for the Future:
Finding his lost lady love

Brother Dave is the DSA librarian. He belongs to the Little Brothers of the Peanut Brittle, an order known for doing impossibly good deeds and cooking up endless batches of sweet peanut candy. How exactly did Brother Dave wind up at Dragon Slayers’ Academy? After a batch of his extra-crunchy peanut brittle left three children from Toenail toothless, Brother Dave vowed to do a truly impossible good deed. Thus did he offer to be librarian at a school world-famous for considering reading and writing a complete and utter waste of time. Brother Dave hopes to change all that.

Known to the Boys as:
Bro Dave

Dream:
Boys reading in the libary

Reality:
Boys sleeping in the library

Best-Kept Secret:
Uses Cliff’s Notes

Plans for the Future:
Copying out all the lyrics to “Found a Peanut” for the boys

Professor Pluck graduated from Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers Prep, and went on to become a professor of Science at Dragon Slayers’ Academy. His specialty is the Multiple Choice Pop Test. The boys who take Dragon Science, Professor Pluck’s popular class,

Known to the Boys as:
Old Spit Face

Dream:
Proper pronunciation of
p
’s

Reality:
Let us spray

Best-Kept Secret:
Has never seen a pippi-hippopappa-peepus up close

Plans for the Future:
Is working on a cure for chapped lips

How Frypot came to be the cook at DSA is something of a mystery. Rumors abound. Some say that when Mordred bought the broken-down castle for his school, Frypot was already in the kitchen and he simply stayed on. Others say that Lady Lobelia hired Frypot because he was so speedy at washing dishes. Still others say Frypot knows many a dark secret that keeps him from losing his job. But no one ever, ever says that Frypot was hired because of his excellent cooking skills.

Known to the
Boys as:
Who needs a nickname with a real name like Frypot?

Dream:
Cleaner kitchen

Reality:
Kitchen cleaner

Best-Kept Secret:
Takes long bubble baths in the moat

Plans for the Future:
Has signed up for a beginning cooking class

Yorick is Chief Scout at DSA. His knack for masquerading as almost anything comes trom his years with the Merry Minstrels and Dancing Damsels Players, where he won an award for his role as the Glass Slipper in “Cinderella”. However, when he was passed over for the part of Mama Bear in “Goldilocks”, Yorick decided to seek a new way of life. He snuck off in the night and, by dawn, still dressed in the bear suit, found himself walking up Huntsmans Path. Mordred spied him from a castle window, recognized his talent for disguise, and hired him as Chief Scout on the spot.