LEIF (Blake Security Book 3) (12 page)

NEW ORLEANS

KARLI

2015

              My mother had just picked up Hunter for the weekend, and Sylvie and I were sitting on my front porch having coffee. It had been a week since I’d found out from Leif about the “ghost” being alive. Sylvie and her husband were out of town until last night. I’d thought about telling her on the phone, but I didn’t want to intrude on their vacation, so I’d been going crazy with no one to talk to about this until she finally came home. She was sitting there now that I’d told her and looking like she was almost as shocked as I had been when I heard.

              “So, are you going to contact him?”

              “I don’t know what to do. Do you think I should?”

              “Maybe he’ll contact you.”

              I raised an eyebrow. “I kind of doubt it. I mean, I’m sure he’s back with his wife and kids by now…”

Sylvie wasn’t usually one to hold back on her opinion, but I could tell there was something she wanted to say about that. Instead she asked me, “What about Leif?”

              I laughed. “What about him?”

              “Listen to me honey and keep an open mind, okay? I know that you don’t believe in fate or kismet or whatever you want to call it, but…are you kidding me? For three years now this guy has been in your life. Yes, at first it was by his own doing, but since then it seems that each time you both start out on your own path once again something happens to bring you back together. And you can deny that you have any feelings for this guy other than anger, but I know you too well. There’s more there and you use the anger to camouflage it.”

              “I can’t trust him, Sylvie.”

              “Because of how this all started? He was lonely and you’ve told me yourself that the way he was raised made him different. Different isn’t bad necessarily. I mean, if I was faced with a choice between different and being someone’s mistress…”

              “Sylvie!”

              “I’m sorry Karli but think about it. This man went straight home to his wife and kids. He doesn’t know about Hunter, so if he does show up looking for you…what do you think it will be that he wants?”

              I swallowed the lump in my throat. She was right. He didn’t even know me. He spent one weekend with me. Why would he want to give up his wife and kids for that? I’ve been pointing the finger at Leif for so long, calling him delusional about us. Maybe I’ve been the delusional one all along. “You’re right. I’m not going to contact him.”

              “And what about
your
Leif?”

              I shook my head. “He’s not mine, Sylvie, and he never has been. You’re wrong when you say I hide behind my anger. I’m not hiding behind it…I still genuinely feel it. A relationship can’t be built on suspicion and anger. I’m not going to bring any man into Hunter’s life until I’m sure it’s going to stick. He’s already been cheated out of a father.”

              “Which brings me to my next question, have you thought about contacting him simply because Hunter has a right to know his father isn’t really dead? I mean a lot of men are shitty husbands and great fathers. How do you know he’s not missing out here?” Sylvie’s opinions about fathers are strong because she grew up without one.              

              “I just can’t help thinking that if he was that great of a father, he wouldn’t have cheated on the mother of his children. And then there’s the fact that he took an assignment that put his children through believing he had died and he stayed “dead” for three years. I can’t wrap my head around doing that to your child. That just doesn’t seem like a good father to me.” 

“Do you think he had a choice? I mean, maybe he had to do it as part of his assignment in the military?”

“I don’t know anything about the military, but I find it hard to believe that they could force anyone to do that. I can’t find any real documentation about it online; it’s talked about as if it’s a “legend” created by Hollywood types and not real. But let’s say he was “forced.” The fact remains that he hasn’t been at home for most of his children’s lives—and I doubt very much he has any real clue how to be a father.”

              “Your dad spent a lot of time away from home.”

She was right. My dad was a Marine. He did three tours while I was growing up, and he was hardly ever at home until I reached my teen years. But he never missed a week when it came to writing to me. He always reassured me that he was safe and he was coming home as soon as he could, and when he was at home, he was my hero.  I wanted Hunter to have a man in his life that he could turn to and look up to, not one that would simply complicate his life.  I started to say something to that effect when I heard a car pulling up on the street. It was a taxi, and as I watched, a man stepped out of the back of it. His eyes landed on me, and as I watched him come up the walk dressed in his dress blue uniform and black beret, the cup I was holding slipped through my fingers and landed with a crash on the wooden deck beneath me. It shattered into pieces and the next thing I heard was Sylvie say, “Shit! Is that him?”             

