Let's Make It Legal (14 page)

Not only would it not be easy to walk away from her when the time came to call it quits.

It would be one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do.

Since his children were away, John stayed the night, and the next morning they decided to drive to Galveston for the day, something Sydney hadn’t done in years.

She wondered if she should call her parents and tell them she would not be coming by for dinner. She decided not to. After all, it wasn’t as if she
had
to be there. If she didn’t show up, they would assume she was working. She ignored the twinge of guilt as she pictured her father’s disappointment. He was probably looking forward to hearing what was next on her agenda.

I don’t care. For once, I’m going to do exactly what I want to do.

“Do you think it’ll be cold?” she asked John, putting her family out of her mind.

“Yes. I’d wear something warm,” he called from the patio. “It’s windy, and it’s bound to be even windier on the beach.”

Sydney put on a favorite blue warm-up suit and her Reeboks.

Then they drove to John’s house so he could change into casual clothes, too. Sydney went inside with him.

“Would you like to see the rest of the house?” he asked after he’d checked his office messages.

“I’d love to.”

But once they were upstairs, and Sydney saw all the homey touches, all the evidence that a woman had lovingly chosen the furnishings and decorations, she was almost sorry she’d come up. And when he showed her his living room, the first thing she noticed was the silver-framed portrait sitting on top of a small cherrywood table. A laughing, redheaded woman with clear green eyes looked out from the frame.

Sydney knew the woman was Andrea.

John followed her gaze. Sydney watched as his face changed and softened. “My wife,” he said.

Sydney nodded. “She was lovely.”

“Yes.” His gaze didn’t meet Sydney’s.

She swallowed. What was he thinking? Was he still in love with Andrea? Would he always be in love with her? Was he comparing Sydney to her?

Sydney knew in any comparison, she would probably come up short. How could she help it?

She could hear her father’s oft-repeated assertion:
Sydney, you should have been a man,
and that old taunt from that old boyfriend,
Sydney, you’re boring and one-dimensional.

Was John thinking about how inadequate Sydney was? Wishing Andrea was here with him, instead? Suddenly, even their lovemaking seemed suspect. Was he just using her because he needed sexual gratification? All these thoughts, and dozens of others, whirled through her mind.

“Sydney.”

She slowly looked up.

His dark gaze was thoughtful. “Come here.”

Unable to resist his lure, she walked toward him. He opened his arms, cradled her head against his chest and stroked her hair.

“Andrea will always be a part of me,” he said. “She was the mother of my children. And I loved her very much.”

“I know.” That was the trouble. She did know.

“But she’s dead. And I’m finally getting over it, and a lot of that’s due to you.”

Sydney’s heart beat faster.

He lifted her head and kissed her—a long, lingering kiss that set her pulse racing. Then he smiled and said, “Feel better?”

She nodded.

“Good. Now, if we’re going to get to Galveston and back before the kids return, we’d better get started.”

That evening, after a wonderful, lazy day of walking the beach, window-shopping on The Strand and eating fresh seafood at Gaido’s, they headed home. As they drove north on the Gulf Freeway, Sydney said, “I’ve been meaning to tell you—I’m flying to Chicago tomorrow afternoon.”

“Oh? New case or something?”

“No, I, uh... I’m going to appear on the
Geneva Ward Show.”

She could see the surprise on his face. “You
are?
Because of the Montgomery case?”

“Yes. Stupid, isn’t it?”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that this thing has turned into a three-ring circus. I
hate
the idea of being on the show.”

“If you hate it so much, then why are you doing it?”

“It’s a command performance,” she said, grimacing.

“Whose command?”

“Francis K. Folger, the fearless leader of Folger & Hubbard.”

“I can see why he’d want you to do it. It’s quite a coup.” There was an undercurrent to his voice that gave Sydney a funny twinge. “When will the show air?” he continued. “Tuesday?”

