Life Begins (2 page)

              He climbed to his feet and made his way to check on the girls. Behind him, he could feel Josie’s eyes following. At the doorway leading up from the basement, he tilted his head for her to follow. It didn’t take her long to follow his command, making brief excuses to the group before making her way toward him. It amused him to see how she struggled to pretend calmness in his presence, not that she should necessarily feel safe around him, because he wasn’t a nice man.

              “I will go to the store and buy car seats for children. After this, you will allow me to see you home safe,
da
?” He watched as she struggled to come to a response, not that she should have anything else to say to him, but thank you and okay.

              “You don’t have to do that. It’s not the first time I’ve taken public transportation.” She ran her hands over her stomach in a nervous gesture. “I’ll be okay.”

              He leaned closer to her, making sure that she understood that he would not be denied. “What if you are not okay? You have
bebe
to protect.” He knew she got his silent message. She didn’t have a choice in this. “I will return quickly. Let the group know.” He left before she could say another word.

Chapter 2

              She didn’t even know the man’s name and he was now going to the store to buy car seats. She felt almost sick with worry about it. It wasn’t that she worried the man would take advantage of her. Her spirit didn’t give her that sense, but that didn’t mean that he would make her feel safe. No, those dark and brooding eyes of his read trouble. She, for one, planned to obey that silent warning.

              She stood watching after him for a long time before she finally heard her name called behind her. She turned, finding Marisol standing there waiting. “What’s going on,
chica
? Where’s tall dark and handsome. We’re ready to begin.”

              Josie tried to smile as she turned to her friend. “He went to the store, but should be back soon.” He had left his kids after all.

              “Awesome, so then I guess we’ll do other things while we wait for him to come back.”

              Josie said nothing as she returned to her seat. Carl the letch, had moved seats so he could be the one to sit next to her. She wished that he would just stop because she had already made it clear that she wasn’t interested in sharing his bed, the only thing he wanted out of the women in the group. She didn’t care if he had slept with anyone else; she simply knew that she wasn’t interested. Being divorced didn’t make her tainted, and it certainly didn’t mean that she had to put aside her values because some guy wanted to have sex.

              She sat quietly in her seat as the group leader opened the session up in prayer and talked to them about some upcoming activities leadership had planned to help single parents connect with God and one another on a deeper level. Josie thought it would be nice, if she could get the necessary time off work, not that she believed she could take the vacation with the crazy hours management insisted she work. Then, when they mentioned the possibility of leaving behind the children, she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it. A two-year-old and a three-month-old with a babysitter for the weekend? She simply couldn’t do it.

              She began to ignore the announcements after that, feeling more than a little depressed about her situation. Once, she would have said her life had everything. She had a husband, a house, beautiful children, and a car that always ran smoothly. It was nothing for Gary to drop everything to take her on vacation, or on expensive dates where they simply enjoyed each other’s company. She loved when everything had been nice and easy to deal with.

              God, she didn’t want to cry while in group, like a weakling. She just couldn’t do it. She felt an elbow nudge her in her ribs. “We’re getting ready to talk about our weeks,” Carl leaned in to whisper in her ear. “Just thought you wanted to start paying attention.”

              She nodded absently, not that it mattered. Her every week seemed to run the same. The only thing that had changed was her friendly stranger, who seemed to like rescuing her. He managed to return just as Elsa finished giving her usual long winded diatribe about arguing with her ex-husband and her teenage sons. Personally, Josie had no idea how the other woman managed five almost grown young men.

              She watched the stranger walk along the edge of the group, coming to stand right behind what had been his chair and it actually surprised Josie that Carl moved out of the way. She tried to contain her laugh as she didn’t want to draw attention to herself, but it was hard because normally no one could get Carl away from a target once he set his sights on a woman.

              “Josie,” she heard Juan, the group leader call her name, “why don’t you go next. Tell us about your week adjusting.”

              She was careful to look at no one in the room, even though she knew that there was supposed to be no judgment. She shrugged. “It was okay, I guess. I haven’t heard from Gary since everything’s been finalized. I’m getting used to living in a small apartment.” She shrugged again, “I’m alive and my kids aren’t starving. I guess I would call all of that success.”

