Lacy (39 page)

He asked about Faye, and they told him that she
was settled and happy, that everything was going to work out.

"I'll miss her," Ira said quietly.
"But I'll never forget what you and Lacy have done for her, Cole."

"She'll be fine, Ira," Lacy assured
him. "We're going to bring her home for Christmas. You can come, too.
There's always plenty of Christmas dinner."

"Well, that's mighty kind of you," Ira
said, "but I might go see my brother in Houston—and let Faye enjoy being
on her own this year." He smiled, his eyes a little bloodshot. But
amazingly he was sober. "She said she won't marry Ben."

"She may change her mind," Cole told
him. "Ben's learned a hard lesson. He's growing up."

"He's lucky he can. War killed a lot of
boys not much older than him."

"Amen," Cole said grimly.

Ira put the car back in gear. "I'll go
along. Nice seeing you."

He threw up his hand and careened off down the
road. Cole turned back to Lacy, hesitated, and with a laugh pulled her close to
kiss her all over again.

BEN PICKED UP THE LETTER
from
home at the front desk of his Paris hotel. He sat down heavily on the bed in
his small room. It creaked noisily, but he barely heard it. Lacy's letter was
full of news, but foremost was the information that Faye didn't want to get
married, thank you. She'd raise her child alone. Furthermore she had a job now
and a life of her own, away from her alcoholic parent. She was radiant, Lacy
said apologetically, and enjoying her freedom.

He let the letter slip from his hands. So it was
going to be like that. He'd hurt her so badly that she no longer wanted him.
Perhaps he deserved it, but he felt as if he'd been mule-kicked.

His head dropped into his hands. Poor little
Faye, all alone and pregnant. He'd done her wrong. Really wrong.

The door opened without a knock, and he looked
up to see the tenant next door with a bottle of wine and a tin of biscuits. She
was redheaded and very Parisian. He liked her, but she didn't really fill the
soft spot he had for Faye, even if she was very good in bed.

"Que veuz-tu, cheri?" she asked,
smiling wickedly. "Vin, dejeuner, ou moi?"

He shrugged. "Je ne sais pas," he
murmured weakly. "Cette lettre est tres triste. C'est de ma famille."

"Pauvre garcon," she said, coming to
sit beside him. "Viens, mon brave. Je te console."

He drew back, his mind full of Faye. But the
redhead slowly unbuttoned her blouse and tugged it off, smiling invitingly. She
had big, firm breasts with enormous pink nipples. They were hard now, and Ben
bent toward them with a long sigh. At his age, he told himself, consolation
shouldn't be underrated. He opened his mouth and heard the redhead begin to
moan. At least he hadn't lost his touch. He slid between her soft thighs and,
moving aside only the necessary things, he plunged into her with sheer
desperation. She accommodated him easily and without fuss, her body adjusting
to his weight as the bedsprings began to protest noisily, drowning out her
heated cries and his harsh groan. It was nothing like the tenderness he'd
shared with Faye, and that was a good thing. He couldn't bear to think about
her at all. On the floor, the letter lay as white as the snow drifting down on
the Arc de Triomphe further along the street.

CHRISTMAS PROMISED TO BE
the
best ever at the ranch. Despite the lack of money, Lacy and Katy made
hand-crafted gifts for friends and neighbors and spent days in the kitchen
cooking.

"You look so much better," Lacy told
her sister-in-law affectionately.

"I suppose I'm not dwelling on it as
much," Katy replied. She was wearing a very simple blue dress and no
makeup; her hair was in a long pony tail. She seemed younger than ever, and
less brittle. "I won't ever forget. I don't think I should. Danny's death
taught me a tragic lesson."

"I'm glad you came home," the older
woman said gently. "We missed you. Even Turk wasn't quite the same."

Katy sighed ruefully. "Turk feels guilty
about the baby," she said quietly. She knew that Cole had told Lacy,
although for Marion's sake, he'd made sure that none of the neighbors knew.
He'd spared his mother and Katy the gossip and unpleasantness of public
censure. And at home, too, there were no recriminations for Katy. Everyone felt
that she'd suffered enough. "That's all it is. He's around quite a lot
lately, but it's all very correct and formal."

"Because he knows you aren't ready for
anything more," Lacy stressed. "He'll wait until you are."

"What if I never am?" Katy's green
eyes were sad, stormy. "You don't know what happened, do you? Even as
close as you are, Cole wouldn't have told you."

"It's no one's business but yours,"
Lacy said, smiling gently. "You know we love you."

"That's all that's kept me sane." Katy
put down her drying cloth with a sigh as she finished the last bit of
silverware. "It seems like a bad dream, sometimes, until I remember.
Danny's eyes were open, Lacy. Staring straight at me. So much blood..."
She shivered.

"He hurt you," Lacy said shortly.
"A man who beats a woman deserves whatever he gets!"

Katy grimaced. "Maybe so. But I feel as if
I caused it. I was with Wardell and Danny saw us, Lacy," she told her, her
face shamed as she watched shock tauten the other woman's face. Lacy liked to
think that she was modern, but she really wasn't.

"Oh.. .my," Lacy said hesitantly.

"There's never been anybody but Cole for
you, has there?" Katy asked, noticing the uncomfortable expression on
Lacy's face. "That's the way it should be. But I couldn't have Turk, and
Danny wanted to marry me. I took the coward's way out. It was terrible,"
she said, swallowing as she remembered. "I never knew men could be so
violent, so cruel. If it hadn't been for Wardell, I think Danny might have
actually killed me!"

"This man Wardell," Lacy said,
absorbing the shock slowly, "he cared about you?"

