Little Black Break (Little Black Book #2) (19 page)

“Fine. I’ll be right back,” she told Ricky and then walked right past me and through the doors.

She didn’t wait for me and I was entirely aware of the fact that she’d made sure she didn’t touch me.

I made my way toward the office she already occupied. She picked up a packet of papers off the desk and turned, stopping short when I filled the doorway. A look of uncertainty collected around her eyes and I wondered what it meant.

“You didn’t have to follow me. I would have brought them to you.”

With my foot, I reached behind me and shut the door. The sound was loud inside the room, and Rosslyn swallowed hard.

“I don’t think the entire restaurant should be privy to our personal affairs, do you?”

Her entire body stiffened at my words. “You and I no longer have
personal
affairs
, Mr. Black. This is business and nothing more.”

Hearing her call me Mr. Black without the usual sensual, teasing tone was like nails on a chalkboard.

“Stop calling me that, Rosslyn.”

“No,” she said without hesitation. “Here.” She shoved the papers in my directions. “They’re completely legit as you know since you had your lawyer draw them up. This is your copy. If you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to the kitchen.”

She tried to sidestep me, but I made that physically impossible.

“What are you doing here, Rosslyn?”

“I told you … working.”

“Why?”

She wouldn’t look me in the eye, and it was pissing me off. I wanted to see those mossy eyes all over me. I wanted it more than my next breath.

“Because you made me quit my job before dumping me, and now that they’ve replaced me, I decided I’d work here. What do you care? You have your club. You don’t care about this place.”

“You’re wrong, Rosslyn.” I made sure she caught the deeper meaning of my words.

“Whatever you say, Mr. Black.”

In a quick series of motions between my body and hers, I had her pinned against the office door.

“I told you to stop calling me that.”

“You never minded it before,” she spat.

“That’s because I was usually fucking your brains out.”

“Yeah, well, you know how it feels then.” She tilted her head in my direction, but she still wasn’t looking at me.

“How what feels?”

“You called me Jessica.”

She said it like it was an insult.

It wasn’t.

Not even close.

“You’ve always loved it when I called you Jessica.”

“Like you said, that’s because you were usually fucking my brains out.”

Fuck!

All I could think about was fucking her now.

Over the desk.

On the floor.

Wherever I could get her.

I wanted her.

Finally, she looked at me. She stared at me for the longest time, and I hated how lost she looked. I understood that look because I felt lost as hell, too.

“What are you doing, Sebastian?” Hearing her say my name was bittersweet.

I didn’t have an answer for her. I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I shouldn’t have been talking to her. I shouldn’t be looking at her like I was seconds away from taking her in my arms and losing myself in the sweetness of her mouth. I needed to stay away, but it was so fucking hard.
I
was so fucking hard.

I was supposed to be keeping my distance. I needed her to think we were over, and I needed whoever was keeping close tabs on us to think the same. That wasn’t going to work if I was trapping her in rooms and holding her close enough to feel the softness of her breasts against my chest every time she drew in a breath.

With every ounce of willpower I owned, I took a step back and released us both from the temptation. I couldn’t keep doing this to her every time we were in a room together. I was only going to confuse her, and that wouldn’t help keep her distance from me.

“I’m sorry.” The words burned across my tongue with so much meaning.

I was sorry I couldn’t touch her. I was sorry I had touched her. I was sorry I couldn’t protect her. I was sorry for every fucking thing.

“For what?”

I was sorry for every fucking thing, but I couldn’t tell her that.

“I think it’s good that you’re here. This place needs you.”

I need you.

Her expression softened, and her green eyes moved over my face. I loved it when she looked at me, but if she were really looking, she’d see how fucking miserable I was.

“And what about you? Doesn’t this place need you, too, Sebastian?”

Her eyes searched mine, and I could see the words she didn’t say.

“No,” I told her firmly. “I have the club, and that’s all I need. This place was just something to pass the time.”

The hurt in her eyes was like a thousand knives to my gut. I wanted to take her in my arms, to comfort and take away all the pain I was causing her, but I couldn’t and that killed me.

“Good-bye, Sebastian.”

She was out the door before I could respond, and I didn’t try to stop her. No matter what I wanted, it had to be this way.

HUMMING TO MYSELF, I TWISTED my hair in my towel and rested it on top of my head. A hot shower was exactly what I needed after a night running around the kitchen at Jessica’s. I came home with my clothes smelling like everything on the menu, and my skin felt greasy and grimy.

My lower back ached from being on my feet all night, and I had to turn in my heels for a more comfortable pair of shoes, but other than a few aches and dizzy spells, I was doing all right. I managed by nibbling on a few things throughout the night. I found that when I ate small bits often, the dizziness wasn’t so bad.

I’d been at Jessica’s every night since opening night, and thankfully, I’d only run into Sebastian once. I was saddened by that fact but also a tiny bit relieved. Every time we were around each other, he broke my heart all over again. I wasn’t sure how much heart I had left before it was dust.

