Letters to the Baumgarters (4 page)

I hooked my thumbs in the elastic of my panties and peeled them down.
Nico took them the rest of the way, splaying his big palms on my thighs and
spreading me wider for his plunging tongue. I let him take what he wanted, my
limbs quivering with an overload of sensation, my hips rocking in rhythm.

He paused only a moment to murmur, “You taste like heaven,” diving back
in again with stunning ability coupled with a ferocious enthusiasm that had me
at the edge of orgasm in moments.

“Nico!” I gasped a warning, gripping his hair, my pelvis undulating,
belly quaking, poised at the brink. His fingers sent me over, dipping deep into
my pussy, drawing me out, his tongue punishing my clit with sensation, drowning
me with pleasure. I tried to be quiet, too mindful of where we were, who might
come knocking on the door, but I couldn’t help crying out with my climax, my
body quaking as if the earth had moved beneath me.

“Beautiful,” he whispered, kissing his way up my quivering belly, cupping
his whole hand over my mound as we kissed, making me whimper and melt against
him. He was fully clothed still, his belt buckle nibbling at my hip, and I
moved to rectify that situation, pulling his shirt off, exploring muscle and
sinew and flesh in the dark.

He was just as eager as I was, helping me with his belt and zipper,
shoving his jeans down his hips. His cock sprang free when I pulled his boxers
down, first into my hand and then into my greedy mouth. Nico reclined on the
bed, letting me suck him. It had been so long since I’d had a cock in my mouth,
since I’d tasted the peppery promise of cum accumulating in clear, sticky
droplets at the tip. I was dizzy with desire.

“Here.” He guided me, a fist in my hair, nice and easy, up and down his
delicious length. I tasted him in my throat, an easy burn, the promise of more
roiling in the tightening scrotum I held cupped in my palm. “Oh god. Yes. Oh
yes, bella, yes!”

I wanted to taste him, to feel the flood of his cum over my tongue, but
Nico had other ideas. He stopped me, easing his cock out of my mouth and
rubbing it over my lips and cheeks and tongue. Then he reached for me, pulling
me into the circle of his arms and rolling me onto my back on the mattress,
kissing me quiet.

His cock was heated steel between my legs, riding the rails, dipping into
the valley of my pussy. The tip teased my sensitive clit, everything slippery
wet, before sliding down and finding my entrance. He did this without looking,
just feeling his way, hips shifting forward when he felt my flesh give, sliding
into me.

“Oh my fucking god.” I said the words in English, surprising us both.

“Good?” He propped himself up on his arms to look down at me in the
darkness, the only light coming from the window, a silvery haze.

“Si!” I assured him in Italian, sliding my hands up the muscled flesh of
his arms, delighting in the mountains and valleys of his shoulders. “It’s been
so long… so very long…”

“For me too.” He bent his head to my neck, beginning to move inside of
me, his swollen length creating a delicious friction. “I might not last so
long…”

“It’s okay,” I assured him, although part of me never wanted it to end.
He felt far too good.

“I’ll try…” He panted in my ear. “Ahhhh god you’re so wet…”

I was. I slid my hand down to touch him, feeling his length where he went
into me, the place where we were joined. My pussy was on fire, my clit aching
for more, and I touched myself as he fucked me, closing my eyes with pleasure.

“Good girl,” he encouraged, forcing my thighs open further with his,
changing the angle of penetration, making us both moan. “Oh fuck.”

“Yes!” I cried, rubbing faster, faster. “Oh please, yes, fuck me, Nico!
Fuck me hard!”

He gave into it, not holding back anymore, and the force of him left me
breathless, driving me into the soft press of his mattress again and again. I
watched him in the faint light from the window, seeing his face change, his
eyes squeezing closed, his lower lip drawn between his teeth. His cock was like
granite, the heat between our legs a river of lava.

“Come for me,” I begged, squeezing him hard with the muscles of my pussy,
his eyes flying open in surprise. “Oh god, yes, yes, Nico, come with me, come
with me!”

My climax swallowed me up in one quivering mass, spitting me back out
into reality, shivering and dizzy and gasping for air. I hung onto him as he
came too, hiding the sound of my name in the soft, moist crook of my neck as he
shuddered into me, the hot flood of his cum pulsing through us both.

