Lara and the City of Angels (12 page)

Lara smiled slightly as her eyes watered with unshed tears she refused to allow to fall from her gorgeous expressive eyes. “Sweetheart, I still love you. I realize I will never ever hate you but…I’m no longer in love with you. Baby, we were always better friends than lovers. You didn’t want me in all the capacity a man should want a woman. I don’t think—”

“I’m not gay and that isn’t why I turned you away. I was going through so much shit in my own head and I felt like I had no control over anything: my career, where my life was going—the fame, any of it really. However, I did have control over our sex life so I used that against you. It became a game or more like…an obsession, similar to that of an anorexic or a bulimic. The longer I could resist my urge for you, the more in control I felt.

“Once we joined the swinger’s circle, it became easy. I could still indulge with both men and women to my heart’s content but I could still deny you pleasure. I didn’t realize how much damage I was doing to our family or to you and part of me couldn’t be bothered to care. I have always been my own worst enemy and look what it has cost me: my most precious commodity…my wife.”

“That’s your problem, Sean. I am not a commodity—I am a human being and I
was
your wife!” Lara exclaimed as she looked around to ensure they weren’t garnering unwanted attention. “After all this time, you still talk to me and about me like I am an object. I know it must have been quite the coup for you to marry into such a wealthy family but tell me, did you consider me to be a warm blooded female at all?”

“Not really,” he replied in a sheepish voice. “Call me a victim of stereotypes, Lara. I assumed you would be uptight and frigid. I assumed all you blue-blood types hated sex and you would welcome my lack of advances toward you—”

“Except when you were in the mood for an early morning blow job? How did you expect your ‘frigid’ wife to react to
that
request?”

“I knew it would be unpleasant but when it all came down to it, you were married to me and I am a superstar for Christ’s sake. You know how many women would
love
to give me a blow job?”

His ex-wife’s green eyes were pure ice. “Well, I never enjoyed it because it felt like a chore but you can bet your ass all those activities I found to be a chore with you I am enjoying them immensely with my new lover!”

Lara turned and began to walk away as Sean shouted, “Speaking of that, I don’t like my daughter hanging around your boyfriend. It’s indecent and how am I not sure he isn’t a pedophile or he isn’t using you?”

She stopped and turned toward him. He strode to her expecting a slap on the face but the closer he came the more he realized the look on her face was pure pity. “You do realize Kristian and I got together when my self-esteem was in the gutter? If he wanted to use me, as broken and battered as I was as a human being, I would have gladly allowed him to do anything he wanted to me.

“He picked me up when I already had reached the bottom. I had no where to go but up and he made me feel beautiful and desirable and wanted. He made me realize the most exciting relationship I could ever have didn’t include whips, chains or an over-controlling, inadequate alpha male. It involved a man who treated me with priceless integrity and respect. The first time we were intimate, he made love to me and the worst part of the situation to me was I robbed him from my lack of living in the moment. I was too busy thinking about our lackluster sex life and how all you cared about were your own selfish needs.

“He is the reason I am the person you see before you now: confident, self-assured and completely sure of what I want out of this life. Unfortunately, that does not involve being the wife of Sean Buchanan’s any longer. I can do nothing but wish you well, good luck and good bye.”

Sean attempted a slight wave but before he could reach his arm high enough to complete the gesture, Lara had turned away and walked quickly toward the courthouse.

Chapter Twelve

L
ara had never been so relieved to get back to Baton Rouge in all her life.

Though the divorce had gone quick and she was now wealthier than she’d been before she’d initially entered the court room, her mind was completely focused on Kristian and how well he’d bonded with Auriel.

Her daughter adored him as much as she did and he actively took time with her which was more than she could say about Sean.

How her life had changed in such a short period of time.

Not only were she and Kristian a couple and an open secret but the producer had decided to make her a permanent cast member as she replaced Maddie Crawford who’d been admitted to an addiction treatment facility and would not be coming back to
One Last Bite
any time soon.

Despite her acting skills, which had started off mediocre at best, she’d become good friends with all the major cast members and Julie, Kristian’s ex-girlfriend, often came over to help her with scenes.

Baton Rouge had become her adopted home and although she had no idea what happened once filming of the show ended in a couple of weeks, she and Kristian definitely had some decisions to make.

She liked the small town atmosphere despite the size of the city. She’d found a terrific day school for Auriel and her daughter had immediately made friends. She liked the lazy ambience of the south and she plain loved spending time in Louisiana.

Lara had no wish to go back to Los Angeles anytime soon. That was Sean’s adopted hometown and rightfully so. She’d grown up all over the world and after spending so much time in such a fake and phony environment, she adored the
realness
of the south. People were less fake and less likely to make pleasantries with you if they didn’t like you.

The genuine atmosphere reminded her of France and her sister who had her fair share of problems with her footballer husband. They could settle in Louisiana, even in the off season and perhaps spend time in France. If Kristian agreed to her plans then everything would be perfect but first she would have to get the okay from him.

