Life's Golden Ticket (17 page)

D
rop your pants!” Luisa commanded. She grinned, handed me a sequined shirt and a pair of white tights, and pushed me behind a curtain.

I stood in the dressing area, frozen in terror. What was Henry
thinking?

“Hurry!” Luisa called.

I squeezed into the outfit and looked in the mirror. I looked pathetic—too big and clumsy for the outfit.

The curtain parted, and Antonelli grabbed me by the arm. “C'mon, we're on!”

We trooped out of the performers' area and up the aisle between the bleachers.

I stopped at the end of the aisle, in awe. Every seat in the tent was filled.

Antonelli pulled me toward the center ring. Someone grabbed my arm. It was Henry. “Do what they tell you,” he said, pulling me close. “You want to prove to yourself and to me that you're ready for change? Then do what they tell you.”

I looked at him in horror.

Antonelli pulled me away.

“And have fun!” Henry hooted after us.

A spotlight beam landed on Berto and Luisa, who were in front of us. Then another lit Antonelli and me.

In the middle of the ring, the ringmaster, dressed in white tights, a red overcoat with gold buttons, and a black top hat and cane, crowed with delight. “And here they are, folks, the world-famous Flying Zanzinnis!”

The crowd erupted in wild applause as Berto and Luisa walked up to the ringmaster.

Antonelli walked me over to the base of a tall metal tower just outside the center ring. “Get ready to smile,” he said.

Berto grabbed the ringmaster's microphone. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight you will see us fly!”

The crowd applauded excitedly again.

“We will perform several death-defying acts on the trapeze and high-wire. And just for you, just for tonight, we have a special surprise. Here is my beautiful sister to tell you about it!”

He handed Luisa the mike. “Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have a truly special surprise! Tonight we have chosen a member of the audience to help us kick off the show! This person from the audience, a person just like you, will make his first-ever high-wire walk! Please welcome the newly joined member of our family, our new adopted brother, the
fourth
Zanzinni!”

Luisa pointed to me, and a spotlight beam lit my face once again.

More eager applause.

“Up!” Antonelli commanded.

I looked to the top of the tower. “I can't!”

“No choice now!” he screamed and lifted me up onto the first rung of the tower. He pushed my behind with his palms. “Up!”

I looked at him hesitantly. The crowd picked up on my reluctance and started clapping. “Up! Up! Up!” they chanted.

I climbed up a few rungs on the tower, and the crowd went nuts.

As we climbed higher, Antonelli barked out commands. “When you get to the platform at the top, stand to the side so I can join you. I will teach you to walk the wire. Do not be afraid. I will be holding your hands the entire time. There is a net below. You are totally safe. I will not let you get hurt. Just do as I say, when I say it.”

I
stood on top of a two-foot-square platform more than sixty feet off the ground. There was nothing to hold on to except a half-inch cable that ran from the platform to the top of the tent. My palms were pouring sweat. I looked down; I didn't see any net. My legs were shaking so violently that I thought I might fall off before I ever started. My heart felt as if it were going to jump out of my chest and climb back down.

Antonelli climbed onto the platform and grabbed hold of the same wire I was holding. He stood between me and the ledge of the platform.

“Look at me!” he barked and pointed to his eyes. “Look!”

Panicked, I stared into his eyes.

“Listen to me! Drown out the sound of the crowd. Just look at me. Just listen. This is your moment of truth. You see Luisa on the platform across from us? Just look over my head—you're taller than me. Do you see Luisa?”

A wire ran from the base of the platform we were standing on to another platform about forty feet away, where Luisa stood smiling at me.

My voice trembled. “I see her.”

“Good,” Antonelli said. “Now, I want you to focus on her. Our goal is to reach her.
Your
goal is to reach her. To get there you have to block out all the noise you hear except my voice. You need to block out all the feeling in your body except absolute resolve to reach the other side. Do you understand me so far?”

