Lennon's Jinx (26 page)

“What’s
our other option?” I pull down the visor mirror to examine where Step-monster
hit me. It doesn’t look as bad as I’d imagined. The surgeon did a good job of
stitching me up.

Rena
smirks. “Go home and hang out with parental units.”

“A
drink sounds better.” Much better.

“Good.
They’re at Candor. Is that okay?”

It’s
a local bar in Naperville where Zach sometimes hangs with Kelly, but I don’t
want to make them go all the way into the city for my sake. “That’s fine.”

If
Zach goes to Kichee’s Joint instead, we won’t be there. He will stay in Chicago
once he’s downtown. He’s spent almost every Friday night there since I joined
the band. It’s curious. He wants to see me sing, but he’s still with Kelly.

Rena
nods at my cut brow. “Want to talk more about what happened to you?”

I
don’t have to hide anymore. If I can talk to a complete stranger about it, I
can tell anybody, which means I should come clean with Iz and Gabby.

When
I was fifteen, Rena begged me to tell my mom if I wasn’t going to tell her who
raped me. I just couldn’t, not after what we’d been through with Dad and her
struggling to get a job and working all those hours to get us out of debt. And
she stopped believing anything I said after Step-monster ratted on me over my
weed.

“Did
you report the attack today?” Rena asks.

“I
had to. Lennon and Currie made sure I did, and now I’m homeless.”

“Bill
must’ve lied to your mom. Give her a few days to calm down. It’s probably a
huge shock to find out the man she trusted is a dirt bag and that she left you
alone with him.”

“I’m
eighteen now. Mom doesn’t have to take me back. What am I going to do?” I
should’ve told her when I was fifteen.

“It’s
temporary,” Rena says. “Bill has fooled her since the beginning. It’s not
something she can quickly untangle in her known universe.”

Candor’s
parking lot is packed. Someone must’ve dropped Iz and Gabby off because I don’t
see either of their parents’ cars.

“Does
it look bad?” I ask, touching my stitches.

Rena
slings her arm around me after she has parked. “Makes you look bad ass.”

Pain
burns through my shoulders and ribs where I was slammed against the wall. “Ow.”

She
grins. “Sorry. A few drinks and you won’t feel that anymore.”

“I
hope so.” I stop before we go in, standing in a few inches of fresh snow on top
of a layer of mud. “Lennon opened up to me.”

“Really?
I’ve tried to dig in his dirt to get the scoop on him since middle school. Helping
him with math hasn’t gotten me anywhere. What did he say?”

“Lennon
told me about his first time. He bought me a cupcake and sang
Happy Birthday
to me.”

“Lennon
did? When that boy falls for a girl, it’ll be like a concrete block crushed his
skull. He won’t even know what semi hit him. That girl could be you.”

“Not
hardly.”

“Has
he asked you out?”

“No.
He told me he’s never dated.”

“There’s
always a first,” Rena says.

What
if he did ask me out? What would I say now?

We
go in and find Iz and Gabby drinking appletinis. They flag the waitress to come
over as we arrive at their table.

“Two
more,” Rena says to the waitress.

“Can
I see some ID?” the waitress asks.

Rena
rolls her eyes and hands her the fake ID. She looks at it then at Rena. I hand
her mine. I always feel nervous even though the IDs can fool the government.

“You
guys don’t look twenty-one,” the waitress says.

My
stomach knots. We get this some times. “Looks can be deceiving,” I say.

“Whatever,”
the waitress says, heading back to the bar.

A
DJ spins music in the booth above the floor. It’s filled with peeps dancing and
grinding.

Two
gift bags sit on top of the table. I add Rena’s present to my treasures. If I
didn’t have friends, I’d be completely lost.

“Thanks,
you guys,” I say.

Iz
and Gabby break into song for my birthday, not as melodic as Lennon’s but sweet
just the same. Rena joins them.

“Give
us the scoop,” Iz says. “Your day was far more exciting than ours.”

I
tell them everything, not holding back. The past few years I’ve come to school,
hiding my shame. I can be honest with them now.

Gabby
rubs my back. “We’re so sorry. I’ll kick his ass for you.”

“I’m
holding you to that,” I say.

We
raise our glasses.

