Living With Lies Trilogy (Books 1, 2, and 3 of The Dancing Moon Ranch Series) (10 page)

"Is it because he's my husband's baby, or because you don't want any more kids?" Grace asked.

"Neither," Jack replied. He stretched out on the bed behind Grace and curved his arm over her and snuggled against her. "There's a lot going on with me right now and I don't want you getting your feelings all tangled up with mine. We've been thrown together in this situation—"

"Is this all it is to you, Jack? A situation?" Grace asked, staring at the window.

"That's not what I meant."

"Then, I'll word it another way. You've been thrown together with a woman who accidentally got impregnated with your sperm, and now you're forced into dealing with it, and she's making demands you don't want to meet. I'd call that a situation."

Jack pulled her against him and kissed her on the side of her face and along her jaw, and said, "Honey, whatever this is, I wouldn't change it if I could because I know you'll be a good mother for Adam. As for demands, we don't want to rush into something we could later regret."

Grace couldn't decide if Jack was talking about having later regrets over rushing into adopting a son, or rushing into a relationship, but when Jack started rubbing her back... and her shoulder... and up to massage her neck, she began to relax some and concentrated instead on the magic of Jack's hands.

After a few minutes, she gave a little sigh, and said, "I'm sorry what I said about uncircumcised men. It was just a survey. I doubt it meant anything." She had no idea what prompted her to talk about circumcisions at this particular moment, but it seemed to fit into their disorganized conversation about feelings and situations.

"Like I said, I haven't had any complaints," Jack replied, continuing to rub her back, his palm moving over her shoulder and up to massage her neck again, and when she turned her head toward him, and his lips covered hers, all she was aware of was the feel of his hand caressing first one breast, then the other, and as the kiss held and deepened, Jack glided his hand over her belly and down between her legs and concentrated on that area until Grace found her breaths coming so quickly she had to break the kiss for air, and moments later, a tremor rushed through her, followed by wave upon wave of sensual pleasure as her body at last found satisfaction.

After she'd settled into quiet contentment, Jack kissed her on the side of the face, and said, "You're very responsive."

"I guess I am," Grace replied, "but you must be very frustrated."

"Nothing a cold shower won't cure." Jack gave her another kiss on the side of her face and left the room, closing the door behind him. A few minutes later, Grace heard the shower running.

It wasn't until then that she realized she hadn't broached the subject of flying to New Jersey to have the baby, even as the thought of it brought flutters to her stomach and an acrid taste rising in her throat.
              But for the first time since she'd lost Marc, she felt sexually alive again. Except for the frustration of having had a man make a kind of pseudo love to her while he was encased in denim, and leather, and a wide belt buckle, and wearing boots. But as soon as the baby was born, she intended to change all that.

***

The next day, after emptying the baby dresser of baby clothes, then having breakfast with Maureen at the lodge, Grace returned to Jack's house as Jack drove off in his pickup with the baby furniture in back, and knew he'd packed it up while she was at breakfast. She thought he might stop and talk, but instead, he gave her a kind of salute as he passed. He'd left the house early to feed the horses, so she hadn't seen him since the night before, and she felt lonely. She'd wanted to see him before he left, maybe have him give her a little affectionate kiss goodbye. Or she might see one of his rare smiles. And she wanted him to come to her bed again tonight, but it wouldn't end with him taking a cold shower.

Actually about thirty seconds,
he'd said, when she'd commented on the insignificant part he played in her pregnancy and the ease of simply depositing sperm into a cup.

She also remembered his smile after he'd said it. She loved that smile. Tonight, she'd give him the minute he needed to take care of the problem, or however long it took to put that smile on his face, but they'd both be smiling by then.

From her stance on the porch, she looked across the drive at Sam and Susan's house and was tempted to walk over and see how Ricky was doing. They'd stayed the night at the hospital, where Ricky had been given another transfusion and returned around mid-morning. But as she contemplated whether to inquire about Ricky or not, she heard angry voices coming from inside the house. Sam and Susan going at it for some reason. She could understand Sam finally snapping. Susan was completely self-centered, and Sam catered to her completely, but he wasn't catering to her now. And then the front door flew open and Sam came out, and Susan followed behind. Grace stepped back in the shadows of the porch, and listened. It was none of her business, but Susan was pregnant with Marc's child and the irrational woman was on the verge of aborting the baby.

