Little White Lies (44 page)

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Authors: Lesley Lokko

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BOOK: Little White Lies
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Tash looked at it as though seeing it for the first time. ‘Prada,’ she said with faint smile. ‘We get given a lot of stuff.’ There was another awkward silence. Annick looked beyond Tash to the street beyond. She was lost for words. Then, in a gesture of almost unbearable tenderness, Tash lifted her head, loosening her scarf. Her long pale neck was suddenly exposed, giving away to anyone who cared to see it so much of her own vulnerability that all the embarrassment and the faint flickering of resentment that Annick felt at having been caught out, vanished. Everything went right out of her and she had to put out a hand, grabbing onto the reception counter.

In an instant, Tash was beside her. ‘Easy, Annick,’ she said gently. ‘Here, sit down. I’m a
complete
idiot. I should’ve rung first, I’m sorry.’

‘No, no, of course not. It’s . . . I’m fine. It’s just . . . it’s just such a surprise, that’s all—’

‘A surprise?’ Tash helped her to her seat behind the counter. ‘I’ll bloody say! Here . . . let me get you something. Glass of water?’

Annick shook her head. She could hear Claudette clattering down the stairs with her mops and brooms and that unruly snake of a vacuum cleaner. ‘I’m f-fine,’ she stammered. ‘Just need to catch my breath. H-how did you find me?’

‘Aunt Libertine. I spent the afternoon with her. She almost poisoned me with her sherry, mind, but . . . well, here you are. Here
I
am. I . . . I don’t know what to say, Annie. I don’t know why it took me so long . . . well, I
do
know, but that’s no fucking excuse. I—’

Suddenly the side door behind them swung open and Claudette clattered into the lobby with all her cleaning paraphernalia. She looked from Annick to Tash and back again, raising an eyebrow. A woman with a Prada bag was a rare sighting in the lobby of the Hôtel du Jardin. The three women looked at each other.

‘Er, Claudette, this . . . this is a friend of mine,’ Annick stammered. ‘From London.’

‘Nice to meet you, Claudette,’ Tash said sincerely, holding out a hand. ‘I’m Tash.’

Claudette, unaccustomed to such open warmth, especially in one so well-dressed, held back shyly. Annick’s eyes widened. It was the first time Annick had ever seen Claudette appear shy. She shook hands, stole a sideways glance at Annick and then beat a hasty retreat.

‘She seems nice,’ Tash said mildly as the door closed behind her. She turned to Annick. ‘What time d’you finish here?’ she asked as if it was the most natural question in the world.

‘Eight. Tomorrow morning. I . . . I’m doing night shifts.’

‘Isn’t there anyone who could cover for you?’

‘Cover for me?’

‘Yeah. I think we could both do with a drink. I know
I
could.’

Annick bit her lip. ‘Well, there’s Wasis . . . he’s the other receptionist. I . . . I could ask him but—’

‘Ask him,’ Tash said firmly. ‘And tell him we’ll make it worth his while.
I’ll
make it worth his while. Now I
really
need a drink,’ Tash laughed shakily. ‘Come on. Let’s get out of here.’

Annick swallowed. She picked up the phone. That was Tash. Ever so bossy. Still.

An hour later, having bribed a sulky Wasis with a fifty-euro note which subsequently brightened him up no end, Annick and Tash were seated opposite one another in a small cafe just off the main boulevard. It was nearly nine p.m. and rain had begun to fall lightly again. In contrast to the lightness Tash had shown earlier, in the hotel, now, sitting across the table from her, both girls were nervous. The tiny restaurant was in some kind of uproar behind them; a large party of fifteen, twenty people were seated at the long table near the window. Every so often came the loud disorder of chairs being scraped back and forth and outbursts of laughter that shattered the delicate silence that had fallen between them. Tash traced the outline of flowers on the plastic tablecloth with a forefinger, not speaking. The silence deepened.

‘What happened, Annick?
How
did it happen? Can . . . can you talk about it?’

Annick looked down at her own hands, folded carefully in her lap. ‘I still don’t know all the details,’ she said simply. ‘I was at work – I think it was a Monday morning . . . nothing out of the ordinary. I went out to get a sandwich and then I went to the bank and all my accounts had been frozen. I . . . I walked down the Strand. I didn’t really know what to do. I called home but the lines were down. And then I saw one of those
Evening Standard
billboards, you know, the ones on the side of the road. And I saw the headline. That’s how I knew.’

‘Jesus Christ. How . . . that must have been
awful
.’

