Lie to Me (A Touched Trilogy) (23 page)

My room was cold and empty. Even curling up under the covers
didn’t help. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing them to hold in the tears that
wanted so badly to fall. I’d gone to bed angry, furious with Nathan and Trevor.
But in the light of the morning, I just felt alone.

I stayed huddled in bed until a soft knock at my door
propelled me from my cushy haven. Lily called through, but I didn’t answer her.
I knew she wanted to help, but I wasn’t ready for it. At my desk, I sifted
through a piled of papers, searching for something, anything, that would take
my mind off Nathan.

My cell phone was tucked under Lily’s notes that I’d
borrowed and I flipped it over and over in the palm of my hand before pressing
the screen. I stared as it lit up and my fingers twitched. Nathan’s name and
number popped up on the screen. It had been less than twelve hours since I
broke up with him, but I already wanted to hear his voice. I’d never thought
I’d be so weak or needy. My thumb drifted over the send button, but at the last
moment, I scrolled to the next name and kept going until Tonya’s name appeared.

Talking to Nathan right then wouldn’t do any good. I was
still too angry. Tonya was really the one I needed to speak with, but I dreaded
that conversation. What would I say? ‘Sorry your boyfriend punched you’ or
‘sorry I pissed Trevor off so much that he punched you instead of me’ didn’t
seem quite right. ‘Sorry I was right’ sounded even worse.

A knock at my door gave me stalling time, and I gratefully
dropped the cell onto my desk.

“Come in,” I said, swirling my chair around.

“Hey.” Chloe peeked around the door. “Just wanted to see how
you were feeling.”

“Like crap. You may as well come in.” I spun my chair in
circles as she sat on the bed. “Did you know?”

“A bit. I only had glimpses, and they didn’t fit together
too well.”

“But you knew about Tonya and Trevor? And about Nathan and
me?” I tried to sound blasé, but didn’t quite manage.

“Yes.” The word came softly yet still it pierced my chest.

“How could you not have told me?” My feet dropped to the
ground and halted the nauseating spins.

“Phoebe, you know my visions are the future. They can’t be
changed.”

“That’s crap! Not everything you’ve predicted lately has
happened, and you know it.”

“Well, obviously I was right this time. What should I have
done instead? Huh? Told you and ruined the entire night for you, while you
waited for Trevor to pounce? What would the point have been?”

“I don’t know, but Tonya is hurt and you could have done
something to prevent it.” I crossed my arms over my chest and gave her the evil
eye.

“You know what, Phoebe? You blame Nathan and me, and I know
you’re going to dump on Nanna, but what about you? And Trevor? Or even Tonya?”
She mimicked my pose.

“Tonya didn’t ask to be hit!” I snapped back. “I tried to
warn her, but everyone else said I was being silly.”

“I didn’t say she asked for it." She rolled her eyes.
"But she knew what he was like and she stayed with him anyway. Maybe you
should find out why.”

“God, I hate it when you get all smug and self-righteous.”
My lips curled on one side in a sneer.

“That’s not what I’m trying to do, Phoebs.”

“Whatever." I twisted away from her and snatched up a
pair of jeans from the floor. "Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy trying to decide
what clothes to wash.”

She gave me a brief glare and then left. I tried to shove
aside her words about my shifting blame. Blame didn’t matter nearly as much as
Tonya.

Instead of calling, I fumbled through a text, asking Tonya
if she’d like to get some coffee. A minute later, I got my one word answer.
Yes. I grabbed my jacket and headed up stairs, purposely stomping down the hall
and bumping Chloe’s door open. It was childish, but I felt a smidge of
satisfaction that she’d have to get up and close it again.

Driving toward Tonya’s place, my stomach churned the entire
way. The words I wanted to say jumbled in my mind with everything I knew I
probably should say. Fury kept me from forming the proper ones, and it made me
sick to think that when I saw her everything could come out wrong, that I
wouldn’t be able to keep some of it in.

Tonya was sitting on the front steps, arms wrapped around
her legs and chin resting on her knees. When she saw me pull up, she leapt up
and jogged over. The curtains in the living room parted and Mrs. Robinson’s
face appeared. I gave a small wave and she nodded. No friendly greeting though.
She probably knew about how I’d covered for Tonya. Great. No more homemade
cookies for me.