“To
a life free of Step-monster and other jerks,” Iz says.

Until
I have to face Him in court. Lennon will be there, which is my only
consolation. He has started to grow on me in a most peculiar way, like a
favorite alternative ballad.

“There’s
a really cute guy who hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you since you and
Rena walked in.” Gabby turns her head toward the one that is standing with
three other guys. It’s the right number of guys to girls this time.

He
raises his beer to us then returns talking to his friends.

“I’m
sort of guy’d out right now.” I sip my appletini.

Iz
elbows me. “The case of the Lennons.”

“Maybe,
maybe not,” I say. I’m teetering on his fence. At the moment, I could fall
either way.

“Iz,
enough already.” Gabby shoves a gift bag to me. “Open mine first.”

I
part the tissue paper to find something silky and shiny inside. After I draw it
out, I wish I hadn’t. A ruby red camisole and thong underwear shimmy out of the
bag. The guy grins at me and points to the lingerie so his friends notice. They
have a good laugh while I stuff it back into the bag, my cheeks burning.

The
next bag has a card where Iz’s dog Sport taps out my birthday age. When I open
the card, the dog lies on his back with all four legs pointing in the air. The
caption reads “Oh no, you killed my dog.” It makes me laugh. The first time in
a long time.

Her
bag contains a bootlegged CD of an underground band that Currie loves, Crank.
The lead singer is some stupid blonde who thinks she’s the it girl. One night
when Kelly wasn’t around, Zach spent hours talking to this girl. Maybe at the
end of the school year, I can talk the guys into entering Indigo Blues in the
Battle of the Bands. It’s a ways off. I’m sure Crank will enter and then I’ll
show her who’s best.

The
last little box is from Rena. I open it and find a sterling silver chain with a
silver medallion. The engraving says “BFF forever.”

“Thanks.
You guys are the best,” I say, touched by their thoughtfulness. I’m not sure
what I’d do without them, especially Rena. Her place is like my second home and
right now, the only one I’ve got.

Like
a puppet tied to a string, I rotate my head toward the door when it squeaks open
between songs. Zach and Kelly parade through it. She’s wearing a really short
flouncy dress with her white wool coat draped over her shoulders. Her five-inch
heels and short dress accentuates her long legs. She’s taller than him in those
shoes. Zach has on his suede jacket and jeans. He spots me and diverts his gaze
when Kelly turns to see who he’s staring at. She frowns at him.

The
guy across from us finally gets up the nerve to walk over to us. “Would you
ladies like to dance with us?”

“We’d
love to,” Iz says. “I call dibs on the cute blond with you.”

“I’ll
take our purses and coats over to Lance.” Gabby picks up our stuff, goes over
to the bar, and hands it to him.

He
jams it behind the bar and waves at us. We haven’t been here in a while, but he
never forgets the night we closed down the bar, singing at the top of our lungs
at the crowd because the DJ had freaked out on acid and could no longer perform
his duties. So we improvised and kept the bar rocking until it closed.

The
guy who came over to our table leads me to the dance floor. He’s cute, not too
much older. I’m glad I came out. I toss my hair to the music and shake my hips.

Lennon
dancing with Rena enters my mind. He can really move. It’s hard to believe when
he’s kind of quiet at school. He surprises me all the time, like today, taking
charge of me and then Currie, then delivering the cupcake.

Zach
stares at me hard, only because Kelly has left him to go talk to her friends.
She runs with the Country Clubbers. They hang out at the club pool during the
summer to tan their perfect bodies.

“How
did you cut your head?” the guy asks, holding my hips while I sway to the
music.

“Car
accident.” From his expression, he believes my lie. I don’t have to go into
details with him. He’s not a somebody. Maybe he could be if I wasn’t preoccupied
with thinking about Lennon.

I
look over at Zach. He meets my gaze then glances back at Kelly. He gets up and heads
straight for me while she’s busy gossiping with her friends.

My
knees tremble as he nears us. I don’t want him to make a scene while I’m
dancing with someone.

He
walks right up to us. “Can I talk to you, Jinx?”

“Can’t
you see we’re dancing?” the guy says.

“It’s
okay,” I say, winking at him. “I’ll be back. Old boyfriend, you know.”

