Little Girl Lost (17 page)

Max’s fingers closed around hers. Amazing how such a little thing could bring such a sense of understanding and support.

‘I lived on the streets for a while. I shoplifted. Food, mostly, because I was hungry. I was on my own and I was lonely and frightened. Then a gang took me in. Funny – I found myself doing the very thing I had run away from home to avoid. But at least it wasn’t my mother’s boyfriend.’

She waited for him to say something. Or at least remove his hand from hers. But he didn’t. That gave her the courage to go on.

‘We lived in the squats. Stole for a living. Not just food, but we robbed people and houses. And if the cops found out …’ Tia took a slow deep breath and closed her eyes. This was going to be hard to say. ‘If the cops found out, I would persuade them not to report us.’

Once again, the words hung in the air between them. ‘I am so sorry.’

‘There’s no need for you to say that, Max. It wasn’t you. If there’s one thing I have learned from the last ten years, it’s that there are men like that everywhere. And really good men are very few and hard to find.’ She hoped he understood what she was saying to him.

‘There was a gang leader. He … well, I was his.’ Now was the time to confess everything. To tell Max the whole story and ask for his help. But she couldn’t do it. It was one step too far. But for the first time, she was beginning to believe that one day, and one day soon, she would be able to tell him everything. ‘Let’s just say, I learned things about him. And so I had to run away.’

‘The Harley. It’s his.’ Max wasn’t asking a question.

‘Yes. I took it. I guess it was reported stolen.’

‘Actually, it wasn’t.’

Max took her by the shoulders and turned her to face him. She looked into his face and saw nothing there but honest concern.

‘Tia, I know there’s something you are not telling me. And that’s fine. Whenever you are ready, I’m here to help you, in whatever way I can. You have to know that.’

The depth of feeling in his words almost made her tell him. Instead, she nodded and stood on the tips of her toes to lightly brush her lips against his cheek. ‘I know.’

She made as if to step back, but he didn’t let her go. Slowly and gently he pulled her to him. She knew that he would never touch her against her will. If she wanted to, she could say no – something she had never had the chance to do before. For the first time, she didn’t want to say no.

He kissed her. It was a gentle kiss. Light and full of promise.

All that had gone before ceased to matter. The other men were nothing. Not even memories any more. This kiss was her first kiss and the sweetest thing she had ever known.

When at last he let her go, Max ran a finger ever so lightly down her cheek. He took her hand and led her back to the car, away from his small plot in the wilderness, but not from a hope for the future.

The mine compound was silent when Max pulled up next to her trailer. He got out and moved quickly to open the car door for her. It was the last act in an evening full of wonderful new experiences.

Tia hesitated, not certain if she should invite him inside. She didn’t want him to leave, but nor did she want to tarnish the most amazing evening of her life.

‘I’ll go now,’ Max said, relieving her of the decision.

‘Most of the men I’ve known would want—’

He reached up and gently touched one finger to her lips to silence her.

‘I do want. But I’m not most men. I can wait.’

He smiled at her, a smile that warmed her heart and soul, and then he turned and got back into his car. She watched his tail light vanish through the compound gates before opening the door to her trailer. Her mind was spinning with so many joyous thoughts, that for a few seconds she didn’t see what lay on her small table. Then she froze.

It was a newspaper cutting. The story was about the search for little Renee Haywood. It wasn’t the story that made her breath catch in her throat. It was the photograph. It showed the happy moment of reunion between Renee and her family at the search site. But there, looking on and smiling, was Tia, her face clearly visible.

Someone had broken into her trailer and put it there. But first that person had drawn an angry slash across her face in thick red ink.

Pete hated the smell of the hospital. He had no particular reason for his irrational hatred. As a kid he’d been to hospital once with a broken arm after a foolish tree-climbing accident. That hadn’t been particularly traumatic and he rarely, if ever, thought about it. This hatred of hospitals obviously stemmed from somewhere else that he couldn’t remember. Or maybe he just did not want to go into this particular hospital.

