Lone Star Lonely (21 page)

Elliot hugged back, slapped Adam’s shoulders
a few times for good measure, then eased himself free and studied
his brother’s face worriedly. “Have you been drinking, Adam?”

“I wish to God I had.” Adam lowered his head,
drew a shaky breath. “It was Kirsten,” he managed to say. He
levered himself to his feet, slapped at the dirt on his jeans.
“Kirsten was driving the car that ran our parents off the road that
day, El. It was her.”

Elliot stood there a second, blinking.
“But…she couldn’t have been more than…?”

“Fourteen,” Adam filled in. “God, I can’t
believe…don’t want to believe…but it’s true. She told me herself,
just this morning.”

Elliot closed his eyes briefly. When he
opened them again, Adam could see a harsh pain in their depths. “So
that’s what that Cowan bastard has been holding over her head all
this time. The son of a bitch. Whoever shot him deserves the
freaking Nobel prize.”

Adam shook his head slowly. “Him? What about
her? She’s the one who killed our parents and lied about it.”

“Hell, yeah, she lied about it. Wouldn’t you?
Think about this, Adam—put yourself in her place. You’ve got
yourself a father with a ticker that could give out at any time,
and you’re in love with the son of the people who died in the
accident. What the hell was she supposed to do? She was a kid, for
God’s sake!”

Adam drew a breath. “She didn’t even know at
first. Cowan told her they were fine. He sprang the truth on her
like a trap on our wedding day, used it to get her to take off with
him instead.”

Elliot sighed long and low, shaking his head,
kicking pebbles. “Can you imagine what that did to her?” he asked.
He straightened, took off his hat, kneading the brim as he stared
out toward the sunrise. “Finding out on her wedding day that she’d
killed her own in-laws?” He kicked a larger rock and sent it
sailing. “Man, can you imagine how she must have felt? She had the
dress, the flowers, the diamond on her finger. She had to give it
all up. All because of that bastard. That vile, soulless bastard
who forced her into marrying him when she must have hated his guts.
Can you imagine what that must have been like? Living with that
creep because of his blackmail? My God, no wonder she’s seemed so
hard and cold these past two years. She must have had to turn off
every feeling she ever had.”

Adam had gone still, finally hearing what his
brother was saying. He was…he was sympathizing… with Kirsten! “I
can’t believe you. You feel sorry for her? She killed our parents,
Elliot.’’

“I got that part.” Elliot met his eyes, then
his brows arched. “Hell, what’s wrong with you? You think she did
it on purpose? You think it was a premeditated act of malicious
violence? It was an accident, Adam. She was fourteen years old! You
took Dad’s car out when you were that age. The same damn thing
could just as easily have happened to you!”

Adam swallowed hard. It was true. What
Kirsten had done had been an accident.

“You walked out on her for that, didn’t you,
Adam? You turned your back on a woman who doesn’t have a friend in
the world right now, because of an old mistake, a mistake she made
when she was no more than a kid.”

“It’s more than the mistake!” Adam shouted
back. “It’s the lies. Dammit, Elliot, even if you can forgive the
accident, how the hell can you forgive the lies?”

“What about those lies, Adam?” Elliot shook
his head, slammed his hat back on. “You think you wouldn’t have
done the same thing in her place? You just go ahead and leave that
girl in agony. You and your high and mighty morals and your
judgmental attitude. You’ll be damned lucky if I don’t go back
there and marry her myself.”

Adam looked up slowly, fists clenching at his
sides, a fire rising in his belly so suddenly that he could barely
contain it.

“Yeah. I can see in your eyes that you’ve
stopped loving her because of this. Plain as day. Obvious in the
way you’re looking at me like you want to rip my heart out right
now.”

“Elliot–”

“Tell me something, big brother. Would you
have lied through your teeth if you thought you could have kept our
father alive by doing it?”

The words hit him between the eyes. Hard, and
dead-on accurate. Oh, God, Adam thought. He closed his eyes,
lowered his head. What the hell had he done?

“Would you, Adam?” Elliot demanded.

Adam lifted his head, met his brother’s
eyes—wise beyond their years. “You’re right. God, you’re right. I
would,” he muttered.

