Land of Entrapment (38 page)

She joined us in the living room. “You sure?”

“Yeah. Go get some more sleep. Rent a movie.

Hang out. Enjoy yourself.” I gave her a big hug.

“Thanks. I’ll see you in a couple of days. I think I want to talk a little more.”

“Definitely. Call me and we’ll grab dinner or something.” I kissed her on the cheek. She’d call me, I knew. And I also knew she had a few things she wanted to say to me, as an adult. She released me and hugged Chris before following Melissa. Chris and I watched her until she reached the curb.

Chris turned to regard me. “What’s up, esa?”

“In terms of what?” I tried to sound innocent, though I had a million different things flying through my head.

“You know exactly what I mean.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“Fuck, Chris. I have so much shit I’m trying to figure out. There’s this shit with Megan, there’s trying to move beyond Melissa—and it’s weird, because I almost feel like I’m a co-parent for Megan. But she’s not a kid anymore. But she is. It’s—weird. I’m having a hard time negotiating that.”

She cocked her head. “And?” Her tone told me that she was only buying part of my rambling.

I shoved my hands in my pockets. “I have to go back to Texas at some point. I have to figure out what I’m doing and check in and mundane, boring shit that comes with academic obligations. A lot of my life is there right now.” I trailed off, realizing that it sounded like excuses, and that my heart wasn’t in it.

She raised an eyebrow, an “oh, really?”

expression. “That’s not true. Most of your life has been here. Texas was an escape. You’ve never really settled there. So now you have a chance to come home. What are you going to do?”

I chewed on my lower lip, trying to make some sense of all the crazy things that had happened in the past couple of weeks.

She interrupted my thoughts, worry in her dark eyes. “Kase, are you running?”

“In what sense?”

“Going back to Texas—are you using that as an excuse to avoid anything deeper with Sage?”

“God, no. But I am trying to be mature. I mean, Jesus, I did take Megan’s place on her lease for a bit.”

And there was always the possibility that Sage might think that was too forward. Shit.

“Have you talked to her?”

“Every damn day.” I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated. “She knows I don’t want to go back.

Christ, I don’t want to go. I miss New Mexico. I’ve missed it every day since I left. But I got the post-doc in Texas. And besides, Sage might think I’m being way too clingy or something. I worry about that, too.”

“You think too much,” she said, a little smile on her lips.

I shot her a “yeah, and?” look.

“Get out of your damn head.” She ruffled my hair. “You do your research here for the fall semester.

Then you go back to Texas to finish out the post-doc.

Then you come back here. Gus could set you up with something. And Mark would definitely put in a word for you. Law enforcement uses outside consultants all the time these days, especially in terms of what you do.” She smiled, smug. “You know I’m right. And you know you can’t resist me.”

I rolled my eyes. “Detective Goddess, over here.”

“And I know you’ve already checked into this. I know how you are.”

“Dammit,” I muttered. “And you know I hate it when you’re right. Okay, so American Studies at UNM might be interested in setting me up with something.”

“Uh huh. As I suspected. Even in the midst of your freak-outs, you’re still trying to analyze.” She air-kissed me. “But it’s one of the many things I love about you.”

“Oh, of course,” I said, smiling. “But still, whatever happens, I don’t think I’ll be here until next summer.”

“That’s plenty of time to get something here. And you can always live with me until you do. If Sage won’t put up with you, I can for a bit.”

“Excuse me? Put up with me?”

She punched me lightly on the shoulder. “So for real. How do you feel about her?”

I shook my head, a huge grin on my face. “It’s bad, amiga. It’s bad.”

She smiled again, but it was wistful. “I’m really happy for you. I can’t say I won’t miss certain things between us. But I want the best for you. So don’t be estupida.”

“Well, I want the best for you. Since that’s not me...” I grinned, leaving the statement unfinished.

“This really isn’t that hard, oh great scholar. She’s good for you and you know it. Yeah, you have a few things to take care of in Texas, but so what? You’ll be done there soon and then—” she shrugged, a “see how it goes” motion. “Don’t let the past determine your future.”

“Listen to you,” I said, laughing. “Are you my psychic now?”

“Abuelita always says, ‘no espera para el pasado.’

