Laid 2 Rest Two Halves of a Whole (9 page)

I was flying home for the first anniversary of my fathers passing in early December. It was hard to believe that we’d gone a whole year without him already. This was going to be a hard trip for me, so I had called in the big guns and made Jay promise to accompany me. My husband wanted to come, but I told him he should stay here... that this was something that I had to do on my own.

Of course, he bought my lame-ass excuse, he never questioned my motives. He just did as he was told which worked for me, because I really needed some time away from him to recharge my batteries.

Walking outside to the baggage terminal, I noticed right away that it was so much warmer here than New Mexico was at this time of the year, but I kept my jacket on anyways. My bones felt cold. A little preoccupied texting Jay to let him know that I had arrived safely, I found myself suddenly suspended in mid-air, engulfed in a giant bear hug.

Was he not worried about this turning up on the internet for all of America to see?

Hell no!

He didn’t care who saw us together. In fact, he even introduces me as “
the one that got away
”. He finally sat me down gently to step back and look at me better.

“Is everything where it should be?” I asked him after a minute or two of his uncomfortable staring.

“I don’t know. You’re a little overdressed, aren’t you?”

“Stop playing!” I said swatting him on his bicep.

“Hey, don’t blame me. It’s not my fault you have a dirty mind. Let me get this for you,” he said picking up my carry-on bag. “Is this all you brought with you?”

“Yeah, I’m not sure how long I’m going to be here so I didn’t want to over pack.”

“Well, if I get my wish, you’d never leave,” he said flashing all his perfect teeth and dimples at me.

I had to give it to him though. He really knew how to make me smile, even on a day like today. He was trying to distract me from the sadness that was beginning to weigh on me and I really loved him for that. He went out of his way to care for me even though he had no reason to.

Jay sensed my pain all of a sudden. My face must have dropped because he instantly became very serious. “Look at me, love,” he said softly and waited for me to meet his eyes before he continued, “I’ll get you thru today and the next day and the day after that. Lean on me, I’ll be your strength today and always,” he declared, pulling me back into the warmth of his arms.

After kissing me on top of my head and assuring me several times that everything would be alright, he lead me away from the terminal and over to his truck.

Jay has to practically lift me up in order for me to get inside of this beast because he had it raised so high. A spark of jealousy ignited in me as he threw my bag in the back and then hopped into the driver’s seat with such ease.

There was no need to instruct him on where to go since he had been there before. He had even sat at my father’s grave with me a few days after the funeral just for moral support. We drove most of the way in silence, but as we grew closer to the memorial park, he reached over instinctively to take my clammy hand in his, lending me his strength.

Joel and my nephew JoJo were already there on the sunny hillside waiting for us when we pulled up. Jay came around to help me down so I didn’t have to jump and we walked over to join them. The four of us stood by my father’s grave swapping different stories about my dad for about an hour before my brother and nephew had to leave. I agreed to meet up with them for dinner at my dad’s favorite little café located in the back of Lakeview Terrace later that evening, while Jay went to wait in the truck to give me a little privacy.

I sat back on my heels, started spilling my secrets to my dad about my out-of-body experiences and asked him to feel free to provide me with any inside information that he might have since he was with God now.

I had worn a calm mask all day until I found myself alone with him. Underneath that facade was so much pain and hurt that it finally cracked into a billion tiny pieces, leaving me a hot mess.

Not once, in all my years have I ever imagined having to hold a conversation with my father like this… separated by six feet of earth. The pain was so unbearable that I couldn’t remain still as I cleaned off his picture on his tombstone with the silk scarf from around my neck while I spoke to him with a face full of tears. Sending him my love, asking him to watch over us all, I stood up slowly, walked back down the hill, and tried unsuccessfully to climb into Jay’s monster truck.

“Where are we going?” I finally asked him, annoyed. It seemed like we were in his truck for an awful long time and it was working my last good nerve. I wasn’t used to sitting in a bumper-jam anymore and if the city of L.A. was notorious for one thing… it was certainly, gridlock traffic.

“It’s a surprise. You used to like surprises,” he said paying my attitude no mind.

I huffed before settling back into my seat to stare out of the window and waited…
impatiently
to reach our
surprise
destination.

“But this is just your house!” I said disappointedly when we finally pull into his garage, thirty something minutes later. “What are you up to exactly? Are you sure there’s even a surprise in there somewhere?” I asked rolling my neck.

“More than you know. I thought you might need a pick me up after visiting your dad. So, can you be patient for two more minutes please? Trust me, you’re going to love this,” he boasted, obviously proud of himself as he exited the truck to come around and assist me down again.

Scooping my bag up with one hand and reaching down to grab my hand with his other, Jay dragged me into the house with him. After setting my things down in the spacious living room area, Jay proceeded to relieve me of my purse, placing it on the glass coffee table next to us. Reaching forward, he slipped my jacket and scarf off as well, leaving me in a light pink fitted t-shirt, black skinny jeans, and black leather high heel boots. Stepping back to look at me again, he smiled. “There now. That’s so much better. You’ve been driving me nuts, covering up and hiding all these delicious curves from me.”

