Lean On Me (Take My Hand) (25 page)

Rachel

Closing
Jared’s apartment door behind me, I was
what can only be described as royally fucked. After work I met up with Holly.
How naïve was I believing her when she said she needed just a ‘spot’ of
shopping?

Entering
the living room I found Jared asleep on the couch, curled up into a ball and snoring
like an old man. I couldn’t prevent the anxiety that set in and, maybe
selfishly, I had to wake him to put my mind at rest.

“Jared?”
I probed quietly, nudging his shoulder.

“Oh,
hey, saffy,” he mumbled, rubbing at his tired eyes.

“Are
you okay? Did you have another seizure?”

“No
I’m good. Just knackered. I think those meds are knocking me for six.” I
nodded, relieved. “That and a phone call I had a couple of hours ago.”

“Oh?”
I pressed curiously.

“Dexter
called.”

“Dexter?
Is Emily okay?”
Oh God something’s
happened to Emily and she thinks I’m fallen out with her…

“Em’s
fine. How? I have no fucking idea after what she’s been through, but yeah,
she’s okay.”

“Why,
what the fuck’s happened?” My heart began to pound at the mere idea of Emily
suffering without me. Jared hauled himself up into a sitting position and
patted the spot next to him on the sofa. Moving the shopping bags off my knees
and onto the floor, I removed my armrest and scooted over to sit beside him.

It
took Jared almost an hour to repeat everything Dexter had told him. Jesus. I
had
no
idea. Of course I didn’t
– Emily and I had barely spoken for months. Guilt slammed into my chest
like a brick wall and when Jared said Dexter wanted us to visit when they got
home, I didn’t hesitate to agree. I can’t say a part of me wasn’t disappointed
that ‘home’ wasn’t here in London though. It stung – badly. This isn’t
how our ‘new life’ was supposed to go.

Then
again, I wasn’t supposed to be knocked up with twins and madly in love with my
goofy friend. Guess we don’t always get to decide how life pans out eh?

“You’ve
been shopping?” Jared noted, nodding towards the bags on the floor.

“Ugh.
Holly. Need I say more?” Jared chuckled and I knew he understood what I mean.
Holly can be extremely persuasive. It’s those damn eyelashes of hers. She’s got
the begging flutter down to a tee. “Look what I got though!” I practically
squealed, reaching down to the bags and pulling out my favourite purchase.
“They’re for Jess,” I explained, holding the twin-set of blue babygro’s proudly
in the air.

Jess
found out she was having a boy last week. The only person who isn’t thrilled
about that is Jared – he still thinks she should’ve waited to find out. He
even said he didn’t want to know what Jess was having until the day he or she
arrived. But naturally, knowing that everyone else knew, curiosity took over
and he gave in after less than an hour.

As
yet, I still don’t know what will happen at our twenty-week scan. I am
literally vibrating with desperation to know what we’re having, but I just
don’t think I could cope with the disappointment on Jared’s face.

“Cute,”
he responded, taking the jumpsuits from me. “Do you still think we’re having a
girl? You’ve not mentioned it since we found out we were having twins.”

“I
don’t know,” I shrugged. “I wasn’t exactly shit hot at predicting how many
babies we were having so I kind of lost faith in my gender guessing abilities
too.”

“You
still want to know, don’t you?”

“Yes,”
I admitted honestly. “But I will wait if you don’t. It’s not like I won’t get
to find out eventually.”

“If
it makes you happy, then finding out will make me happy too.”

“Are
you serious?” I screeched. I didn’t even try to play the ‘oh no, you can’t
agree just for me’ card. He’d said it, so I was bloody well taking it. “Jared,
I
love
you!”

“Yeah,
so you keep saying.” I leaned over and smothered his whole face with kisses
– his forehead, eyebrows, eyelids, cheeks, jaw… then I licked his nose.
“Eww,” he complained, wiping his nose on the back of his hand.

