Lay It Down: Bastards MC Series Boxed Set (52 page)

A giant wooden desk took up the majority of the room. On one side, Cris danced around, grabbing and chucking whatever she could get her hands on while she yelled incoherently. On the other, Rocker was trying to dodge or catch whatever object flew his way. The window was broken, and the floor behind him was littered with debris. I slammed the door, hoping to get her attention.

Instead, it was Rocker’s head that turned toward me, distracting him just long enough so that he didn’t see the stapler Cris aimed at his head. It hit his cheek with a meaty wet
thunk
, and his head snapped to the side with the impact. Ian and Tank rushed in behind me. Tank grabbed Cris around her waist and carried her out of the room, still screaming obscenities, with Ian right behind them.

I hesitated for a minute, not sure if I should follow them or stay. One look at the blood gushing from his cheek and I rushed toward Rob, but he raised a hand, stopping me.

“No! There’s a shit ton of glass ovah heah and I don’t wantchya to get cut!”

“Oh, my god! What was that all about?”

Rocker stepped gingerly around the wreckage, sighing.

When he got close enough, I got a good look at his cheek. “Do you have a first aid kit?”

He nodded and left the room. I followed him down the hallway into the dorms then into a private room. This one was painted a deep red. I waited by the bed, looking at the pictures scattered around the room while he disappeared into the bathroom. He came out a few minutes later, carrying a white box. He dropped onto the bed and handed it to me. I cleaned the already swollen flesh as gently as I could, then I sat next to him.

“She may be a little angry with me.” He chuckled. “It’s possible I said the wrong fuckin' thing.”

I fought a chuckle and lay back on the bed. “I’d say that’s a good assessment, smartass.” The bed was extremely comfortable, and I wanted to do nothing more than close my eyes and forget about this awful and strange day. Then I thought of Tank’s casual mention of Rocker “auditioning” the new girls and jumped off the bed. “Eww!”

“What’s wrong?”

“How many women have been naked in here?”

Rob looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. “I swear to God, every single woman in my life is fuckin’ spastic!”

“We’re crazy?” I narrowed my eyes. “I’ve only been here a few hours, and I’ve been hit on, mistaken for a club whore, kissed, punched someone, slapped someone, watched my friend go nuts, tended a wound caused by a fuckin’ stapler, and discovered that you personally audition all the women who hang out here. It’s not the women in your life that are crazy, Rob—it’s your club!”

As I rattled off my list, Rob’s face grew angrier and angrier. “
What?
”

I shrugged.

He closed his eye briefly, moving his hand up to rub his face on the uninjured side. “L.K., I have a bitch of a headache. I need you to slow down and explain that all to me.”

“Fine. When you tell me how many naked women have been in here. And when you washed your sheets last.”

He tipped his head from side to side, snapping his neck. “That’s none of your fuckin’ business and I’m not tellin’ you shit. But I will tell you my sheets were washed last week and the blanket is new. I haven’t had anyone here since then.”

I wrinkled my nose. “You’re sure I won’t catch anything?”

He rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Sit.” I hesitated a second too long. "Now!"

I joined him on the bed again, pulling my feet up and sitting cross-legged, leaning my elbows onto my thighs. “Do you really audition all the club whores?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah. Club business, right? So you won’t tell me.”

He didn’t argue.

“That’s disgusting, just so you know. I’m relatively sure I’ve lost all respect for you.”

“Christ, you’re a pain in the ass. You know that, right?” he said.

I nodded.

“Between you and Cris, I’m gonna lose my shit.” He sighed. “Okay. Who did you hit?”

“Tank.”

“Fahk.” He growled. “Why?”

“He kissed me.”

Rob clenched his teeth so tightly, his jaw started to tick.

“Before you ask why, it’s because he thought I was here to audition for you. Because he thought I was a club whore.” I glared at him. “Awesome, huh?” I ignored his string of curses and mutterings about kicking Tank’s ass. “You’re not gonna do a friggin’ thing about it. I handled it!”