Dressed in only a tank top, no bra, and a thin pair of Sebastian’s boxers, I left my bedroom and collided with a hot wall of muscle. My entire body went stiff as a pair of large hands captured my shoulders and stopped me from falling back on my ass.

Sebastian?

My palms moved over the massive wall of heat and my heart thumped furiously in my chest as reality came rushing over me. This body was unfamiliar. The only man who would be in my condo was Sebastian, and this definitely wasn’t him. Pulling away, abruptly, my back smacked into the wall and I screamed.

“Relax, Rosslyn, it’s only me,” Mac said.

Clutching my chest, I took a deep breath. “You scared the shit out of me, Mac!” I moved away from the wall and steadied myself.

I was angry that he’d intruded and scared me, but more than anything, I was angry he wasn’t Sebastian. For a brief few seconds, I’d thought maybe it was him, and if I had to be honest with myself, I felt happy about it.

I didn’t know why I wanted to see him. With the way he’d been acting lately, I couldn’t help but hate him. He’d broke my heart and tore my secure world right from under me. I wanted to scratch his eyes out.

I sighed and chewed my bottom lip.

I was lying to myself.

None of that was true.

I loved Sebastian. I missed him so much I was making myself sick. Just seeing him at the restaurant made my heart break a little more. I needed to cut all ties with Sebastian, but that was easier said than done.

I ached so much to see him—to hear his voice. I wanted him to take me in his arms and tell me he would never leave me again. I wanted him to tell me he’d made the biggest mistake of his life by pushing me away.

I pressed my fingertips to my aching forehead and squeezed my eyes closed.

I was being pathetic. I hated myself for being so weak.

Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. Maybe I’d just hit rock bottom altogether. I wasn’t sure if it was possible to sink any lower, but I had a feeling I could and would for Sebastian.

“What are you doing here, Mac?” I asked, suddenly aware that I was half-naked.

I crossed my arms across my braless breasts and stepped behind the kitchen island to hide the rest of me.

Mac’s large frame filled the space and I had no choice but to move back or be trampled when he moved around the island and checked inside my bedroom. He turned from side to side, his eyes sweeping every inch of the room.

“What are you searching for?” I adjusted my folded arms over my chest.

Did he honestly think I had someone hidden away in the closets?

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes landing briefly on me for the first time.

For some reason, his question sent a little jolt down my spine.

“Yes, I’m fine. Why?”

I looked around the room, too.

What was I missing?

“Nothing.” Again, he focused on me and his body relaxed a little. “Black would like to see you at the club.”

My anger spiked, and suddenly, all I could see was red. My hormones these days were off the charts, and I didn’t seem to handle things in degrees anymore. It was all or nothing. One minute, I was sad, and the next, I was livid. And I was getting really sick and tired of Sebastian thinking he could just call on me and I’d jump for him.

“He sent you over here to tell me he wants to see me? Why the hell didn’t he just come himself?”

I’d never understand Sebastian’s logic. The man was all over the place.

“He had some important business to attend to.”

“Is that so?” I lifted my chin ready for a fight. “Then you can just tell your boss I said to kiss my ass. If he thinks he can just snap his fingers and I’ll just do whatever he says, then he’s sadly mistaken.”

“You can tell him all of that when I take you to his office.”

I laughed sarcastically. “So you have no problem being Sebastian’s messenger boy, but not mine.”

“That’s what I get paid to do.”

“Why does he want to see me?”

“He didn’t tell me why. You know that.”

I should have told them both to go to hell and kicked him out, but the tiny part of me that held on to hope wouldn’t allow it.

“Tell Sebastian the next time he wants to see me, he can come and tell me himself.” I bumped into Mac as I passed him on my way to my bedroom to get dressed. “I’ll be ready in ten minutes,” I said, slamming the door behind me.

I didn’t give him a chance to respond. I didn’t need a response. This would be the last time I went when Sebastian beckoned. No more. I was beyond done.

I eyed my bed, and my body longed for me to crawl between the covers. My little spat with Mac had left me feeling exhausted, and I was ready for bed. Leave it to Sebastian to call someone to a meeting on his terms at a time that was good for him, which of course would be at night when he was more awake than ever.

I felt guilty as I dressed. I shouldn’t have been so mean to Mac. He was only doing his job, but the way I saw it, he was on Sebastian’s side. I’d always gotten along with Mac. During his time working for Sebastian, he’d always treated me like a little sister. And when Sebastian wasn’t around, Mac’s softer side always came out around me.

But Sebastian had drawn the line in the sand, and Mac wasn’t on my side. That made him public enemy number two, which meant I couldn’t let my guilt get the best of me. Even if I had to pretend he was a bad guy.

Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, I ran my hands over my bare stomach. My eyes scanned my pale, makeup-free skin, and I shook my head at the image. I looked terrible. The baby was taking his or her toll on me physically and mentally.