              “And what about your thoughts? Do you find that there is anything that you struggle with?”

              She shook her head, still not looking at anyone. “I mean, I’m divorced and my ex wants to punish me for having his children. How can I have an easy time?” She never knew what to say in a setting like this. She didn’t like sharing her pain, especially when it ran so deep, but, she also felt like, shouldn’t everyone automatically know that she wasn’t doing well.

              She supposed that Juan must have understood her struggle because he finally moved off her and moved to the next person, which just so happened to be her neighbor. Part of her wanted to tune out of the conversation, but this was the one that planned on giving her a ride so she figured that it was time to pay attention.

              “As our new guest, why don’t you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about yourself.”

              One thing Josie could always appreciate in a man was confidence in himself. This man had it in abundance, as if he were the one leading the group. He sat straight, feet firmly planted on the floor with legs spread, his right thigh brushing against her left one. He sat there with arms crossed, looking so much like a king, she could only imagine what troubles he had in his life.

              “My name is Žarko Knežević. I am from Serbia. I came to the US when my youngest was born. I am thirty-eight, divorced ten years. I have two daughters, Ljiljiana and Desa. They are twelve and eight.”

              Boy that sounded like a mouthful. Josie didn’t understand half of what he said, but it definitely confirmed that he was foreign. And divorced ten years, she wasn’t sure why he even needed their little group. Most people were newly divorced, the most being Marisol, who acted as co-leader of the group. Looking around the room, Josie knew that others were asking the same.

              sat back and relaxed, settling into her own thoughts as group continued, making sure that she remained aware enough to know when the time came to leave. She had no idea how her neighbor planned for them to make their exit, but she needed to feed her baby first, which reminded her that her breasts were growing heavy.

              She nodded to toward Marisol, to let her know what was happening and then, just as a courtesy, let Žarko know where she was going. He probably didn’t care, but she honestly felt better about it. On cue, as she entered the nursery area, her daughter began crying as if she were dying. Josie really loved that sound and she loved it more when she felt her daughters little weight curling into her as she tried to feed from any available surface.

~*~

              This meeting was pointless for someone not newly divorced. In Žarko’s opinion, even the newly divorced would do better than to come to this sort of group. What was there to talk about? You either made due in raising your family or you suffered the consequences of not getting over it. His divorce hadn’t been a problem. He got rid of the lying
pićka
and moved on with his life. Taking care of his daughters was nothing compared to getting rid of the headaches involved with dealing with his ex. Josie would do better to stop worrying about talking to people who didn’t understand her situation.

              He took a quick glance at his watch, wondering how soon he could get out of this place. His girls needed to get to bed soon and he was pretty sure that Josie’s little ones were tired. He didn’t mind being rude, considering he never planned to see any of these people again, but he also knew that she would need to keep these people in her life, for some reason. He took another glance at his watch and decided forget it. No one else had young children.

              He rose to his feet before people had the chance to react. “I’m sorry, but it is getting late and it is time for my children to be in bed for school. I hope you understand.” He didn’t bother telling them that he would take Josie and the
bebe
. They would just have to find out later.

              He strode toward where he left his children, finding both girls playing with the little boy. The woman sat in a rocking chair in the corner of the room, a piece of fabric hiding what he knew to be the breast feeding of her other child.

              “How much longer will it take,” he asked her, ignoring the other adult in the room. Josie seemed to jump a bit, before briefly checking inside her fabric. His girls, knowing what that meant were already collecting their items together and helping the little boy to get ready.

              “Is the meeting finished already?” He didn’t say anything as he moved to get the baby’s winter coat. Behind him, he heard a slight irritated sounding cry before it finally calmed. He turned, finding the reason was that Josie had begun changing a diaper. He was glad now that he’d put the large stroller in the back of his truck. All of this was taking too long to want to fight with that monster. He had the new car seat set on a table, ready for when the little one was finally ready.

