Lily (Song of the River) (48 page)

She held her breath, fearing another boat might catch fire. Shadowy figures scurried around on their decks and doused the flames before they could take hold. Lily breathed a prayer of thankfulness to God for sparing them.

“I know where Jensen is.”

“Is he …?” Lily couldn’t bring herself to complete the question.

“Not if Steenberg was telling the truth. He and the guards should be at the train depot.”

Lily’s head spun. “Steenberg?”

“He was getting even with me as he threatened when I dismissed him.”

Knowing she would need time to absorb all the details about the night, she moved from the circle of her father’s protection. “We need to get you back to Les Fleurs where someone can look at that arm.”

He widened his stance as though he needed extra support. “First we need to find Jen—”

“You get some help for him. I’ll take care of Jensen and the others.” Papa walked away, calling out to one of the other men who huddled close to the empty berth where the
Hattie Belle
had been docked.

She turned her attention back to Blake and realized he was leaning to one side, much like a derelict boat. Lily stepped closer and grabbed the arm he was not favoring. At first he resisted leaning on her, but by the time they crossed the street to the buggy, she felt like she was supporting a mountain.

“I’m … s–sorry.” Blake’s voice was slurred.

Lily let out an impatient sound. “Don’t be silly. You were nearly burned to a crisp. Just a few more steps and I’ll help you get aboard. Then you can rest until we get home.”

He didn’t answer, which frightened her more than his apology. Blake was never at a loss for words. He must be more injured than he’d let on. Once they were both in the buggy, she slapped the reins and backed the buggy away from the somber crowd.

Blake sagged against her as they drove away, and Lily prayed with all her heart that he would recover. She couldn’t imagine a life without his teasing smile and intriguing gaze. Or accept the idea that he might die before he became a Christian.

B
lake was still in bed when someone knocked on the bedroom door. “Come in.”

He expected one of the maids to enter with a cup of coffee and tell him breakfast was waiting for him downstairs. So when Lily entered, a breakfast tray carefully balanced between her hands, his mouth fell open. He grabbed at the bedcover, making sure his limbs were not exposed. He had never felt so vulnerable.

“I trust you are beginning to recover from your ordeal.” She set the tray on a table at the foot of his bed and moved to where he lay.

Blake pushed himself up to a sitting position, keeping the cover tightly around him. He bit back a groan when his head bumped against the headboard. “You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.”

Lily walked to the window on one side of his bed and opened the curtains covering it. Weak light drifted into the room while she moved to the window on the other side of his bed and repeated her actions. “They caught Steenberg and his gang.”

“What about Jean Luc?”

Her eyebrows crinkled in a frown. “He saved yours and Papa’s lives.”

Now it was Blake’s turn to frown. Had Steenberg not told them about Jean Luc’s role in the destruction of their boat?

“Such a heroic act. If he had not taken the boat out into the channel, the whole port would have gone up in flames when the boiler blew. A lot of people would have died if Jean Luc had not been so brave.”

Every word she spoke was like a blow. How could he tell her the truth? And why should he? Blake didn’t want to destroy her faith in the man. It was true that Jean Luc’s actions had benefited the others. And since Jean Luc was dead, no one could bring him to justice for his attempts to harm the
Hattie Belle.
“I still haven’t pieced together how you managed to get to the river.”

She fluffed a pillow that had fallen on the floor. “Papa brought me in the same buggy that I used to get us back here.”

Blake would have nodded, but he didn’t want to aggravate the pounding in his head. “What I don’t understand is how you went from dancing to rescuing me.”

“One of the Champneys’ slaves came in and said there was a boat on fire.” She shrugged. “Nothing would have kept me in the ballroom.”

He should have known that.

“Enough about me.” She dropped the pillow on the bed and picked up the tray, settling it on his lap. “Are you recovered enough to feed yourself, or do you need some help?”

Blake’s eyebrows rose. “Are you offering to be my nursemaid?”

Her blush was one of the things he loved most about Lily. That and her dogged determination. Like him, she had lost everything last night. Some women would have moaned and cried about the fire, but not Lily.

“How is your head?”

“It aches, but not too badly.” He picked up his fork to prove that he was fine. The first taste of the fluffy scrambled eggs was delicious and seemed to light a ferocious hunger. Blake wolfed down the rest of his food and sat back with a sigh of contentment.

Lily reached for the tray. “I believe you are going to be fine.”

Blake wrapped his hand around her wrist. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“What are you talking about?” She wouldn’t meet his gaze, but she didn’t try to pull away, either.

He didn’t want to let her go, not until he understood her better. In all the months they had been together, he had never realized how strong she actually was. But now? “I don’t have the energy to look on the bright side. All I can think about is that everything is gone. All my clothes, my cards, everything I owned was on the
Hattie Belle.
”

She looked at him. Really looked at him. Her lips twitched, her smile appearing and disappearing like a shy child. “God can turn every tragedy into good.”

Blake practically threw her hand away. His head pounded once more. “Is that all you have to say?”

She picked up the tray and moved away. “You asked the question.”

Suddenly Blake knew what he had to do. “I’m leaving.”