His eyes narrowed at me. “’Scuse me?”

I heard the warning tone and decided to ignore it. “It’s done. Over. No harm, no foul.”

“Joey,” he gritted between closed teeth, “I’m tryin’ to cut you some slack, but you don’t make it easy. The only one who handles shit in this clubhouse is me.” I pffted, waving my hand at his absurdity, but he continued in a controlled voice, accent gone. “There is a clear set of rules that we all follow, and no one breaks them without punishment. It’s how we keep order in the club.

“I should have explained it to you earlier and not waited for Matty to do it. As far as the Bastards are concerned, you belong to Mateo. It is his job to protect you and take care of you. Because you are his, you have our respect and our protection. We will take care of you when he isn’t around to do it. We don’t touch our brother’s woman sexually. Ever. And if one of us is stupid enough to break the rule, even if she wanted it or initiated it, punishment for the member is severe.

“And it’s Matty's job to keep you in check. When you do anything with the club, here or out in the community, your behavior is a direct reflection on Matty. You misbehave, whether it’s by mouthing off to a member or being disrespectful, he gets punished. You’re feisty and sassy as fuck, which is great ‘cause you keep him on his toes. But if you don’t pay attention, Matty’s going to be screwed.”

I felt the blood drain from my face. “That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! It’s not 1912 anymore. Women have just as many rights as men.”

He shook his head. “Not in this club they don’t.”

I swallowed hard. “What’s gonna happen to Tank?”

“How many people saw you two?”

I told him the whole story, telling him about the group of men and Ian.

He shook his head. “Probably not much. He didn’t know who you were, and you hit him because he grabbed you. Both he and Matty should get out of it with no more than a warning. I’ll argue that point on their behalf at court.”

“I don’t understand.” My voice was quiet, brain on overload. “What does court have to do with the club?”

He chuckled. “Court is a meeting that all patched members need to attend. It’s where we talk about problems, like this one, and vote on policies. I wouldn’t worry as much about Tank as I would about what’s gonna happen to you when Mateo finds out.”

I snorted sarcastically. “What’s he gonna do? Spank me? He’d have to be here to do that. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’ve already figured out I like that.” I smiled when he looked away, obviously uncomfortable. “Besides, Matty would never do anything to hurt me.”

“Joey.” His tone was cold and harsh. “It's not about hurtin' you. It's about teachin' you your place and keepin' you safe."

I groaned in frustration, making his eyes snap back to mine. "God, he doesn't need to keep me safe! I'm pretty sure I've proved I can handle that on my own!"

"That's his fuckin' job. Stop emasculatin' him, for fuck’s sake!"

“I’m not emasculating him!” I snapped back.

"You are! Every fuckin' time you say shit like that, you're telling him you don't need him. You're sayin' you're too good for his life!'

“I am not!" I yelled, thoroughly pissed off. "The life he lives with you here is so different than anything I’m used to. I’m struggling to figure out how in the hell the man I love can be okay with the ass backward rules you have in place. I’m not property—no one owns me, and no one is responsible for my actions but me!"

Rocker tried to interrupt, but I held up my hand. “I get that this is your life. I fucking get it! But you need to understand that I fell head over heels in love with a geeky social worker who loves to run, listens to the worst music on the planet, and can make me laugh even when I want to cry. I’m trying to accept that he’s…” I trailed off, unsure what I was trying to say. Sighing, I pushed myself off the bed. “I love him, Rob. I'm just trying to figure out where I fit in.”

Chapter 19

Jo

The sounds of traffic coming in through my window and a few smutty books on my Kindle were the only things I had to keep me company that night and the next morning. That was perfectly fine with me—I was in a foul mood and didn’t want to talk to anyone. I preferred to mentally beat myself up without an audience.

