Knot Gneiss (7 page)

“Then let’s be on our way,” Wenda said, mounting her bicycle, which she had been walking in the castle.

“No need to carry me farther,” Meryl told Jumper. “I can fly.” Then she paused, reconsidering. “Of course I have to do it bare.”

No problem,
Jumper thought.
I’ll ride with Wenda.

But Meryl didn’t get off immediately. “Jumper, I’m sorry your big spider and man forms freaked me out. I think that won’t happen again, now that I’m getting to know you. You carried me; would you like me to carry you? You could get quite a view of things, from the sky.”

That would be interesting. If you don’t mind having a spider in your hair.

“Not anymore.” Meryl spread her wings, lifted off him, and hovered.

The unicorn vanished. Meryl put her head down low. Wenda couldn’t see anything, but then came Jumper’s thought.
I’m on.

Meryl flew upward. Dipper joined her. In two and a half moments they were high in the sky.

That left Wenda on her bike and Ida on her magic carpet. “Perhaps this is just as well,” Ida said.

“Just as well?” Wenda asked uncertainly.

“We need to talk. I couldn’t do it while Dipper was with us.”

“Dipper’s all right,” Wenda said.

“Of course he is. I mean, he doesn’t know my talent. So he is free to suggest things I can make come true. That’s valuable, and I don’t want him to find out any sooner than is needful. As you know, only a person who does not know my talent can make a suggestion I can use.”

“Oh. Of course. But he is sure to figure it out before long.”

“Yes. Then there will be no one in our little party who can effectively suggest things. We will be limited.”

“I suppose so,” Wenda agreed.

“But there’s another matter,” Ida continued inexorably. “I am concerned that someone knows our mission.”

“We haven’t told anyone,” Wenda protested.

“Neither has anyone at Castle Roogna. But I have an intuition that news has leaked.”

“Prince Charming wouldn’t tell. And neither would Demoness Eris.”

“It may be that the number of folk who know it exceeds the critical number, so that a leak is inevitable. It’s a rule of magic the Good Magician espouses. It does not mean that anyone is telling, just that the secret cannot be contained.”

“I suppose so,” Wenda agreed uneasily.

“That means we must accomplish the mission as rapidly as possible, and be prepared for opposition.”

“I wouldn’t know how to handle opposition,” Wenda said.

“We shall simply have to avoid it. I merely wanted you to know it is to be expected.”

“This is already more complicated than I expected!”

“There is more. I have been provided with special magic that should help. But it may be awkward to apply.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It is the humidor.”

“The what?”

Ida got off her carpet, rolled it up, put it in her handbag, brought out a small box and opened it. Inside were a vial of clear liquid and a glass tube with a sponge in it. “The humidor is a device to keep the interior of the box humid. The vial contains water. When the sponge is wetted, the humidifying action starts. The effect is temporary, but it should enable us to escape from a difficult situation.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“You will, in due course. If there is a crisis, and you see me opening the box, gather the rest of the party in close. This is important. Can you do that?”

“I’ll try,” Wenda said bravely. She was thoroughly confused.

“With luck, I won’t have to invoke the humidor.”

But almost immediately the luck went bad. The first sign of it was the return of Meryl and Dipper.

“Harpies!” the bird exclaimed. “A squadron!”

“Carrying baskets,” Meryl said as she landed on her tail. “We don’t like the look of this.”

Their minds are hostile,
Jumper’s thought came.

“Maybe they’re just passing by,” Wenda said hopefully.

But they weren’t. “There they are!” one screeched. “Bomb them!”

The flight zoomed low, passing just overhead. The harpies passed just overhead, releasing eggs. The eggs exploded as they struck the ground. Balls of putrid smoke roiled up.

Jumper appeared as the giant spider. “We’re lucky their aim was bad,” he said. “But they’ll zero in next time. I’ll try to catch the eggs before they strike.”

“There are too many,” Wenda said. “Some will get through, and hurt us.”

Ida brought out her box.

“Gather in close!” Wenda cried. “All together, right here!”

The others didn’t understand, but obeyed. They gathered closely around as the harpies turned in the sky, orienting for another pass.

Ida opened the vial and shook a drop of water into the sponge. Immediately mist emerged, expanding into a fog that formed a ball around them. In the fog a door formed.

