Knockout Games (28 page)

“What are we going to do, Dad?”

He stopped and turned to face me. “I'm going to undo the biggest mistake I ever made. I'm taking you and your mother back home. You'll get back on track, go to your old school, graduate, then—”

“Then what?” I asked. I really didn't know.

His eyes couldn't hide the doubt. “Then . . . we'll pretend this whole thing never happened.”

We waited for the elevator. I could see he didn't believe his own words. I reached over and held his hand. He kept staring at the elevator door, but squeezed my hand back.

We had a family meeting. Actually, it was more like a fight, but after a while everyone calmed down. During a lull, I got a call from Destiny.

“They're being released. I just got a text from Prince,” she said.

“That was fast.”

“What are you gonna do?” she asked.

I listened to my parents. “We're fighting about it now.”

“We are not fighting,” said Dad. “We're discussing.”

“Are we?” asked Mom.

I held up five fingers, asking for a break. They didn't notice. I walked away to my room and closed the door. “We might be moving back to Little Rock.”

There was a long pause. “That would suck,” Destiny said. “For Little Rock, I mean.”

She still knew how to break the ice.

“There is one other option,” I said. “But my dad would kill me if he found out.”

“Like that's better than Kalvin killing you?”

I shuddered. “I really don't think Kalvin would do that. He'd be the first one the cops tracked down. Besides, I got him off, didn't I?”

“Technically. I don't think he'll see it that way.”

She paused for a long time, weighing the options. “Do you need help?” I didn't want her getting sucked into this. But I did need one thing.

“You can help me arrange a sit-down,” I asked.

“A sit-down? What're you, a mafia guy?”

I shrugged. “Even the mafia knows you have to respect a sit-down, especially with your enemies.”

“You know you're crazy, right? That's just in the movies.”

“I know . . . but will you just . . . text him and ask? Somewhere public. For tonight? Before we move away?”

“It's New Year's Eve,” she sighed. She was thinking it over. “Fuck it. Might as well ring in the new year with a bang.”

I hoped it wouldn't come to that.

She called me back ten minutes later.

“Tonight,” she said. “Taco Bell on Grand. Ten o' clock. But I'm coming with you. You'll need backup.”

“Fine. I just have to sneak out. I'm pretty sure we'll be on lockdown tonight. My mom might even stay home from work.”

“So how are you gonna pull that off?” she asked.

“Uh, I'll think of something. Did you talk to Prince? What're they doing?”

“Celebrating. You should see the TKO page. They talking shit like they're political prisoners set free. Say they gonna sue the city and all that kind of stuff. K's talking about how they're the Trayvon Martins of St. Louis.”

“Jesus. I know he doesn't believe that shit. He's just saying whatever will get him on the news.”

“They're already on the news. They've been the lead story today. You should check it out.”

I turned on my TV, flipped a few channels until I saw the news showing the crew emerge from juvie. Even their parents were out there cheering and high-fiving each other.

A reporter cornered Kalvin. “Of course, the case got thrown out,” he said. “They're always trying to profile us, 'cause of the way we dress. Some people get attacked and who do they look for? Black teens.”

The reporter asked him what he felt about the victim. “I don't hold no grudges. I feel sorry for Joe Lee and his wife. It's sad. Whoever did this is messed up.”

So what were they were going to do now? He shrugged. “Celebrate. Be with my family and start the New Year free. Just be happy to be out. I'm going to Taco Bell first thing.”

He looked into the camera and winked. At me.

44

Mom and Dad didn't say too much during dinner; we just resigned ourselves to the idea that we'd probably have to leave St. Louis. We'd sleep on it and talk more in the morning. Dad felt we'd be OK tonight, that no one was stupid enough to come after us on the day they got out of jail.

Still, just to be safe, he'd use the chair under the doorknob trick. And he'd be sleeping on the couch. With his gun.

Mom and Dad wanted to stay up and watch the ball drop in Times Square on TV. When 9:30 rolled around, I pretended to be tired and said I was gonna crash. Before I locked my door, Mom and Dad each came in and gave me a pep talk.

Mom was gentle. “I stare every night through a microscope at these cells, knowing that couples are out there praying for fertility. And some of them will go on to have babies and it's a miracle. But what I think about now is how they can never imagine what it's like when that baby grows up and something like this happens. You can get mad, say you'll disown them, but in the end, you're still our child. No matter what, we'll do what's best for you. We aren't going to let somebody else ruin our lives. The new year will bring us better things; you'll see.”

Dad took a more direct approach. “I almost hope that bastard tries something, because I'd be perfectly in my rights to shoot that son of a bitch. That'd be my New Year's resolution.” But then he let the bravado slip and he put his hand on my head. “We'll get through this, kid. And then we'll start over, OK?”

Each followed with a hug and a kiss and a good night.

I locked the door behind them.

When the TV in the living room came on and was loud enough, I opened my window and listened to the distant sirens coming out of this huge city. Then it sank in: how stupid was I to meet to meet Kalvin at night? They could be waiting for me in the parking lot to jump me.

“Hey!”

I looked down and saw Destiny standing on the sidewalk. “Are we doing this?” she whispered loudly.