Kristian snuck up behind her and kissed her cheek. He’d interrupted her concentration but in a good way. Anything he did to her always made her smile. It didn’t seem fair because she’d never dreamed in million years she would have a relationship which was so goddamn easy. It almost felt unfair. After six years of walking on egg shells, she’d finally found a man who did everything right and set every nerve ending in her body on fire every time he touched her.

He held her cell phone in his hand. “You looked deep in thought so I answered it.”

“Bad news?” she inquired in a panicky voice.

“I don’t think so. It’s just your mother, honey.”

Lara took the phone and pressed it to her ear. “Hello, Maman. How are you?”

“I’m fine,
chérie
, although a better question for me to ask is how have you been doing?” Genevieve greeted in a thick French accent.

“I’ve never been better. How is Papa and have I embarrassed you two badly in your social network?”

Her mother clicked her tongue. “Don’t you dare think that way,
chérie
. After what that
fils de pute
did to you it’s a miracle you are still a functioning human being.”

She laughed at her mother’s French humor. “You sound like you’re in good spirits, as are Kristian and I. Your granddaughter is thriving and to be honest, I think we are going to be okay.”

“You always were. I know the Damgaards’ as they are part of our social network. Kristian is a lovely man and I know he will take very good care of my beautiful and courageous daughter.” Genevieve paused before she continued, “However, I am not so sure how well Jenna is doing. I hate to be such a burden but…how much time do you have left before filming is completed for the show?”

“Well, it doesn’t officially end until another two weeks but Kristian and I wrap up our scenes tonight. There is an excellent nanny on the television’s payroll—at least until I am able to hire one myself—”

“Leave that all to me. It would be my pleasure. In the meantime, I will have Hilda fly in tomorrow to pick up Auriel. If you could please explain to the director it is an emergency, do you think you and Kristian could be on a plane tomorrow? I have already booked the tickets for an evening flight to Charles de Gaulle. The last time I spoke to Jenna, she seemed worse than usual and I worry what she might do…”

“I understand, Maman. I will discuss it with Kristian and we will make that flight.”

“Good.” Genevieve breathed a sigh of relief. “After what she did as a teenager, I just don’t trust her to be as strong as you or Brittany. She seemed to inherit the worse in both Gavin and myself. She is not a world class beauty like her sisters’ and she never had the self-esteem you two possess either. It would kill your father and I if she ever did anything rash.”

“Maman, it would be a pleasure for Kristian and I to visit her plus it would give us an excuse to spend a relaxing and very enjoyable week in one of my favorite cities.”

“Okay. I don’t want to take away family time so…
tu sais je t’aime
and call me when Hilda arrives tomorrow, all right?”

“
Oui
, Maman.”

“
À bientôt
,” her mother responded before she ended the call.

Lara put the phone down and wandered through the house until she found Kristian and Auriel watching
The Backyardigans
on Nick Jr. It was one Auriel’s favorite shows and had been since she was a toddler.

Kristian looked up and snuggled her daughter lovingly before he whispered something in her ear to make her giggle. He stood and walked towards her yet she couldn’t help but feel all that male sexuality oozing from his pores. Was he even aware how hot he looked in nothing more than a white wife-beater and a pair of casual blue jeans which hugged him in all the right places?

He was barefoot. Now that Auriel was staying with them, he’d gotten the hard wood floors polished and instituted a no-shoe rule in the house. It worked wonders as Lara always felt so dainty underneath him when ever he slipped his arms around her and held her close.

They walked into the kitchen where she sat on one the stools in front of the island countertop. It was late afternoon but she thought perhaps she should suggest coffee. Sometimes her mind slipped right back into the mode when she and Sean were married and she worried about what Kristian might say, do or think though he’d done nothing to put her on edge.

“What’s the matter, babe?” he inquired as he slid a half glass of Pinot Noir on a coaster in front of her.

Lara thought it was funny how he knew all her habits already. She didn’t like to be intoxicated while Auriel was in her care and a half a glass was all she could take.

She sipped from her wine and allowed the rich bouquet of flavor to settle on her tongue before she swallowed. “How much do you care about skipping the show’s season finale party?”

Kristian stared at her with determined steel blue eyes. “I have been to every one of them so I don’t see how missing one would be such a big deal. Everyone just gets drunk and it carries on pretty much the whole night.”

“Is that your way of saying that if something more important came up then it would take precedent?”

He slipped her tiny hands into his own and held them gently. His skin was warm to the touch and a heady scent filled her nostrils. “Yes, that is exactly what I am saying. I spoke to your mother a bit before I handed you the phone. She was pleasantly surprised I spoke fluent French and we chatted about your sister, Jenna. She begged me…in her own way French people tend to do as they don’t really beg per se as much as they implore and try to reason with you. I know what is going on with her and if she needs us then I am more than willing to lend a hand. You know that.”

“You’re too good to me, Kristian. What would I do without you?”

He kissed her gently on the lips. “You’d manage although I’m not sure how well that would work out for you.”

They embraced and Lara knew in her heart everything would be all right.