 The passenger door opened and Tonya climbed in, giving me
the small smile her gran withheld.

“Hey,” I said, ignoring the fact that I was being totally
lame. My hands twisted on the steering wheel as she tugged on her seatbelt. It
was hard not to stare at the bruising.

“Hey. Thanks for coming to get me. I don’t think Gran would
have let me leave by myself.” Her eyes rolled with annoyance.

“I take it she knows?”

“Yeah. She was still up when I got home, and flipped when
she saw...” She let the sentence trail off, gesturing to the massive purple and
red bruise along the left side of her jaw. Even with her darker complexion and
multiple layers of make-up, it was impossible to miss. Lily’s quick healing
after it happened had only relieved the immediate pain. “I’m actually surprised
she didn’t ground me.”

An uncomfortable silence settled between us, and I flipped
on the radio. I drove toward the town center instinctively, weaving between
lanes and generally driving like my dad never wanted to know, but before we hit
the parking lot, I reconsidered. There were a lot of people there, people we
knew. People who would wonder and question what had happened to Tonya’s face.
Would she want all of them to see her now?

“Want to hit up the new coffee shop by the park?” I tried to
sound like it was based solely on my desire to go there, not to avoid people.
“Lily said they have the best iced mocha latte.”

“Sure. Gran bought some muffins there the other day and they
were pretty good.” She gritted her teeth, or was that a smile? It was hard to
tell with each of us avoiding looking at the other.

The stilted, unimportant words continued to flow between us,
but neither of us seemed able to stop pretending that everything was back to
normal. The words carried us into the cafe, and then out into the park with our
drinks. It wasn’t until we sat on a wrought iron bench overlooking the small
pond that we gave up on the meaningless blather. We had no more empty words to
keep the meaningless blather going.

The water rippled with the slight breeze, pushing it closer
to shore, lapping against the rocks. Lily and I had once tried to swim there,
but after braving the rocks, we took one look at the brownish-green water with
its real live bugs and headed for the indoor pool instead. Trevor was like that
water, real good to look at from a distance, but up close it was better to just
walk away.

“Say it,” Tonya said after a minute of silence.

“Say what?” I glanced at her. There were so many things I
wanted to say, that I needed to say. But what was she expecting?

“I told you so.” She stared straight ahead and I could see
the glistening of tears in the corner of her eyes.

“That’s not what I wanted to say.”

“Phoebs,” she said, disbelief arching her eyebrows. “It’s
true. You warned me, and I didn’t listen. It’s my own fault.”

A tear trickled down her cheek and I wrapped my arm across
her shoulder, pulling her in for a hug. “It is not your fault, Tonya. Trevor
made a choice to hit you. He’s the one to blame.”

“I know that. I do. But...”

“There are no buts. He did this to you. You didn’t force him
to punch you.” I gave her a squeeze, wanting to push out any idea she had that
she might somehow justify what happened.

“No, but...I guess I just figure... I stayed with him. That
time you saw the bruises on my arm was the first time it happened. He didn’t
really mean to hurt me.”

I pulled away and knelt in front of her, forcing her to look
at me.

“He did mean to, Tonya. That’s what guys like him do. They
convince you that it’ll never happen again. That they didn’t mean to do it, or
that it was somehow your fault. There is absolutely no way you are to blame. At
all.”

Her breath hitched and came out in a sob. “I just thought
that maybe he really wouldn’t do it again. And then you stopped bugging me
about it, and... Everyone seemed to like him, even you.”

 The indignation I had felt the night before resurfaced.
Nathan and Nanna had forced me into giving Trevor a chance, to see him as a
good person and that was why Tonya had kept dating him.

Okay, so maybe they didn’t force me, but if they had just
supported me, even a little, this never would have happened. I should have
listened to my gift, if I hadn’t let them convince me to doubt myself, Tonya
would never have been hurt. They were just as guilty as Trevor.

“And it’s not like he was like that all the time. He was
always so sweet.”

“Not always.”

