Laura Matthews (11 page)

His casual acceptance of their betrothed state and future life as parents inexplicably startled her, and she nodded mutely. What to her seemed the most important, if necessary, decision of a lifetime was entered into by him with the seeming ease of deciding to purchase a new carriage or race horse. There was a comfort in his decisiveness and apparent lack of doubts, but there was also something bleak and distressing to her about this businesslike, unemotional progress toward the altar. He handed her one of the soldiers to examine while he unearthed the last treasure, a pad of foolscap on which he had scrawled the intimate thoughts of his youth. He pocketed this last almost guiltily; he had no intention of exposing his long-forgotten thoughts, very real at the time, to the woman at his side.

“We’ll take the strongbox back to the house and have it cleaned up,” he said as she returned the soldier to him.

When the treasure trove had been locked once again, he led her out of the forest, the box under one arm, the shovel gripped in his other hand. “I think we’ll leave the other box in the summerhouse, so that someday we’ll be surprised when one of the children comes home to tell us of finding it,” he suggested with a smile. “And we’ll remember that it was the day you found it that we were betrothed.”

This romantic flight of fancy might have pleased her if it had not been offered so ... glibly. Olivia could not meet his light-hearted, quizzing gaze but murmured her agreement as he assisted her to mount. The euphoria of the previous evening had given way to the discouraging thought that, welcoming and fond of her as Lady Lawrence and Julianna were, she might have been
any
young lady so far as Noah was concerned. He had accustomed himself to the idea of marriage, and if it had been Jennifer Pugh whom he had inadvertently compromised he would be quite as satisfied to be marrying her as Olivia.

Alone with Julianna in her friend’s bedroom, she tried to voice her thoughts. “Noah has a most... equable temperament, has he not?”

“Why, I suppose so. That’s not to say that I’ve never seen him angry or annoyed, for I most certainly have.” Julianna tossed her hair back with a vigorous shake of her head. “Sometimes he is very stern with me.”

“Perhaps that’s not precisely what I meant. He... he seems altogether at ease with the idea of marrying me.”

Julianna regarded her with astonishment. “Well, of course he does, goose. Who would not?”

“But it is out of necessity, my dear. He would not be marrying me now if he had not unwittingly compromised me, and yet he does not act at all resentful or restive. He might as easily have been forced to marry someone entirely different.”

“I should hope he did not embroil himself in such fiascos every day, Olivia! One would think to hear you talk that he had a whole string of mistresses, each one bent on some disaster which would lead to a young girl’s ruined reputation.”

“That’s not at all what I meant, Julianna, and you know it,” her friend protested. “It’s just that I would expect him to be less ... agreeable about the whole matter.” When Julianna frowned with a lack of understanding, Olivia made one last attempt to share her burden. “I should think Noah would wish to
choose
his bride, rather than have one thrust on him.”

“He’s never shown the least inclination to marry at all, Olivia. You must realize that he is six-and-twenty and, as far as I know, has never offered for anyone, or contemplated doing so. He’s very fortunate that out of his carelessness he should have reaped such a reward as you. Do you fear that he will not make a good husband? You need have no worry there, I promise you. He’s very proud of his family and never treats us with anything but the greatest respect and devotion. You’re too used to your own brothers, Olivia, and Noah is not like them. He’s very protective and generous with Mama and me, and he will be with you.”

Finding it impossible to express any more clearly the uneasiness she felt about Noah’s behavior, Olivia gave up the attempt. After all, she could expect no more than he offered, and might have received a great deal less. Another man finding himself in the same position might have grudged her his name, which Noah certainly did not. It was silly to cavil at his good-natured acceptance of the situation; she was lucky indeed to have such an accommodating bridegroom.

Thrusting aside the nagging doubt that there should have been more, she smiled at Julianna and said, “You’re right, my dear. I suppose it is precisely because he is so different from my brothers that I find it difficult to believe my good fortune.”

Julianna gave a tinkling laugh. “Doing it too strong, Olivia. Noah is the lucky one, and you make sure he knows it.”