Susan flailed a hand at Sam, eyes sharp with anger. "When we got married we both agreed, no kids, and you promised we'd start a fitness center," she said to Sam's broad back, in a curt, angry voice, "and now you're talking about putting in a damn winery!"

Sam turned to confront her. "The fitness center was never my idea," he fired back, "and you knew from the beginning that I planned to put in a vineyard and start a winery."

"After my fitness center!"
Susan snapped. "But then you got me pregnant!"

"You're the one who went off the pill."

"
Only because they made me sick!"
Susan barked. "You ever heard of condoms?"

Sam glanced around to see if anyone was nearby, then turned back to Susan, and said, "Yeah, I've heard of condoms. I've spent my entire married life wearing them. When you got pregnant with Ricky was the
only
time I didn't." He let out a short snort of derision. "I never thought when I got cancer in my balls you'd be cheering because after getting them zapped you wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant again."

Susan folded her arms and glared at Sam. "Well, you got the child you wanted from that one time," she said, her voice rising with her anger, "and I've devoted my life to him, and now I'm stuck with this—" she shoved a stiff finger against her protruding belly "—because you talked me into it. Well, I'm tired of you running my life."

"Running your life!"
Sam bellowed. "Hell, Susan, no one runs your life. The whole damn ranch revolves around it. It's all about you." He stomped down the porch steps and got in his SUV, and Susan rushed back inside and slammed the door.

Grace turned into the house, heart pounding, worries about what Susan might do to Marc's baby foremost on her mind. As soon as Jack returned from delivering the baby furniture to the women's shelter and dropping the boxes at the thrift shop, she'd insist he approach Sam about adopting the baby, if Susan would agree to carry him to full term. She'd also talk to Jack about flying to New Jersey to have their baby. Ricky might have a shrew for a mother, but he had a saint for a father, and she was determined to make Sam's only child well, if it were within her power.

CHAPTER 9

Feeling drained after witnessing the angry exchange between Susan and Sam, Grace lowered herself into a chair near the fireplace, close to where Jack put Mei Ling's box with her kittens. Picking up her knitting, she returned to her latest project, which was a large pair of red wool socks to go inside a large pair of boots. She hoped to finish them, complete with heels, before the baby came. Reaching into the knitting bag Maureen insisted on buying, she picked up where she'd left off, and continued knitting from one circular needle to the other, pulling the yarn tight on the first stitch on each needle so the stitches would be as uniform as she could make them.

Up to this point you've just been knitting a tube,
the directions said
.

About fourteen inches of red wool tube, Grace figured, as she held up the thing.

But now it is time to shape the heel. As you work, stitch more and more stitches until you have worked the whole row and the heel is turned.

She stopped knitting to study the series of photos in the book, hoping they'd shed light on the written directions, when a knock on the front door startled her. Before she could get up, the door opened slightly and Maureen poked her head inside. "Come on in," Grace said.

Maureen took a chair from the dining table and positioned it near where Grace sat, and said, "My brother, Greg, just called. He's coming to Portland for a meeting and he'll be staying at the ranch for one night. He'll be arriving in a couple of days. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Grace replied, wondering if she should tell Maureen about Susan and Sam, or assume that Maureen knew. Jack had said nothing about problems in the marriage, and maybe it was in no danger of ending. Some couples went on for years fighting and bickering, but she'd seen too much venom coming from Susan to think the marriage could hold up much longer, especially with Susan blaming Sam for Ricky, and now for Marc's baby.

"Honey?" Maureen said, when Grace found herself staring at the sock in her hand, while mulling over the situation with Sam and Susan.

"Silly me," Grace said. "Sometimes my mind's in a fog. I'm trying to figure out how to do a heel." She held up what she'd knitted. "The directions aren't clear, and I can't put off knitting the heel much longer or Jack will have socks up to his ying yang."

Maureen laughed. "Whatever you do, he'll love."

"I don't know about that," Grace said, "my stitches aren't very uniform."

"Doesn't matter," Maureen replied. "He'll be happy you knitted something just for him. Beneath that rugged, masculine exterior of his he's really a hearth-and-home kind of guy. He's just forgotten what it's like."

Grace gave a wistful sigh. Bringing hearth-and-home back to Jack seemed an impossible task. "He hasn't given that impression," she said. "He's barely noticed anything I've done with the house."

"He has a lot on his mind right now," Maureen replied. Then her face grew hard, and she added, "I can't forgive Lauren for destroying a good man like Jack by killing the most precious thing she'd given him. A complete betrayal."