It took me a long time to recover. He rolled to the side, pulling a sheet
over us, and we breathed together in the darkness. At first I couldn’t focus,
but when rational thought finally returned, I remembered where I was, who I was
with, what we’d done. It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I’d had sex with
a stranger, but it was the first time in a very long time.

“Well, I think this was indulgent enough for Fat Tuesday,” I murmured,
feeling Nico stir beside me.

He chuckled. “We don’t call it ‘Fat Tuesday’ in Italy. Here, it’s Shrove
Tuesday. Do you know what that means?”

I’d heard the term but had no idea what it meant. “No.”

“It means to confess. Have you ever been to confession?”

I smiled. “No.”

“It’s very freeing, to be absolved of all of your sins,” he assured me,
tracing my navel with his finger. “Today we confess, and for Lent, we do
penance.”

“You deny yourself?” I asked. “What will you give up?”

“We have to give up something we really love for it to be true penance,”
he explained. “I considered giving up sex, but now… perhaps I’ll give up
chocolate instead.”

“Good call.” I laughed.

“So what do you have to confess?” he asked, leaning over and kissing the
side of my breast, his fingers tracing light patterns over my skin.

“Far too much for the time we have.” I slid my arm around his neck and
kissed his cheek, grateful when a knock came on the door.

“Nico!” It was Mama Dorotea and the sound of her voice had us both
scrambling for our clothes. “Why is the door locked? What are you doing? Your
sister is leaving, you should come say goodbye!”

We fumbled with buttons and zippers, Nico making excuses the whole while,
assuring his mother we’d be right down. Thankfully Giulia and Will and the baby
were already gone and I didn’t have to make any explanations. When Nico offered
to take me home, I refused, telling him I preferred to walk. I needed to clear
my head, I said. That much was true.

But it was only about ten blocks, and I would have needed a far greater
distance to accomplish that goal, I realized, as I approached the front steps
of Cara Lucia’s. I saw the light on in her window up front, heard laughter
inside. I felt as if I’d been part of a family again tonight for the first time
in so long. I hadn’t felt a part of things that way since Carrie and Doc had
practically adopted me, and it had woken something in me I had almost forgotten
about.

“There you are!” Cara Lucia opened her door as I made my way down the
hall. How she’d known I was there was beyond me. The woman seemed to have
extrasensory perception. She stood only five-foot-two and her graying hair was
pulled up and back, her aging face still quite beautiful. Her daughters looked
just like her—all five of them. I could hear them laughing and talking inside.
“Come to celebrate Carnavale?”

I felt guilty about not accepting her earlier invitation. I didn’t see
any of her other boarders—most of them foreign exchange students—sitting at the
dining room table. Had she invited them as well? Or just me, I wondered? I’d
had lunch with her almost every week at that table, talking about her husband
and daughters, my studies, my life—before. She was probably the closest thing I
had to a friend in Italy.

But I still shook my head, smiling. “No, I’m sorry, I’ve had enough
celebrating today, I think.”

“I have something for you, wait.” She held up one finger, leaving the
door open a crack.

“No, that’s—”

She had disappeared already, so I waited, sure she was bringing me a care
package, more food to add to the calorie-laden meal I’d eaten today. I smiled,
remembering Nico’s family. Remembering Nico. Just thinking about him made my
head swim. What had I gotten myself into?

Cara Lucia reappeared, something small in her palm. Definitely not the
care package I’d expected. She held it out, smiling, gesturing for me to take
it. “For you.”

The necklace was beautiful, a gold ellipse with a green stone set in the
center. “Oh, no, I can’t possibly accept this.”

“It is the emerald eye of Beatrice.” She was already folding it into my
hand. “I thought of you and your work with Dante Alighieri and knew you must
have it.”

She knew that I was doing my thesis on
The Inferno.

“That is so sweet of you.” Of course, now I felt doubly guilty for not
taking her up on attending her Carnavale celebration. “Thank you, Cara Lucia.”
I leaned over to kiss her cheek.

She beamed. “Perhaps your Dante will return to his Beatrice.”

