Authors: Paula Stokes
Liars, Inc. (24 page)
She turns away from me and blots at her eyes again. “I hate being pathetic.”
I reach out and touch the back of her arm, squeezing gently. “You're not pathetic,” I tell her. “You're just human, that's all.”
She shakes her head. “I know I let you down, just like I let down my parents, and everyone else.” She turns back to face me, her emotions once again under control. “I'm sorry.”
“I thought you didn't believe in apologies.”
“I'm beginning to think I was wrong about everything.” She sighs. “I have so much to make up for. I can't believe I have to leave in a couple of weeks.”
A fist clenches in my stomach. My feelings for Parvati are all tangled up, but I can't imagine surviving the spring semester without her. Still, maybe her parents are right. Maybe she does need to get away for a while. “It'll probably be good for you, you know? Help you with the coke thing.”
“I don't have a
coke thing
, Max,” she huffs. “I only did it every once in a while, and I quit soon after we started dating. Unfortunately, I had a little left and my mom found it in my room.”
“You quit using because of me?”
“You made me realize I didn't need it,” she says.
As I try to figure out what she means, she continues, “Remember our first date?”
“Yeah.” I took her to this place called Rings Rock that you can only get to at low tide. The ocean rolled in and we had our own private island for the day. We ate sandwiches and went swimming, and when we were in the water together she kissed me in a way that pretty much guaranteed I could have whatever I wanted from her. I feel kind of sick thinking about it, now that I know it was part of a dare.
“You went on and on about how pretty and cool I was, about how much you liked me.” The edges of her mouth turn upward.
“Did I? God, what a loser.”
Her smile gets bigger. “Of course I thought you were just trying to get in my pants, which was perfect since it's what I had planned from the start. But then you rejected me.”
“I wouldn't say I
rejected
you. It just didn't feel like the right time, you know?” Mostly I was scared I'd disappoint her or get caught with my trunks down by the Jacobsen brothers.
“Yeah.” She nods. “But then I realized all that stuff you saidâyou really meant it. You liked plain old me. No coke. No craziness. You didn't want to hear about my future plans.
The person I was at Rings Rock was enough for you.”
“More than enough.”
“No one else has ever made me feel like that. Especially not Adam. Maybe it doesn't matter, but I never let him touch me after I was with you.” She pauses. “I'm going to do whatever it takes to make things up to you. I'm already trying to think of ways I can get kicked out of Blue Pointe.”
And even though she's never said it, I finally know for sure how she feels about me. Darla was right about what love is. And there is apparently no end to the stupid stuff Parvati will do for the people she loves.
But do I love her back?
Maybe. I hate seeing her in pain. I want her to be happy.
Is that enough?
I don't know.
Can you ever really know? Trust doesn't come easily to me, and if I stay together with Parvati we'll have to rebuild it almost from scratch. I'm not going to lie, though. There are a lot of things I'd enjoy doing over with her.
I study her expression, trying to memorize what love looks like, just in case things don't work out. Apparently, it looks vulnerable, like a dog that's been hit by a car. Just lying there on the pavement, waiting for you to run into the street and scoop it up in your arms.
I think I would run into the street for her.
I can't help it. I lean in close to brush my lips against her jawbone. She's so warm. She smells so goodâno perfume, no cinnamon. Just softness. “Don't get kicked out. It's only a semester. Besides, I recently came into a little money, so if you're nice, I
might
even come visit you.”
Parvati bites at her lower lip. “Really?” One word. So much hope.
“Let's take it a day at a time and see what happens,” I say.
“Okay.” She reaches out for my hand. “Do you know why I love you, Max Cantrell?”
I let her slip her fingers between mine. “Because your dad hates me?”
“No.”
“Because I recently came into a little money?”
She laughs her tinkly little laugh. “Because you make me want to be better.” Lifting her chin, she stares at me with her dark eyes. Her breath is a whisper against my skin.
I squeeze her hand as I tilt my head low. Our lips brush, just barely, and it feels like something worth saving.
The front door slams. “Eeeew,” Amanda says. “You guys are gross.” Sighing, I turn toward my sister reluctantly. She's holding a cupcake in each hand. “Mom says it's time for cupcakes and to tell Parvati she's invited.”
I arch an eyebrow. “You want to stay?”
“Sure.” Parvati lets me pull her to her feet. She keeps hold
of my hand as we follow my sister inside. “Cupcake time,” she tells Amanda. “My favorite time in the whole world.”
I lean close to her. “Liar,” I whisper in her ear.
“Sometimes,” she admits. “But I'm working on it.”
MUCH LOVE TO MY FAMILY
and friends for being awesome and putting up with my insane schedule and volatile mood swings throughout the writing and revising of this book. I think the end result was worth it. I hope you agree.
Thanks to Jennifer Laughran, Karen Chaplin, the amazing staff at HarperTeen, the YA Valentines, my street team members, and everyone who takes the time to rate or review my books. Your feedbackâthe positive and the criticalâis invaluable to me.
I had a lot of early readers who helped me take this book to the next level: Cathy Castelli, Marcy Beller Paul, Jessica Fonseca, Ken Howe, Antony John, Heather Anastasiu, Tara Kelly, Howard Price, Ben Oris, Stacee Evans, Sarah Reis, and Surbhi Patel. Thanks to all of you for serving as betas or experts. Other people who rock: All of Team Canadaâthere are too many of you to name, but you know who you are. Jessica Spotswood and Elizabeth Richards, for email therapy
and believing in me. Christina Ahn and Jamie Krakover, for being my St. Louis blogger-reader-writer friends forever. Monica Lopez, for always playing WITWI and teaching Parvati and me how to search by image. And of course Nikki Wang, for ALL CAPS, endless support, and general Nikki Wangishness. None of you are ever allowed to change.
And as always, thanks to the readers. There are so many other things you could be doing, so many other books you could pick up instead. Thank you for making it possible for me to live my dreams.
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