Elliot crossed his arms over his chest and
nodded, a smug expression on his face. “I thought so.”

Adam looked around for his hat, spotted it, a
tiny speck in the distance, and started walking.

“Take the horse,” Elliot said. “I brought an
extra, or hadn’t you noticed?”

Frowning, Adam realized he hadn’t noticed.
He’d been too wrapped up in self-pity and condemnation of the woman
he loved to notice much of anything. Elliot had ridden Kirsten’s
borrowed mount, and he’d apparently been leading Adam’s. Adam
climbed into the saddle. “Where did you leave Kirsten?”

“I put her at Jessi’s place for now. Told her
to keep her head down and stay put till I found you and came back.
Hell, she was a mess. I doubt she could have gone anywhere even if
she’d wanted to.”

Adam turned in the saddle. “You said that…she
was crying?”

“Crying is a pretty word for what she was
doing. And it wasn’t pretty, believe me. I never saw a woman in
such sorry shape before.”

Adam lifted his chin, closed his eyes. He had
promised Kirsten that no matter what she confessed to him, he would
stand by her. He had vowed he wouldn’t run away in anger this time.
He had sworn nothing she could have done in the past would make a
difference to him. And then he had proceeded to break every pledge
he’d made.

“It must have taken one hell of a lot of
courage for her to tell you all that, big brother,” Elliot said. “A
hell of a lot of courage.”

Especially since she had so accurately
predicted his reaction, Adam thought.

Something was different now. His emotional
storm, the one he had just weathered, seemed to have cleansed him
somehow. Seemed to have made his vision a little clearer, his head
a little sharper. He knew now. It had been an accident, what had
happened to his mother and father. They hadn’t left of their own
accord. It wasn’t their fault, and it wasn’t Kirsten’s….

And it wasn’t mine.

And that was the heart of all of this, wasn’t
it? That was the thing that had been eating at his gut since he was
fourteen going on ninety-nine. That the deaths of his parents had
somehow been his fault. That he had done something wrong and
brought disaster raining down on the family. He was the smartest,
the most logical minded, the thinker. And to him, it had seemed
impossible that something so tragic could have happened without
some reason. Some cause. And since he had known deep down that his
brothers were too good, that his parents were flawless, that his
baby sister was too innocent to have done anything so awful as to
bring about this kind of divine retribution, it must have been him.
He must have done something. It had to have been his fault.

And he had been living with the guilt of that
feeling ever since.

Until now. Kirsten’s confession had taken
that burden from his shoulders…. And it had given him another
target for the blame. He had reacted violently but predictably,
lashing out at her and, in the end, abandoning her the way he’d
been abandoned by her, and because of her. And then finally, at
long last, he had been free to give vent to his grief.

But it wasn’t Kirsten’s fault, either. And
because he knew the pain of living with the idea that something so
awful was your fault, he had to get back to her. He had to tell
her, to make her believe….

Elliot spurred his horse, then leaned
sideways in the saddle. Bending so low his head nearly dragged the
ground, he scooped up Adam’s dropped Stetson in one hand, clung to
the pommel with the other and somehow managed to get himself
upright again. Then he slowed until Adam caught up to him. Elliot
reached up and dropped the hat onto Adam’s head.

“Thanks,” Adam muttered.

“You’re welcome.”

“Not just for the hat,” Adam said.

“I know.”

“You’ve been takin’ risks left and right,
El.”

“I know that, too.”

“You seem to show up just when I need
you.”

“I’m keeping my eye on you, big brother.”

Adam swallowed. “Is Wes mad about the
horses?”

“You know Wes. He’s always mad about
something. Taylor smoothed things over, though.”

“He can’t stay mad when she’s around, can
he?”

“No chance in hell. Could you?”

Adam almost smiled. “Guess not.”

“Jessi and Lash are flying home. Chelsea told
them what was going on up here, and Jessi’s bound and determined to
dive right into the middle of it.”

“Like you?”

Elliot shrugged. “She’s better at this kind
of thing than I am. If Jessi was home, she’d have Kirsten cleared
of all charges and the two of you walking down the aisle by
now.”

Adam lowered his head. “I don’t think that’s
going to happen. I broke every promise I ever made to her…twice
now.”