“No. It’ll be taped Tuesday morning and shown Wednesday. I think it comes on at four in Houston.” When he said nothing, she added, “Will you watch?”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

Somehow, his answer wasn’t satisfying, but she couldn’t have said why. She only knew she felt uneasy, and she wished she’d never brought up the subject.

* * *

John brought the nine-inch TV set he kept in his bedroom down to his office. At four o’clock Wednesday, he shut his office door and turned on the
Geneva
show.

The opening music was just fading.

“Last week,” Geneva said, “a little girl in Houston, Texas, was granted a divorce from her mother. This case has stirred up a lot of controversy all over the country. Many people are frightened by this decision, feeling that, on a whim, their children could decide to divorce them.”

She explained some of the details of the case, then went on to introduce all of her guests: Kara, the McKinseys, Sydney and two psychologists. Sydney had explained to John that Shanna Montgomery would appear via a remote camera—the only condition under which the McKinseys would permit Kara to be on the show.

John had mixed feelings about Sydney’s appearance today. Part of him was proud of her and knew that an appearance such as this one was going to do big things for her career. The other part of him wondered what the hell he was doing getting tangled up with someone like her—a woman whose career path and future life-style was going to be completely opposite to the kind of life he had chosen for himself.

Even so, he was filled with admiration as he watched her. Sydney fielded questions from Geneva and then from the audience with aplomb, her replies logical and succinct. She seemed completely self-possessed and confident. Sometimes it was hard for John to reconcile this professional persona of hers to her personal, much more insecure self.

“How do you answer those critics who say what you did in the courtroom is going to set a disturbing precedent, one parents are right to be wary of?” Geneva asked Sydney.

“I say as long as parents accord their children respect, they have nothing to worry about,” Sydney countered. “Perhaps those parents who consider their children possessions are right to be wary. Their children may not ever go to the extreme lengths forced upon Kara, but they may cut their parents from their lives, nevertheless.”

One of the psychologists interrupted. “I think Miss Wells has made an important point,” he said. “When a child feels a lack of respect from his parent, he often distances that parent from his life when he becomes an adult.”

He then turned to Sydney and asked her another question.

Just as Sydney began to answer, there was a knock on John’s office door.

“John?” The door opened, and Janet walked in. “John, Kate MacAllister just called—” She stopped and stared at the screen. “Isn’t that Sydney Wells?”

John nodded. “Yes.”

“Is that the
Geneva
show?” Janet’s voice had taken on a note of incredulity.

“Uh-huh.”

“What’s
she
doing there?”

“She was invited to appear because of the decision in the Montgomery case.”

Janet gave him a blank look.

“Don’t you ever read the newspaper?” John asked.

Janet shrugged. “I hate to read depressing things. You know that.” She sat on the comer of his desk and watched for a while. Then, heaving a sigh, she stood and said, “Listen, about Kate Mac—”

“Can it wait, Jan? I’d like to hear the rest of this.”

Janet frowned. “This is important, John.”

“This is important, too.”

Janet didn’t answer for a few seconds, then, in a tight, disapproving voice, said, “You’re seeing a lot of her, aren’t you?”

John stiffened and told himself not to lose his temper. “Yes, I am,” he said evenly, continuing to watch the show. Maybe she’d take the hint and leave his office. When long moments passed, and she didn’t, he looked at her. “What’s wrong?” He’d hoped to avoid another pointless discussion, but he could see his sister wouldn’t be satisfied until she’d said her piece.

“She’s
what’s wrong,” Janet said, pointing to the screen.

“And just what do you mean by that crack?”

“Oh, come on, John. You know what I mean. She’s all wrong for you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” John said. He willed her to leave the office. Drop the subject. He didn’t want to discuss Sydney, and he was getting damned sick and tired of Janet’s unsolicited advice.

What was wrong with her, anyway? She never used to be so bossy and interfering. In fact, they’d had a terrific relationship while Andrea was alive. But the minute John found himself a widower, Janet had seemed to feel as if it was her job to take care of him. She’d acted
—still
acted—as if he were incapable of making his own decisions.

