Literary Love (Lazy Love Book 2) (11 page)

“I’m glad you told me. It helps me understand you better.” May leaned her head against his shoulder. “We have to be at Aunt Sally’s at seven.”

“Let’s go get something to eat before we go then. How do you feel today?”

May shrugged. She’d been having problems with vomiting due to the baby. “I’m mostly okay today. I threw up when I first woke up, but I’ve got some crackers and water in me now.”

“Good.” He stood up, holding a hand down to help her to her feet, glancing at her pajamas. “Queen of Everything again, huh?”

She nodded. “Deal with it.”

“Only if I can be King Bob.”

“Not happening.”

*****

Two hours later, Bob pulled up in front of her Aunt Sally’s house. “It’s not too late. We can turn around and go right back home.”

May shook her head. “No we can’t. I need to hear what he has to say. I need to understand.”

“You know you may never understand.”

“I do.”

Bob kissed her quickly. “Then we’ll do this together.”

May took a couple of deep breaths and opened her car door, walking up to the house with him. She knocked twice, not knowing if her father was already there, or if he was due to arrive.

Aunt Sally opened the door and hugged May close. “He’ll be here any minute.”

Bob was more agitated by that point than May was. He paced back and forth, watching out the front window. The house was tiny. Barely room for two people, but somehow her aunt had made it work. Against all odds, May was a good person, and he was thankful for that.

When a knock sounded at the door, Bob was the one who answered it. “Mr. Newman?”

The man nodded. “I’m Sam Newman. Who are you?”

“Bob Bodefeld. May’s husband.” Bob opened the door wide to let the other man inside, ready to drag May out of there if he needed to.

“I didn’t know she’d married.”

“Seems to me you know nothing about her.” Bob had been a bit worried that her father had heard she’d married a man of means and was there to try to extort money. He’d seemed genuinely confused by Bob’s presence, though, so he dismissed that idea.

Sam looked around the room, his eyes finally finding his daughter. “May?”

May nodded, determined to hold back the tears that were already trying to fall. She didn’t want him to know how badly his desertion had hurt her. “Yes.”

“We need to talk.”

She shrugged. “I don’t see that there’s much to say. You walked out. I was raised by Aunt Sally. Enough said.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t walk out.”

“Oh, really? Then where did you go?”

He sighed. “I know you’re not going to understand this, because you’ve always been so much stronger than me, but I couldn’t deal with it when your mother became ill. I loved her so much, and seeing her like that, made me incapable of going on.”

She folded her arms over her chest, glad when Bob came to stand behind her, his arm automatically going around her. “I knew that at the time. That’s why I was the one cleaning up after her. Taking care of her. When I was
ten
.”

He closed his eyes for a moment. “And then after she died, all I wanted was to die as well. I started seeing a psychiatrist, but he told me that grieving was normal when you lost someone you loved.”

“You weren’t grieving. You never seemed to acknowledge what had happened.” She and her aunt had worked together to plan the funeral. Everything had been them. Her dad hadn’t even gone.

“I know. I sold everything, remember?”

She nodded. “I do remember.”

“That day I didn’t come home, it was because I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to my psychiatrist’s office, and I told him I couldn’t go on. That I was done. I had a gun, but he knocked it out of my hand. I don’t think he realized before that day just how far gone I was.” Her father rubbed his hands on his pants, his face pale. “He put me in a locked ward that day. I tried to call, but you never answered.”

“I got home to an empty apartment. What was I supposed to do? Wait to see if you decided to come home?”

“I don’t know. I knew that I couldn’t take care of you. I couldn’t even take care of myself!” He shook his head. “I didn’t have your aunt’s phone number in the hospital. By the time I got out, six months later, you were long gone. I was sure your life was better without me, so I didn’t call.” He held his hands out to her palm up. “I should have. I should have made the effort, but I was still not in any position to take care of you.”

“That was over twenty years ago. There was not a single opportunity during that time when you could make sure I was all right?”

“I did make sure you were all right. I got the Wiggieville paper, and I watched to see your name listed for honor roll. I was there when you graduated. I sat in the corner at the back, praying you wouldn’t see me, but I had to see you give your valedictory speech.”

“So you could pat yourself on the back about how bright I was?”

“No, because I wanted to pat you on the back, but I couldn’t. Even then, eight years later, I wasn’t strong enough. I watched as you went off to school, and I drove to your campus more times than I could count. I’d sit outside the English building, because I knew you’d be taking creative writing classes. Sally tells me you’re a writer, just like you always dreamed.”

She nodded once. “I am. I’ve made a name for myself. I’ve worked hard every day of my life, but none of it was due to you. I did it to make my mother proud. To make my aunt, who’d given up her whole life to raise me, know she did something good. None of it was for you.” The tears were flowing then, and she couldn’t stop them. She hated them, but she didn’t bother to brush them away. “I got married a couple of months ago, and you weren’t there. Do you have any idea how many important things in my life you missed? I understand you were depressed. I do. I’ve been depressed myself, but for you to never contact me? That’s unforgivable.”