“No, but he really seemed to love me. I mean he always
wanted to be with me, and take care of me. You saw how nice he could be.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s not an abusive prick,” I pointed
out. “What did Gran say?”

 “She cried at first, and then she got all pissed. I think
if Trevor had been anywhere around she’d have killed him.”

“And?” I asked when she stopped talking. There was no way
Gran would have left it at that.

“No internet for six months, which includes on my iPhone,
iPad, or any other device that could possibly connect me to the world. She
already cut down the data plans to limited texts. And I have to start seeing my
therapist again.” She sighed and gave another eye roll.

“Good.”

“Yeah, well I can handle the therapist. She’s not all that
bad, and she did help with my mommy and daddy issues, but the no internet? How
can I go that long without tweeting? I’ll be completely out of the loop on
everything.”

“Hey, I manage fine,” I said.

She gave a sobbing chuckle. “Yeah, because I’m constantly
filling you in. I may as well commit social suicide if I have to depend on you.
Maybe I’ll make nice with Chloe.” We both laughed at the idea of her
befriending Chloe. “Well, it’s either her or Bianca, and Bianca always posts
the weirdest crap.”

The light laugh felt good, smothering the awkwardness
between us.

“Are you really okay?” I asked, sliding back onto the bench.

“Yeah. I wish things had ended up different, you know, but
I’m glad it’s done.” She shrugged and her lips tilted into a sheepish smile. “I
kept thinking it would never happen again, that each time that was it. I didn’t
even realize how sick I felt every time I was with him, wondering if he was
going to snap, until this morning when I realized it was done. I’m never going
to see him again.”

She noisily sucked at the last of her latte and I let her
words fill me with relief. But even then, there was a niggling feeling in my
stomach that the words were simply that. Words. She wasn’t lying, but she
wasn’t speaking the truth either. It sounded more rehearsed, as if she’d had to
convince herself of their truth.

“What about pressing charges?” I asked. “You know my dad
would help-”

“No!” Her head shook violently. I’d already risked our
friendship too many times to push this issue as well. She ran her hands along
her cheeks, wincing when the pressure reached the bluish-purple flesh. “I just
want to put it behind me.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I offered, but I knew that
wasn’t the greatest idea. I was best known for my verbal vomit and that wasn’t
going to help Tonya. But she needed to know that I was there for her.

 “I’m going to be spilling my guts to the shrink every
Thursday until I’m eighteen, so I think I’ll pass. Besides you already missed
your opportunity to gloat, so starting now, this whole Trevor mess is off
limits.”

Putting Trevor in the past was more than fine. Now I just
had to remember to put Nathan there, too.

Chapter 12

Nathan was behind me. It was where I’d been thinking and
praying, of putting him for the past thirty-odd hours. Him literally sitting
behind me, his soft puffs of breath fanning across my neck, was not how I’d
envisioned it. It was only twenty minutes into class and I’d already had to
fend off his trailing fingers along my shoulder, the whispers of my name, and
even a note he’d eventually slid around me and placed on my desk.

I hadn’t even opened the note. I’d simply ignored it. But
the problem with ignoring it was that ten minutes later it was still sitting in
front of me, tempting me to take a peek. My pencil tapped spastically on my
desk in one hand, while my other hand fiddled with the zipper of my hoodie,
barely containing the urge to reach for the folded paper.

Something flicked against my head and I flinched in
surprise, reaching up to rub the spot hit. A small, pink pencil tip eraser
dropped from my hair onto the floor, and I glanced over my shoulder. Tonya was
staring at me with one of her ‘what’s your problem’ looks, gesturing toward
Nathan.

I hadn’t told her about breaking up with Nathan. It wasn’t
that I was hiding it. I just didn’t know how to tell her without bringing up
the whole Trevor thing and I’d promised not to bring him up again. I shrugged
my shoulder at her, and turned back to Mr. Arnold. He was writing some formula
on the board and I stopped my furious tapping to copy it down. Not that it made
any sense to me at the moment, but it was better than obsessing over Nathan.

When class ended, I was ready to scream. Nathan had seemed
determined to annoy me for the entire hour. I wasn’t sure what purpose he had
in mind, but he was definitely pissing me off. I shoved my notes into my binder
and snapped it shut.