Leader of the Pack (35 page)

She had no idea how to make herself look human, but she didn’t want to leave the room looking like this, or at the very least without finding some clothes. She opened drawers and the closet looking for something to wrap around herself so that she could go find a bathroom. When she didn’t find anything, she contemplated the sheet on the bed
. I don’t even have a toothbrush.
Finally frustration got the best of her. She was feeling trapped. Aislinn threw the door open and looked out into the hall. She waited patiently, hoping that someone would come walking by and she could ask for help.

When a pretty dark haired girl came walking down the hall, Aislinn stepped out to talk to her. The girl yipped and backed up. Aislinn almost growled at her out of spite, then caught herself. Here she was, looking like one of those things that had just invaded and killed people. No wonder the girl was scared of her. “Don’t,” Aislinn said holding up her hands, “I just need some clothes and maybe a toothbrush. I’m on your side.” The last words came out almost sarcastically.

Recognition flowed over the girl’s face. She bowed her head submissively and blushed. There wasn’t a lycan on the reservation who didn’t know who Aislinn was, what had happened last night, and how their alpha felt about her. “I’m sorry, miss, I didn’t recognize you. I can get you some clothes,” she said sweetly, not raising her head.

“Um, just Aislinn, okay? Uh… what’s your name?” she said, not sure how to handle the girl’s suddenly overly respectful tone.

“Milis.” The girl looked up and smiled broadly. Usually the higher members of the pack didn’t ask the names of omegas for something as simple as getting some clothes. They’d just send the omega running. “What would you like?”

“It doesn’t matter. Just clothes.” Aislinn answered with relief and quickly added her size to the statement. Milis nodded and headed off down the hall.

Aislinn went back into her room. She sat on the edge of the bed. Her stomach growled, and she really needed the bathroom. She hoped that Milis wouldn’t take too long. Aislinn’s prayers were answered, when Milis returned almost as quickly as she had left. She brought jeans and a plain white t-shirt, a bra and underwear, and socks and shoes. “Thank you so much Milis.”

The girl beamed at Aislinn as though nothing else in the world could have made her as happy as having brought Aislinn these clothes. The girl was being so sweet that Aislinn thought to take advantage of it. “Do you think you might be able to help me with one more thing?”

Milis nodded happily. “Of course.”

“Well I was wondering where the bathroom is,” Aislinn said hastily. “But when I get done with that.” She paused and tried to think of how to put it.
Fuck it
, Aislinn thought angrily.
There is no delicate way of saying I’m ignorant and don’t know how to control this curse that’s been dumped on me.
“I don’t know how to change this back to normal,” she said uncomfortably.

Milis’ happy look turned to uncertainty. She shifted and seemed to think about how Aislinn had said that. “Normal?”

“Human looking,” Aislinn responded, but that didn’t seem to help Milis return to the happy helpful girl she had been moments before.

She nodded and looked at Aislinn sympathetically. “I’m sorry. I think you’re asking me to help you learn how to shift. That’s really kind of a personal thing. Parents teach it to their children privately. It’s rather a—“

Aislinn had the overwhelming fear that she would be like this forever. She interrupted Milis. “Well I don’t have parents or anyone else to teach me anything,” she said angrily and teary eyed.

Milis lowered her head again. “I am sorry, Miss. Perhaps one of the betas or Lord Arnauk—“

Aislinn interrupted her again, the anger in her voice increased, and a note of sarcasm filtered into it. “Lord Arnauk has more important things to do than deal with me.”

Milis raised her eyes at that. Obvious confusion and disbelief marred her face. “Miss, Lord Arnauk brought the entire pack out here looking for you. He risked and lost a lot of lives to get to you, not the least of which was his own. It may not be my place to say, but the tone you used when speaking of him wasn’t what I would have expected from that. He wouldn’t have done this for anyone else that I know of.” Milis looked personally offended.