All I could do was laugh at him before saying, “Nothing else is coming off me, so I suggest you wipe that smirk off your face!”

“We’ll see about that”
was his only response before he drug me deeper into the house, coming to a stop at a set of pearly white french double doors. “Are you ready, love?”

That was a loaded question.
I could only manage a slight nod in reply because silently I was praying that this door didn’t contain a bed hidden behind it.

Turning the knobs slowly for dramatic effect, he pushed both doors open wide.

“SURPRISE!” I heard ring out from several different corners of the room. The doors had led to Jay’s inside pool and playing in the water were several children that made a mad dash for me all at once. Bending over, I group hugged their soaking wet bodies to me as I recognized their sweet angelic little faces. These were all my God kids I was holding. This was the best surprise Jay could have ever of given me.

All Maya’s kids were here; there was Brooke age 16, Summer age 13, and the only boy of the bunch (which was something else I must have changed along the way because before Maya only had two girls) little KJ age 6. Then there was Jay’s daughter, Jasmine Rain (my namesake) age 6 as well smiling up at me. She had turned out to be my goddaughter too once some of my missing pieces started to fill in from my very first trip to the past. They all clung to different parts of me screaming out, “Come swim with us, auntie.” Their voices all sang in unison.

“You planned this all along, didn’t you?” I accused Jay as he stood there trying to look all-innocent.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to see you half-naked,” he said smiling like crazy, flashing those dimples I love again.

“Let me guess…. you have a swimsuit for me to throw on somewhere too, huh?”

“I would tell you that you didn’t require one,
but the kids might not appreciate that like I would
… so yes, I have
something
that you could put on.”

Jay was teasing me again with all of his inappropriate talk, but I have to admit that I liked it. I liked it a lot. I always have. A man who could express his feelings openly was something that I’ve longed for.

Turning my attention back to the children. “Alright kids, you win. I’ll be right back for a game of Marco Polo. So be prepared because
I’m gonna get ya,
” I said, clawing my fingers at them like a big scary monster.

Hoots and hollers were all I heard as I turned my back to them and followed Jay down yet another hall, leading to a spare guestroom. He insisted that this room belonged to me; it was my
“real home”
he called it. A beautiful airy space with my own private bath and an electrifying view of the city. However, the thing that really demanded my attention was the huge king size bed positioned directly in the center of the room that looked inviting enough to make me want to skip the dip in the pool.

Jay opened the walk-in closet to pull out this teeny, weenie, purple bikini held up on a hanger with the tags still attached. I loved the color, it was my favorite…
but where the hell was the rest of it?

“You expect me to fit into that?” I said sarcastically, a little too loudly.

“Why don’t you just go try it on and see…? Here… Go on. I’ll be right here waiting so you can model it for me.”

After handing the thing off, Jay spread his long, lean, sexy self across my bed making himself comfortable, propping his head up with one arm just waiting for the show to begin.

I shook my head, disgusted at him as I took the scrap of material self-consciously and went to get changed in the bathroom. I was pretty darn surprised; it fit me like a second skin that was painted right onto me. I looked pretty damn good for a thirty-five year old!

I twirled around a couple of times in the mirror and thanked God that I shaved my legs that morning. Opening the door, I stepped out and revealed myself. He nodded once, trying to keep his face blank and asked me to turn around so he could see the back. He nodded again before slipping off the bed, planting himself directly in front of me.

I could feel the electricity surging between our bodies growing stronger.

And I knew… he could feel it too!

I was fighting some intense magnetic pull to mush my body up against his. The sexual chemistry between us was undeniable …
crazy strong
. Fighting with all my might to maintain my self-control and dignity, I asked him if he were ready to rejoin the others. He nodded again, still staring deep into my eyes. Breaking eye contact first, I grabbed his hands pulling him from the room to leave temptation behind us. That was close…
way
too close
.

With the spell broken, we raced back to the pool like a couple of youngsters. As soon as the kids saw us, they all screamed and spread out in the water. I ran towards the middle of the pool, yelling, “Ready or not, here I come,” as I dove straight in. The water was great, not too cold not too warm. I broke the surface with my eyes shut tight, “Marco” I called out.

“Polo,” they all screamed back at me.

We played in the pool together until our skin was all pale and wrinkly. It was great. I couldn’t remember the last time I had that much fun. Jay was right all along, that was exactly what I needed to lift my spirits today. He knew me so well. Sometimes better than I knew myself. He was so thoughtful and caring. Why oh why couldn’t I be married to him instead?

I couldn’t that’s why. If I ever said “I Do” to him, it would be the kiss of death for us…
marriage was a curse!