              “Yes.”

Sylvie reached down and picked up the big pieces of glass, and then she leaned in, and as she kissed my cheek, she said, “Call if you need me and be strong.” 

              I just nodded as I heard her drop the glass into the wastebasket and go through the screen door. Leif reached the bottom step of the porch just about the time the door slammed behind her. He just stood there looking at me, as if he was waiting for me to say something. Finally, I simply said, “Leif?” He looked the same, but he had a long, deep scar that ran from the edge of his right eye down the side of his face to his mouth.

He stepped up on the porch and said, “I apologize for just showing up. I was able to get your address because the army documents each piece of mail that comes through when we’re on assignment and you seemed to have sent quite a few.”

“I was…Jesus, this is just such a shock. I’m not sure what to say.”

He crossed his arms and said, “I’m genuinely surprised. I was sure the little pissant would have warned you that I was back.”

              I felt a strange surge of protectiveness towards the other Leif. “Who?”

              He shook his head and narrowed his eyes. “You know who, Karli, the little bastard who pretended to be me because he wasn’t enough of a man to get his own woman.”

              The protectiveness turned to anger. “His own woman? Like I was ever your woman? Had I known that you already had a woman who just so happened to be your wife and the mother of your children, I never would have been with you in the first place.”

He pressed his lips together and asked, “Can I sit down, Karli?”

              “I’m not sure…why are you here?”

He sat down anyways with a sigh and said, “I came here to apologize to you. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you I was married, but when we met, I was here in New Orleans instead of home in Boston for a reason. My wife and I were separated, and after I spent that weekend with you, Karli, I never planned on going back to her.”

It didn’t sound like an apology. It sounded like an excuse, and honestly like he was trying to reel me back in. One thing I was happy about was the fact that he was sitting this close to me, hinting that he wanted me back and it was doing nothing for me. I felt more emotion when he insulted the other Leif than I did when he insinuated he’d leave his wife for me. I took a breath and said, “It was a long time ago so none of it really matters now.”

“It must have mattered to you at some point. Before that little…before I was impersonated, you were the one that reached out to me, right?”

“Yes, back when our weekend was still heavy on my mind. There was something that I needed to say to you…”

“Good, because I never stopped thinking about you, Karli.”

“That’s not it, Leif. I mean, I guess it was back then, but now I don’t believe I ever could go back there, and even if I could, I’m here with you now and I can see that the feelings just aren’t there any longer.”

“I’m not in love with my wife, Karli, if that’s the problem. Think about it. Why would I agree to disappear over there…? I hadn’t heard from you, so I just assumed you went on with your life…”

“You took my phone number.”

“I was at war, Karli. I lost it. I was upset and depressed about the possibility of never seeing you again, and I loathed the very idea of coming back home to her.”

Wow, what a piece of work. How naïve was I? “What about your children?” That’s the only thing about him that I’m really interested in any longer anyways.

He at least had some shred of decency. He looked slightly ashamed as he said, “I knew it was going to be hard on them, and I felt terrible about that…but my country needed me.” He had just told me he’d done it because he didn’t want to be with his wife. 

“Your country needed you more than your children did?”

“Karli, if men like me didn’t make decisions like that…well, we would have no country to fight for at all.” What an arrogant ass. I tried to picture the other Leif saying something like that, “Men like me.” I couldn’t do it. He was still going on, “Do you know how many lives I’ve saved? I stopped the annihilation of an entire village singlehandedly. My uniform is so full of medals for bravery and valor that I can barely hold it up.” I think I may have accidentally rolled my eyes because he said then, “I’m not bragging here, just stating facts. In order to accomplish all of that, changes had to be made in my life.” He had his chest puffed out, as he ruined whatever tolerance I’d had up to that point, as he said, “It’s unfortunate that we can’t all stay home and be a part of the Honor Guard.”