Chapter Ten

During the next few days Lady Lawrence and Julianna accompanied Olivia into Norwich for shopping expeditions and fittings, and into closer towns and villages for those items which could be purchased in the neighborhood. Noah escorted the three of them on a round of morning calls to acquaint their friends with the impending marriage. The news was excitedly received by everyone except Lorraine Pugh, who was currently despairing of Mr. Brownley, and had taken it into her head that Sir Noah might be a worthy object for her attentions. In the general excitement, however, her tragic pose was barely noticed.

On their return from one of these expeditions a week after their betrothal, Noah sorted through his mail and found the awaited reply to his letter to the Earl of Bolenham. “Your brother,” he informed Olivia a while later, “writes briefly, giving his permission to our marriage, and allows that it would be proper for you to return to Stolenhurst for a short period to assemble your belongings.”

“I dare say he didn’t think to send his best wishes.”

“No.” Noah’s lips twitched slightly.
“On the other hand, he didn’t offer me his condolences, either.”

“You surprise me, sir. But you must not let that bother you, for I am sure he would condole with you, except that he is so relieved to be rid of me.”

Despite such easy interchanges, Olivia was building up a store of resentment against her fiancé. They rode daily, and he took the opportunity to teach her about his estate and to instruct her gently in her role as chatelaine. Although these lessons were conducted with finesse, Olivia chafed under them. It was not as though she were some country girl being elevated to an unfamiliar station. She was an Earl’s daughter, an Earl’s sister, and as such had, in spite of her youth, been in the position of mistress of an estate far larger than Noah’s.

One afternoon when Noah spoke of his obligations to the neighborhood as the local squire, Olivia felt her indignation rise to bursting point.

“I am not unfamiliar with such obligations, Noah,” she snapped. “I have been in a position to carry them out in
my
neighborhood for several years. And I assure you that the demands made on an Earl are no less than on a baronet!”

“0-ho, so you are fretting at marrying beneath yourself after all,” he returned.

“I will not be patronized,” she declared angrily, reining in her horse.

“I had no intention of patronizing you, Olivia,” he protested. “My own observation of your brother’s nature did not lead me to believe that he would deal with his neighborhood in a very generous manner—except for making lavish expenditures—which were seldom paid.”

“If Peter was unwilling to meet his duties, I was not,” she said through clenched teeth. “When necessary I used my own pocket money to relieve the suffering of some distress-ridden family. I am sick to death of your kindly delivered lessons on how to conduct myself as your wife, and I will not hear another word on the subject!”

Noah’s jaw tightened grimly but he merely said, “As you wish, of course. It was not my intent to overburden you with your responsibilities.”

His willful distortion of her complaint roused Olivia to a temper she had never displayed before. With a resounding crack she slapped him and urged her horse to a gallop, leaving him staring after her in astonishment. She did not draw in until she reached the stables, where she leaped from the horse and stomped out of the stable yard to the house without a backward glance.

To avoid Julianna, she hastened up the back stairs and slipped into her room unobserved. It was some time before the angry flush left her cheeks, and much longer before the scene could be forced to the back of her mind. She fumed about her room, agitatedly picking up and fingering objects which did not belong to her and which she had to control herself from sending flying through the windows.

When a tap came at her door she pressed her lips together and did not respond. The maid Marie called to her that Sir Noah wished to see her in the Small Library. Olivia would never have contemplated making a scene in front of a servant and responded that she would comply with the summons. She did not, however, present herself to Noah for half an hour, the stubbornness of her anger still with her.

Noah coldly invited her into his sanctum and seated her beside the library table. Some redness remained on his face, and it offered her a grim satisfaction that did not amount to smugness but a nervous self-justification for her action. He did not seat himself but paced about the room slapping his gloves against his legs as though he wished he could do something else with them.

“The one thing I will not tolerate in a woman, in my wife,” he corrected himself, “is such displays of temper. It is excessively ill-bred,” he said scathingly.