“Everything’s
going to be okay, isn’t it?” It wasn’t really a question. I knew that because I
didn’t wait for an answer before starting up again. “Everything is slotting
right into place. I know there’s still a lot to figure out, but I really don’t
think I’ve ever been so happy.”

“Me
too, saffy. Me too,” he agreed, kissing the top of my head as I rested it on
his chest. “You ready to see the house tonight?”

“Hmm.
I guess so.” Maybe I was being an ungrateful bitch but I couldn’t seem to push
the reservations I felt from my mind. Alistair Mattheson is a jumped up prick
and I didn’t quite trust that he wouldn’t use this house against us some day. I
didn’t like the idea of him having a hold over us, but I also knew we couldn’t
afford to do it alone in today’s economy and I needed to do what was best for
the babies.

“I
understand why you’re worried – really I do. And I can’t believe I’m even
saying this but… I really think he’s changing. I think he’s trying really hard
to be a good grandparent.”

“Well,
we’ll see,” was all I could muster. If he wanted me to trust him, the pompous
prick was going to have to earn it with more than a show of his wallet.
Although naturally, that helped a little. “Ugh,” I groaned.

“What’s
wrong?”

“I
need a wee again.” Damn if this isn’t the worst thing about being pregnant
– needing the toilet every five bloody minutes.

“Let
me know if you need any help,” Jared offered.

“You
offering to wipe my drips off?” He was just too easy to take the piss out of
sometimes.

“I
was trying to be nice!” he protested. “You always have to ruin it.”

Sticking
my tongue out at him, I scooched to the edge of the sofa and lifted myself into
my chair.

“I
wouldn’t say no to a Pot Noodle when I’ve finished,” I said, winking at him.

“If
our babies come out bright yellow I’m blaming you,” he joked, shaking his head.

“And
if they come out wearing your goofy grin, I’m putting them back!” I called over
my shoulder when I was half way out the room.

**********

Jared
had to nip into work on the way to his parents’ to go over the new rota with
Mick. I went with him seeing as we were heading straight to his mum and dad’s
and everything was going fine until Mick offered to give us a ride. Jared tried
to decline for obvious reasons – you know the whole ‘brothers hating each
others’ guts’ thing – but Mick all but insisted, saying he would park at
the end of the drive and leave before anyone saw him.

This
plan was all working out pretty well… until Alistair stormed out of the front
door just as Mick was getting my wheelchair out of the boot of his car.

“What
the
hell
are you doing here?”
Alistair growled at Mick. Mick set my chair down by my open door and then
surrendered his palms.

“I’m
not here to cause trouble, Al. I’m just leaving.”

“The
fact you’re still breathing causes trouble for me!” Alistair snapped, closing
in on Mick. Christ he was angry – livid in fact.
So
mad the thick veins in his neck popped out.

“Dad,
back off. He’s going.” Jared tried to intervene but his dad shoved straight
past him like a man on a mission – a mission to destroy.

“How
have you got the nerve to show your face around here?” Alistair continued to
snarl, pressing his body against his brother’s. I attempted to hoist myself
from the car, but Jared stopped me with a firm hand on my shoulder.

“Stay
in the car,” he ordered.
Um… no!
I
decided petulantly. I wasn’t having him ordering me around like that. “Stay in
the goddamn car, Rachel!” he yelled when I lifted one of my legs out of the footwell.
The fierceness in his voice startled me and I shrank back. Good job too,
because seconds later I heard the crunch of a fist hitting flesh, and Mick’s
body slammed into my side of the car, flying into my empty chair and only
narrowly missing where I was sitting.

“ENOUGH!”
Jared roared. I didn’t realise my eyes were closed until they sprung open at
the sound of his voice. “She’s pregnant, you selfish idiots! You could’ve hurt
her!”

“You’re
out of your fucking mind, brother,” Mick sneered as he climbed to his feet,
pressing his fingers against the dripping cut on his lip.

“You’re
no brother of mine after what you did to my wife.”

Okay,
I get that Mick made a pass at her
years
ago
but was it
really
worth all this?
Unless of course that was just a bullshit story they fed to Jared. Seeing the
rage blazing from Alistair’s usually reserved eyes, that was seeming more
likely.

