Lingering Touch - A Story of Young Love (11 page)

I strode on wobbly legs to the weight room in the basement. My usual fluffy pink towel was waiting for me, waiting for the puddle of sweat that would soon be on my forehead. I stripped down to my bra and underwear and started doing pushups.
One, two, three…

Five hours later I heard the slam of a door upstairs over the pounding music pulsing in my head. I froze where I was, (which was an extremely uncomfortable position by the way,) not even daring to breathe. Sweat poured down my forehead and arms and stomach. Fortunately, I had earphones in, rather than listening to music out loud, but I was still worried that my father might be able to somehow hear me. My heart beat against my chest and my breathing was ragged. I counted the beats while I strained to hear any sound coming from upstairs.

As per usual I heard some crashing and indecipherable cursing, then the heavy thud of footsteps on the stairs. About halfway up an even bigger, unmistakable thud. That was new, I didn't think dad had ever passed out on the stairs before, at least I was pretty sure that was what happened.

My arms and legs were quivering. I dropped the heavy weight and collapsed against my will on the floor, folding in on myself. I hugged my knees and fell to my side, crying softly.

I must have fallen asleep like that, because I woke up a while later feeling achy and stiff from lying in such a cramped position for so long. I stretched my arms and legs like a cat and sat up. My whole body was sore already. Soft moonlight shone in through the filtered window, and I wondered what time it was. My iPod read 2 o'clock in the morning. Slowly, I stood up and touched my toes. I felt like I was on fire. My body ached and each step I took was torture.
But this is a good thing,
I whispered to myself, holding back more tears. I was sure my eyes were already red from crying, they definitely felt like it. Wow, why was I such a little cry baby?

As I had expected, dad was still passed out on the middle of the stairs. That was going to hurt when he woke up, considering the way his neck was craned at an abnormal angle. I briefly considered dragging him to his room, or at least even just moving him around so he wasn't in such an uncomfortable position. Heaven knew he wouldn't wake up. I quickly dismissed the thought, and instead kicked him (but not too hard, of course) as I passed him. He stirred a little and snored, mumbling something about beer and "my little girl".

Whatever. I sniffed in disgust and walked away from him without looking back.

As I was getting ready for bed all I could think was, oh man, I am going to be so sore tomorrow.

Chapter 9 - Welcome Home, Dad

And I was.

My arms and legs creaked loudly in the morning when I woke up, but after a scalding shower I felt much better. Today was going to be a good day. It
had
to be.

I skipped out of the bathroom and picked out a cute outfit,
Rock Revival
jeans and a loose flowery top with a silver cardigan. Moving was torture, but I embraced the pain. My legs looked skinny and the nude heels I wore with them made them look long, too. I sat at my mirror and grimaced at the sight.

I had accepted the fact that I wasn't pretty, but that didn't mean it didn't kill me to look in the mirror everyday and be reminded of it. I blow dried my hair, curling it in slightly at the ends. Then I flat ironed it to perfection, and brushed it until it was shiny and smooth. So my hair actually looked
decent
although it was far from pretty. The color was too bright, like some creepy chucky doll or something. Then there was the issue of my face…

My eyes were too big. The color might have been cool, except on me, they just looked washed out and dirty. They're green, and that with my amber hair made my look like a stupid clown. Thankfully I only had a few freckles that were easily covered with makeup. I applied my
Chanel
makeup, covering up as much as I could.

For a minute all I did was stare at the pale girl in the mirror. She could have been pretty, but her eyes were too far apart. Her nose was too wide. Her lips too thin. Her hair was stringy and thin. She frowned back at me. Her cheeks were a little swollen, which usually happens after I purge. I didn't do it very often, though, so the swelling should go down soon.

Finally I couldn't look in the mirror anymore, because if I did I might start crying and smear my makeup, or I might punch the mirror or something.

