Let Love Shine
Authors: Melissa Collins
LET LOVE SHINE
Copyright © 2014 by Melissa Collins
All rights reserved
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses,
places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s
imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons,
living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used
in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of Melissa
Collins, except for the use of brief quotations embodied in critical articles
and reviews.
ISBN-13:978-0-9910542-3-7
ISBN-10:0991054237
Cover design and graphics by Sommer Stein with Perfect Pear
Creative and Toski Covey Photography
Interior Design by Integrity Formatting
Edited by Becky Johnson Hot Tree Editing
Just a heads up – the novella is followed by about 11K words
of bonus materials from Let Love In and Let Love Stay. This means you will
think there is more of the novella left than there actually is. As a reader, I
tend to get annoyed (yeah, we’ll go with that) when it says there is 25%
remaining and it’s a bunch of “other” stuff. The epilogue is the last chapter
of Let Love Shine.
For those who find simple moments of beauty in their
otherwise chaotic lives.
“Okay, sweetie. It looks like you’re all set to go.” The
nurse smiles warmly at me as she hands me my discharge papers. Looking over at
Reid, she asks, “Why don’t you bring the car seat up to the room and pull your
car up front. It’ll be easier to load the little guy in his seat in here than
it will be in the car.” She tips her chin to the bassinette in the corner where
Braden is napping.
Reid nods politely, but I see the scared-shitless look on
his face. I’m sure there’s a similar one on my face too. We’re going home with
our baby today. That’ll scare the crap out of anyone.
As he walks past me, he kisses my forehead. “I’ll be right
back up.” The nurse walks out with him telling him where to park the car so it
won’t be towed, and explaining how to remove the seat.
I remember a few weeks ago when we tried to install the car
seat ourselves. Standing in the sweltering summer heat, trying to tell Reid the
instructions as he was all contorted and twisted in the back of the Jeep was
so
not fun. In the end, we got too frustrated and concerned that we were going to
mess something up, we ended up driving to the local fire station where they
installed it for us.
That sucker is good to go, now.
I scoot off the bed and wince only slightly as I stand.
Luckily, everything about my delivery went smoothly and I was only required to
stay in the hospital for two nights. But, a smooth delivery does not mean a
pain-free one, so I can’t help but wince slightly as I pad over to where Braden
lies sleeping.
Lightly grazing my fingers over his head makes him squirm
slightly. Blinking his big, blue eyes as he wakes, I feel my heart swell with
love. “Hey, baby boy. Did you have a good nap?” He stretches his arms out of
his swaddled blanket and yawns. Sliding my hands under his arched back, I lift
him and hold him so his head rests under my chin. Inhaling the sweet,
baby-fresh smell of his hair, I kiss him and whisper, “I love you, little man.”
Easing us down into the chair causes me to wince once more,
but with Braden in my arms, nuzzling against my chest, I barely notice the
pain. As he falls back asleep against my chest, I feel complete.
I know this is my purpose in life.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted nothing more than
a family of my own. Now, I have it. There’s nothing else in this world that
could make me happier. There will always be a part of me that wishes my parents
could be here to share this part of my life with them. But, in the last year or
so, I’ve learned how to make peace with their passing. It wasn’t easy and I
wish I hadn’t spent so many years in the dark over it, but with Reid and now
Braden lighting my days, the pain of them no longer being with me has lessened
drastically.
“Now, there’s something I’ll never get tired of seeing.”
Reid’s voice rouses me from my day-dreaming. He walks into the room and places
the car seat on the bed. Squatting on the floor in front of us, he brushes my
hair back out of my eyes and tucks it behind my ear. Nuzzling into his hand, I
kiss his palm.
“Thank you for taking care of me last night.” He shoots me
an ‘are you kidding?’ look.
“Maddy, I live to take care of you. And now, I live to take
care of him too.” Reid stands in front of me and opens his arms for me to hand
him Braden.
After he buckles Braden into his car seat, Reid turns back
around and helps me get out of the chair. “Yeah, but taking care of me doesn’t
usually involve brushing my hair.”
“Maddy, you had just given birth to our son and your hair
was all over the place. You wanted it taken care of, so I took care of it. It’s
that simple.” I wrap my arms around his waist and press my cheek up against his
solid chest. Inhaling the scent that is so uniquely Reid, I know he is my
knight in shining armor. “I don’t know what I did to ever deserve you,” I mumble
against his T-shirt.
Pressing his lips to my forehead, I feel his smile. “Yeah,
you did get pretty lucky, huh.”
“You know, you didn’t make out half bad either.” I arch an
eyebrow at him as I lean back from our embrace slightly.
Reid scans my face as if he’s searching for the lost city of
Atlantis or something like that. “Yeah, I guess I’ll keep you.” The dopey,
lopsided grin plastered to his face makes me laugh, which of course, is still a
bit painful. As I wrap my arm around my still more-than-slightly-rounded belly,
a small hiss of pain slips past my lips.
Concern replaces his smile. “Shit, I’m sorry, babe. Are you
okay?”
When the flash of pain passes, I wipe a bead of sweat from
my brow. “Yeah, I’m good. Just still a little sore.” The muscles in my belly
are still crazy sore from pushing and I’ve got a handful of stitches in places
I never thought to have them. “Just no more laughing, okay?”