“You smug, self-serving son of a bitch! Leif came home from the exact same hellhole you did and he is a decorated officer. Your insults only make you look small and petty to me so stop it.”               

“If he had been in the same places I’d been in, he would have come home in a box.”

“What is your problem with him?” The real question was why was I defending him? I was always mad at him and doing my best to even forget that he existed. Suddenly the hair on the back of my neck was standing up, and I was ready to fight this big bastard for saying mean things about him.

He lowered his voice and said, “What is my problem with him? Well, let’s start with the fact that while I was living in a fucking hut on the side of a cold mountain in the middle of nowhere, this kid tried to steal my life. He had no right to it. Just because he was too weak to get his own.” 

“Let’s face facts here, Leif. All he ever wanted was me. I was never yours. Your life is in Boston with your family or on the side of a mountain. You weren’t coming back for me. You didn’t lose my number. This—today—is about you not wanting someone else to have what you’ve marked as yours. All you ever wanted me for was sex. The other Leif wanted much more than that.”

“He’s a kid, Karli. He’s five years younger than you, and he’s a messed up kid to boot. Before he stole anyone’s identity, he was a mess. I could let you read his file. I mean, since he let you read mine, what the hell?  He has been in and out of therapy his whole fucking life because he’s not right in the head.”

I was so finished with this conversation and this man. “You need to go, Leif. We’re done here.”

“Karli, come on, you can’t possibly want this guy? You’re a smart, sophisticated woman, and he’s just a screwed-up, little boy.” He got out of the chair and actually reached for me, like I was going to fall into his arms. I took a step back and felt the railing of the porch against my legs. He reached out and put an arm around my waist, and without giving it another thought, I reached up and smacked him hard across the face on the side where his scar was. He pulled back and looked shocked, like how could I dare? After a few seconds, he chuckled and said, “Maybe I should thank the crazy little bastard. You’re as crazy as he is. Maybe I dodged a bullet because of him.”

“Get off my porch or a bullet might be the next thing you’re dodging.” He didn’t argue with me. He straightened his hat, and with his back straight, he walked off of my porch and out to the sidewalk. I watched him take out his phone and call a cab, and then I went inside, content to let my son go on believing that his father had died a hero.

LEIF

              I spent two weeks in the hospital. After a few days, I had to give statements to what seemed like every law enforcement agency in the state. Blake was awesome and he was with me every time. They checked all of our gun permits and licenses, and Judge Morrow even came in and told them that we were working for him and he had hired me as a bodyguard for his grandson. The D.A. sent someone to let me know that they had declined to press charges the day that I was discharged.

Blake picked me up from the hospital, and when we got in the car he said, “There are a few people that would like to see you. Do you feel up to a little company?” I tried to picture what my apartment looked like the last time I saw it. I wasn’t sure it was presentable for company.

              “I reckon it depends on the company,” I told him. “If it’s just the guys, the apartment will do, but if they’re bringing their ladies, I’m not so sure.”

              Blake laughed. “Well, you’re in luck since Hunter is one of the guys that wants to see you. The Morrows have generously offered their home for your coming-out party.”

              “Coming-out party? I’m not so sure I like it called that.”

              He rolled his eyes. “Homophobic much?”

              “Anyways…that was nice of them. I’m looking forward to seeing Hunter.”

              He nodded, and we drove in silence to the French Quarter. I was lost in my thoughts. Karli had visited me twice in the hospital, and both times things seemed to be better between us than they had ever been. I wasn’t stupid enough to confuse gratitude for anything else, not anymore anyways, but as long as she could stomach being in the same room with me, I’d take it.

              When we got to the house, the maid took us through the house and out to the back. I could smell barbecue as soon as I stepped through the door. After two weeks of hospital food, my mouth was watering like crazy. She led us through the rose garden and out to the pool area. There were bodies everywhere and kids in the pool. Before I could process who was there, my legs were attacked and I nearly fell over.

