Lady of Light (30 page)

“Aye, they were indeed.”

Another silence fell, as they both seemed to think it time to take a sip of their tea. The beverage was hot and strong, and just what Claire needed. She found myriad excuses, though, from stirring sugar into her tea, to retasting it, to then fiddling with her spoon, to avoid meeting the young priest’s gaze.

“How have things been going for you at Culdee Creek, Claire?” Noah finally asked. “You’ve been here about two months now, and I’ve been meaning to ask how you and Ian were doing.”

Claire’s glance, which had momentarily lifted when he first spoke, fell back to her tea. Maddening tears filled her eyes. Though she fought fiercely to hold them back, they seemed to have a mind of their own, and gushed forth as copiously as the emotions they presaged.

“Och, I don’t know how things are going anymore,” she sobbed, burying her face in her hands. “Ian’s in trouble at school. I-I can’t seem to cook a decent meal or hold up my end in supporting Evan s-since his parents left. I can b-barely abide Hannah in my house since I discovered she was Evan’s great love, and I feel like E-Evan and I-I are slowly drifting apart.”

“Whoa, hold on there.” Noah laid a hand on her bent head, caressing it gently. “Let’s start from the beginning here, which, if I don’t miss my guess, stems mostly from problems with your marriage.”

“A-aye, I suppose s-so,” she wept.

“How did you find out about Hannah?” He pulled back his hand, paused, then shoved a big, white handkerchief into her line of vision. “Evidently Evan didn’t tell you, or you wouldn’t be so upset.”

“Mary S-Sue.” Claire took the handkerchief. Lifting her head, she wiped her eyes, then blew her nose. “She told me all about them one day before the quilting society meeting.”

Noah sighed and shook his head. “When
will
that girl cease her vendetta against Hannah? I’ve yet to understand why Mary Sue hates her so.”

“Who wouldn’t be jealous of Hannah? She’s so beautiful and kind, and I’ve yet to see a man—no matter the age—who doesn’t gaze on her with yearning and admiration.” Claire blew her nose again. “I fear Evan may love her still. Why else hasn’t he ever told me about her?”

The priest’s mouth quirked. “Men, poor sad fools that we sometimes are, can frequently err in how we decide to protect someone we love. I’m willing to bet that’s exactly what Evan thought he was doing, especially when he knew you and Hannah would be living so near each other.”

“Mayhap,” she admitted with a sniffle, “but it was hurtful, nonetheless, what he did. It would’ve been far more easily accepted if I’d heard the truth from him first, rather than from some gossipy, spiteful girl.”

“Yes, it would’ve.” Frowning in thought, Noah leaned back in his chair. “The Lord, though, is offering you an opportunity to grow beyond this, Claire. Love can have no strings on it, but must be given freely through good times and bad. And you and I both know Evan is a good man. He’s just new at being a husband.”

“Well, I’m new at being a wife,” she wailed, “but I haven’t betrayed—” She stopped short, as the recollection of her admiring thoughts about Noah Starr flooded her. Heat surged up to warm her cheeks. Claire looked away.

She hadn’t exactly
betrayed
her husband, she thought, struggling to justify her earlier actions. She had just been so very grateful to Noah for protecting her from Brody Gerard, that she had overstepped herself. Besides, she had been half-dizzy with fear and relief. That would’ve made anyone’s head spin, and thoughts take surprising turns.

Surely a passing attraction for a kind, handsome man was hardly the same as her husband’s secretly, and perhaps still deeply held, affection for an old flame.

“Listen to me, Claire.” As if to add emphasis to his next words, the priest leaned across the table and took both of her hands, holding them between his. “You’ve got to talk to Evan about this right away. Marriage requires more than just love. It requires trust, respect, and a deep, abiding commitment day in and day out. After the first flush of the courtship and honeymoon are over, at times you have to work at the marriage, laying a strong foundation for the years to come.”