I nodded hesitantly.

Antonelli smiled. “Okay. You're doing fine. Just keep looking at Luisa. Pretend that if you do not reach her, she will be killed.”

I stared at Luisa and tried to drum up courage. I could see Antonelli in my peripheral vision, bending and reaching for something under the platform. When he stood, he was holding a long white staff that looked like a broomstick, only longer.

“Look at me again,” he said firmly. “Now, listen. Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to walk out on this wire backward. I'm going to be holding this staff parallel to the ground out in front of me. All you're going to do is follow me onto the wire. You're going to be able to balance by holding on to the staff. Get it? Just follow me onto the wire and hold on to the staff. Then I'll walk backward. You walk forward. Get it?”

I shook my head—not because I didn't understand, but because I didn't want to do it.

Antonelli turned and waved toward Luisa, who slowly took a few steps out onto the wire . . . then a few more. Then a few more, until she was about half of the way across. Then she knelt down and held on to the wire with her hands.

“Look,” Antonelli said, “you have to go out.
We
have to go. Luisa can't hang out there by herself for very long. We need to reach her before she can go back to the platform. You hear me? We have to go. All you have to do is put one foot in front of the other. Just look at Luisa over my shoulder as we walk and use the staff I'll be holding out for balance. You don't even have to look down. Just put one foot in front of the other slowly, feeling the wire below your foot before putting your weight on it. Don't look down. Just look at Luisa. Your goal is to reach her. Here we go.”

Antonelli stepped backward onto the wire. The crowd gasped. He raised the staff in front of him parallel to the ground.

“Put both your hands on the staff,” he commanded.

I reached out and grabbed the pole.

Antonelli said, “Great job. You're doing fantastic. Keep your eyes on Luisa. Now, just put one foot out in front of you and onto the wire. Feel the wire below your foot before you put your weight onto it.”

Fear shot through my body. I looked into Antonelli's eyes. “I can't! I can't do it!”

Antonelli looked at me calmly. “You must. This is what it's all about. Don't let Meg be right. To change, you must move forward. This is your chance. The life you want is on the other side of this wire. Just look at Luisa.”

I looked up to Luisa; she smiled and waved me on.

Antonelli said, “You must make it to her. You must take a step. I am going to step backward now and pull the staff toward me. You will have to take a step when I do that, or you will fall. You must take a step. You must take a step now. Here I go.”

Antonelli stepped backward. I let out a scream. The crowd gasped. I felt my foot on the wire. The crowd cheered.

“Don't listen to the crowd,” Antonelli said. “Look to Luisa. Here we go. Another step. Small, bold steps. That's how you change. You must take another step. I'm stepping backward now.”

He stepped backward again, and I felt my hands grasp the staff tighter. The crowd cheered again, louder this time. I felt my other foot on the wire. I had taken the step.

“One more time,” Antonelli said.

“I can't,” I murmured.

“You must. There is no turning back now. You're on the wire. You must take another step. I'm stepping backward now.”

My foot touched down on the wire, and the crowd hooted and hollered.

Antonelli kept taking steps backward, and I kept following. I constantly put more pressure on the staff, relying on it for balance. Somehow, though, he managed to keep his balance and control me as well.

Before I knew it, Antonelli's back was just half a foot from Luisa.

“Now, listen,” he said. “You've done it. You've gotten here all by yourself. Now I'm going to let go of the staff.”

Panic shot through my body. I broke my look from Luisa. “No!” I looked at Antonelli and suddenly lost my balance. I leaned heavily on the left side of the staff and nearly fell off the wire. The crowd shrieked.

“Look at Luisa!” Antonelli's voice boomed.

I looked back at her and found my balance.

“Good,” he continued. “Good. Now just keep looking at her. I'm going to bend down now, and then I'm going to let go of the staff. I want you to hand the staff to her. She needs it for balance now. When you hand it to her, raise your arms out to your sides like an airplane to keep your balance momentarily. Then I will stand and offer you my hands to use as balance. I'm going to bend down now.”