He took a last deep breath of the warm early evening air and then climbed the steps to the main entrance. The glass doors sliding closed behind him felt almost like the doors of a prison cell. He had spent most of the past three days at the hospital, or ferrying Linda’s mother between her home and her daughter’s bedside.

Linda was doing fine now, as was the baby. The bleeding that had so panicked her had stopped. And so had the pain. The doctors wanted her to put her feet up for a few days and rest, but they were happy for her to go home tomorrow. And therein lay his problem.

Pete didn’t want to take Linda to his home. He had taken the past few days off work to be with her, but he had to go back. He couldn’t afford not to. He didn’t want to leave Linda at his house alone, in case there was another scare. The doctors said that was unlikely, but he didn’t want to take the risk. She would be far better off staying with her mother.

What Pete couldn’t say to Linda, and in fact could barely admit to himself, was that he didn’t want Linda to go home
with him
. To have her in his home and in his bed, when he felt as he did for Sarah, would be dishonest. It could only hurt everyone concerned. But how could he break her heart when she was still in recovery from the terrible fear of losing their child? She was still frightened and upset and he couldn’t do anything to delay her recovery. He had to do the right thing by her.

What had Sarah said – sometimes what is right isn’t the right thing to do?

He allowed himself one lingering thought of Sarah, then pushed her away as he walked down the long echoing corridor towards the ward where Linda lay.

She wasn’t alone.

Pete hesitated in the doorway. There was a man seated on a chair beside Linda’s bed. He was holding her hand and they were obviously in the middle of some intense and private conversation. So much so, they didn’t see or hear him. Instinctively he stepped back, not wishing to interrupt them.

He felt like a fool standing there wondering who the man was, so after a few moments, he re-entered the room as noisily as he could without making it too obvious. Linda and her visitor turned as he walked in. Linda’s eyes were shining with tears.

‘Linda? Are you all right? What—’

‘You must be Pete.’ The man got to his feet and held out his hand. ‘I am Guy Raymond. Linda has told me a lot about you.’

Pete took his hand warily. Guy was about his own age, but shorter and well-groomed. His short brown hair and tailored shirt and trousers clearly marked him as a city man – as did his handshake. There were no callouses on those manicured hands. Everything about him said travelling salesman. Pete had to fight back a feeling of instant dislike for the man.

‘Pete, sit down. I’ve got something to tell you,’ Linda said.

Pete looked from Linda to Guy and back again, suspicion starting to form in his mind.

‘What’s this about?’ he asked slowly, remaining where he stood.

Linda and Guy shared a look. Guy nodded. ‘I’ll be back shortly,’ he said.

When they were alone, Pete sat down and looked at Linda. Her eyes were red. She had been crying, but nothing about her demeanour was sad. In fact, she looked radiant.

‘Linda, what’s going on?’

‘Pete, I really don’t know how to say this. I am so sorry. I’ve been lying to you.’

‘About what?’

Linda hesitated and Pete suddenly knew exactly what she was about to say.

‘The baby. It’s not yours.’

The words struck him like a physical blow.

‘How do you know it’s not mine? You’ve been with someone else?’

‘Yes. Guy.’

Strangely enough, that didn’t hurt so much.

‘And you know it’s his baby because of … what? The timing?’

‘Yes. I’m further along than I told you. Remember, when you were away on that long haul to Western Australia. You were gone for over a month. That’s when Guy and I …’

Linda’s voice trailed off and he saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes.

Pete couldn’t look at her. He got to his feet and crossed the room to stare out of the window. Out there the world was still spinning on its axis and people were going about their daily business. But inside this room, everything had changed. He felt as if he had lost something very important. He hadn’t ever wanted this baby, but over the past few weeks the child had become very real to him. As real as little Dustin Haywood placing a small hand in his, looking for comfort. Linda’s words ripped a huge hole in his heart, where the unborn child had begun to make its home. It hurt.

Tears began to fall down Linda’s cheeks. ‘Oh, Pete, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.’

‘Then why did you tell me it was my baby? You were trying to trick me into marrying you.’