Annick nodded. ‘Yeah, and then I went back to the flat and Mrs Price just kept saying that I’d better go to Paris. Aunt Libertine was afraid they’d come after the property, but I don’t know why. I don’t even know if they did.’

‘We went there . . . me and Rebecca. It must have been a couple of days afterwards. I saw it on the news and I rang Rebecca straight away. Funny, it was the first time we’d spoken since . . . well, since the party. But the whole place was in complete darkness. We must’ve gone back, oh, I don’t know . . . four, five times after that . . . but it was always the same. The last time we passed, it was boarded up.’

Annick swallowed. Boarded up. Her home. She blew out her cheeks. ‘Well, maybe it was all for nothing? Who knows.’

‘So what did you do?’

‘I came here,’ Annick shrugged. ‘I stayed with Aunt Libertine for a while. Well, you know what she’s like . . . I couldn’t bear the thought of having to live off her charity. So . . . I found a job.’

‘Doing
this
?’

‘Well, what else was I supposed to do? My qualifications wouldn’t transfer over . . . I had absolutely no money, Tash. Nothing. I think I left with fifty quid on me. How long d’you think that lasts?’

Tash bowed her head. ‘Weren’t you frightened?’ she asked after a moment.

Annick shrugged. ‘Yes, of course. Not like Aunt Libertine, though. She seemed to think they’d be after her and me. I don’t remember being afraid of
that
. All I could think about . . . all I
ever
think about is that I’ll never see them again.’ She blinked rapidly. ‘That’s the bit I still can’t accept. So I don’t think about it. I don’t think about anything. I get up, I go to work . . . that’s it.’

Tash put out a hand, covering hers. ‘I didn’t know what to do. I kept calling you and there was no answer and your work just said you’d left suddenly. No one knew where you’d gone. We shouldn’t have given up so easily. I . . . I just—’ She looked away, a hot flush coming up into her face. ‘Well, you know why I gave up. I was . . . I was ashamed. Of what . . . happened.’

Annick shook her head. ‘It wasn’t
your
fault. If anyone was to blame about
that
. . . well, it was him. He shouldn’t . . . he should never have—’

‘I didn’t know it was him at first.’ The words suddenly spilled out of Tash’s mouth. ‘And by the time I realised . . . it was too late. I . . . I didn’t know how to stop.’

Annick shook her head. ‘I . . . I know. It’s hard for me to talk about him like that, especially now, but I don’t blame you. Not anymore. My mother told me—’

‘She didn’t know, did she?’ Tash’s hand flew up to her mouth.

‘No, no . . . I don’t think so. At least
I
never said anything. But she told me other stuff about him. Stuff with the servants . . . you know.’ Annick fell uncomfortably silent. She looked away. Tash’s eyes were bright with tears. ‘It doesn’t matter anymore,’ she said slowly. ‘You’re here. I’m just sorry you found me like this.’ She looked around her.

‘Why didn’t you come to
us
? We’d have done anything to help you, you know that.’

Annick shook her head. ‘How could I? I was too embarrassed. I just couldn’t bear the thought of anyone seeing me that way. I just couldn’t bear the thought of anyone’s pity.’ She too looked away. ‘I know it’s hard to explain—’

Tash shook her head. ‘No, it’s not. I know exactly what you mean. That’s how it’s always been for me. You and Rebecca . . . you lived on an entirely different planet.’ Tash’s voice caught suddenly. She reached up and fiercely wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her expensive-looking shirt. Annick’s eyes widened in disbelief. She couldn’t remember
ever
seeing Tash cry.

‘Can I get you ladies anything to eat?’ Their waiter interrupted them as he topped up their glasses.

Both shook their heads. ‘No, thanks,’ Tash said shakily. ‘But can you get us something a
bit
more drinkable than this?’

‘But of course, madam,’ the waiter withdrew immediately. A few minutes later he was back, bearing a bottle before him with considerable pride. Glad of the diversion, Tash made a great show of tasting it and nodding her approval.

‘I saw you in a magazine,’ Annick began tentatively when he’d finally left them alone. ‘Not that long ago. Someone left a newspaper at the hotel. It was the
Guardian
, I think.’

‘Oh,
that
.’ Tash smiled faintly. ‘Doing interviews is my least favourite bit about all this. Everyone’s always wondering how someone as ugly as me gets to run a fashion business.’

‘Don’t say that,’ Annick said quickly.

‘Why not? It’s true.’ Tash grinned. She shrugged. ‘Anyway, we’re not here to talk about
me
, darling. We’re here to sort out what you’re going to do.’