I called out helplessly, “No!”

Antonelli knelt down. “Now I'm going to let go of the staff. When I do, you hand it to Luisa, nice and slowly. Don't break eye contact with her. Are you looking at her?”

“Yes,” I murmured.

“Good, now hand her the staff.”

Luisa reached out her arms. I handed it to her slowly and stood on my own. The crowd went wild.

Luisa turned and walked back toward the platform.

Antonelli stood up and smiled broadly. “Bravo! You did it. Now it's time to strike out on your own.”

He took a step backward.

“No, wait!” I said, suddenly panicked.

“You can do it. Don't take your eyes off Luisa. No matter what. You don't need me now.”

He slowly turned and walked away. The crowd groaned with worry for me.

Tears of helplessness welled in my eyes, and I blinked to push them back.

Antonelli reached the platform and stood with Luisa. They started clapping for me to move. The crowd followed suit.

I stared at Luisa. Her face changed suddenly into Meg's. “Prove it,” she said.

I felt a surge of emotion and took a step forward. My foot didn't land squarely on the wire, and my body bowed to the right. The crowd screamed. I straightened. I took another step. The crowd's clapping and
gasping sounded hollow, distant. Meg looked at me, unimpressed. “Drifter,” she said.

Another step.

Luisa's face morphed back.

Another step.

Again I didn't place the middle of my foot on the wire.

I bowed to the right.

I swung my arms to catch my balance, but I overcorrected.

The crowd shrieked.

I felt my feet above my head.

A split-second before I hit the ground, a net rose to catch me.

T
he net lowered me to the ground, and I felt an incredible sense of relief. The ringmaster ran over to me. The spotlight followed him. He hugged me, then raised my hand triumphantly.

“What do you think, folks? How about a hand for our volunteer!”

Everyone in the crowd stood up and cheered wildly. The ringmaster pointed upward to the Zanzinnis, who were now standing on a platform even higher than the one on which I had stood.

“And now, folks, the Zanzinnis will perform their world-famous, death-defying aerial acrobatics!”

The spotlight moved from the ringmaster and me up to the Zanzinnis. Luisa swung out from the platform on a trapeze bar.

The ringmaster nudged me. “Good work,” he whispered.

“But I fell,” I said.

“Of course you did. You'll do that when you start moving forward to your goals. But you made the attempt. You took bold steps. And you learned that when you fall, it isn't so bad. You started the heroic journey.”

“I was scared to death, though. I just couldn't . . .”

Suddenly someone behind me grabbed my left arm, twisted it behind my back, and started shoving me forward, sending a sharp pain through my shoulder and neck.

“Larry!” the ringmaster cried out with surprise. “What are you doing?!”

“Just startin' a little early, mate,” the person behind me said, revealing a deep Australian accent. I twisted to see a man wearing a safari shirt and a sweat-stained fedora. He forced me toward the left ring, shoving me forward while maintaining an unbreakable grip on my arm.

Stumbling and struggling to break free, I cried out, “Let me go!”

Within seconds, Larry had me in the left ring, standing at the gate of the cage I had seen earlier. He let my arm go and threw me violently to the ground inside the cage.

I spun around and screamed, “What the hell are you doing?!”

“You were acting like a pussy up there,” Larry said sternly, pointing to the high wires. “So I thought you might as well be in here with your own kind.” He motioned toward a small cage adjoining ours. Inside, six lions were feeding on bloody slabs of meat. The lions ripped into the meat as if they hadn't eaten in days, and their heads were covered in red. Between me and the lions were a lot of big, sturdy boxes and wooden balls, all part of an obstacle course that looked something like a jungle gym.

“No!” I screamed, realizing where I was. I jumped to my feet, pushed past Larry, and tried to exit the cage. The gate was locked. The wall of metal bars rose a good twenty-five feet high. There was no escape. I rattled the cage. “This isn't funny! Let me out!”