I'd snuck out once before, shimmying down the drainpipe and almost killed myself. But I knew I'd caused all this. I brought this on my family. It was up to me to do something about it. To fix my own mess, as Dad always said.

I had no plan, just a feeling. I grabbed my camera, took a deep breath, and reached for the drainpipe.

When I walked into Taco Bell, I could see why Kalvin had picked it. It wasn't too crowded, just some teens loading up on burritos before hitting the parties, and a few homeless people escaping the cold. I didn't see Kalvin at first, but he was around the corner, back toward the bathrooms, sitting in a booth. Just him and Boner. He had his leg hanging out the side and I spotted my homemade tattoo faded and almost gone.

I expected him to be pissed, but instead when he saw me, his eyes lit up. He was all swagger. “Bet you didn't expect to see me again.”

Boner was wagging his little tail at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Destiny outside the window behind him. She hung back out of sight.

“I don't think they allow dogs in here,” I said.

“You kidding? He's the Taco Bell Chihuahua, ain't that right, Boner?” he said. Boner barked and Kalvin gave him some of his Burrito Supreme.

I slid into the booth across from him. I decided I'd just cut to the chase and took out my camera, putting it on the table between us.

He looked at it and chuckled. “Like old times, huh? I suppose you expect me to confess on camera or something?
Pleas
e . . .” He picked it up and turned it on. “I am innocent,” he said into the lens.

Then he just sat there staring at me, trying to read my mind.

“What?” I asked.

“No New Year's Eve kiss?”

I started to leave, but he laughed it off. “It's a joke. Just trying to make this less awkward.”

“That didn't help.”

“Fine. Come on, why don't you sit next to me,” he said. “I won't bite.”

He wasn't going to make this easy. I glanced quickly over at Destiny lurking in the background. There were enough people around that he wouldn't make a scene. Plus I spotted the surveillance cameras in the corners.

“Come on, I need to be careful,” he said.

“I'm fine here.”

“Suit yourself.” He got up and moved into my side of the booth. I was about to climb over the back, but he reached out and held my hand. “That's not the way to treat the guy you almost fucked over for life, is it? Just relax.”

I slid up against the wall. He smiled, then leaned in and touched the zipper on my jacket. I flinched.

“Don't worry. I need to see if you're wearing a wire,” he whispered.

“I'm pretty sure minors can't wear a wire,” I said.

He shook his head and slowly pulled the zipper down. “Still. Can't be too careful, no?”

I took a quick look over my shoulder. Destiny wasn't outside the window anymore. Kalvin slipped his hand inside the jacket, where it came to rest on my chest. I lost my breath, panicked, and scanned the main room, where I spotted Destiny sitting at a table near the front door. She had a confused look in her eyes, wondering why we weren't talking.

Kalvin watched me closely as he moved his hand down my front. When his fingers touched my breast, I caught my breath. I was sure he could feel my heart racing.

He sighed. “Memories. That's all I got.”

He cupped my breast for a few seconds and smiled to himself. Boner watched me with his big eyes, trembling. Then Kalvin's hand continued to wander down, over my stomach. He paused when he came to my belt.

I looked him in the face, but his eyes were closed. His hand slipped down into my panties, but I jumped, grabbed his arm, and pulled it out.

The dog jumped down and hid behind my feet. Kalvin shook his head, disappointed. “Sorry, you never know where they'll hide a wire these days.”

“I'm not wearing a fucking wire,” I said, cold as ice.

He sat back, almost admiring me. “If I hadn't slept with you . . . I might think you were a guy. You got balls, girl.”

I wasn't sure if that was a compliment or a threat.

He picked up my camera and began fiddling with it. I noticed it was still on. “Normally, if someone tried to fuck me over like you did, that person would be in the hospital. Or worse.” His eyes bore holes into mine. “You'd find out pretty quick what pain was.”

I let him talk. I suppose that's the least I could do. At least the camera would record everything.

“I'd probably do it myself too, even though I try not to get my hands dirty these days. Just got a manicure today,” he joked.

I didn't laugh.

“So, we're sitting.” He leveled his gaze at me. “What do you want, Erica? To say you're sorry? To say you didn't mean to do it, but they made you confess? That you wanna rejoin the crew? Get back together?”

I stared him down. “No. I want to know what I have to do so you'll leave me and my family alone.”

He slowly nodded. “A deal. You came to make a deal. Without even apologizing?”

“You mean for how you manipulated everyone to do what you wanted . . . including me?”

He didn't seem offended. “You're stronger than you think, Erica. I didn't
make
you do anything. You
wanted
to do it. You were just afraid to admit it. I'm living the life most people don't dare to. A life that ignores the rules. A life that knows we're all animals inside and acts on it. That's the only difference.”

“So by that way of thinking, maybe you agreed to show up because you thought I'd . . . sleep with you again?”

That kind of caught him off guard. “Oh, that's cold.” Then he thought about it. “You'd sell your body just for me to leave you all alone?”

“That's not what I said.”

He pondered that thought, then he let out a long sigh. “Maybe that's what you meant, though. But as much as I'd like to take up your offer—and it's a good one—” he looked me up and down again. “I had something . . . different in mind.”