“Yeah,
been there before. I’ll wait, but don’t be too long.” He touches my arm before
I leave with Zach.

Kelly
is oblivious to us. She must have some juicy tidbit because her friends sit on
the edge of their seats. Why does he like her? She’s stuck-up and badmouths
everyone.

“What’s
up?” I ask, trying not to inhale his Halston cologne. He’s wearing my favorite,
and it makes my knees wobble.

Zach
studies the ground. “I want to talk with you alone.”

I
glimpse Kelly still chatting away with her friends. “I’m not sure that’s a good
idea with Kelly here.”

“Forget
about her. She won’t even notice I’m gone. I’m just an accessory for her.”

That’s
harsh. Are they having problems?

Zach
leads me outside to his hatchback Civic. He opens the door for me, and I slip
inside.

“Thank
you,” I say. He was always a gentleman. Lennon does this, too, until I told him
I could open my own.

The
car is freezing, so Zach starts it and turns on the heater. After a minute or
two of awkward silence, he asks without looking at me, “How did you cut your eye?
I don’t want you to avoid answering my questions anymore. I want the truth this
time.”

I
wish he would’ve confronted me before, but I let him drift away by not talking
to him or answering his calls. I miss us being together.

His
gaze finally meets mine. “When you quit talking to me, what happened? What did
I do to make you hate me?”

His
words cut all the way through to the bone. “Nothing.” I take in a deep breath.
“It wasn’t about you.”

Zach
clutches the steering wheel. “Then what? What made you hate me?” Tears well in
his eyes. I never really thought about how much I hurt him. At the time, my
pain consumed me and ate away at me so that I couldn’t face him or anyone else.

“I
don’t hate you.” If anything, I still love him. I wonder what it would’ve been
like to have been with him when we turned sixteen. How perfect it would’ve been
if that night with Step-monster hadn’t happened. According to Lennon, Zach
would’ve disappointed me. I think not. “I was raped after that party, the one
you didn’t show up at.”

“I
couldn’t go. Mom wouldn’t let me out of the house.” Zach stops. “What? You were
what?”

“My
stepfather raped me. Mom had gone out of town, and he was supposed to watch me.
I came home drunk, and the next day, blood stained my bed, and it hurt, really
bad.” The pain and humiliation of that night rush back to me. I don’t want to
cry, so I stop talking long enough to fight off my emotion.

Zach
pulls me into him and holds me. “I’m sorry. How often did it happen? Is that
what happened to your eye?”

“He
only raped me that once. Today, he thought, because I turned eighteen, that I
would want to…you know. When I said no, he did this.” I point to my eye.

“How
did you get away from him?”

“My
car broke down, so Lennon was going to give me a ride. He must’ve heard us
fighting because he walked right into the house. I was lucky he showed up when
he did.” My thoughts go to him. He’s in the hospital now, freaking out over
Currie, the only family he’s ever really had. Somehow, I feel I should be there
for him like he was for me today.

Zach’s
face crumples. “You like him, don’t you?”

I
laugh, though there may be some truth in his words. “Lennon’s not as bad as I’d
imagined. He’s broken, like me.”

“That’s
not enough to base a relationship.”

“You’re
with Kelly.” I don’t mention I’m not with Lennon and probably never will be,
though I can’t stop thinking about him and what he’s going through.

“Not
much longer. We really don’t have anything in common. She’s so…I’m not sure how
to end it.”

I
wanted this for so long. My heart aches for Zach, to be nestled in his arms and
feels his lips burn into mine, but then my mind drags me back to Lennon. It’s
as if a piece of me wants to be with him, if only to be his friend.

My
door opens. I practically fall out until I catch the sides of the door. The
fresh cool air brushes my cheeks.

“What
the hell are you doing?” Kelly screams at me. “I leave Zach alone for two
minutes, and you think you can waltz right up and take him from me.”

“We
were just talking,” I say in my calmest voice. It’s understandable why she’s
upset. I shouldn’t be out in his car alone with him because they’ve been dating
since the day Zach and I parted ways. She couldn’t snatch him up fast enough.
Zach was on the market a whole day when she landed him, literally, in the
backseat of his car. It was the talk of the school. So much for our planned sweet
sixteen birthdays.