“Open it!” Ida cried. “Go through it!”

They piled through as the harpies dive-bombed again. Ida slammed the door behind them just as the bombs detonated. They were safe.

“Where are we?” Meryl asked in wonder.

Wenda looked around. They were on a sloping blue field. To one side was a stand of yellow trees. To the other was a red stream.

“I don’t think we’re in Xanth anymore,” Dipper said.

“We are on the world of Comic,” Ida said. “I’m sorry we had to come here, but those harpies were ruthless.”

“Why were the harpies after us?” Jumper asked. He remained in giant-spider form, but Meryl was no longer freaking out.

“They know or suspect our mission,” Ida said.

“Then why not just go for the Knot? Why waste eggs on us?”

“They don’t know where the Knot is. They were out to stun and capture us, so as to make us lead them to it.”

“That’s not nice!” Wenda protested.

“And they want the Knot Gneiss,” Jumper said, radiating a telepathic smile. “Though it’s not gneiss.”

“So someone has leaked,” Wenda said.

“Isn’t that a bad word?” Meryl asked.

“Very bad,” Wenda said. “It means that someone who knows our Quest has told others, so that now there are wrong hands eager to have the Not fall into them.”

“Who would do that?” Meryl asked, frowning.

“Oops,” Jumper said.

“Not you!” Wenda said sharply.

“Not me. But when we passed Sesame Serpent, the moat monster, I caught an awareness in her mind. I think Soufflé told her, so she would know not to eat us, and she did not realize it was supposed to be secret.”

“So it got out among monsters,” Meryl said. “And to the winged monsters. We do like to gossip.”

“You call yourself a winged monster,” Wenda said, “but you’re beautiful.”

“It’s not an insult. Dragons, griffins, rocs, harpies, fairies, winged centaurs, crossbreeds like me—we’re all winged monsters, and proud of it. We’re all beautiful to each other.”

“Harpies think they’re beautiful?” Wenda asked.

“Oh, yes! It’s just that some other species don’t properly appreciate them.”

“As we don’t,” Ida said. “Not at the moment, at least.”

“So now we know what we’re in for,” Wenda said. “But about this world—Comic, you called it?—we can’t stay here if we want to accomplish the Quest. Is there a door back to Xanth?”

“There are many doors to Xanth,” Ida said. “But reaching them is awkward.”

“Awkward?”

“They are cunningly hidden in the Strips.”

“I’ve heard of those,” Meryl said. “Hopelessly infested with abysmal puns. But aren’t they on your moon, Terra?”

“Ptero,” Ida said. “Yes they are, as boundaries. But Comic is a sister world where the great majority of the Strips exist. It’s almost unpopulated, for some reason.”

“I can’t think why,” Meryl said, and the others laughed. Puns were a natural part of Xanth, but the Strips were so concentrated nobody could stand them for long.

“So the Good Magician deemed this world a good place to put the Doors, as they would not be abused by others. They serve as a way to escape difficult situations. The return Doors open randomly in Xanth, so they are not convenient for traveling; a person would be lucky to find himself anywhere near his destination. But when there is danger, they can be useful.”

“That’s why you’re on this Quest!” Dipper explained. “To help us escape danger!”

“Yes, in part,” Ida agreed.

Wenda kept silent. It was important that Dipper not know about Ida’s talent of making Ideas come true. She was a full Sorceress, though she did not act like it.

“And you just did that by conjuring the Door that brought us here,” Jumper said. “But we shouldn’t dawdle here too long.”

“Actually it doesn’t matter,” Ida said. “Time is frozen. That is, when we return to Xanth, no time will have passed. That’s part of the magic. We could remain here for months, and it wouldn’t make a difference there.”

“Something else,” Meryl said. “If this is a sister world to Ptero, how can you be here? Isn’t it orbiting your head?”

“That is complicated to explain completely,” Ida said. “But I will try to simplify it. Ptero looks small, and for a long time we thought it really was small, but actually it’s a full-size world. People on it see another world orbiting the head of Ida on it, and so on, each tiny in comparison. But appearance is not reality; via the magic of perspective they look small in the distance, but are not. They form a phenomenal loop, so it is possible to complete it and return to Xanth. I have done it. They can be visited conveniently by souls, but it is also possible to travel to them physically with the right magic. So the Doors are a way. I retain my connection to the chain via the image of Ptero, but that does not limit me.”