“You got it. I promise. I will never make you laugh again.”
His cheeky response earns him an eye roll and a small, but much less painful,
laugh. “Come on. Let’s break this kid out of here and go home.” Reid clicks the
car seat handle in place just as the nurse walks into the room with my
wheelchair.
“Are you guys all ready?” She folds down the legs and pats
the seat for me to sit in.
“Yep, we’re all set.” Reid’s words are filled with so much
happiness and pride; it makes a face-splitting smile pull at the corners of my
lips.
I have this distinct memory of the first time I ever rode in
Reid’s new Jeep. I envisioned him driving home from the hospital, with me and
the baby next to each other in the backseat. I pull the seat belt across my
lap, and rest my hand across Braden’s chest. This is the most perfect moment of
my life.
We’re going home today as a family.
My family.
Our family.
A stray tear rolls down my cheek. It’s one produced of pure
happiness. Reid peeks back at us through the rearview mirror, and even though
there are no tears in his eyes, I know he feels the same way I do right now.
Complete.
When we pull up to our apartment fifteen minutes later, I
catch sight of the wooden stork announcing Braden’s birth staked to our small
patch of front lawn.
“Don’t look at me,” Reid says defensively. I told him that I
didn’t need a whole bunch of fanfare over me coming home or anything like that.
As proud as I am of my little family, I’m still a nineteen-year-old, who had to
drop out of college because she got pregnant. It may be silly, but there’s
still a part of me that feels ashamed.
Reid twists to face me in the backseat. “It was all Momma
and Mel. And you know I didn’t have a chance in hell at stopping them.”
He’s right. It’s possible that those two might be more
excited about this baby than we are.
Yeah, they’re
that
excited.
Which explains why they’re already here to greet us as we
begin unloading the car. “I got it, Maddy.” Melanie grabs the bag from my hands
and hugs me to her side. I love that she came home just for me. She just moved
into her own off-campus apartment with the girls. It’s weird that we’re both
going down very different paths now. Yet, no matter how far apart it may seem
like our lives are drifting, we’ll always be there for each other. I know this
with absolute certainty.
“Thank, Mel. You guys didn’t have to be here. You know that,
right?” Yeah, that goes over like a lead balloon with Momma who pulls a face at
me from behind Melanie.
“You’re right, Maddy,” Momma quips and smiles at me. “We
don’t
have
to be here, but a freight train couldn’t keep us away.”
With their help, we manage to get everything unloaded from
the car – flowers, baby gifts, our bags and, of course, our son.
We walk Braden into his nursery and change his rather stinky
diaper. We’re still not great at it and he wiggles so much, that within a
minute, I’ve got poop smeared on my hand and I feel like I’m going to damage
him in some way. Reid’s no better. Who would have ever thought it would take
two adults to change the diaper on a six-pound baby?
We must’ve done something wrong, because when we’re just
about done Braden gives his lungs a whirl and screams like a banshee.
I snap his onesie and pull him into my arms. “Shh, little
guy. It’s okay.” Reid stands next to me, his hand on my back for support, but I
feel like a failure. I can’t even change my son’s diaper without him crying.
And now, he just won’t stop.
Great.
As if she senses my frustration, Momma pokes her head into
the room. “You okay in here? Can I help?”
It’s as if her question opens a flood gate. I lose it. “I
was just trying to change him…he wouldn’t stop moving…I got crap all over…then
he started screaming…I…”
Damn hormones.
Rubbing calming circles on my back, Reid coos into my ear.
“It’s okay, baby. You did great.”
“He’s right, Maddy. Besides, you’ll get the hang of it and
be able to change a diaper one-handed in no time.” I don’t know why I
originally thought I didn’t want anyone here when we got home. Where would I be
without Momma?
“Thanks, Momma. What do we do now?” Reid and I look over to
her like she’s holding the Holy Grail. Yeah, we feel that clueless right now.
“I think you could both use a little nap. Let me take him
off your hands.” Cuddling Braden in her arms, she’s all too eager to play
grandma for a little bit. “Reid, go get Maddy some Advil and you should both
get some rest. You’re going to need it if you plan on making it through the
night.” Well, those words make my gut churn with nervousness. Maybe some pain
meds and sleep aren’t such a bad idea, after all.
I’m not sure if it’s the sight of my own bed, or the thought
of cuddling up with Reid, or the knowledge that Momma is taking care of Braden,
but the second I step into our room, exhaustion washes over me. Reid steps
behind me and very gently wraps his arms around my not-so-skinny waist. “I’m so
proud of you, Maddy.”
“Me? For what? Not snapping our kid’s leg off while I was
changing him?” I scoff sarcastically. Seriously, I hope it gets easier.
“Yeah, there’s that.” He pops a sweet kiss on my temple
before turning me around to face him. “But mostly, I’m proud of you because
you’re amazing and that baby is going to love you so much, no matter how
horrible you are at changing his diaper.”
I snuggle into him and thank God that I have Reid by my
side. When he feels me yawn against his chest, Reid moves to the dresser and pulls
out one of his T-shirts. “Arms up, Mommy.” He grins goofily at me, but I
welcome his help getting changed. Then, we curl up together in bed and fall
asleep almost instantly.