Lead (2 page)

Mal groaned. “I know, lovely Lena, I know. Trust me, I’ve tried to get them to move back to LA, but they won’t budge. Portland’s where the Ferris bros be hanging these days. Even Benny boy’s settled in up there.”

Ben, the bass player, opened one eye and gave us both a tired look. Then he closed it and went back to sleep.

“C’mon, Jimbo,” said Mal, bouncing about on the spot again. “Help me convince her Portland doesn’t completely suck ass.”

Finally, at long last, Jimmy sighed and looked up at me.

What Mal couldn’t do to me, this one did with ease. Everything paused, apart from my pulse, beating loud behind my ears. The man was beautiful in much the same way as the stars. I could only look upon him with longing, he was so far out of my reach. Still, moments like these are meant to be momentous. Fate shifting beneath your feet should feel big. But instead of mood lighting and dramatic music, I got a cranky cold blue stare from a guy in a razor sharp suit. Dark hair fell over his face and collar, framing the cheekbones of an angel but the jaw of a stubborn child. Every other discernible inch of him appeared to be fully grown male. The way he held his jaw, however … well.

And the man might be pretty, but he sure as hell wasn’t nice. I’d met enough not-nice men to know. Trust me to find him attractive.

So I frowned straight back at him.

His glare went up a notch.

I matched it.

“Why, you two are getting along like a house on fire already! It’s like you’ve known each other for years. I think she’ll make you a wonderful live-in assistant,” said Mal. “Tell him, Lena.”

“A live-in assistant?” I parroted, clueless.

“Since when did I need an assistant?” Jimmy looked me over from top to toe, lips tight with obvious disapproval.

“Since you can’t seem to keep a sobriety companion.” His brother returned calmly, a little coldly even. “But it’s your call. If you don’t want to give her a go, the record company’ll find you another companion. Someone suitable.”

Jimmy cringed and the broad shoulders filling his suit curved inward. I almost felt bad for him. The guy might not have the sunniest of dispositions, but it wouldn’t hurt his brother to show a little support. Siblings. What could you do?

“They gotta luck out and get someone you can stand being around eventually, right?” asked David. “You’re doing great, but we can’t afford for you to get off track now.”

“I’m not going to get off track.”

“We go on the road soon and your routine’ll be shot to shit. Sort of situation where you could fall back into old habits easily. You heard what that latest therapist said.”

“All right, Dave. All right. Christ.” Despite his brother talking, Jimmy’s ice-cold gaze never left me.

I stared back, unperturbed. It wasn’t my style to back down from a challenge.

“I’ll hire her,” he said.

I laughed. “Um, Mr. Ferris, I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

“But there are conditions,” Jimmy continued.

Beside me, Mal thrust his fists in the air, making muted crowd-type noises. My comment seemed to have been overlooked entirely.

“I don’t want you getting in my face all the time,” said Jimmy, staring me down.

“One moment, please. So, you’re offering me a job as your live-in assistant?” I asked, just to be sure.

“No, I’m offering you a trial period as my live-in assistant. Let’s say a month … if you last that long.”

I could make it a month with him. Probably. The money would need to be good, however. “What does the position involve and what does it pay?”

“It involves you not getting in my face and it pays double what you make here.”

“Double?” My brows crept skyward.

“You don’t report back to anyone about what goes on with me unless I go into meltdown,” he said. “Then you only talk to one of the guys in the band or our head of security. Got it?”

“What sort of meltdown, exactly, are we talking about?”

“Trust me, if it happens, you’ll recognize it. What was your name again?”

“Lena.”

“Tina?”

“No. Lena. L.E.N.A.”

Adrian made a faint gargling noise like someone was choking him. But it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was the way Jimmy Ferris’s forehead smoothed out. The anger or tension or whatever it was disappeared from his face and he gave me a thoughtful look. He didn’t smile. Didn’t even come close to it. But for just a moment, I wondered what it would take to make him.

Curiosity was a killer.

“Le-na,” he rolled my name off his tongue like he was trying it on for size. “Okay. Stay the fuck out of my way and we’ll see what happens.”

Jimmy was losing it.