‘It wasn’t like that, Pete. Honestly. I told Guy I was pregnant, but he left me. I couldn’t face being a single mum. So I told you it was yours. I knew you would be good to me and the baby. I know it was wrong but I was desperate.’

Pete suddenly remembered Mick’s words. He had asked Pete if he was sure, but he hadn’t meant about marrying Linda. He had been asking if he was sure the baby was his. Mick had known she was sleeping with someone else. He wondered if all his other mates knew too. Pete felt like a fool. He should be angry, but he wasn’t. He was more confused and hurt than anything else. After struggling so hard to accept the new reality of his life, it had changed again.

A hand touched his arm. He turned to find Linda standing beside him. In her hospital gown, with a face devoid of make-up she looked younger – and in some ways more beautiful than she ever had before.

‘I’m sorry, Pete. You have to believe me. But today Guy came back. He wants us to make a go of it. As a family. He says he loves me, and I know you don’t.’

She must have seen the frown creasing his forehead.

‘Oh, Pete,’ she said. ‘You are such a good man. You were going to do the right thing, even though you didn’t want to. I love you a little for that.’ She reached up and kissed him on the cheek. ‘But you don’t have to. Not any more. I’m …’ she hesitated and placed one hand gently on her stomach ‘… we are going to be all right.’

His anger faded, and all that was left behind was that aching hole in his heart. Behind them, the sound of returning footsteps told Pete that it was time for him to go. He turned and shook Guy’s hand.

‘You are a lucky man.’ He meant it.

‘I know.’

‘You take good care of them, you hear?’

‘I intend to.’

Pete left them.

The walk down the grey hospital corridor seemed endless as he came to terms with the loss of something that had become important to him, even though it had really never been his. But as he walked, his step became lighter, as if a burden had been removed from his shoulders. As the sliding glass doors released him back into the sunlight, he knew where he had to go.

Back at the depot, he looked for Mick, but his friend was out on the road. Men who spend much of their time alone do like to gossip, and most of the drivers knew Linda. Pete deftly turned aside their questions as he headed for the office. He needed a load. Not just any load. He needed a load for Coorah Creek.

‘Stop fussing, daughter. I am perfectly capable of stacking a few shelves.’

‘I know you are, Dad,’ Sarah said with a sigh. ‘But you don’t want to do too much.’

‘You heard what Doctor Adam said,’ her father reminded her. ‘He said my bloods are looking much better.’

‘But you’ve still got more tests to do,’ Sarah reminded him.

Ken put the tinned fruit he was holding on the shelves and sighed. ‘I know I have. But I feel the best I have in months,’ he said. ‘Please, Sarah, don’t fuss. Let me enjoy a day that feels like every day used to.’

Sarah threw her arms around her father in a hug that was filled with contrition and very gentle love.

‘Sorry, Dad.’

Ken hugged her back. ‘And I’m sorry too. I know I’ve been pretty hard to live with these past few months. I am so grateful you came home. Your mother is strong, but having you here too was a great help to her.’

‘I am so glad I was here when you both needed me,’ Sarah said slowly.

Her father extricated himself from her hug, and looked at her intently. ‘Are you thinking of going back?’

That was the big question, wasn’t it? Sarah had to think for a few seconds, to make sure she phrased the answer the right way.

‘I wouldn’t go if you still needed me. But as you are so quick to point out, you’re getting better. At some point I guess I have to get on with my life.’

Ken nodded. ‘I understand. But your mother and I were hoping you’d stay. Find a job in town, or even take over the store so we could retire.’

Sarah chuckled. ‘Retire? Dad you are never going to retire.’

‘Maybe not.’ Ken hesitated and Sarah knew exactly what he was going to say next. ‘I thought that maybe you wanted to stay around because of Pete.’

There it was. The thing she had been avoiding for several days. There was no hiding now – not from her father and not from herself.

‘No. That’s not going to work,’ she said, doing her best to keep her voice neutral.

‘Oh. I thought …’

‘No.’

‘I’m sorry, honey.’

‘That’s all right, Dad. It was only a child’s crush after all. I’ve grown up a lot since then. That’s why I think going away is probably the best thing for me. But I promise it won’t be so long between visits in the future.’