“So you just go on back, beg her forgiveness
and get busy keeping those promises.”

“I wish it was that simple.”

Elliot shrugged.

“Then there’s the matter of this murder
charge,” Adam went on.

“Only a heartless slug of a man like Cowan
could decide that as long as he was going to die, he might as well
take his wife out with him.”

Adam lifted a brow. “So you buy that
theory?”

“It’s the only thing that makes sense.
Especially now.”

“Now?”

Elliot glanced over at Adam. “That’s right,
you don’t know. I was so damned mad at you for hurting Kirsten that
I forgot to tell you what happened after you left.”

Adam’s heart skipped a beat. “Is she
okay?”

“She’s in shock, Adam. She made her way over
to Madden Hawkins’ place. I was on my way there, too, luckily.
Hawkins was supposed to take a copy of Cowan’s will over to the
rangers’ station in El Paso last night. But he never showed. They
called him this morning, got no answer, so they asked Garrett to
send someone out there, and I volunteered.”

“And?”

Elliot nodded. “I got there about the time
Kirsten let out her first scream. She’d arrived first and found
Hawkins hanging from a light fixture over his kitchen table. The
suicide note was pinned to his shirt.”

Adam’s throat went dry. He grimaced as he
realized how horrible it must have been for Kirsten. He should have
been there, should have been with her.

“My God,” he managed.

“Yeah. And I didn’t have time to look around
a whole lot, but I have a feeling that will is long gone. Garrett’s
over there now, searching the place for it.”

“Then…you think this is all tied up somehow
with Cowan’s murder?”

Elliot nodded. “I sure as hell do.”

Adam’s blood seemed to chill in his veins.
“And Kirsten’s all alone,” he muttered. Then he kicked the mare’s
sides, and she lunged into a powerful gallop.

They rode at a dead run the rest of the way
back to town, through the streets, across the lawn and right up to
Jessi’s little cottage. Dismounting, Adam tied his horse, then
glanced up and down the road, but he saw no prying eyes, no killers
lurking. He moved quickly to the door at the front of the
house.

And then his blood ran cold.

The door stood open. Shards of broken glass
spiked from its window. Hinges creaked in whispers as the breeze
moved the door slightly back and forth.

“Oh, no….”

He pushed the door open cautiously, peered
inside. “Kirsten?”

But there was no answer. And he no longer
needed one. Jessi’s house looked as if a wrestling match had gone
on inside.

Kirsten was gone. But it was pretty obvious
that she hadn’t gone willingly. Someone had come here while Elliot
was away, and they’d taken her. And it looked as if she had put up
one hell of a fight.

Adam closed his eyes and cursed himself for
having left her this morning. God, if anything happened to her, he
would never forgive himself.

He’d been searching Jessi’s house—seeking
some kind of clue as to who had been here and where they’d taken
Kirsten—for only a few minutes when a hand fell heavily on Adam’s
shoulder from behind. He whirled, adrenaline surging, fist coming
up automatically, ready to nail whoever dared mess with him at a
time like this and immediately thinking of the killer.

Garrett stood there, eyed the fist that had
frozen halfway to his face and shook his head slowly. “I let you
get away with that once, Adam. But I wouldn’t be pushing my luck if
I were you. I don’t have much patience for kid brothers with
violent tendencies.”

Adam lowered his hand and his head, his
breath rushing out of him all at once. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry,
Garrett. About hitting you before. I had to get Kirsten the hell
out of there. I couldn’t let her go to jail any more than you could
stand by and let someone lock Chelsea up in a cell when you knew
damned good and well she was innocent.”

“Or even if I thought she might not be,”
Garrett said. Then he eyed Adam with a frown. “You felt that
strongly about it, huh?” he asked, searching his brother’s
face.

“Yeah. I did.”

“So that’s it. I kinda figured.”

Adam shook his head. “I never should have hit
you like that—”

“Yeah, and I never should have gone down so
easy. Just figured it was for the best. I sure as hell didn’t want
to hit you back, and if I’d got up again, you’d have forced me
to.”

Adam lowered his head. “So Elliot was right.
You took the fall and let us go.”