Lies of a Real Housewife (29 page)

The song was hot! Knowing a hit when he heard it, the producer at Patchwerk jumped right on it. He took me straight to Hitt Afta Hitt Entertainment to meet with Johnnie Cabbell. Johnnie heard the song and was digging it. At first, he tried me. It
was to be expected. He asked me if I wanted to sell

my song to Mac Breeze, a local female rapper he managed. She had made

her claim to fame when she was featured on Gucci Mane’s single, ‘Go Head’.

Yes, I did say try me! That song was made for me. No flexing, no

lying, just the honest truth, and you had to have lived that life in order to rap that song. I explained it to Johnnie just like that! Straight up! He told me that he had to go out of town, and wanted to meet with me in two weeks when he

returned.

During those two weeks the song started playing everywhere in At-

lanta, on the radio, in the nightclubs, and in all the strip clubs. People were feeling that song everywhere. Straight up! My brother Lee, my cousins and friends were calling saying they were somewhere, and heard it being played. That was one of the best feelings in the world. Johnnie Cabbell had managed just about every hot rapper in the south from Shawty Lo to Gucci Mane. If you wanted to get in the game and you lived in the city, Johnnie was the man

you needed on your team.

I spoke with Johnnie several times while he was out of town. I

shared my struggle with him. After hearing my story, he told me that the path of crime my life had taken, my struggle, and the force that was driving
me reminded him of Shawty Lo. I talked to him about the book I’d written in prison, ‘Life beyond these walls’, and my plans.

The plan I had was to release ‘Boy Stop’ as a single just to get the at-

tention of the youth, and make a name for myself. Once I accomplished that, I wanted to push the book, right along with launching a national campaign for my nonprofit organization ‘Don’t Ask, Just Tell and Stop the Silence’. I formed this not for profit agency to help worldwide victims of sexual abuse. That was my dream. I thought it was a good idea and so did he. I honestly

beli
eved he saw my vision for helping others.

Spring of 2008, Memorial Day was around the corner, and every-

body I was affiliated with was going to Miami. So I went also. My whole purpose for going was to promote the song. But I hadn’t been anywhere since returning from prison. My children were with my younger cousin, Monique. She agreed to stay over at my house and keep them.

I kept thinking that a little vacation wouldn’t hurt. I called up my

homeboy, Jay at Patchwerk and had five thousand CD’s printed. Me, my partner, Renita, and another one of our home girls rented a vehicle and headed for Miami. We didn’t even have a hotel room. We just made up our mind to

go and left.

Everybody and they mama was in Miami. South Beach was rocking

off the chain. Partie
s were everywhere. Thousands of people, all the rappers, and all of the entertainers were living it up. Jeezy was there, riding around in his blue Lamborghini. I wanted to give him a copy of my CD. I spoke to him, he hollered back. I started to approach him just to give him a copy of my CD. He had a look in his eyes which told me he didn’t want to be bothered, so I turned, and walked away. I wasn’t about to sweat him. I knew him too well

when he was Jay. I wasn’t stuck on the Young Jeezy hype.

Renita got the DJ to play ‘Boy Stop’ while thousands of people were

on the beach. She was a genius. The crowd loved it! Shawty Lo was hot at this time. He was on the beach and he heard it too. It felt so good to look at thousands of people listening to my words. The
y were all jamming to the sound of my voice. About an hour later, in the lobby of the Sagamore Hotel, I saw Shawty Lo and he commended me on the song. He told me that he definitely wanted to do a remix when we got back to Atlanta. I was ecstatic! He told me to call Johnnie Tuesday and make an appointment for the studio.

That was all I needed to hear. It felt like Christmas. I called my

cousins back home, and told them to start celebrating. Everybody was so excited about the news that they just wanted to know when I was coming

back to Atlanta.

“Sunday…!”
I screamed with excitement. From that point on, I

started to enjoy the rest of my vacation.

I had something to look forward to when I got back home. I emailed Phaedra an mp3 copy of my song. Everybody knew it was a hit. Since she had connections with all the record companies, I thought she would at least put it out there for me. But I never heard back from her. I wasn’t about to let that stop me. I was disgruntled a lot by this. I mean it wasn’t like I was asking her for handouts. I was creating opportunities for her to make money as well. I was now really tripping off Phaedra’s ability to distance herself from me. She always pointed out that we were family.