Matty had called a bunch of times last night after I’d sent him a text telling him I had a headache and was going to bed early. This morning, he’d blown up my phone. His last message was simple. “Babe, you’ve gotta talk to me at some point.” Long audible sigh. “Rob told me what happened. I love you, Joes. Just call me back.”

I would, as soon as I figured my shit out.

I would never ask Matty to leave this life, because I understood the appeal. Being a member of a motorcycle club was about being a member of something bigger than yourself, a fraternity of brothers who would support you and always have your back. It wasn’t like MCs were the only groups like that. There were the Masons, actual fraternities at every college nationwide, and the boys’ club many women had to face at work. The club was as big a part of him as anything else, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about the man I loved.

So if I was determined to be with him, I had two choices: accept the role as “his” and whatever that entailed, or take the same stance Becky had and be his “other life.” I didn’t know if I could handle having just a piece of him though. For a decade, we’d been inseparable. I couldn’t imagine a life with anything less.

The politics of the club pissed me off. I could understand the “can’t tell you ‘cause it’s club business” attitude. As a caseworker, I’d been bound by strict confidentiality laws and there were many days when I’d been called out on an emergency only to say to my family “Mommy’s gotta work.” They didn’t know what I was doing or how dangerous of a situation I was walking into. The fact that Matty couldn’t discuss club business with me was the same thing. The club was almost like a second job. I was no longer a case worker, so he couldn’t discuss either job with me. It took a few hours to get my head around that, but it really did make sense. If I didn’t know what he was doing, I couldn’t be forced to tell anyone else.

There was more to my negativity toward the club than that though. I had never been labeled a feminist, yet I felt like one now. Women should have the same rights as every man in that club, as long as they earned them. The fact that they looked at me as nothing more than property made my stomach roil. If I succeeded or failed, I wanted it to be on my own merits, not because of Matty. But most of all, I didn’t want Matty to be judged by how I behaved. I was my own person, and after everything with Will over the last few years, I felt like I needed to know I could depend on myself.

Realizing I could never make the decision alone, I longed to pick up the phone and talk to Teagan. She’d never understand any of this though and would tell me to get my ass home. Cris was out too—she’d gone away with her boy toy for the weekend. That left just one other person who may understand where I was coming from. Taking a deep, calming breath, I grabbed my phone and dialed the person I knew would give it to me straight.

“Jo!” Jessie gasped, out of breath. “I was just gonna call you!”

I groaned. “About the Tank thing?”

She was quiet for a split second. “Tank thing?” I could hear the confused curiosity. “Noooo, I needed to ask you a favor. But now I’m a little worried. What Tank thing?”

I quickly relayed yesterday’s events. Halfway through, just as I’d gotten to the part about him kissing me, she started to laugh uncontrollably. “Oh, my God!” She chortled. “He must have been mortified! I’m sorry, I’m afraid that’s partly my fault. I told him he needed to find a girl and enjoy himself for a little while.”

I finished the story, leaving out Cris, to more laughter. “I need to talk to you about it all though. Can you meet for coffee in a bit?”

“Ummm…” I heard the hesitation in her voice. “I’m actually on my way out of town. That’s why I was going to call you. I’m supposed to go to some fundraiser with Rocker tomorrow night. He got tickets at the last minute, and he needs help schmoozing someone. It’s a black-tie shindig that is extremely ‘high society.’”

I smiled at her fake British accent. I couldn’t believe Jess would pass up a date with Rob, especially one that sounded so elegant. “Why can’t you go?”

She sighed. “Long story short? Tank’s girlfriend is a fuckin’ piece of shit. I talked to her last week and told her about his welcome home party. She promised she’d be there but never showed. Since he’s been back, she hasn’t answered her phone. She sends him a text every now and then, but they’re cryptic at best. She told him she’d be at the clubhouse first thing this morning. Still hasn’t shown. He’s going looking for her, and I’m not letting him go alone.”