“I don’t understand you,” she said. “What is it about that woman? Is it sex? Is that what—”

John stood abruptly, slamming his hand down on his desk. “Dammit, Janet! That’s enough!”

“I-I’m sorry,” Janet said, eyes wide as she backed away. “I didn’t mean—”

“I know damn well what you meant,” John said through gritted teeth. “Get this through your head. I don’t have to explain to you or to anyone else why, when or how much I’m seeing Sydney. It’s nobody’s business but mine.” He glared at his sister, his anger like an erupting volcano, impossible to stop now that it had started. “You know what your problem is? You need a few kids to worry about. Then you wouldn’t have time to try to run my life.”

Janet bit her bottom lip, and her hazel eyes filled with tears. “John...” She swallowed, her throat working. “I didn’t mean... I only meant...”

“Oh, God,” he said, bowing his head in frustration. He felt like a heel, especially after that crack about her needing kids. She and Mike had been trying to have kids for years. It was the big disappointment in their lives that they’d had no success. John ran his hands through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. But you crossed the line and—”

“I know,” she said, and he could see how hard she was trying not to cry. “You’re right. It’s none of my business. I just, well, I just
care
about you, and I hate to see you getting so involved with someone like her.”

“Jan...”

“I know I’m the one who kept telling you to go out more, to start to date again,” Janet persisted, her eyes beseeching him to understand. “But not with someone like her. You need someone who wants to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, who will be a help to you and the children.”

“Look, I don’t want to argue with you. I think it’s best if we drop the subject, otherwise we’re both going to say things we’ll be sorry for later.” John sat down again and turned his face toward the TV set. He ignored his sister.

A few seconds later, he heard her leave. When the door shut behind her, he sat there staring at the screen, but he was no longer listening or seeing anything except a replay of his argument with Janet.

He sat there for a long time. Long after
Geneva
was over. He only stirred when Emily knocked on the door and said, “Daddy, aren’t you coming upstairs?”

He looked at the clock. It was five-thirty. “I’ll be up in a few minutes, honey. Did you finish your homework?”

“Yes. I’ve been finished for
hours.”
Emily always sounded like a prim little schoolteacher with her precise diction.

“What about your brother? Is he finished?”

Emily shrugged. “I guess so. He said he was done.”

After she left, John shut off the TV. He closed the ledger he’d been working in before the
Geneva
show started. He felt depressed. He wondered if his depression was entirely due to his anger over Janet’s interference.

Or could it just possibly have something to do with the fact that Janet had only said the things he’d been thinking all along?

Maybe he
should
break it off with Sydney. Wouldn’t it be easier on everyone if they called it quits now, before things got too complicated, before they began to care too much?

Yet the thought of the lonely existence he’d led before Sydney had come into his life was intolerable. He couldn’t go back to that.

He just couldn’t give her up.

Not yet.

* * *

Because Sydney had a college friend living in the Chicago area, she stayed over after the taping on Tuesday and spent the evening and following morning with Ann. On Wednesday afternoon, Ann took her to the airport and Sydney boarded a plane to Houston. The two-hour flight gave her a lot of time to think. About John, and about her life and where it was going.

Although she hated to admit it, her father was probably right. The Montgomery case was going to cause changes in her life. If that meant she would get bigger and more challenging cases, she would welcome those changes. Sydney thrived on challenge, at least as far as her work was concerned.

But if the changes meant more hoopla with the press and being in the limelight all the time, she wasn’t sure she would be able to stand it.

Just look at this past week. She had gotten little or no concrete work accomplished because of all the phone calls and requests for interviews, not to mention the time it took to prepare for her appearance on
Geneva.

It was her work she cared about. The issues. The people involved in the cases. Not the media attention.

In fact, if Sydney had her way, she’d never face a TV camera or newspaper reporter again. She knew she was probably in the minority as far as most ambitious lawyers were concerned, but that kind of attention was meaningless to her.