Sarah busied herself stacking the shelves. She didn’t want her father to see the glint of tears in her eyes. But he understood. Her father always had.

‘Let me go and see if your mother and I can organise some lunch. And a cuppa. How does that sound?’

‘Great,’ Sarah said. She wasn’t hungry, but a few minutes alone would give her a chance to try to shift the wave of sadness that had settled about her like a cloak at the mention of Pete’s name.

She had to forget about him. He had a girlfriend and a child on the way. He hadn’t lied to her, but he hadn’t told her the truth either. That kiss they had shared while searching for Renee had been the sweetest moment of her life. And now it was lost. She could almost hate him for that.

A crash from the storeroom behind the shop made her jump.

‘Dad!’

She dropped the tins she was stacking and ran the length of the store to the open doorway at the back. But it wasn’t her father lying on the floor surrounded by shattered tea mugs. It was her mother. Before Sarah could reach her, Ken appeared from the direction of the house and flung himself down beside his wife.

‘Gina? Gina? Talk to me.’

But his wife remained unmoving, her eyes shut and her chest rising and falling so slowly Sarah could barely see it.

‘Call Doctor Adam!’

Before the words were even out of her father’s mouth, Sarah was reaching for the phone.

Adam seemed to take forever to get there. Sarah stood rooted to the spot, unable to move. Her father sat on the floor beside his wife, speaking to her softly and holding her hand. His face was stricken. Sarah saw more anguish on his face than she had at even the worst moments of his own illness. It was easier for him to face his own mortality than to face a future without the woman who had been the centre of his life for thirty years. The love Sarah saw on his face was as humbling as it was heartbreaking.

At Adam’s instructions, they hadn’t tried to move her. All Sarah wanted to do was put a pillow under her mother’s head, and straighten her skirt. Gina was a neat and tidy person. She would not have approved of the way she was lying there, limbs all awry.

The front door of the shop opened and Adam dashed in. He saw Sarah in the storeroom doorway and came straight to her. He placed his emergency bag down and knelt next to Gina.

‘Ken, you have to let me do my job,’ Adam said gently as he eased Gina’s hand away from her husband’s grasp. Ken sat back a fraction, but his eyes never left Gina’s still face.

Sarah leaned against the doorway for support as Adam took her mother’s pulse and listened to her chest. Then she heard a murmur, and her mother’s eyes flickered open.

‘Gina, it’s Adam Gilmore. You passed out. But I’m here now and we are going to take good care of you.’

Her mother’s lips moved, but no sound came out. She began to move one hand as if searching for something. She fell still again when her husband cradled her hand in his.

‘Sarah, get your mother some water,’ Adam instructed without looking around. Sarah raced into the shop to grab a water bottle and was back in a flash. By then Adam had helped Gina into a sitting position, supported by both her doctor and her husband.

‘I am going to take you to the hospital,’ Adam said as he assisted Gina to take a mouthful of water. ‘I don’t think we need to go to the Isa yet. Let’s see how you are doing in an hour or so. I’ll have Jess and the plane on standby, though, just in case. Okay?’

Gina nodded slowly.

‘Right.’

Behind her, Sarah heard the door to the shop open and then crash shut. Whoever it was, they were going to have to go away. She turned to tell them to do just that, and saw Pete standing there, his face a still mask of concern.

‘What’s wrong?’

She wanted to run to him. Her knight. She wanted to bury her face in his chest and ask him to make everything all right for her. But his armour was tarnished now and she was no longer a little girl waiting for his truck to appear on the road.

‘Mum collapsed,’ she said shortly. ‘Doctor Adam wants to take her to the hospital.’

‘Do you need any help?’

‘Is that you, Pete?’ Adam’s voice called from inside the storeroom. ‘We could use a pair of strong arms.’

Sarah stood back as Pete walked through into the storeroom. In a few seconds he had scooped Gina up in his arms and was carrying her through the store to Adam’s car, where he placed her in the back seat, as gently as if she were made of glass.