Aislinn could see from the near fear in the girl’s eyes, mingling with the rest of her emotions, that normally Milis would not have been quite this bold.
But she doesn’t know about what happened in the office.
“Fine. Thank you for your help,” Aislinn said shortly. “Just point me toward the bathroom.”

Milis returned the snippy tone and sent Aislinn down the hall. After getting cleaned up, Aislinn headed outside. She wanted to clear her head. As she walked across the lawn, she started to rethink the day in Cullen’s office. She thought about how little was actually said. She thought about how they continually seemed to be misunderstanding each other.
But there wasn’t anything to misunderstand. He was getting rid of me
, she thought. When she looked up she found that she was standing in the clearing just outside the standing stones.

Horrible memories raced into her mind. She had to work hard to block the image of her grandmother’s body lying on the ground. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering.

* * * *

Cullen watched Aislinn head across the lawn toward the woods. He instantly got up and headed out of his office, down the hall, and through a side door. He’d be damned if he was going to let her take off without a word. He didn’t trust her to stay put for an instant. When he got out the side door he saw a pretty little brunette following quietly from a distance.
Keith’s idea of a guard. If Aislinn wants to leave that little thing isn’t stopping her.
Cullen scared Milis as he came up behind her. “I’ve got her. Go on back to the cabin.”

Milis nodded gratefully and disappeared back inside. She had looked frustrated. Cullen wondered what Aislinn had done to upset Milis.
Hard to say with Aislinn,
he thought angrily.
She seems to have a gift for that.
By the time he caught up with her, she was standing in the clearing outside the stones and holding herself. Cullen felt his anger melting when he saw the obvious signs of her upset. She had lost her grandmother, and he knew that other things had happened. He was compelled to go to her, but he didn’t think he could take it if she pushed him away again.

Aislinn heard the footsteps coming up behind her. As a breeze filtered past, she caught his scent and knew Cullen was watching her. Her heart raced in her chest. She was so tired of feeling like this, and now she wasn’t even positive that she was thinking straight.
What I wouldn’t give for a premonition now.
Her dreams lately had all been nightmares reflective of her day life. She waited to see if he would do something or if he intended to just stand there watching her.
Well, I suppose it’s encouraging that he isn’t just letting it go. I suppose I’m going to have to talk to him eventually.
When he didn’t do or say anything, she walked toward the standing stones. The one that had been toppled in the fight the night before was still flat on the ground. “Is someone going to stand it back upright?” she called out to him.

Cullen let her voice sink into him.
At least she sounds willing to talk,
he thought as he stepped out of the edge of the woods and approached her. He noticed she was still in her hybrid form and wondered if she liked it that well or if she was having trouble controlling her change. When she tried to hide her face from him, he guessed the latter. The last of his anger ebbed away and was replaced with guilt for not having been able to keep her safe.

“Someone will probably stand it back up. There have been other concerns to this point.” He managed to get up next to her without her trying to get away. Something about Aislinn’s demeanor made him a bit braver, and he let an arm slide around her back. When she didn’t pull away, he put his other hand beneath her chin and made her look at him. He smiled at her, reading the hurt and confusion in her eyes. “Besides, it’s awfully heavy,” he said softly, trying to sound light and make her smile. There was a long silent pause. He stared into her amber eyes and felt a terrible ache, as he took in all the cat-like features of her face. “
Tá tú hálainn,” he said breathlessly.

She dropped her eyes from his and moved to bury her face against his chest. She just couldn’t keep looking at him.

“You don’t believe me,” he asked gently.

“How could a wolf find whatever the hell I am beautiful,” she asked with annoyance.

“I thought we already had this discussion. I do remember telling you at one point that it wouldn’t matter,” Cullen said, in his most sincere tone. His stomach was turning, he was so nervous. If he didn’t take this opportunity, he didn’t know if he’d get another one. “Besides, I do find you incredibly beautiful. And it’s not just because of what you look like or smell like. I like the way you make me think and feel. You’re intelligent and capable. I never knew what I wanted until I met you.”