              “Why do I feel like I still hear talking?” Josie asked, as she finally made her way to his side to set her pink covered bundle into the seat and began strapping her in.

              “Don’t worry about it.” He collected the carrier and pushed her toward the exit. He couldn’t wait to get back to his home, maybe forget about this whole evening with a bottle of
pivo
. Before he could do that, he had to keep his word on getting his neighbor and her children back home. He guided his girls up the stairs. Behind him, Josie carried her son.

              Getting everyone in the car took little effort. His girls knew to move fast and he had specifically chosen travel seats that were easy to deal with. The carrier clicked immediately, leaving only Josie to get the little boy strapped in properly.  Then, once all of that was completed, he helped her into the passenger’s seat and finally took his place as the driver. Now, he just had to last the twenty-minute drive back to the apartment complex.

              He kept the music low, knowing that his guest wouldn’t understand the lyrics, but that it was something that he and his girls enjoyed because it kept them tied to home. In the corner of his eye, he saw Josie leaned back in the leather seat. He hoped that she took this opportunity to fall asleep, thereby leaving him to his thoughts. But, of course, he would have no such luck.

              “Do you want to tell me why we had to leave early? The leaders usually take turns giving talks and tonight was Marisol’s opportunity to teach on dealing with the emotions of returning to singleness.”

              He felt the beginning of a sneer touching his lips. “You are sad and upset, but that will not feed the children, only working. You cannot expect to rely on another person, only self.”

              “But that doesn’t mean you are dealing with the feelings,” she said quietly, looking at the sleeping children behind her.

              “What is to deal with? Your divorce happened. You must keep moving and not remain stuck. Someone like you would have the option to find another man to marry.”

              The response she gave was a bitter laugh. “Marriage? Why would I ever want to trust another man if I couldn’t trust the one that I’d made my husband?”

              He didn’t trust for a moment that she believed her own words. He took a swift glance at her body hidden beneath layers of clothing. Personally, he wouldn’t mind taking her for a ride. It had been a while and he certainly could benefit from the touch of a woman like her. “You are what age?”

              He saw her nibbling on her lip. “Twenty-eight. I’ll be twenty-nine in a couple of months.”

              He grunted. She was practically a baby and had probably married as one. “Your mind will change. Unless you plan to remain celibate for the rest of your life or you plan to just allow men into your bed.” She didn’t respond, but he had no problem with that.

              He pulled into an empty parking space on the side of the apartment complex. “Do you leave every day at the same time?” he asked. She nodded. “Good.” He exited his side and opened the rear door for Desa. Then, he lifted the infant car seat from its base. Ljiljiana helped by carrying Josie’s diaper bag up the stairs. He liked that Josie didn’t question his decision not to bring her double stroller.

              They stopped at his apartment first, so that he could open the door and allow his girls to start getting ready for bed. Ljljiana passed him the diaper bag on her way in. Then, once he had relocked the door, he walked Josie to her own door, waiting patiently for her to wrangle her toddler into a comfortable place to stick her key in the door. Once she had stepped through, he entered as well, setting her daughter’s carrier on the empty coffee table. Then, he headed back out, wanting to get back to his girls.

              He turned just as he heard steps approaching. Josie had taken the time to remove her own winter wear, leaving him with the image of wide hips and the shadowy curve of clearly large breasts. Žarko really did believe that a beautiful woman like her would find a husband quickly and that this moment in her life would end before she knew it.

              “We will pick you up in the morning,” he told her.

              She jumped slightly. “Are you sure? I was just planning to ask you for the stroller tomorrow.”

              He frowned, but said nothing else. She would learn that he wouldn’t give her much choice once he had decided something. She claimed to have joined her group looking for support, but he highly doubted she knew what she actually looked for. It was a good thing that he knew what she needed and also knew how he would help her achieve it. “Be ready on time,” he said before shutting the door behind him. He would be the first to admit that he had problems in his faith, but the one thing he wasn’t was a fool. If god planned to send this interesting gift his way, Žarko was going to take it. It would just take a lot of energy not to try and possess her, because he didn’t need the problems inherent in having a woman.