Whatever. I turned in my chair and gathered my things, then left without a second glance.

o.O.o.O.o

School was a drag, but luckily it passed quickly and at least it was Friday. The day had finally come that Trevor cancelled our plans to hang out with Casey, not that I really minded. But now that I was home alone, I was bored already. What to do, what to do? I skipped past the fridge, ignoring the ache gnawing at my stomach.

Now was a good a time as any to work out, I supposed. I changed into my yoga pants and a purple sports bra. I was just walking down the stairs when my heart starting pounding erratically. That was strange, I hadn't even started working out yet. It sometimes acted up for no apparent reason, but that was usually during/after a really intense work out. I froze and sank to the floor, clutching my chest. My heart slowed until I could barely hear it, beating only every few seconds. Normally it should be at least a few times a second, but it was a little different lately. I gasped, trying to suck in the air that I so desperately needed.

After the strange feeling passed, I stood abruptly and shook my head. My vision blurred and started blacking out, but then it passed just as fast as it came and I was fine.

Ok. That was weird.

Maybe I shouldn't work out today,
I thought to myself. If that had something to do with what I thought it did, working out would be a
bad
idea. So instead I trudged back up the stairs.

Now what was I going to do?

Lyssa had her new boy toy so I couldn't call her, and I didn't even see Amber at school today, which meant she was probably sick, so I couldn't call her either. Trevor would be with Casey, of course. Which left me alone and bored out of my mind.

I plopped down on the black velvet couch and turned on the T.V., flipping through the channels until I found anything worthy of watching.
The Vampire Diaries
was on, so I clicked it and settled back to watch. My stomach growled at me irately, but I promptly ignored it and let myself be immersed in the enthralling show.

I woke later to the sound of my cell phone ringing. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. I wondered how long I'd slept, but the crick in my neck told me it was long enough.

I checked my phone,
2 missed calls.
Both from Austin. As I was about to call him back, I received a text from him.

Bby, R U doing anythng 2day?

It must have been important if he was calling and texting, so I called him back.

"Hello?" He answered on the first ring.

"Hey, Austin. Sorry, I was asleep. What's up?"

"Hey babe! I just wanted to know if I could see you." Awe, heart melt.

"Of course you can, love. Do you want to come over now?"

"You know I do! But I still don't know where you live," I could hear the frown in his voice.

"Well, meet me at the McDonald's on Main Street in about ten minutes and I'll show you. Ok?"

"Sweet!"

Click.

I stood up and stretched like a cat, arching my back and throwing my head back. Oh my, my head was throbbing like nobody's business. I squeezed my eyes shut and grabbed my head, holding it tightly to try to stop the throbbing. When it didn't stop, I staggered to my feet and stumbled to the kitchen, where we kept all the medicine. The white bottle of painkillers was up front and easy to find, even with black dots clouding my vision. After only a minute of pulling at the bottle, I was able to wrench it open and swallow 2 pills. Almost instantly my vision cleared and the pain in my head dulled.

I sucked in a deep breath and held it for a second, blowing it out in a huff. What was wrong with me? Shaking it off, I walked cautiously to my room and touched up my makeup to see Austin. Then I left to go meet him in town, still wearing my ultra-tight yoga pants and skimpy bra.

Austin was awed by my car, and for good reason. Obviously, it's amazing, especially compared to his beat up '97 Toyota Camry. Honestly that isn't a super bad car, but his was
trashed
. He followed me home and parked on the side of the street. Once inside we went down to the arcade to play some games, but he was so competitive and set on winning that I just let him win every game, and it wasn't fun at all. So we went into the theater to watch a movie. He picked out some lame action movie I had already seen. We cuddled close and started the horrible film.

About halfway through the movie my head started hurting again. It wasn't hurting this time as much as just kind of blanking out. It was probably nothing, I was just tired again. I was really sleepy for some reason. I snuggled closer to Austin and he grinned at me, turning to face me fully on the couch. He had been being quiet during the movie, completely engrossed in it. But once I got his attention he was all mine. His hands found my hips and pulled me on top of him so I was straddling him. They roamed over to my bare stomach and rubbed soothing circles on it while I kissed him. After that amazing kiss with Trevor, I couldn't see why I had thought Austin was the best kisser.

