Life's Perfect Plan (The Life Series) (25 page)

“So what I am saying in this crazy analogy is that honey, you are living a great life, and life will have bends on smooth, pot holed, and dirt roads. The only thing important is who is traveling with you on these roads.

“And my darling, you had Grant to travel on your smooth road of life, and then you hit that bend with the pot holes in it and found yourself traveling alone. Then Jacob came along and is trying so hard to join you on your travels with your boys. He loves you
so
much.”

I wipe the tears that are coming down my face. For once my mother gives me an analogy that I like, and do learn from. I know what I need to do.

“Thanks Mom. I know Jacob loves me and the boys. I’ll never run again, and I’m looking forward to our travels on the many roads we will endure.”

My mother gets up and walks over to kiss my forehead. She bends over and kisses Cole’s soft dark brown hair and walks out. I finish feeding Cole, then head downstairs.

That evening during dinner I inform my parents and brother that I am leaving tomorrow afternoon to head home. I tell them that I made an ass out of myself, to which they all laughed and said I do it gracefully. Each adult held a baby in their arms, which left me to clear the table and do the dishes. As I am standing at the sink, I notice a car flying up my parent’s driveway. I ask my parents if they know this person. My dad walks to the window and says that it’s Ella. I go to the door and I open it to the wrath of Ella.
Oh Shit!

She storms past me. “Hey Grace, Evan, and Ethan. Hi, baby boys.” She says as she walks over and kisses each one on the cheek.

“Umm … Ella, what brings you to North Carolina?” I mutter to her as I load the dishwasher.

“Your sorry ass is what brings me. If you don’t mind, Grace, I need a very long word with Elizabeth, outside.”

She gives my mother another kiss and then stomps herself towards me. She grabs my elbow and pulls me out the side door to the porch swing. She has her legs crossed and het foot is shaking a mile a minute. I know she is upset with me.

“Beth, what the hell were you thinking? Jacob is a complete mess. I know that today is a hard day, which is why I came, to remind you of what you have gained in comparison to what you have lost.”

“Ella, you wasted your time and your sky miles. I’m coming home tomorrow. Jacob sent me an email and it clarified and made me realize everything he has said is true. I even liked the analogies my mother gave me during her talks.”

“What did Jacob say to you? He’s a walking zombie, I don’t think he has slept since you have been gone, and he misses his boys terribly. He told me that Grant called him Dada and that night he brought up adoption. Then you went bat shit crazy on him and the next day he realized you were gone.”

“He basically said that Grant was a sperm donor since he never knew I was pregnant. Jacob said that he has been the father since he confirmed my pregnancy. I just never looked at it that way. Grant and I had so many dreams together and we accomplished so many as well. It’s just hard to know that my sons will never know or get a glimpse of the kind of man he was. Although, I know if I could have any other man to be a father for my boys it would be Jacob. Something about him that makes him so remarkable and I know that our boys are so lucky to have him.”

“Beth, you can’t run anymore, you’re a mother now. You can’t pull temper tantrums like this. Stop being so hard headed and open up your heart.”

“Ella, I’m just so scared. What if I love this man with all my heart, then in a few good years he is taken away from me? My heart can’t handle another loss like I experienced with Grant. I just can’t.”

She turns sideways and grabs my hands. “Honey, stop with the “what if” shit. You are wasting time drudging up scenarios that don’t mean shit. You of all people know that life is too damn short and you shouldn’t be wasting it on thinking about something that might happen or not. Grant is your past, Jacob and those boys are your future. Focus on today and tomorrow. You can only go ahead, you’ve already wasted days away because you were scared. Life is scary, life is a battle. It’s a scary uphill battle. So put on your running shoes and run with it.”

“Not you too!” I shout to her. “I swear to God, I hope your Grace-isms aren’t from being around my mother. I get it, and I am going home to my new love and we are going to plan for a happy and full-filled future.”

“That’s my girl!” She exclaims as she pulls me into a hug. We swing in peace on the porch for a while before I am beckoned to feed my babies.

Today is the one year anniversary of Grant’s death. Today is day seven since I haven’t formally spoken with Elizabeth. I sit in my office and I type out an email for her. I know I was wrong and I said some really shitty things to her, but I can’t stand that she throws genetics in my face. I’ve always believed that any man can be a father. But, it takes a real man to be a dad. I don’t care that those boys have none of my genetic make-up. They are a part of Elizabeth and that is all that matters to me. I love those babies, they are my heart and soul.

I’m so thankful that the office is slow today. Ella informed me she needed the rest of the week off. I know why, she is so easy to read. I know she is going to North Carolina to get Elizabeth. Sitting here staring at the screen, I’m struggling for the right words to come out. I just want her and the boys home. I want her in bed, next to me. I miss her smell, her touch, the sound of her voice when she is in pure bliss. I miss the look on her face when she is about to come. I miss every God damn thing about her. I’m going fucking crazy here!

I miss my baby boys. I finally hear the words that melted my heart, and not even a day later they are nowhere in my sight. Finishing up the email and I hear my cell phone vibrating. I reach for it quickly thinking it will be Elizabeth. It’s not, it’s my sister. “Hey Jake, how are you?” She cheerfully chirps into my ears. “I’ve seen better days Liv. What’s up?”

“Not much … Listen Mike is taking the kids to the movies tonight. I was wondering if my baby brother was up for dinner tonight.”