Henry must have seen the whole thing. He came hobbling up to the cage. “Larry!” he shouted. “No! Not this way! Let him out!”

I turned to find Larry standing in the middle of the cage, taking a whip off of his belt loop. “He can't change, Henry, because he keeps focusing on what he's scared of. He can't keep backing down or running from his fears. It's time for that man to stand up in life, or, for God's sake, at least find something bigger than himself to fight for.”

“No, Larry! I'm telling you . . .” Henry responded, only to be cut off by the ringmaster's voice booming throughout the tent.

“Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to meet the bravest man on earth. A man who has tamed his fear and the
fiercest
animals on the planet. A man who handles more savage, untamed beasts in his shows than anyone else in the world would ever dare! It is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Larry the Lion Tamer!”

The spotlight hit Larry, and the crowd gave him a rousing welcome. He quickly circled the cage, cracking his whip several times in the direction of the lions. When he neared Henry and me, he grabbed my forearm and jerked me toward the center of the ring. “Sorry, Henry,” he said.

Despite my resistance, Larry managed to yank me across the space and pushed me onto a large red box.

“Move and you die,” he said. Then he circled the cage, cracked his whip several times again in the direction of the lions, and jumped onto the green box next to me.

The lion cage door lifted, and six lions bounded out and ran wildly around the cage. Several of them lunged toward us as they circled the ring, each time bringing gasps from the audience, and each time being driven back by the noise of Larry's whip snapping in the air.

“You see that one there?” Larry said, pointing to a massively maned beast circling the cage. “He's the one who did this.” Larry quickly glanced down at his leg, then back to his charges. I followed his look and saw that his calf was terribly scarred. “We call him Mufasa, because he's the king,” Larry said. “He really got a hold of me. Shook me like a rag doll during a show. The poor audience was terrified.”

“The
audience
was terrified?!” I said. “You're crazy, Larry! I don't want any part of this. Let me out,
please.
”

Larry shook his head at me as if disappointed. Then he jumped off the box and cracked his whip toward the lions, sending them scurrying to the left.

“Life's like being in a lion cage, mate. Show fear, back down, or turn away from what's in front of you, and you're dead.”

Larry advanced directly toward the lions, and the crowd moaned with concern. With a few shouts and some more cracks of the whip, though, he managed to get the lions to line up single file and sit on their haunches. He then made them walk across the top of the jungle gym and jump on and off the large wooden balls at a frenzied pace. He even made Mufasa walk up a seesaw centered over a triangular box, then down the other side as it tilted over.

As Mufasa stepped off the seesaw to my left, Larry walked over to me and pushed me off the box into the middle of the ring.

The crowd gasped.

“What are you doing!” I screamed in terror.

The ringmaster's voice filled the tent. “Ladies and gentlemen, our brave volunteer is ready to stand up to another monumental challenge!”

“No!” I screamed.

Larry hopped up onto the red box, threw his whip down in front of me, and said flatly, “Your turn.”

“What!?” I took one look at Mufasa, then locked eyes with Larry. “No way! I don't want to do this, you hear me!?” I turned toward the gate of the cage and saw Henry searching through a ring of keys on the other side. “Henry!” I screamed as I ran toward him, hoping to get the hell out of there.

Just as I reached the gate, Henry looked over my shoulder with fright. “Watch your back!”

I spun around and saw the lions on the other side of the cage eyeing me curiously. Mufasa and two other lions began moving furtively in my direction. They looked up at Larry, then back at me, then took a step, then looked back at Larry, then back at me, then took another step.

“
I don't have the key!
” Henry cried out helplessly, his expression telling me I was done for.

Larry called to me, “You'd better start walking over here.”

I looked at him in terror. “Larry, let me out! I told you, I don't want any part of this . . .”