But no, I wouldn't think about Trevor. I was making out with my boyfriend for heaven's sake, what was I thinking?

Austin pulled me close and trailed kisses on my cheek to my jaw and down my neck. Then he reached my chest and kept going lower to my stomach. By now I was laying on the couch and he was hovering above me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him back up to my face so I could kiss him some more. My head was pounding and I just wanted to distract myself from it, so I kissed him harder.

I didn't put as much effort into the kiss as I did… previously. I sat back and let him do all the work, enjoying the ride. Austin came up for breath and a soft moan escaped his lips. He stopped and stared at me, and I mean
stared.
His gaze met my eyes unflinchingly and his eyes pierced my freaking soul. I froze, stunned at the sudden intensity.

"I think, I think I love you, Ariana." He said.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Did he just say what I think he said? That could not be true. Austin Skye just told me he thinks he loves me. Were my ears deceiving me?

"Wha- what?" I fumbled, my eyebrows coming together in confusion.

"Ariana, I think that I love you. I really do. You are… amazing." His eyes were so sincere. He looked at me like I was some kind of angel or something. Obviously I was far from amazing, but if that was how he saw me, was I going to complain? Heck to the no. But still, he didn't love me. I knew it. There was no such thing as love. Infatuation maybe. Like maybe. Maybe even like very much, but not love. It simply didn't exist.

I bit my lip and looked down, not knowing quite what to say. Do I deny it? Was I supposed to say it back? No, I wasn't sure what proper protocol in this kind of situation was, but I wasn't going to lie to him. Because I didn't love him. If love wasn't even a real thing, how could I love him?

A huge silence filled the air, suffocating me. Finally Austin tilted my chin up so I was looking at him. "Hey, you don't have to say it back. I just had to get that out there." He smiled encouragingly and I smiled back at him. I never noticed he had a cute little dimple when he smiled like that.

He hugged me tight, breathing into my hair. Then, as if there hadn't been an interruption at all, he started kissing my neck again. We got right back to where we were, and I could almost pretend like it never even happened. But he was being so much more intense now. We kept making out for a while, then he started tugging at my pants. And for some crazy reason, I started pulling off his shirt. Don't ask me why I did it, I just did.

Soon we were down to nothing but our underwear, and things were getting a little crazy to say the least. Oh man, were we seriously going to do it? I started freaking out at the traitorous thought, and I being, well me, started kissing him even harder. Because I was freaking out about going all the way. Yeah, I'm weird, I know.

Ok, let me give you a little background. I, Ariana Luke, have never had sex. There, I said it. I'm a virgin, get over it. The only people who actually know that are Lyssa, Amber and myself, of course. They've both done it, but it's more of a big deal to me. I can't just do that, 1) because honestly, I think it's just kinda wrong unless you're married, 2) because every guy I've gotten serious with has turned out to be a jerk or an idiot, and I wouldn't want my first to be with a jerk or an idiot, and 3) because I don't think I'm pretty enough. Why that even relates, I don't know. I just know that I am not very pretty or skinny or
whatever
so that means I can't have sex. The end.

But seeing as how Austin and I were going at it, this may very well indeed be my first time. Of course, none of my past boyfriends have told me they loved me like he did, so maybe tonight would be full of surprises?

And oh, how right I was.

Just as we were getting to the point where we basically had to either do it (and on a couch no less,
very romantic…
) or stop, none other than my dad stomped in the room. Flushed from being drunk and probably other stuff I don't care to know about. He looked absolutely pissed when he saw the two of us tangled on the couch together. A huge growl ripped from his lips and he launched himself at us, tearing us apart. Austin screamed. I mean, he let out a
scream
… like little girl at a haunted house scream. In any other situation, I probably would have laughed at how pathetic it sounded. However, being in the current situation I was in, laughing wasn't exactly on my agenda. My father practically threw Austin off of my and hurled him toward the wall, where he hit with a thud and slumped to the floor. Was he passed out?