She gave an unsteady laugh. “And how would you know what a marriage takes? Have you ever been in love, much less wed?”

Noah smiled sadly. “No, I’ve yet to marry, but I’ve fancied myself in love a few times. My most enduring relationship, though, has been with that of the greatest Lover of all—the Lord. And I’ll tell you true, Claire, it hasn’t always been easy. There have been times I wanted to give up, turn my back on Him, because following in His footsteps was so very hard. There were times when I felt as if He had deserted me, even betrayed me to my enemies. And I know there will be times like that again, too. Each day I have to start anew, and hope my love for God will carry me through.

“Don’t you see?” he finished, giving her hands a squeeze. “Though I’ve never been married, I do know something about love and commitment.”

Claire gazed at Noah’s dear, earnest face and knew he spoke from the heart. There was wisdom in his words, though it would take time for her to sort through it all. But sort through it all she would. It was the very least she owed to Evan—and their marriage.

A smile of dawning hope on her lips, Claire leaned toward him. “Thank you. I’ll—”

“Well, there you are, Nephew!” Just then Millie rounded the corner and caught sight of Noah. “I was beginning to wonder—” His aunt’s voice faded as she apparently noticed Claire, her hands still clasped in Noah’s. “Well, land sakes,” she whispered in surprise, glancing from one to the other. “Land sakes …”

There was a movement behind her, and another woman stepped quickly into view. Her eyes widened at the scene before her. Then, ever so slowly, a smile lifted her lips.

Meeting Mary Sue Edgerton’s avid gaze, Claire’s stomach gave a great lurch. Then, noting the direction the girl was staring, Claire glanced back and saw her hands still clasped within Noah’s. She blushed furiously and swiftly pulled free.

It was too late, though. A triumphant, calculating gleam had flared to life in Mary Sue’s eyes. And, somehow, Claire doubted the girl’s assessment of their innocent meeting boded well—for either her or the Reverend Noah Starr.

17

Nothing is secret, that shall not be made manifest; neither any thing hid, that shall not be known.

Luke 8:17

That afternoon, once lunch had been served and the dishes washed and put away, Claire sought out Ian. She soon found him on the front porch with Beth. The two made a sweetly innocent pair, sitting with hands clasped together on the whitewashed swing, talking softly as they swayed to and fro. Claire was almost tempted to tiptoe away and leave them to their harmless little tryst.

Almost.

There were things, however, that needed to be discussed and hopefully resolved with her brother, things that wouldn’t improve with waiting. Some of those things not only involved school, but had to do with Beth.

Claire pushed open the screen door and walked out onto the porch. As the door closed with a sharp snap, two heads swung around. Two pairs of eyes stared at her in surprise. Then Beth blushed and slowly extricated her hand from Ian’s.

Though Claire noted the guilty action, she chose not to make mention of it. “We need to talk, Ian,” she said instead. “Now.”

Her brother scowled. “It isn’t aught Beth hasn’t heard. We can talk out here.”

“Nay,”—Claire shook her head—“this is between you and me, brother, and I’m feeling in need of a nice long walk, so come along with you.”

For a fleeting moment, as Ian’s eyes narrowed and his mouth tightened, Claire almost imagined he was on the verge of refusing. Then Beth rose and gave him a playful shove.

“Get on with you,” she said, mimicking his speech and accent. “You hardly see Claire anymore, save for meals. A walk with her might do you a world of good.”

At her prompting, Ian’s mood dramatically changed. A big smile cracked his taut features. He leaped from the swing.

“Aye, you’re right, of course,” he said with a laugh. “I
have
been neglecting my sister of late.” With a jaunty stride, he walked over to stand before Claire. “Well,” he demanded, offering her his arm, “shall we be off, madam?”

She eyed him with wry amusement and took his arm, even as she silently noted how increasingly temperamental her brother had become of late. “You’re quite the gallant these days, aren’t you?” she muttered instead, holding her tongue on what she was really thinking.