“Okay,” Meryl agreed uncertainly. Wenda could appreciate why; this was indeed complicated.

“Still, we have no reason to delay,” Jumper said. “We have to return to Xanth and complete our mission. We may not know where we will land, but once there we should be able to find our way.”

“We surely will,” Ida said agreeably. But Wenda knew that this wasn’t guaranteed, because Jumper knew Ida’s talent. His suggestion would not magically become reality. Not unless Dipper suggested it. And they couldn’t ask the bird to do that; it was too likely to give away the talent.

Ida brought out her carpet, unrolled it, and got on it. They walked, floated, and flew toward the nearest Comic Strip. “In there?” Meryl asked dubiously.

“We need to find a Sidewalk,” Ida said, putting away her carpet again. She seemed to feel that the carpet would be more of a liability than an asset in the Strip. “Then we walk sidewise to find the Door.”

“Have any of you been in a Comic Strip before?” Ida asked.

None had.

“Then I need to warn you that it rapidly becomes tiresome. Fortunately the Strips are not deep; if you feel overwhelmed, try to get outside, and the effects will cease. Meanwhile we will need to stay grouped, so that we can go through the Door together, because once a Door is used, and closes, it orients on a different spot in Xanth. We don’t want to get separated.”

The others shared a glance of agreement. Still, Wenda didn’t see what could be so bad about innocent puns. They might be annoying or embarrassing or inconvenient, but surely they were harmless.

“Maybe we should link hands,” Meryl suggested. “Then two others can pull me along just above the ground.”

“I would have to change form,” Jumper said.

“Maybe I can handle that now.”

He assumed naked manform. Meryl took one hand and Wenda took the other. Ida took Wenda’s free hand. Neither Meryl nor Ida looked directly at Jumper.

“I can’t change form,” Dipper said.

“Perch on my shoulder,” Wenda said. “And don’t let go.”

Dipper flew to her and perched.

Thus linked, they stepped across the marked border that delineated the Strip.

Immediately they were in a patch of green, yellow, and red plants that were shaped like pepper mills. They were flinging up colored coins, which puffed into clouds of dust.

Wenda took a breath—and choked. It was pepper!

Then all of them were coughing and sneezing violently, their eyes tearing so badly it was impossible to see. But they dared not let go of one another, lest they get separated in the Strip and be lost. Whatever they suffered here, they had to be together.

They had to get out of this pepper patch. But how, when they couldn’t even see?

“This—
sneeze!
—is peppermint!” Meryl exclaimed. “Minting—
sneeze!
—coins! We have to—
sneeze!
—nullify it!”

“But—
sneeze!
—how?” Wenda demanded.

“I have a—
sneeze!
—idea,” Dipper said. He was not immune to the clouds of pepper. “Find a—
sneeze!
—salt mint.”

“But we can’t—
sneeze!
—let go of each—
sneeze!
—other,” Meryl protested.

“I will—
sneeze!
—have to change,” Jumper said. Then his hand in Wenda’s hand changed to the foot of the giant spider.

Through bleary eyes she watched him spread out his other legs, searching through the patch. Then he found something, and lifted it high. And in barely a moment the clouds of pepper dissipated.

“Salt mint,” he said, as they all recovered their breaths.

Salt to abate the pepper. That made sense in this crazy region. “Thank you,” Wenda gasped.

Jumper remained in giant-spider form. Meryl still held his foot, now acclimatized to that shape.

They were through the peppermint patch. But they were not out of the Strip, and they had not yet found the Sidewalk.

Before them was a narrowing path between mountainous slopes. It was a V-shaped valley, blocked by what looked like a giant stone ear. There was no way around it, especially since they had to remain linked by the hands.

“This is surely a pun,” Ida said. “Because everything here is puns. But fathoming its nature is only part of the problem; we will need to find a way to nullify it so we can pass.”

“What would nullify a stone ear?” Meryl asked.

“Maybe a really nasty sound,” Dipper said.

That gave Wenda an idea. She knew of the nastiest sound in the forest, based on a pun. There ought to be one here, since all the most villainous puns were here. She gazed around, and spied one growing on the steep slope. But it was out of reach.