“Yes, it is. I don’t deny it. I wish I’d had the courage to face you, but I didn’t. I don’t think you have any idea how much like your mother you are. How much like your aunt. You’ve always been so strong, so capable. And I’ve always been weak.”

“Yes, you have. Did you know that I’m carrying a baby right now? You’re going to have a grandchild. Do you think you’re capable of sticking around for that? Or are you going to tell me that it’s too much and you might break under the pressure?”

He rubbed both hands over his face, and she really looked at him for the first time. His hair was white, where it had been blond all those years before. His face was lined. “I want as much a part of your life as you’re willing to let me have. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve anything from you. But I never forgot you, and I never stopped loving you. Those things are true.”

May closed her eyes, forcing herself to breathe as the tears continued to fall. She couldn’t turn her back on him, so she said the words she knew he needed to hear, and the ones she needed to say. “I forgive you. I don’t trust you, but I forgive you. We’ll have to start over, because I know nothing about you. You’re a stranger to me.”

“I’m willing to start over with you, May. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make you love me again.”

She shook her head, putting her hand over her mouth. “Don’t you see that I never stopped loving you? That’s what made it so hard. That first year, I just knew you’d come by or call or something. But the more days that went by, the more I realized you weren’t there for me, and you never would be. Maybe I should thank you, because you made me strong, but right now, I find that’s beyond my ability.”

He took a step toward her as if to hug her, but she couldn’t. Not yet. She held up a hand to stop him. “I’m not ready for that. I’m willing to give you my number and talk to you on occasion. I—I need time to process. To get used to the idea.”

He nodded. “You’ll let me know about the baby?”

“If you call. If you make the effort for a relationship.” She walked to her aunt’s kitchen, taking the pen and paper from the counter where it had been since she’d moved into the small house twenty years earlier. She wrote her name and her phone number. “I won’t hold my breath.”

“I understand. Trust comes slowly.”

“It does. But we’ll try. I can’t promise more than that.”

He put the paper in his pocket and left quietly. May turned to her aunt and hugged her tightly. “Thank you again for being my everything.”

Aunt Sally held her close. “Of course. I hope you realize that you are my everything too.”

May continued to sniffle. “This baby is going to have an awesome grandmother in you.”

Bob waited until they were in the car before he took May’s hand, squeezing it in his. “Are you all right?”

“I think so,” she said, tears still coursing down her cheeks. “We’ll go home, and I’ll have a good cry, and I’ll feel better. Maybe I’ll kill him in a book or something.”

Bob let out a bark of surprised laughter. “You’d kill him in a book?”

“Oh yeah, that’s my answer for everything. Wanna hear how I killed Tiffani?”

Epilogue

May sat in the glider rocker they’d purchased for the baby’s room, rocking back and forth. The crib was still empty, and she was waddling like a duck. Bob had made the mistake of calling her a Weeble a few days before, and she’d pretended to be angry for as long as she could keep up the masquerade.

She was carrying a little girl, like she’d told Bob from the beginning, and he’d grumbled because Jesse had a boy first, but when she’d pointed out that they could set up an arranged marriage, he’d settled down quickly.

Her father had been true to his word, calling her once per week and checking on her. Bob had agreed to call when she went into labor, so he would know the baby was coming.

Her feelings were still mixed about the man, but Bob had been her strength through it all. He’d never wavered.

The door opened, and he stepped into the nursery. “I couldn’t find you.”

She smiled, pointing at the wall. “I got some of the decorations today, and I put them up and never left.”

He put his hand on her shoulder, looking over at the wall. The room looked like all of the characters from
Sesame Street
had converged, blending into a hodgepodge that looked more than a little wacky.

“It’s beautiful,” he said, looking down at her.

“You’re supposed to look at the wall, silly man.”

“Can I help it if I only have eyes for you? Have I told you yet today how very much I love you?”

She smiled. “Well, no, but I was sleeping when you left.” She’d had to slow down, not being able to punish her body as much as usual through her pregnancy.

He took her hand and helped her to her feet, drawing her close. “I love you.”

She buried her face against his shoulder, feeling contentment like she’d never dreamed possible. “I love you too. I’m glad you came into my life and turned it upside down.”

“What else was a man to do? A beautiful, loving, giving Team Bob member got into a seat on a plane next to me and stole my heart. How was a Bob to resist?”

She sighed. “You made me your queen.”

“And now I’m King Bob.”

She shook her head. “You’re still just the court jester…”

Do you enjoy contemporary Western romance? If so, consider joining
Contemporary Western Hearts
. A Facebook group for authors and readers with similar interests!

To sign up for Kirsten Osbourne’s mailing list and receive notice of new titles as they are available, click
here.