"Do you think he'll ever come to terms with it?" Grace asked.

"I think he will after the baby's born." Maureen covered Grace's hand with her own. "I also think Jack cares about you more than he realizes."

"I know he cares about our baby," Grace said. "I even get a little jealous sometime. Then I ask myself, how many expectant fathers would go to birthing classes, or want to deliver their babies, or treat the mothers of their babies like she was the greatest gift to mankind since Eve. That's so much more than I had before the mix-up."

Maureen smiled. "It's odd how things work out. If I had been able to choose a wife for Jack and a mother for my next grandchild, it would have been you."

Grace felt warm and cushy inside. Looking at Maureen, she said, "I think I would have picked you too for a grandmother for my son… and a mother-in-law," then wondered if it was a good idea to be so open with Maureen about her feelings for Jack, especially since she wasn't yet sure of them herself, though she was beginning to think maybe she was.

Maureen gave her hand a little squeeze. "Enough of this maudlin stuff. Greg's an attorney, and when he gets here he wants to meet with you and Jack and Sam and talk about the lawsuit against the clinic, but we'll leave Susan out. She's too unstable."

Unstable was not the word Grace would use to describe Susan. Spoiled. Selfish. Egotistical. Completely self-centered. The list could go on and on. She wondered how much of Susan's theatrics, emotional outbursts, and bouts of crying were simply a way to get Sam to jump through her hoops. And right now, Susan was carrying a child she didn't want, and she was living in a state where abortions were legal up to the moment before a full-term baby took its first breath, and there wasn't a thing anyone could do to stop her if she decided to terminate the pregnancy. Grace felt a knot in her stomach with the thought of Susan making that decision.

"You've known Susan for some time now," she said to Maureen. "Do you think she's capable of ending the pregnancy at this late date?"

"Susan can be impulsive," Maureen replied. An evasive answer, Grace knew, but an answer none the less. "Sam wants this child. He never agreed with Susan about not having kids. He just went along with it hoping she'd change over time. And I've never believed Ricky was a mistake. It might have been for Susan, but I don't think it was for Sam. I think he knew exactly what he was doing the night Ricky was conceived. I was also surprised when Susan agreed to go along with the artificial insemination plan. I'm not surprised with the way she's behaving, knowing the baby's of no use to them now, at least not to Susan. He is to Sam."

Grace felt a rush of adrenaline with Maureen's words, but they were accurate. "Sam and Susan had a fight a little while ago," she said, deciding the time was right to draw Maureen into the situation.

Maureen arched a brow. "They bicker. Susan wants things her way and sometimes Sam disagrees." There was a touch of venom in Maureen's tone, and Grace suspected her feelings for Susan were far from motherly, but Maureen wasn't one to stir things up by denigrating her daughter-in-law, regardless of how she felt.

"Actually, it was more than bickering," Grace said. "They were having a fight."

"Where were they?" Maureen asked.

"On their front porch," Grace replied. "I shouldn't have listened, but I've been worried about Susan getting rid of my husband's baby so I couldn't turn away. Initially, I thought that's what the argument was about, but it wasn't. Well it was, but it seemed to be more about Sam wanting to start a winery."

"Sam was planning on putting in grapes and starting a winery before he and Susan married. He even got his Masters in wine making from the University of California," Maureen said. "But with the problems with Ricky, Sam put it off, and now Susan's putting pressure on him to turn his back on that and the ranch and start a fitness center."

"That was part of the fight too," Grace said. "They were pretty angry at each other."

"Sam too?" Maureen asked.

"Oh yes. He walked away from her and got in his SUV and drove off, which was right after Susan accused him of talking her into having the second baby, which was right after she accused him of getting her pregnant with the first."

"Well, Susan doesn't have to worry about that anymore." Maureen pursed her lips. "I don't know what it is with my boys. They're the most honorable men I know, and I couldn't be any more proud of them, but they managed to find wives who..." she stopped.

"It's okay," Grace said. "I understand."

"I do have one more thing to add to that," Maureen said. "If you and Jack got married, I'd be a very happy woman."

Grace looked at Maureen in surprise, and before she could stop herself, she found herself replying, "I'd be happy too."

"Then maybe it's time I became an interfering mother," Maureen said, in a tone that made Grace wonder if she might be serious.

"No, please don't," Grace said. "I'm not sure why I said that. Besides, I don't want to put pressure on Jack. Maybe while we're getting to know each other I'll learn how to knit heels."