“You're in it now,” he said sternly. “You'd better start walking over toward me.
Now!
”

My legs trembled; I couldn't find my feet. The image of the lions tearing at the slabs of meat, their heads red with blood, filled my mind.

Mufasa and the other two continued to creep toward me.

“Get over here!” Larry said through his teeth.

The three advancing lions stopped at the sound of Larry's voice. They looked at him cautiously, but Mufasa didn't take his eyes off me and took another step. He was now even with Larry on the red box.

“Mufasa is going to attack you if you don't walk over here
like you belong here,
” Larry warned. “Now
walk!
”

I took a timid step forward; Mufasa stopped and cocked his head.

I took another step.

Mufasa lunged toward me.

“Mufasa,
no!
” Larry screamed.

Mufasa stopped about ten feet in front of me. I stared at him in terror. His mouth was open, and I could see the long, yellowed canines.

“He's going to charge you if you look at him that way!” Larry hollered.

“I don't know what to do!” I shrieked. The high, shrill sound of my voice was unrecognizable to me.

“If he charges, you stand tall and scream ‘
No!
' at him!”

“I can't do this!” I shouted.

Mufasa lunged again.

I dropped to the ground and covered my head.

I felt the lion's whole body run over me. Then a blunt blow to my leg sent me rolling.

Crack!

Larry's whip.
Thank God!

I opened my eyes. Mufasa was standing six feet from me. He roared and flashed his fangs. His eyes were wild.

“Now,
damn you,
you better
stand up!
” Larry shouted at me.

I rose to my feet, whimpering, and backed up into the cage bars. Mufasa didn't take his eyes off me.

“He
will
attack you again if you don't
show your courage.
Take a step into him and scream at him to get back. Scream it with all your soul!” Larry called out.

Larry's voice seemed muffled to me. My heart beat so loudly that I could barely hear him or the crowd. I just looked at Mufasa in terror.

He lunged again. Spinning around, I gripped my head in fright. I felt a blunt swat on my shoulder and went sprawling to the ground in pain. I looked up, and Mufasa was already in the air, about to land on me. I put my hands over my head and felt his legs slam into mine. He swatted my arms and torso with his powerful paws.

Crack!

Mufasa sprang off me.

I looked through my forearms and saw him crouched and ready to attack, about ten feet in front of me.

“STAND UP OR DIE!” Larry screamed at the top of his lungs. “STAND UP!”

I got up to one knee. Suddenly, Mufasa looked to my right and roared. I turned my head. The ringmaster was thrusting Mary into the cage. She saw Mufasa and let out a high-pitched scream that nearly broke my eardrums.

Mufasa roared at her.

“Mary!” I screamed.

She didn't seem to notice me. She just froze and stared at the roaring beast.

“Mary!” I screamed again, and got to my feet.

Mufasa took a step toward her and roared again.

“HE'S GOING TO ATTACK HER!” Larry called out.

“NO!”

I ran between Mary and the lion.

Mufasa roared and lunged.

I raised my arms high in the air and screamed, “MUFASA, GET BACK!”

The lion landed right in front of me. His head actually butted into my legs. I barked again, “GET BACK, GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU BASTARD!”

Mufasa's eyes widened, and he stepped backward and roared at me and at Mary.

I stepped into him and pointed toward the other lions. “
Get back there!
”

Mufasa looked at me and cocked his head.

“
Get back now!
” I said, stepping into him once more.

The lion roared and showed his fangs.

I took another step toward him and screamed with all my might, “GET BACK NOW, YOU SON OF A—”

Suddenly, Mufasa backed up several feet. I charged two more steps toward him, and he turned and trotted back to the other lions.

“That's my boy!” Larry called out.

The crowd came to its feet, roaring louder than the lions.

I looked at Larry and the crowd wildly and felt the blood pumping furiously through my veins. I looked over my shoulder for Mary. . . .

She had disappeared.

I looked back at Larry.

“Something worth fighting for,” he said.