They stepped down off the porch and headed toward the ponderosa pine forest growing on the hills behind Devlin and Hannah’s house. “It wouldn’t have aught to do with a certain black-haired girl, would it?” Claire queried with an impish grin as they walked along. “Your sudden show of gallant behavior, I mean?”

“It might.” Ian’s hand slid down her arm to now clasp her hand. “I wouldn’t think, though, you’d be complaining about any improvement in my manners.”

“Och, I’d never do that.” She strolled along for a while longer and, when they finally passed the foreman’s house and reached the first of the shaggy pines, Claire halted. “It seems, though, when it comes to school, that your good manners extend only to Beth and no further. Why is that, Ian?”

The now familiar scowl darkened his features once more. “Why is that?” he repeated, meeting her questioning gaze with a defiant one of his own. “Because Elizabeth’s the only one at school who treats me with respect. From the first day, there was a group of other students who laughed whenever I talked. They said I sounded funny. It got so bad that I even stopped reciting in class or doing any ciphering up at the blackboard. But no one—
no one
—laughs at me and gets away with it for long.”

Claire sighed, recalling that her brother hadn’t seemed to mind at all when Beth had so recently teasingly imitated his speech. “Och, Ian, can’t you give the others a chance to get used to you? Surely not all the children act so ignorantly?”

He shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. The rest of them just sit there and stare.”

“Miss Westerman says this wasn’t the first time you were caught fighting. She claims you get into fights at least twice a week.”

“Mayhap I do. What of it?”

She couldn’t believe the sullen tone that had crept into her brother’s voice. “
What of it?
Ian, this fighting can’t continue! This place is a fresh start for the both of us. Are you so blind you can’t see how your fighting threatens that?”

He reddened. “And what of you?” Ian countered fiercely. “I can’t see how your fresh start is working out all that well for you.”

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Claire stammered, nonplussed as the sudden turn of the conversation now seemed to focus on her. “I have a new husband, a new home—”

“And I’ve never seen you mope about so, or wear such a long face, save nowadays, since we came to America. Can you truly say you’re happy here, Claire? Can you?”

Dear Lord, she thought, her eyes closing for a brief instant, had her distress over her growing distance with her husband, coupled by her yet unanswered questions about him and Hannah, been so evident? But that was a foolish question. If anyone would be the first to notice her changing emotions, it would be Ian. She resolved, no matter what happened, to confront Evan this very night.

“It’s a difficult time just now for all.” Thinking to hide the truth from him, her glance swung to take in the pine trees with their grayish bark and gnarled branches thick with long, green needles. “I haven’t quite mastered cooking for so many folk, and Evan near to works himself to exhaustion each day. And then”—she turned back to face her brother—“there’s the adjustment you and I must both learn to make, to this new land and its people.”

He gave a snort of disgust. “And what of the problems between you and Evan? When will ‘adjustments’ be made there to ease your unhappiness?”

A flush of indignation warmed her face. “What’s between Evan and me is private, and I’ll not be sharing it with you!”

“Aye, as you don’t share aught with me anymore! If it wasn’t for Elizabeth, I’d have no one to talk to or care about me.”

Claire’s mouth fell open. Pain twisted her heart. “How can you stand there and accuse me of not caring? You’re my brother, my flesh and blood! I’d do aught for you, Ian Sutherland, and you know it!”

“Would you now?” He shoved his hands into his denims and looked away. “I wonder.”

She grabbed him by the arm and spun him around. “Just because I’ve been preoccupied with other things of late, doesn’t mean I don’t love you just as much as I always have. Is that what all this trouble in school is about, then? That you think I don’t love you anymore?”

“Everything you do nowadays is done for Evan!” Ian’s eyes blazed with sudden fury. “He’s all that matters to you now. But no matter. Just as you’ve found Evan, I’ve found Elizabeth.”