The hotel room door shuddered, something smashing loud against the other side. Inside, voices were raised, but the words were indistinct. Maybe I’d just hang out in the hallway for a while. It was tempting. All of this was my own damn fault, I should have been dust weeks ago. The facts were, despite the great money, me and this job didn’t mesh. Every time I opened my mouth to tell him I quit, however, the words disappeared.

I couldn’t explain it.

“Hey.” Ev wandered toward me in a simple black dress, her fingers twining nervously. Her blonde hair had been pulled back into an elegant chignon.

“Hi.”

“David’s in talking to him.”

“Right.” I probably should have worn a dress too, gone traditional. The last thing I wanted was to publicly embarrass Jimmy on a day like today. Only November in North Idaho could be butt-chapping cold. For a native of warmer climates, they didn’t make tights thick enough to combat this sort of weather.

The band and their entourage had been in Coeur d’Alene for just over a week and Jimmy’s mood had been black since our arrival. Worse even than normal. Mal’s mom had passed four days ago, losing her battle with cancer. From what I could gather, Lori had been like a surrogate mom to the Ferris brothers. Their own had apparently been little more than an oxygen bandit, abandoning them early. I’d only met Lori a couple of times. No one could dispute she’d been a beautiful soul.

More muted shouting. Another thump.

“Guess I shouldn’t have gone out for breakfast.” Coffee, French toast, and far more maple syrup than one woman needed, churned inside my stomach. Comfort eating sucked. “Thought I’d beat him back from the gym.”

“You can’t watch him all the time.”

“I’m paid to try.” I shrugged. “God help me.”

“And if you did, he’d fire you for getting in his face. Just like he did all the others. Giving him some breathing room is a good thing.” Ev flinched, another almighty crash coming from within the room of doom. “Usually.”

“Hmm.”

Jimmy didn’t fire all five of my predecessors, some he gently coaxed into quitting. Or at least, that’s how he described it. But I didn’t bother to correct her.

“David will calm him down,” Ev said, her voice absolute.

It was sweet, the way she hero-worshipped her husband. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had such faith in a lover. David and Ev had gotten married one drunken night in Vegas six months back. It’d been splashed all over the media. Apparently, it was one hell of a story, though I hadn’t managed to hear it all yet. Ev had asked me to go out with her and her friends a couple of times, but I always made excuses. Not that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, it just didn’t feel right with me working for her brother-in-law.

At any rate, dealing with Jimmy was my job. I gave Ev a small smile of apology and slid the room key through the lock. Time to don the hat of hard-assery which according to my ex, bless him, definitely fit.

Slowly, calmly, I pushed open the door. Four feet from my face a glass smashed against the wall, shocking the absolute shit out of me. I in turn hit the floor, my heart going manic inside my chest.

“Lena,” Jimmy bellowed. “Get the fuck out of here!”

God damn mother-fucking rock stars.

Seriously.

Lucky I’d worn pants after all. Carpet burned knees would not have been nice. Also, the minute we got back to Portland, I was either finally quitting, demanding hazard pay, or both. No way was I making enough for this.

“Throw one more thing, Jimmy, and I’ll shove my three-inch heel so far up your ass you’ll need a surgical team to extract it.” I glared up at him from behind my dark bangs. “Is that understood?”

He scowled.

I sneered.

Same old, same old.

“Are you alright?” David Ferris strode across the luxury suite, circumventing a broken side table and smashed lamp. He offered me his hand, helping me back up. Both Ferris brothers had looks, money, fame, and talent. Only one of them had any manners, however. Regardless of etiquette, my gaze stayed glued to the furious man on the other side of the room.

“Fine. Thanks.” I straightened my skewed glasses.

“I don’t think he’s on anything,” David said quietly. “Just having a bad day, you know?”

God, I hoped Jimmy hadn’t taken anything. For both our sakes.

“It’s a tough time for everyone, Lena.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Across from us, Jimmy paced back and forth, hands balled into fists. Normally, the man was a princess, a show pony, put together with perfection. Hair slicked back and designer everything. As eye candy went, his superior rock god status made him ideal. I was safe to fantasize and indulge my libido while remaining well beneath his notice.