“I consider it ill-bred to treat a social equal as an inferior,” she retorted hotly, “and the one thing I will not tolerate in a husband is being condescended to.”

He swung around and glared at her. She returned his stare with blazing eyes and was the first one to speak. “You forget sometimes, I think, that I had no hand in the present turn of events. It was not I who called for help when my mistress lay ill with an abortion I was responsible for. It was not my own reputation which made it possible for all those people to believe what they did of me—but my brothers’ and yours. I may regret, but I have no control over, the fact that my brother should cast me out of my home, basically penniless and with nowhere to go. You
say
you are willing to accept the responsibility for me, that you would prefer me to marry you than to have me simply another dependent in your household.

“What is it to you, who have had so many, if you take me to wife and to bed? One woman is as good as the next to you, and probably you would not have planned to marry an earl’s daughter. It is really not such a bad bargain for you, sir, since you appear insensitive to any thought of devotion between married couples. Do not think I dwell on marrying beneath me; it is of no consequence to me. But do not act as though I should hang on your words of proper conduct becoming your wife. I have known how to be a
baronet’s
wife since I was ten!”

Noah’s color had risen alarmingly and he gave a roar of indignation, but Olivia was not finished. “Do not think I would taunt you with such a paltry matter, sir, if you had not irritated me beyond enduring with your condescension these last weeks. Oh, you have been ever so kind, so considerate as to teach poor little Olivia how to disport herself as your wife. Have I given you reason to believe that I am so ill-suited to the job? I asked only to know of those personal things which are annoyances or delights to you which I might observe to your greater comfort and satisfaction. To
purposely
distort my meaning when we were riding was beyond anything. I would rather beg to Peter on my hands and knees than marry you under such terms!”

“Am I to understand, Lady Olivia,” he asked stiffly, “that you are terminating our engagement?”

“Oh, I don’t know!” she exclaimed exasperatedly. “You will not marry me if I display any temper, and I will not marry you if you condescend to me. If these are matters which cannot be mutually satisfied, then we should not marry.”

“What would you do?” he asked coldly.

“There, you are doing it again! How do I know what I would do? I am not mistress of my own life, but it does not give you the right of any natural superiority. I am a woman, you know, one of that sex which may be shuttled about at the pleasure of yours. I can apply to Peter; he will be more than willing to establish me with some crotchety old relation in the depths of Cornwall, no doubt, if I break my engagement. He would be relieved to have me out of sight, and out of mind. And when he forgets to send enough money to keep me, which I estimate would happen within the first three months, no doubt I shall take a job in some linen-draper’s shop!”

The absurdity, and truth, of the picture she painted touched Noah with its essential pathos. It was true that the protective role he had taken toward her had led him inevitably to presumptuousness, perhaps even to the condescension of which she spoke. Her physical slap had wounded his pride no less than her sharp tongue-lashing on their relative social positions. He did not wish his hurt to overthrow his common sense, and he fought to regain control of himself and the situation.

Olivia remained in her chair, spent with her emotional outburst, her head in her hands. While he attempted to organize his thoughts and marshal his speech into an acceptable comment on her diatribe, she spoke brokenly through her fingers.

“I’m sorry I slapped you, Noah, and that I have so lost my temper as to say unforgivable things to you. Please believe that I am grateful to you for all you’ve done and do not think hardly of me. I do not wish to impose on you, and you must no longer consider me your responsibility. For good or ill I am Peter’s responsibility until I come of age, and I assure you that I am quite capable of making him bear that responsibility long enough to establish me elsewhere.”

Her heartbroken speech finally mobilized Noah and he moved to stand beside her chair, his hand stroking her hair. “Don’t be distraught, Olivia. We’ll work out a solution which will be mutually satisfactory. Perhaps I have been ... condescending as you say. I was not aware of it, but I can see how it might appear so to you. Truly, my only thought was to make you feel comfortable here, for you must become mistress of the house with my mother still in residence, and that can be no easy chore.”