Turning to the side, I tilted my head to study my profile. The changes my body was going through were more on the inside than the outside at this point. I knew I wasn’t showing yet, but the bloat was strong and that made my jeans fit a little bit snug. I’d seen Sebastian a few times since finding out I was pregnant, and both times, I’d held my breath in anticipation to see if he’d notice, but each time, he’d said nothing.

I wasn’t sure what I’d expected him to notice, but I was left disappointed each time when he didn’t take one look at me and just know. Tears slipped from my eyes and down my cheeks. I was a mess of tears all the time. Everything made me cry, and I hoped this stage of pregnancy wouldn’t last long.

Wiping away the streaks of tears, I moved to the closet to distract myself. I knew if I lingered too much longer, I was going to talk myself out of going. Not to mention, I was sick to death of crying. I didn’t want to come out of my room with swollen eyes, and I definitely didn’t want to answer to Mac’s suspicions if I looked like I’d been crying.

I debated on what to wear. The thought of showing up like a hobo sounded appealing. I knew it would get a reaction from Sebastian if I did, but then the thought of getting a different rise out of him had me picking something a little more fitting and revealing.

I dressed and pinched my cheeks for color before I opened the door.

“Ready?” Mac asked.

I nodded and grabbed my purse from the kitchen counter.

I hadn’t expected to fall asleep in the back of the car on the way to Clive’s, but as soon as the car began to sway back and forth, I was fast asleep. I woke abruptly when Mac slammed on his brakes at a red light.

Sitting up, I pulled myself together. These days, I could sleep anywhere at any time, but I needed to wake up and be ready. I needed to be on top of my game when I was around Sebastian. I had no idea what he wanted to see me about, but the possibilities had my stomach in knots.

I tried not to let my mind wander too much because if I did, I’d send myself into one of my useless little panic attacks. But once we pulled up to the curb and Mac was opening the door for me, my nerves kicked up and I found myself having trouble breathing. The dizziness that I’d fought so much over the last few weeks was turning it up a notch, and I had to grab the car door before I fell flat on my face.

“You okay?”

I nodded and pushed away from the car and toward the entrance of Clive’s. I turned around before entering, but Mac was already driving off.

Pulling open the heavy door, the music from inside slammed into my chest and sent another wave of dizziness rolling over me. Tiffany, the hostess, greeted me with a sad smile.

“It’s good to see you, Rosslyn.”

“Thank you. You too,” I added. “Is he up in his office?”

“Actually, no. We have some high rollers here tonight, so he’s in the VIP section. He said to send you back when you got here.”

I frowned. “He wants to see me in the VIP section?”

“Yes.” She gave me another sad smile.  “Do you want me to walk back with you?”

“No,” I said quickly. I didn’t need her to hold my hand while giving me sympathetic looks. “Thanks.”

The club was crowded and squeezing my way through the sea of people was tiring. The mix of perfume, cologne, body sweat, smoke, and whatever else lingered in the air almost had me running to the nearest bathroom.

When I finally broke free, I took a minute to let the nausea subside. The VIP section was packed and finding Sebastian took longer than I’d expected. But when my eyes finally landed on him, I wanted to turn around and run.

There he sat with women draped all around him as he exchanged laughter with a man I’d never seen before. The man had just as many women surrounding him, but he wasn’t the one I cared about.

Sebastian was.

He wasn’t even aware that I was there, but I didn’t think he would have cared anyway. Something told me he still would have run his fingers up and down the thigh of the woman next to him.

My eyes followed his fingers and bile rose up my throat.

I couldn’t do this.

I couldn’t stand there while he touched another woman.

How could he do this to me?

What had I done to deserve this?

“Is there something I can get for you?” one of the staff members working the VIP section asked.

I knew him.

I’d seen him around the club and I was positive he knew who I was by the guilty look on his face.

I jumped as if I’d been caught looking at porn. “I’m here to see Mr. Black. He’s expecting me. Could you please tell him I’m here?”

He nodded and my eyes followed him across the VIP section as he walked over to Sebastian and his group of whores. Sebastian didn’t look too pleased to be interrupted, but when he saw me, his expression changed. For a brief second, I thought maybe he looked guilty for being caught. But as soon as the expression crossed his face, it disappeared.

He leaned over and exchanged words with the man sitting with him before getting up, buttoning his jacket, and making his way toward me. I’d never get used to his stride. The calm, collected way he walked as his body swayed. The way his eyes devoured you even from across the room. I’d loved that about him. Now that he was leaving a group of women and heading my way, I hated it.

“You’re early,” he said with a grin when he reached my side.

I balled up my fist with the desire to punch him and my nails dug into my palm. It stung, but it felt good at the same time since it was taking away the pain in my heart a bit.

“Are you kidding me? Would you like me to apologize for interrupting your orgy?”