“You mean Mason?” I blinked, looking down at the charm in my hand. It had
never occurred to me that my ex-husband might be my Dante—the doomed love of my
life, a relationship destined to end in tragedy, at least on the worldly plane
of existence.

“He redeemed himself in the end, you know,” Cara Lucia reminded me with a
wink.

“And Beatrice might have been better off if she’d just let him go,” I
countered, turning the charm over in my hand. I had to admit, I was thinking of
Nico.

When I looked up at Cara Lucia, I saw the speculative look in her eyes.
I’d told her a great deal—probably too much—about my relationship with my ex
and everything that had happened when it all fell apart. “Anyway, thank you.
It’s beautiful.”

“L'esperîenza di questa dolce vita,”
she murmured, squeezing my
hand. It was a quote from Dante—
the experience of this sweet life.
“It
is yours, Cara,” she told me, using the endearment her own man had given her
years ago. Cara meant ‘beloved’ and she had been called  Cara Lucia her whole
life because her husband couldn’t speak her name without putting his love for
her first. “It is all of ours.”

I thanked her again for the charm, promising to come by next week some
time for lunch, going upstairs and down the hallway to my own room. Jezebel was
waiting, mewing impatiently for her own Carnavale feast. So we sat on my little
bed and listened to Venice celebrating and I hand-fed her the bread and cheese
I had been expecting to eat for my own dinner.

So many things had happened that I hadn’t been expecting today. What else
did the experience of this life have in store? I wondered, looking at the
charm. So far, aside from a few bright moments, life hadn’t been very sweet to
me. But maybe I was just being ungrateful. I put the necklace on and found
myself thinking of Nico with a little spark of hope.

* * * *

I had come to Italy for so many things, including the great food, of
course, but sometimes I just wanted a good old American cheeseburger. The Mood
Café had the best cheeseburgers around, and that’s where I told Nico I’d meet
him for lunch. He was late, and I was already eating, drinking a vanilla Coke and
dipping my fries in hot mustard, when I saw him walking up the cobblestone
street.

The day was bright, a little chilly, but I’d decided to sit outside
anyway. Italians were oblivious to the weather. In America, life was about
comfort. In Italy, it was about experience. If it was cold, you were cold. If
it was hot, you were hot. If it was raining, they didn’t care. In the summer,
there was no air conditioning anywhere, and it was hot as hell—but no one
cared. Those weren’t problems to be fixed, but rather things to be experienced.

I smiled as he approached, seeing his eyes light up when he saw me. I
couldn’t help my body’s instant response when he bent to kiss my cheek,
remembering his lips, his mouth, his hands. It still felt like a dream, like
something that had happened to someone else and not to me.

“Thank you for waiting, bella,” he murmured against my ear.

“Last minute gondola customer?” I guessed, smiling at the waiter as he
refilled my water glass and took Nico’s order—cheeseburger, fries and cherry
Coke.

“My mother.” He sipped his own glass of water. “She asked me to come home
to help her move a table.”

I blinked. “And you left work for that?”

“I didn’t have any customers.” He shrugged. “Carnavale is over and the
tourists have all gone home.”

“But you had a lunch date with me,” I reminded him.

“And here I am.” He spread his hands,
taa-daa
, and smiled.

“Yes, here you are.”
Late,
I thought, but didn’t say it. “So tell
me something…”

“Anything.” He reached over and snagged one of my fries, crunching
happily and grinning at me. There was something about him that made me want to
smack him and kiss him at the same time. He reminded me of someone, but I
couldn’t quite put my finger on who.

“How do you become a gondolier exactly?”

“Do you have career ambitions?” He raised an eyebrow and then laughed.
“The training is actually quite extensive. You have to go through a year-long
apprenticeship and take several tests.”

“Really?” I moved my plate out of his reach when he went for another fry.
“I had no idea it was so involved.”

“The association actually caps the number of gondoliers they’ll allow to
work in the city.” His gaze wandered to the people passing on the street and I
noticed a pretty blonde—and noticed him noticing her.

“So it’s kind of an exclusive club.” I offered him a fry, a distraction.
I didn’t blame him for looking—the woman was stunning—but I also didn’t feel
like competing.

“I suppose it is.” He took my peace offering. “My father was a gondolier
and my father before him.”