"Oh, yes." She lowered her eyes.
"Wardell loved me. I was drunk—and Danny's made sure I knew that Wardell's
business was more important than my prudishness, that I was to do whatever

Wardell wanted or..." She shuddered.
"Wardell reminded me so much of Turk at first. I could have loved him,
Lacy. He cared so much about me; he was good to me. It's easy to love someone
like that. Wardell wanted to get me away from Danny, but I was afraid Danny
might kill him."

"That's why you wouldn't tell Cole, either,
wasn't it?"

Katy nodded, her green eyes dull. "I didn't
want anyone hurt because of me. I'm glad Blake won't go to prison. He was kind.
He would have protected me if I'd left Danny, and asked for nothing. He didn't
force me," she added, concerned that Lacy might think he had. "I
agreed. It wasn't all fear of Danny, though. You see, Wardell is.. .very
special. Like.. .Turk," she said falteringly.

"You've never stopped loving our Turk,
really, have you?" Lacy asked, her eyes intent on Katy's pale face.

"I can't. He doesn't know," she added,
averting her face. "I've got just enough pride left to keep my distance
from him. He's very upset about the baby—and about what happened to me—but that
isn't love, Lacy. That's pity. I'd rather have nothing than that. And he's
disgusted about Blake, as well. I saw how he looked at me every time Blake's
name was mentioned." She gnawed her lower lip. "He holds me in
contempt for that night. He probably thinks I've got Danny's death on my soul
because of it."

"Turk isn't like that," Lacy chided
gently. "He cares about you."

"Not the way I want him to." Katy
shifted restlessly. "Oh, Lacy, my life is in pieces! Perhaps I should have
gone to Blake. At least he loved me. He tried so hard to protect me."

"I'm afraid he's still trying," Lacy
murmured, peeking out the doorway to make sure no one was listening. "He
talks to Cole quite often, checking on you."

Katy caught her breath. She knew the mobster had
been acquitted, and she was fiercely glad. Despite the fact that her heart was
forever Turk's, she was never going to be able to fully forget the pleasure
she'd known in Wardell's arms that long night. A tiny part of her would always
belong to him—despite her feelings for Turk.

"He's all right?" Katy asked in spite
of herself.

"Quite all right. He's opened a legitimate
business and divested himself of his gambling interests," she said.
"And he's made some very firm veiled threats about what he'll do to the
'blond ace' if he doesn't make you happy!"

Katy twisted her wedding ring nervously. She'd
left it on her finger out of guilt and remorse over Danny's death.

"I'm glad he's going straight. He's a good
man, in his way." She looked up. "He wouldn't really hurt Turk,"
she added. "He's not that kind of man."

Lacy had never seen a mobster except for Danny.
She was curious. "What does Mr. Wardell look like?" she asked.

Katy smiled at the curiosity despite herself.
"He's forty-one," she told Lacy. "Very big and dark and
masculine, nice-mannered and kind. He's wealthy, too. But he's so alone, Lacy.
He never seemed to belong anywhere. People respected him in Chicago, but they
were afraid of him, too. He was always alone. Even his men kept their
distance."

"That's sad."

"I might have died but for him," Katy
said, staring out the window. "Danny had gone out after he hit me. He
hardly even stopped long enough to make sure I wasn't dead. When I miscarried,
he wasn't home. His mother was out; there was no one. Then Blake came by
looking for me. He got me to the hospital, sat with me. He took me home when it
was time, and brought roses with him to cheer up my room. Danny didn't come
home for days. He didn't seem to understand about my losing the baby, or even
to care. But Blake did."

Lacy was touched. "I'm glad he cared enough
to look out for you.

"I wish I could have cared for him,"
Katy replied. "It's so hopeless, Lacy. I can't bear to be touched."
"Give yourself time."

"Perhaps I should go back to Chicago," Katy said, thinking aloud. "It would be better for Turk. It torments
him to see me every day. He's changed so... Haven't you noticed? That's my
fault, too. He isn't happy. He can hardly bear to look at me."

Lacy stared at her. "Do you love him,
Katy?"

"With all my heart," she whispered.
"But since Danny got killed I feel dead inside. I'm frozen up."

"I can understand that," the other
woman said sympathetically. "But you aren't giving Turk credit for his own
feelings. It isn't guilt that makes him sit and stare at you every evening, or
pity that keeps him on the ranch when the other men go to town to carouse."

Katy flushed. "Isn't it?"

"I think I know how a man looks when he's
in love," Lacy said, smiling wistfully.

Grateful for the change of subject, Katy smiled.
"It's hard to miss, all right," she agreed. "If anyone had told
me ten years ago that my big brother would lounge around like a lovesick bull
over any woman, I'd have laughed. He's a case!" "So

am I Lacy sighed. "I never dreamed of so
much happiness!"

"I'm glad for both of you," Katy said.
"I'll never forget how you looked the day Cole went off to war. You're
lucky to be so happy in love. I seemed doomed to the reverse."

Lacy took off her apron and moved away from the
sink. "Christmas is just around the corner," she told Katy. "We
have to finish making the decorations for the tree. That should keep you from
feeling so morose."

"Turk wants to take me to a movie,"
Katy said, her green eyes troubled as she looked at Lacy. "I don't know if
it's a good idea."

"Of course it is." She took Katy's
hands in hers. "Try to remember how you felt about him before all this
came up. I remember watching you sit and just look at him when he was working
with your heart in your eyes. That much feeling can't be totally lost."

"Just buried," Katy murmured, and
flushed, remembering what Turk had said about digging it back up again. But
lately he hadn't said anything personal, which was why she felt so depressed.
Perhaps he didn't want a deeper relationship, after all—now that he knew about
Wardell. Perhaps he didn't want to soil his hands with her...