Maureen chuckled. "Jack will love the socks, with or without heels." She gave Grace a hug, and let herself out. Grace held up the sock, with all its irregular stitches, and sighed.

She's really a hearth-and-home kind of guy...

Which meant, Lauren probably knew how to knit heels and cross-stitch scenes without having every stitch end up a different length. And Lauren was strikingly-beautiful, and could ride horses, and probably made flaky pie crusts, and baked perfect bread. Women like that seemed to be able to do anything well without effort.

And then she killed Jack's son.

I can't forgive her for destroying a good man like Jack.

Nor could Grace. She only hoped she'd never meet Lauren Hansen face-to-face, or she might not be responsible for her actions.

***

Jack moved Grace's bed and dresser into the old nursery, and while Grace was putting her things away, Jack painted the two interior walls of the back bedroom, then moved the new baby furniture into the room and left to work the horses. But before going, he took Grace by the shoulders and kissed her. It was a short, sweet kiss, like a husband kissing his wife, and it left Grace feeling giddy. She even found herself humming while she busied herself putting baby clothes away.

She was in the process of arranging tiny clothes in the drawers of the new dresser when Flo came to the front door to tell her there was a call for her on the lodge phone. Grace walked to the lodge with Flo, and when she took the call, she was disturbed to find her mother on the other end of the line.

"Grace? Are you there?" her mother asked, during the long pause while Grace was attempting to concoct a reason why she couldn't talk right now. Her mother had barely adjusted to the sperm mix up, which followed on the heels of Grace’s being pregnant with the baby of a dead man, all of which had erupted in a diatribe about Grace’s lack of good sense with the whole artificial insemination idea. Her mother also knew nothing about
the baby's father
, or that he was part owner of the Dancing Moon Ranch, where she was staying because of premature labor.

She wanted her parents to know as little as possible.

"Yes, I'm here," Grace said. "It's not a very good connection."

"How are things going?" her mother asked.

"Fine," Grace replied.

"Are you still planning on keeping the baby?" her mother asked. The idea that she'd keep the baby of a stranger seemed beyond her mother's reasoning capabilities.

"Yes, Mom, I'm keeping him."

"How do we get to the ranch from McMinnville?" her mother asked.

After a long pause, in which Grace tried to digest the fact that her parents seemed to be not more than twenty minutes away, her mother said, "Grace?"

"Yes, you wanted to know how to get here," Grace said. "Are you and Dad in McMinnville... now?"

"Actually the man here at the gas station told Dad how to get to the ranch. We'll be there in a few minutes." The line went dead.

Grace moved to one of the front windows of the lodge and looked out, and a few minutes later, she saw her parents car approaching. Resigned to the inevitable, she walked over and stood by the front door and waited for her parents to enter.

"Oh my," Ethel Page said, when she saw the size of Grace's belly. "Are you sure you're not having twins?"

"No, Mom. Just one very big boy." Graced kissed her mother on the cheek, even while her mother continued to look at her belly.

Grace's dad came in and shut the door, and he too stared at Grace's belly.

"Like I told Mom, I'm having a very big boy," Grace said.

"Then you're feeling well?" Ethel asked.

"Yes," Grace replied. "Come on in and sit down." She ushered them to a grouping of overstuffed chairs in front of the fireplace and motioned for them to sit on a couch with its back to the window facing the stable and the corral, where they couldn't look out and see Jack working the horses, although there would be no reason for them to conclude that he was the father of her baby. She'd said nothing about what the father did for a living, implying that she'd be raising the child alone, and a settlement from the fertility clinic would cover the cost.

When the three of them were settled, Grace's parents on the couch, and Grace sitting on an adjacent chair, Grace's mother said, "You still have time to reconsider raising this baby, Grace. There are lots of couples who want to adopt but find themselves on a long waiting list. You'd be doing them a service."

"We've been all through this, Mom. I'm keeping the baby."

"I hope you don't plan to go through this again to have Marc's child," Ethel said. "It was foolish enough the first time."

"The sample of sperm Marc donated is gone," Grace said, having no intention of telling her parents it had gone to the sister-in-law of her baby's father. She hadn't even told Marc's parents that, only that there was a mix-up and she wouldn't be having Marc's baby. They seemed oddly relieved, leading Grace to believe that they were happy enough not to be connected to her. They had never approved of Marc's choice of a wife.