The tray dropped to the floor, making him wince and put a hand to his forehead. She looked at him, her face full of pain. “You can’t leave. You’re not well.”

“It may take a day or two, but Camellia fixed me up pretty well last night. Besides, there’s no reason for me to stay here any longer.” He closed his eyes to keep from looking at her. He couldn’t weaken. Couldn’t let Lily’s sweetness change his mind. Blake knew what he had to do.

The soft sound of his door closing made Blake open his eyes. She was gone. Now he realized that the pain in his chest was worse than the pain in his head. Blake sank into the soft, clean bed and groaned. He had to get away before he did something stupid … like kiss her again.

Hopelessness claimed Lily. She knew she should not have expected anything else.

Two days after the destruction of the
Hattie Belle
, when it became obvious Jean Luc had died in the explosion, Monsieur and Madame Champney held a memorial service for their son. Her heart had gone out to the grieving couple. They seemed to have aged a decade. The only thing she could think of that might alleviate some of their pain was to tell them how brave Jean Luc had been, how he had sacrificed himself so no one else would die. They seemed to appreciate her words.

As sad as the service had been, Lily would have recovered from her sorrow. Then Blake announced that he was not going to stay in Natchez, and she fell into despondency, a yawning pit of blackness she couldn’t seem to climb from.

She had said nothing as he recovered his strength, nothing when he bid them good-bye. What could she say? He would never change. He would not turn to God and become the man she could spend the rest of her life with.

The only reason he had stayed in the first place was because he was invested … in the
Hattie Belle.
Nothing else. If she had ever doubted that, Blake had proven it when he walked out of her life.

She sighed and looked out the parlor window. Clouds skittered across the sky. It was a gloomy day, one that matched her mood. Tears filled her eyes. Lily sniffed and tried to keep them at bay. She didn’t want to waste any tears over Blake Matthews. Not when she was sure he’d already forgotten her. The door opened behind her, and she wiped at her eyes, wishing she’d brought a handkerchief.

“‘In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.’” Her father quoted the scripture quietly as he walked across the room.

His words brought back her answer to Blake when he bemoaned the loss of all his worldly goods. How self-righteous she had been when she told him that God turned tragedy into good. Lily had not realized that God would call on her to live her beliefs.

She twisted her lips into a smile and looked toward her father. “Thanks, Papa, for reminding me of His promise. I know it’s true, but I’m finding it so hard to live that way when it feels like my heart has been torn out of my chest.”

A frown appeared on his face. “I know it’s not easy.” He sat beside her on the sofa and patted her hand. “Especially when someone you care about is no longer at your side.”

Determined not to cry, Lily folded her lips into a straight line and nodded. “I didn’t realize how much I cared about Blake until he disappeared.”

“God must have someone really special in mind for you, Water Lily. Someone who will love God with all his heart and love you as Christ loves the Church. It may be hard to believe right now, but you will be so happy with that man.”

“I suppose so.” Lily wished she could believe him. The hole Blake left in her life was an awfully big one to fill. He had challenged her to do her best, dared her to cling to her morals, and supported her when she least expected it.

Papa stood and walked to the window she’d been looking through. Silence gathered around them, deepening her feeling of dread. What was he thinking? Was he about to leave her, too? Lily wasn’t sure she could handle two desertions in one week. “I need to check on Camellia and Jasmine.”

He turned around as she was rising from the sofa. “Have you thought about your future?”

Here it was. Papa was not going to allow her to escape before he told her his plans. Lily shook her head. “Not much.”

“I understand. You’ve suffered a huge blow. It takes time to get over loss and grief. But one of these days you’re going to wake up and realize life is going on whether you like it or not. One of these days your faith is going to rise again to the surface.”

She wondered if he planned to come back and visit his daughters once he returned to life on the river.

“I want you to know I am here for you, Lily.” He walked back to her and put an arm around her waist. “If you want to buy another boat, I’ll gladly captain it for you.”

Touched by his offer, she returned his hug. “Thanks, Papa. I appreciate that. You’re a great captain. It’s a special talent God gifted you with. No matter which boat you guide, the passengers and crew will be in good hands.”

He lifted her chin with a bent finger. “You’ve loved the river almost since you drew your first breath, but if this disaster has taken away your desire, I’ll stay right here in Natchez with you and your sisters. I’m never going to desert you again.”

“You would do that for us?” Her last doubts disappeared in a landslide of emotion. “I love you, Papa.”

They hugged for several healing minutes. When they separated, Lily had to wipe her eyes again. Was she turning into one of those weak women she so despised? The ones who relied on tears to manipulate others?

Her grandmother opened the parlor door and started to enter. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Lily shook her head and smiled. “You’re not interrupting us at all. Papa and I were talking about what we’re going to do.”

Grandmother looked from one of them to the other. “I hope you don’t plan on leaving right away.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Lily stepped forward and took her grandmother’s hands into her own. “It’s going to be a while before I’m ready to purchase another boat.”

“Well, I can’t say that I’m entirely unhappy to hear that. Although it saddens me to see you moping about, I still like having you around. You’ve proven you are capable of taking care of yourself and your sisters. Your aunt and uncle may have suggestions for your future, but you will decide which path to follow.”