“Liv, I don’t think I will be much company. Wait? Have you talked to Dad?” I hear nothing on her end and I know her, she is trying to find a way to soften the blow between Dad and me. “Liv … you know, don’t you?”

“Jake, Dad is concerned. He says he has never seen you so distraught. He says he can’t fix this and asked if I could help.”

“Liv, I don’t mean to be an ass, but no one can fix this except Elizabeth and me. I’m not a child and I don’t need my father and big sister rescuing me. I’m fine, I just miss my family!”

Pacing my office, I know I am not fine. I’m falling to pieces here … slowly crumbling to the ground and the first thing shattering is my heart.

“Jake, we both got to eat so can we still meet up for dinner?”

“Sure, I’ll swing by after work and pick you up. Be ready by 5:30p.m.”

“Thanks, Jake, and see you later.”

I throw my cell phone on my desk. Running my fingers through my hair and trying to compose myself for my next patient.

My afternoon drags. The days seem to get longer and longer without Elizabeth around. I go home to feed and let the dogs out. Once I am back in the truck and before I leave the driveway I send Elizabeth a text.

I miss you! Please, come home. I love you!

Pulling into Olivia’s driveway I get a pictured text. It’s the boys in a backyard swing giving the camera their big toothless smile. At the bottom, the text reads.

Love you Daddy. Coming home soon
.

Coming home soon … what the hell, how soon? Why is she being so uncommunicative towards me? Did I make things worse sending the email? I need to call Ella, see if she got there and find out how Elizabeth is. I’m not in the mood to sit down with my sister and talk over dinner. I know what I need to do. Olivia is walking out of her door by the time I get to it. I give her a hug and walk her to her side of the truck.

“Can you wait for dinner? There is something I want to do first.”

“Uh, sure I guess. I’m hungry so when we do it, don’t complain that our meal is too expensive.” She laughs at me.

“Liv, you asked me to dinner, so you are buying.” She is just laughing away. “Little brother you are the high paying doctor and I am your wonderful sister so you are treating me.”

We drive in silence for a while as I get onto the expressway and head towards downtown. She looks over to me with her big blue eyes and long wavy chestnut brown hair. She looks just like our mom, with the exception of her brown hair. “Where are we going, Jake?” She quietly asks.

“You, big sis, are going to help me pick out an engagement ring for Elizabeth. I’m not planning to ask her right away, but I want it when the opportunity arises.”

She pats my arm and smiles. “I think this is a great plan, Jake. She will be lucky to marry you. You are pretty amazing!” She says as she winks to me.

We drive to the jewelers and scan the glass cabinets of rings. I have an idea of what I want. I finally find it. It’s beautiful and speaks exactly what she means to me. I have Olivia try it on. I think they might be around the same size, maybe Elizabeth is a little smaller. I go a size smaller just to be safe. Once this ring goes on her finger, it will never come off.

Later on I treat Liv to a huge dinner where I hear all the creative ways to propose to Elizabeth. Little does Olivia know, I am taking her advice. She is a Pinterest freak and I know she has seen a few dozen ways to propose. I take a mental note of what she is describing, so I can give Elizabeth the special proposal she deserves.

Flying home with the boys was hard and I was so relieved to have Ella with me. If she wasn’t there, I think I might have jumped out of the plane.

My boys cried the whole time. Being on the other end of screaming babies I have come to the conclusion that it is so much harder on the parents than the other passengers.

Ella helps me to the SUV once we have landed in Orlando. I give her a hug and thank her for her love and patience with me.

“Beth, he loves you that’s all that matters.”

“I know Ella, and I promise I will make this right.”

The boys finally pass out when we are half way home. I bring in the babies one by one in their car seats. I know Jacob is home because his truck in the driveway, but he doesn’t greet us at the door. Once the last baby is brought into the house, I keep them bundled in their seats. I placed the baby monitor on the coffee table and go in search of Jacob.

I’m halfway up the stairs when I hear the shower. I quickly sneak in the bedroom and strip naked. I will give him one surprise home coming he’ll likely remember. I quietly enter the bathroom. He is under the shower head with his head down, and eyes closed. Seeing the pain in his face hits me in the chest. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I place the monitor on the counter and walk to the glass door of the shower. I open the door and wait for the cool air to hit him.

Feeling the cool air he straightens up and sees me standing there in my birthday suit.

“Elizabeth.” He whispers.

“Hi handsome, is there room for me?” I quietly ask.

“Baby, you don’t have to ask.” He grabs my arm and pulls me into the shower. Once the door is shut, he pulls me into him and holds me tight as if I just might slip from his arms.

“Damn, baby, I missed you so much. Don’t ever leave me again. I don’t think my heart could take it. Where are the boys?”

“You have me forever, I’m not going anywhere. The boys are finally asleep in their car seats. We’ll hear them if they get up.” As I nod my head towards the monitor on the counter.

I pull his neck towards me to bring his soft lips to mine. I kiss him slowly and gently, in between each kiss I beg for forgiveness. “Babe, please forgive me.” Kiss. “I’m so sorry for running.” Kiss. “I love you.” Kiss. He doesn’t say anything he pulls me tighter. His hands are roaming through my wet hair, and his tongue is dancing with my tongue. I hear him moan as I feel his hard length prod my abdomen. I slide my hand up and down his aroused length.