When I made it back to Atlanta, I felt one hund
red pounds lighter,

and I was relieved that something had finally worked out in my favor. This was the closest I had ever come to living my dream. As per my conversation with Shawty Lo, I called Johnnie on Tuesday. He was still out of town, and promised to call me when he ret
urned. I was on pins and needles, anxious and ambitious. I was even counting the money I hadn’t made yet, and about to burst with excitement. Afraid that I would miss his call, I checked my phone every fifteen minutes.

Two days later, Johnnie called to te
ll me that he had just landed at Hartsfield Airport. He offered to pay me for a ride. Johnnie told me that his cars were parked at his home. I understood. I would not want to leave my fancy, high priced car at anyone’s airport either. My stomach was cramping due to my menstruation, it had been cramping all night, but I was only about five minutes away from the airport. I needed the money, and I wanted to discuss the remix anyway. Doing the remix with Shawty Lo had been the only

thing on my mind. I could ba
rely sleep.

Johnnie was already waiting outside when I arrived at Hartsfield

airport. I spoke to him on the phone as I pulled in. By the time he had his seatbelt on, he was already deep in conversation with someone else, and all of his conversation was strictly business. I listened closely while playing it off, as if I wasn’t interested. But I heard the deals he had sealed for Shawty Lo, and I was impressed with his ability to make things happen. He lived about twenty minutes from the airport, right off Moreland Avenue behind Club Blaze.

As I rode with this man who I had no reason not to trust, I never per-

ceived him to be any threat to my well-being. He invited me inside his home. His mother greeted me at the door, and that only made me feel more secure. I felt that I had sealed the deal with Johnnie. Why else would he take a stranger to his home? He escort
ed me upstairs to his living quarters where he had his master bedroom, and a brown plush leather sofa in the far right of the room. I took my seat on his sofa and watched him stretch out across his beautifully

adorned California King bed. Johnnie was dres
sed in Gucci from head to toe.

I sat there about another thirty minutes and listened as he continued

to book shows back to back. His mother yelled upstairs that she was stepping out for a moment. A few minutes later, he hung up his phone, and asked me to give him a massage. I should have known then that something wasn’t right. But like a dummy, I fell into the trap. I began massaging his shoulders. Mind

you, he was fully dressed, and so was I.

The next thing I knew I was thrown down on the bed like yester-

day’s laundry. Johnnie used the upper part of his body to pin me down on the bed, restraining me and preventing any movement. Johnnie was six feet tall and weighed nearly three hundred pounds. I couldn’t believe what was hap-

pening. I was being raped. I cried out to Johnnie, begging him to stop.

“Johnnie what are you doing? I’m on my period! Give me a couple

of days, and I’ll come back!” I pleaded with him, but nothing worked. It was as if he had been possessed by something. His outer appearance changed. I felt absolutely helpless.

Johnnie ripped off my jeans like they were a piece of paper. Then

he stuck his finger inside of me, and yanked out my tampon. I thought for sure after seeing the bloody tampon he would’ve stopped. But he didn’t. He never thought to use a condom. He rammed himself inside of my bloody vagina while ignoring my pleas for him to stop. Biting me and pinning me down seemed to excite him only more. The more I hollered and screamed, the

harder he pushed himself inside me.

I was afraid. I had no clue if my life was going to end that day. I

didn’t know what was going to happen next when he got through handling his business. I couldn’t understand why he was doing this to me. This was Johnnie. He had money, and he could have had any gi
rl in the city. What the

f**k…?

Being molested when you were a young helpless child, and being

raped when you became a grown woman were two totally different things. There were two totally different effects on my mind and body. I was all grown up, I had
paid my dues, and I didn’t have to answer to anyone. I worked or hustled for everything I had. I hadn’t asked anyone for spit. What gave John-

nie the right to take something from me?

When Johnnie got through, to my surprise, he rolled over and fell

right asleep. I sat there for a moment. Astonished! I snapped back rather quickly, and grabbed my jeans. I left him lying there in the bed. I got in my car, and drove to the nearest gas station and called Phaedra. She answered
on the first ring. This was only because I had changed my phone number since the last time we talked. She probably thought I was one of her clients. I was crying hysterically when I told her what happened. Phaedra knew Johnnie, and it sounded as if she was trying her best to comprehend what I had just told

her. I asked,
“Phaedra, what do I do?”