‘What d’you mean?’ Annick’s heart gave a lurch.

‘You don’t think I’m going back without you, do you?’

‘What d’you mean?’ Annick asked again, her heart beginning to accelerate.

‘You’re coming back with me.’

‘I . . . I can’t,’ Annick said, panicking.

‘Of course you can.’

‘But what about my job?’

‘Your
job
? You’re a solicitor, Annick, not a hotel receptionist. Why on earth would you even care about that job? I mean it. I’m not leaving without you. If it means waiting in Paris for a couple of days whilst you sort things out, I will. You’re coming home.’

‘Tash, I c-can’t.’

‘Why? Is there something else? You’re not
married
or anything, are you?’ Tash asked in alarm.

Annick began to cry again. ‘N-no, of course not. It’s just . . . it’s all so s-sudden,’ she said, furiously wiping away her own tears. ‘I . . . I just d-don’t know what to say.’

‘Don’t say anything.’ Tash suddenly laid her hand on the table, palm down. She spread her fingers so that the little tattoo was clearly visible. ‘Where’s your hand?’ she asked.

Annick lay her own next to hers. The two identical tattoos stared back up at them. Neither said anything for a moment. Tash reached over and lightly traced the outline, touching each of the three points of the triangle in turn. Annick closed her eyes. She was wrong. The circle wasn’t broken after all.

76

The Hôtel Gabriel seemed to belong to another city, another planet . . . another way of life. From the moment the taxi pulled up outside the four-storey building in the Marais and a bellhop jumped forward to help them out, Annick felt as though she’d stumbled into someone else’s dream.


Bonsoir, mesdames, bonsoir
.’ The receptionists couldn’t have been more delighted to see them if they’d tried. Gleaming teeth, glossy hair, smiles as wide as the Seine.

Tash remained coolly unmoved. ‘My friend will be staying with me in the suite. Please take her bags right up. We’ll have a drink in the bar first.’

‘Very good, Mademoiselle Bryce-Brudenell.’ And that was that. Annick’s two bags that she’d hastily packed whilst Tash waited downstairs were whisked out of sight. It was nearly midnight but the bar, just off to one side of the lobby, was still full. Tash ignored the one or two people who looked up as they entered and walked straight to a table by the window. Annick followed, too stunned to speak. She watched as Tash ordered a bottle of champagne, wishing the ground would open up and swallow her whole. She’d never felt so out of place in her life. The glamour and opulence around her made her feel almost nauseous.

‘Cheers,’ Tash said, raising her champagne flute as soon as the waiter had withdrawn.

Annick’s head was swimming. The two glasses she’d had earlier on in the cafe had gone straight to her head. She wasn’t used to drinking alcohol on a daily, or even weekly basis. She looked around her nervously. A few years ago the roles would have been reversed. Now it was Tash who looked supremely at home in the elegant surroundings. It was Annick who was the imposter. And why on earth hadn’t she said anything about Yves yet?

‘Cheers,’ she whispered, as though the very sound of her voice might alert someone to the fact that she wasn’t supposed to be there.

‘We’ll call Rebecca first thing tomorrow morning. I didn’t even tell her I was going to look for you, just in case . . . well, just in case I didn’t find you. She’ll be over the moon.’

Annick shook her head. ‘I can’t believe she’s married,’ she said slowly, playing with the stem of her champagne flute. ‘It seems so . . . well, so grown up, somehow,’ she laughed shakily.

‘We
are
all grown up, darling,’ Tash smiled. ‘Comes quicker than you think, maybe, but we are. And you? I know I asked you this before but I can’t believe there isn’t
some
one.’

Annick hesitated for the merest fraction of a second. ‘No,’ she said, shaking her head slowly from side to side. ‘No, there’s no one.’ She looked back down at her hands, aware of Tash’s thoughtful gaze. She didn’t dare lift her eyes. If she’d been unable to hide anything from Tash back then, she had the distinctly uneasy feeling she’d be doubly unable to do so now.

77

REBECCA
London

She galloped upstairs to take the call, leaving Annick sitting alone in the beautiful front room with a tray of untouched tea and biscuits in front of her. They’d been talking non-stop since breakfast and she was irritated by the interruption. It was Julian.

‘I don’t understand it. Why didn’t you just call?’

‘I was going to but when I phoned the airline to change my ticket, everything got so rushed. The only flight I could get was late yesterday afternoon and I didn’t want to disturb you in the middle of your meetings. And then when I got here, Tash and Annick were waiting for me . . . I just forgot, Julian. I’m sorry.’

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