              “Leif! You came!”

It was Hunter, and he had wrapped his whole little body around my legs. He was in a pair of swim trunks and soaking wet. I didn’t care. Fighting the pain in my shoulder and back, I bent down and picked him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and gave me the best hug that I ever remember having in my life. It was so good that I didn’t want to let him go. He apparently didn’t either because he clung to me until I heard his mom say, “Okay Hunter, Leif just got out of the hospital, baby. I’m not sure he’s up for all that hugging.”

              I grinned at Karli over he son’s shoulder. She was wearing a bathing suit with one of those sarong things tied around her waist. My mouth was already dry from all of the meds they’d given me in the hospital. At the sight of her, it was like the Sahara Desert. “I’m always up for a good hug,” I told her. Hunter pulled back and grinned at me.

              “Thank you,” he said.

              “You’re welcome, buddy. Thank you for my card.” I sat him down on his feet and said, “You want to know a secret?”

              “Yeah.”

              “Your card is the first thing anyone ever made just for me in my life. I’m going to keep it forever.” He looked proud of that, but then one of the kids in the pool called him and he was off. I watched him go and then looked at Karli and said, “He’s a great kid.”

              “Yeah,” she said. “I’m lucky. I’m glad you’re doing better.”

              “Yeah, glad to be out of that medical prison,” I told her with a wink. “A guy can only eat so much Jell-O.”

              She smiled for a second but then turned serious again as she said, “I’m so glad you’re okay. I’m not sure how I’m ever going to thank you, but I’m glad you made it so I can try.”

              I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to that, but I was saved by Tyler’s big ass nearly knocking me over with a hug. After I said hello to him and his girl and cooed over their newest baby, Karli had gone back to her chair by the pool to watch Hunter. I made the rounds then and said hello to the rest of the guys. Abrahem had come alone. Ryder and Alicia were there with their little one, and Lucy and her new husband were there. I said hello to the judge who was barbecuing in an apron that said, “Justice for Beef” on the front of it, and I thanked him again for everything. His response was to hug me, and he actually had tears in his eyes as he told me, “You know before I met my wife, I’d never given any thought to having children. I liked Karli at once, but I wasn’t prepared for how I was going to feel about that little man. The sight of him that first day all pink and scrunched up and laying on his mama’s belly will live in my heart forever because it was the first time I ever fell in love at first sight. We will never be able to thank you for what you did for him…for us. If you ever need anything, you call me.”

              I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Thank you.”

              I got almost the same speech and another hug from Karli’s mom. Finally, after everyone was greeted, Blake shoved a soda in my hand and told me to go sit down. He pointed at the lounge chair next to Karli’s. “No beer?”

              “You’re on medication.”

              “Oh, thanks Dad.”

              “Call me that again and I’ll kick your ass.”

              I laughed. “Well, you are looking after me again and now you’re even playing match-maker a little bit.”

              He rolled his eyes and said, “First of all, I’ve listened to you whine about how bad you wanted this woman for how many years now? Second of all, if I get you hooked up with a woman, then I won’t have to take care of your big ass anymore.”

              I laughed and took my soda over and sat down next to Karli. She looked around to make sure no one was listening and then she said, “Last year, after you told me the other Leif was alive, he came to see me.”

              I took a sip of the soda just to stall and after too long of a pause I said, “Oh yeah?”

              She nodded. “He showed up at my house, and he actually thought I’d be interested in picking things up where we left off.” I liked the way this was going so far.

              “You weren’t?”

              She shook her head. “It was the only good thing about him coming to see me. It was a reminder of how arrogant and callous with people’s feelings he was. But where he really lost me was when he started trying to talk shit about you.”

              I took another sip of soda. I really liked where this was going. I had some concerns after she came to see me in the hospital that she might confuse her gratitude with something more, and as much as I’ve always wanted her, I didn’t want her like that. “I reckon he had a right to be upset with me.”