“Dad
come on,” Jared tried to calm, holding Alistair back by placing his hands on
the front of his chest. “Isn’t it time we moved on from this?”

“Moved
on?” Alistair blasted, tossing a revolted glare towards Mick. “He attacked
her!”

What the fuck?

“
Attacked?”
Jared repeated, shaking his
head in confusion before turning to Mick. “What the fuck is he talking about,
Mick?” You could see the darkness of betrayal cloud over Jared’s eyes as he
silently begged his uncle to say this was a pack of lies. “MICK!” Jared yelled,
taking a forceful step towards him when he got no response.

“You
need to ask your mother,” was Mick’s calm reply.

When
I caught sight of the drapes twitching in the window, shortly followed by an
anxious looking Sue bounding out of the front door, I dragged my chair back
into position and lifted myself into it. If the shit was going to hit the fan I
wasn’t going to sit back and watch from the car.

“W-what’s
going on?” Sue stammered nervously, pressing a hand to her chest.

“You
tell me,” Jared spat. “Dad said Mick
attacked
you! Is this true?”

“Go
on, Sue,” Alistair interjected. “Tell him what that bastard did to you!”

Holy
shit. This couldn’t have been further from how I expected today to turn out. My
heart was racing and not knowing what else to do I reached up and placed my
hand on the small of Jared’s back – a small gesture to let him know I was
with him.

“Let’s
not do this outside,” Sue whispered tersely, nervously scanning the surrounding
houses for signs of busybodies.

“Well
he
is not stepping a foot inside my
house. In fact,” Alistair’s gaze flipped to Mick. “If you don’t get off my
property within the next thirty seconds I’m calling the police.”

“Al,
please,” Sue begged.

“Don’t
worry, Sue. I’m leaving.” Mick held his palms in the air and I swear I saw a
flash of sorrow in Sue’s eyes.

“No.
This has gone on long enough. We have babies coming! This family has been
falling apart for
years
. I’ve had
enough! It ends.
Today.
”

“Spray,”
Alistair sputtered, clutching at his chest. “I need my GTN spray.” Fabulous.
Let’s throw a heart attack into the mix while we’re here huh?

“Dad
– inside,” Jared ordered. Obviously anxious about the pain in his chest,
Alistair complied while Sue hurried in after him. “There better be a good
fucking explanation,” Jared growled at Mick, keeping his wary eyes on him as he
bent down to kiss my forehead before pushing me inside. His green eyes were
narrowed – suspicious and oozing warning. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered
as he tilted me backwards to get me over the small step by the front door. “You
don’t need this shit right now.”

“None
of us do,” I replied. “But it’s happening so we need to give our balls a
scratch and deal with it.”

Sue
and Alistair were in the living room. Alistair was spraying his angina spray
under his tongue while Sue hesitantly patted his back. A tense silence ensued
while everyone waited for Jared’s father to either regain his breath or
collapse to the floor. Thankfully, after a couple of long minutes, he straightened
his back and blew out a forced breath.

Alistair
took one glance in Mick’s direction and his shoulders instinctively tensed.

“Now,”
Alistair began. “Does someone care to explain to me what the
fuck
he is doing in our home?” The air
was so thick it was difficult to breathe. Alistair was such a refined and
serious man, so to hear him swear with such disdain in his gruff voice was as
disconcerting as it was intimidating.

“Calm
down, Al,” Sue attempted to placate, placing her quivering hand on his arm.

“Calm
down?” Alistair blared, shrugging out of Sue’s grasp. “Have you forgotten what
he did to you?”

“He
didn’t do anything, Al.”
Whoa
. A
collective gasp resounded through the room.

“I
saw
him, Sue! Don’t play me for a
goddamn fool.”

“No,
Al. You saw him comforting me. You saw me crying, with my shirt ripped open,
and Mick with his arms around me. You didn’t
see
what you thought you saw.”