Don’t wait for the past. It’s done. And Sage is—well, there isn’t really a good way to describe her. But she’s good for you.” Chris grinned and wrapped me in a huge bear hug. “I have to run. I’ve got some errands to take care of and then we have to do cop stuff early tomorrow. I should be able to go Saturday. I’ll call you. And don’t you dare do anything insane. If there’s even the remotest possibility that you are thinking insane thoughts, anything about bailing for Texas and never coming back, call me so I can smack you around and remind you to get out of your damn head. Though I suspect Sage will be better able to talk you out of anything completely loco like that.” She grinned mischievously.

“I’m still not sure how this all is going to work,” I said. I wanted it to. God, how I wanted this all to work out like Chris said. I just wasn’t sure how I could make it work.

“Have some faith, Doctor Over-analysis. You’ve got the next five months here with Sage. Then you go finish shit up in Texas. You’ll be back here in May.”

I laughed again. “How can you be so sure?”

“I just am. Besides,” she said, dark eyes twinkling,

“Abuelita told me. And she is never wrong about matters of the heart.”

“I so love her. And I love you, too. But I think all this love shit is starting to get to me.”

Chris hugged me. “Because you can’t really analyze it. So get over it and just be.”

I held on to her for a while, thinking that I was the luckiest woman ever to have such cool people in my life. Yep. I had to come back to New Mexico. And somehow, I’d make that happen.

She released me. “You know you’re coming back,”

she said, like she’d just caught my brain wave. “And I’ll help you in any way you need. Though I’m sure Sage is already doing that force of nature thing. You can’t resist her, either.” She pinched my cheek and I blushed, which made her laugh.

“Yeah, yeah. Run along and go solve crimes and all that.”

“All right. I’ll talk to you later. ¡Hasta! ” She started walking back to her car.

“Chris,” I called after her.

She turned, waiting.

“Thanks.”

“De nada. Catch you in a few.” She waved and continued walking.

“I’m so lucky,” I said to myself as the long evening shadows stretched across the back yard. So damn lucky.

I SAT STARING into the embers, my back against a log someone had left at this campsite, probably for the express purpose of what I was doing right then.

We had already pitched the tent well away from the firepit and eaten dinner. I took a sip of wine from my plastic cup and no matter what purists say about drinking wine, it tasted damn fine in that cup at that campfire, accompanied by a million stars overhead and the crisp smell of piñon. The murmur of the Gila River provided background music and because it was a weeknight, we were the only ones using the campground.

Sage returned from a quick trip to the bathroom.

She retrieved her own plastic cup from the picnic table and sat down next to me, snuggling up against my left side. “This is amazing,” I said quietly. We had spent the morning hiking up to a hot springs, where we then spent an entirely delectable and private afternoon thoroughly enjoying each other’s company before heading back as the shadows lengthened.

“Mmm hmm,” she responded. I smelled traces of lavender in her hair and another stirring between my thighs heated my blood.

Business first. “So,” I started, nervous.

“You use that tone when you’re trying to say something you’re not sure about.” She stroked my hand. “What are you thinking?”

“Damn. I can’t hide anything, can I?”

“Nope. But you shouldn’t anyway. Unless it’s a surprise party for me.” She giggled against my shoulder.

I sighed happily, then continued. “Okay, I’ve been thinking. And as you know, it sometimes takes me a while to figure things out.”

She hugged me tighter.

“How would you feel if I hung out a little bit longer in New Mexico before heading back to Texas?”

I let my lips brush her forehead. “I mean, I’d have to go back briefly to get some stuff in order, but then I could maybe sabbatical here?”

“You have to ask?” she retorted, teasing.

“Well, I mean, it is kind of weird, maybe. We haven’t known each other all that long.”

“So how are we supposed to get to know each other better if you don’t hang out a bit longer?” She started nuzzling my neck.

“Now that is logic I won’t argue with,” I said between my teeth as her tongue worked its way down my neck.

“Rent Megan’s place,” she continued, murmuring against my cheek.

I swallowed nervously. “I already did.”

She stopped and pulled back to look at me, studying my eyes in the firelight. “Oh, my God. You did. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay with me sticking around for a bit. And I wanted to surprise you on this trip.”

She stroked my face with her fingertips. “Am I to understand that you’re interested in seeing where things go?” She smiled mysteriously, teasingly.

I kissed her. “Right now, they’re going to go into the tent,” I said against her lips, “where I’m going to undress you very slowly.”

“Do tell,” she said as she pulled away then traced my jaw with her lips. “And then?” She pressed, her lips against my neck.

I took her hand. “Let me show you.”