              “Maybe…but the thing was that he didn’t seem so much upset with you as he did jealous of you.”

              I laughed, “Jealous…of me?”

              “He seethed with it. Maybe it was because I was defending you.”

              “You were still mad at me back then, why did you defend me?”

              She shrugged. “I asked myself that more than once. The conclusion I finally came to was that—even when I was really angry and really disappointed in you—I always somehow knew that you didn’t mean anyone any harm and that you had a good heart. It was hard to stay mad at you for so many years.”

              I laughed and said, “You sure are good at it then because it didn’t seem hard at all from an outsider’s perspective.” She threw her pretty head back and laughed. I still loved the sound of it.

********

              The judge and Mrs. Morrow tried hard to get me to stay at their house while I finished recuperating. I told them I would just feel more comfortable at home where I had all my own stuff but thanked them profusely. The truth was that now that Karli and I were back to a good place again I was afraid that with too much time together, I’d screw it up again. Blake had their security covered again. The judge and Karli both had agreed a bodyguard for them all might not be such a bad idea for a while. I was happy about that, but what I really wanted was for the threat to be over. I wanted Jaime Guzman—and he became my latest obsession.

              Blake told me that I had to get a doctor’s note in order to come back to work. My doctor said he wanted me at home for at least two weeks. While the staff that Judge Morrow and his wife insisted on sending over to cook and clean for me were doing their thing, I sat down with my laptop and began to do some research.

              I was amazed at how much information our government had on these guys, and yet they were still unable to arrest them and put them behind bars where they belonged. Jaime Guzman was born in 1975. His father was one of Columbia’s top ten drug lords in history. Jaime was taught the business from a young age so that someday he would take the business over when his father decided to retire, or died. Instead, his father not only refused to retire but seemed as if he might live forever. The man had been shot, stabbed, and ran over more than once each in his lifetime and often simply walked away afterwards with barely a scratch. So in 2010, Jaime brought the family business to the United States. Most drug lords might look at New York or Los Angeles as a place to settle. Being smarter than the average drug lord, Jaime chose New Orleans, where the competition was slim and the soggy ground was not ripe for growing things that he imported. The Mississippi River was another bonus because more than one shipment of drugs had been seized by the authorities over the years, which meant that ten others had probably slipped in behind it unnoticed.

              Guzman had been arrested four times. Not one of those four times resulted in a conviction. It seemed that any time he was arrested, evidence disappeared and witnesses died and Guzman walked away a free man. None of the threats against the Morrows could be traced back to him—regardless of what the family and the police “knew” about him. When the police arrested him this time, it was for drug trafficking based on the talking that his now ex-girlfriend was doing to the feds. She was also being heavily protected—and rumor had it that she’d be released to the U.S. Marshalls and put into the witness relocation program. Hopefully she lives that long.

              I read through every article I could find about Guzman, and just when I started to think I was banging my head against the wall, I found something that I thought I could use. I printed off the information, spent another half an hour doing more research, and then I called Tyler.

              “You need help changing your bandages?”

              “Yeah, does your girl have time to come over?”

              He laughed. “I’d let your shoulder fall off first.”

              “I actually need a different favor.”

I told him what I found out about Guzman, and what I wanted to do. He listened quietly for a long time and then he said, “Are you gonna run this by Blake first?”

              “No. I’m justifying that by telling myself it’s not a paying job so I don’t have to.”

              “How did that work out for you when you got shot, twice?”

              “I didn’t have any back-up that day, if you agree to go with me, I’ll have you.”

              “You’re lucky the MC club is out of town for a few days.”

              “That’s me; I’m a lucky guy.”

              “I’ll meet you at the jail in an hour?”

              “Thanks, Tyler.”

              “I hope you’re ready to take the fall if this pisses off Dad.”

              I laughed. “Always.”

              “Good because you’ve always been his favorite.”