Aislinn looked up at him. She wanted to believe him so badly.

Sarah’s words echoed in Cullen’s mind.
She better be right,
he thought, knowing that if Aislinn ripped his heart out they’d be finding a new alpha for the Arnauk. He cleared his throat, and Aislinn could see a nervous schoolboy looking at her through his eyes. “
Aislinn Brianne Stevens,” he said, with a lopsided grin, using her full name. She finally smiled back and it gave him courage to continue. “Tá grá agam duit.”

Aislinn felt her heart start beating again. She didn’t even know that it had stopped. He leaned down and nuzzled her face up so that he could kiss her, afraid to wait for a response. Electricity shot through them both as their lips met. Her hands slid up his chest and gripped his shirt in her fists as though he may try to pull away. His arms wrapped around her more tightly. One hand slipped up into her hair. It took some coaxing, but she opened her mouth to his inquisitive tongue, allowing him to explore the new fangs. She sucked on his tongue gently and bit at it as he tested the sharpness of one fang.

He smiled against her mouth at her little game. He kissed her nose and then nuzzled his against it again before looking down into her eyes as if to ask for her answer. Her brilliant amber eyes swirled with blue flecks. Cullen hadn’t thought they could be more beautiful than they had been before. He had to admit, he liked the amber better than the silver.
She’ll need to learn to control that
, he thought, pleased that he might actually get the chance to teach her if she’d let him. He refused to let go of her, afraid that her mood might shift against him again. She still hadn’t answered him, but she seemed happy with what he had said. In the silence, his next thought was out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying. “Mate with me.”

Aislinn was shocked. She pulled back a little so that she could look into his face and try to read him. She actually considered invading his mind to see what he was thinking. “How do you go from wanting to get rid of me to wanting to mate with me over night,” she asked suspiciously.

Cullen’s brow furrowed and upset seeped into his eyes. “I never wanted to get rid of you. It killed me to suggest that you go back to your family. But it seemed like that was what you wanted, and you were afraid to say it. I know how I would feel if I was told to choose between the pack and…” Cullen stopped as he realized where that one was going.

“And me?” Aislinn asked. “What would you do?” Her voice softened and sounded more curious than angry. “I mean. I’d never ask you to do that. But…”

“I already made that choice,” he said definitely. He stared into her eyes hard. “If I can’t have you, I don’t want any of it.”

“I don’t understand. I mean, I already left my family to protect them. And now,” she looked at the spots on her hands, “there really is no going back to them. Not like this. I’ll miss them until the day I die. But if it had come down to it, and I could have gone back or stayed with you.” She shook her head and seemed to look inside herself. “I would have stayed. I just didn’t know how to say it to my grandmother.” She looked at Cullen again, understanding resolving her features.

Cullen leaned down and kissed her. The passion in that kiss exceeded everything he had ever felt. His hands roamed over her body, trying to pull her closer. Heat rolled low in Aislinn’s belly, and the scent of her need rose between them as readily as his steel erection pressed against her hip. Cullen growled and pulled back to look down at her. “So is that a yes?” he prompted hopefully.

Aislinn smiled at him as she tried to catch her breath. Relief and need overwhelmed her. “Now?”

Cullen grinned excitedly, hoping that the emotional roller coaster ride was ending. “If you want now I could probably arrange it. But it generally takes a bit more than an announcement in the great room. And there are quite a few people who lost mates last night who might not be enthusiastic about attending a mating ceremony alone the morning after.” He bent to kiss her again, licking her lips and then sucking and nibbling on her lower one.

Aislinn moaned into his mouth as he kissed her. Encouraged by the sweet sound, Cullen’s hands found their way beneath her shirt. He growled with pleasure as his hands found soft fur covering her back. He let his fingers dance along her back wondering where each stripe was and wanting to see her naked again.