(Sadly, my sex drive hadn’t died when I’d taken my vow of no men. How much simpler life would be if it had.)

Today, however, Jimmy seemed all too human, only half dressed with his dark hair falling over the sharp angles of his face and matching stubble lining his jaw. His usual airtight control was nowhere in evidence. The state of him and the room was shocking. Nothing seemed to have been left unharmed. I must have looked like one of those clowns at the fairs, the ones you where you lob a ball in their mouth to win a prize. My head kept turning this way and that, trying to take it all in.

“What a mess.” I muttered.

“Want me to get Sam?” David asked, referring to the band’s Head of Security.

“No, I got this. Thanks.”

He narrowed his eyes. “I can’t imagine him doing anything, but … he’s pretty wound up. You sure?”

“Absolutely. We’ll meet you downstairs.” Confidence was everything. I held the door open and he slipped through, giving me worried looks all the while. My fake smile apparently failing to appease.

“Maybe I’ll hang around,” he said. “Just in case.”

“You hired me to deal with him. Don’t worry. We’ll be fine,” I said, shutting the door on David and Ev’s frowning faces.

Jimmy paced on, ignoring my presence.

I took one deep breath, and then another. Nice and slow. Cool and calm. All of the usual pep talks whirled around and around inside my head. You didn’t need to be perfect to get a job done, you just needed to be motivated. And think what I might of the man, his well-being was my job, my priority. I would do my best by him. Glass crunched beneath my heels as I carefully made my way across the room. Around the toppled sofa and over the broken lamp. I didn’t want to guess what the bill for all this destruction would be. Security should have been up here already. Other guests must have heard the racket and complained by now, surely. Perhaps five-grand a night bought some exceptional soundproofing.

Jimmy flashed me a dark look as I drew closer. His pupils seemed okay, normal size. He slammed his ass down on a dining room chair, displaying irritability and aggressiveness but excellent coordination. Maybe he hadn’t taken anything.

“What’s going on?” I asked, stopping in front of him.

No sign of blood though his knuckles were scratched and pink, tender looking. Legs apart, he braced his elbows on his knees and hung his head. “Get out, Lena. I want to be alone.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He grunted.

“Isn’t this a little clichéd, trashing your hotel room?”

“Fuck off.”

I sighed.

Alright, so aggravating him probably wasn’t a good idea. I pushed my glasses further up the bridge of my nose, giving myself a chance to think. Time to try something new. The man only had on black suit pants, no shirt, no shoes. And as nice as his inked chest and shoulders were, he couldn’t go like that to a funeral. Especially not in this weather.

“Jimmy, we’re leaving soon. You need to finish getting ready. You don’t want to be late, do you? That would be disrespectful.”

No response.

“Jimmy?”

“I hate when you use that voice,” he said, still staring at the floor.

“What voice?”

“When you try and sound like my therapist. You’re not, so cut the shit.”

With there being no right answer, I kept my mouth shut.

Veins stood out in stark relief on the side of his neck and a sheen of sweat outlined the musculature of his back. Despite the anger, however, his pose was one of defeat. The man could be more than an occasional arrogant dick, but Jimmy Ferris was strong and proud. In the couple of months since I’d become his babysitter I’d seen him in all sorts of moods, the bulk of them bad. Never, though, had I seen him beaten. It hurt. And the pain was as unwelcome as it was surprising.

“I need something,” he said, voice guttural.

“No!”

“Lena … shit. I can’t—-”

“You can.”

“Just get me something,” he snapped.

“I won’t do that, Jimmy.”

He surged to his feet, face tight with fury. Every survival instinct in me screamed to step back, to run and hide. Dad had always said I was too stubborn for my own good. Even in my heels Jimmy towered over me, and the man’s favorite new pastimes were jogging and bench-pressing weights. The adrenaline surging through my system made sense, but Jimmy wouldn’t hurt me.

At least, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t.

“One fucking drink,” he roared.

“Hey—”

“You have no god damn idea with this is like. I just need one fucking drink to get me through. Then I’ll stop again. I promise.”

“No.”

“Pick up the phone and order it.”

“You smashed the phone.”

“Then get your ass downstairs and get me a drink.”

I shook my head.