Looking for Cassandra Jane (The Second Chances Novels) (27 page)

We all knew it was Sky’s plan to eventually increase our numbers—but only with the right people, he’d said, the ones God revealed to him. Naturally, we couldn’t adopt just
anyone
into our special circle. But before long, we took in a new couple. I can’t recall their original names, but during our “adoption” ceremony (the first of its kind) Sky blessed them with new names: Venus and Mountain.

Venus was vivacious and pretty with long, curly, auburn hair. And Mountain was a big, somewhat serious sort of guy. In a way he could’ve seemed like a threat to Sky, but for some reason he wasn’t.

In fact, Mountain really seemed to respect Sky and became one of his closest friends, if not bodyguard. And while I’m sure Sky appreciated the friendship, I don’t believe he was ever
really
close to anyone (not in the way of a healthy give-and-take mutual relationship). But I’m sure everyone, including me, thought they were close to Sky.

Venus and Mountain were older than most of us and had recently dropped out of Stanford, saying how they had decided to focus all their energy on spiritual growth instead of the wasteful accumulation of worldly knowledge. They were both from families with money, and so, to start out with, they were able to contribute generously to our little farm. And of course Sky made them feel very welcome. To do this, Sunshine and Stone were asked to move their things out to the barn and take up residence in the old makeshift bedroom in the loft. And then Venus and Mountain moved into their old bedroom.

Earlier in the fall, Sky had picked up a secondhand book on natural childbirth and this became mandatory reading for all the sisters. And although I found it slightly disturbing, I read the whole thing from cover to cover (mostly because books were extremely limited and I missed reading). And so, in a way, I became something of the local expert (a remnant of my old academic ways). But as I reread the chapters on prenatal care, I grew somewhat alarmed.

The book warned not to neglect things like regular obstetric exams, blood tests, vitamins, proper weight gain, and more. So far neither Breeze nor Moonlight had seen a doctor. And according to this book, Moonlight’s excessive weight gain in her first pregnancy placed her and her baby at great risk—especially for natural childbirth!

I mentioned my concerns to Sky, but he said that, as with everything, we just needed to trust God with this, and that God would see that the babies were born safely. And so instead of worrying, I tried to trust God more, praying that he would watch over our expectant mothers’ health. However, I did encourage Moonlight to eat less and exercise more (which she didn’t appreciate at all—especially in light of our earlier “red-handed” confrontation. I’m sure she secretly had it out for me more than ever just then). All the same, I carefully studied the chapter on nutrition and did the best I could to prepare sensible and balanced meals for our two mothers-to-be.

It was a great relief to everyone when the days grew cooler and shorter and the farm work decreased. Thanks to all my long hours in the sweltering heat of summer, our pantry was fairly well stocked against winter (although I knew we couldn’t survive on it alone).

With more free time on my hands, I could do more sewing. Sky regularly visited a Goodwill store in town where he purchased inexpensive clothing items that could either be mended or altered to suit the needs of our group. And I began making things for the two babies who would soon join our family.

Breeze got involved in helping me and showed real talent at creating some sweet little items for her soon-to-be baby. My favorite was a bright-colored patchwork quilt with all kinds of embroidery. As a result of all this sewing, Breeze and I grew closer. And while I enjoyed her companionship, at the same time I worried that Sunshine seemed to be withdrawing more and more. Not only from me but from the entire group as well.

One day in late October, I confronted Sunshine while she was helping me prepare supper. I asked her what was wrong, and why had she been so quiet lately? I actually wondered if she might be pregnant and perhaps depressed about it.

At first, she studied me closely, as if determining whether or not she could trust me. “Oh, Rainbow,” she finally said with a deep sigh. “I don’t know…”

“Are you unhappy?”

She shrugged uncomfortably. “Oh, I don’t know…”

“Is it your marriage?”

She glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone was around. “Maybe.”

“Are you and Stone getting along okay?”

She shrugged again. “I don’t know…”

I stopped stirring the biscuit batter. “Sunshine,
talk
to me. What’s wrong?”

I could see tears building in her eyes, but she pressed her fist against her mouth as if trying to keep the words inside.

“Come on, Sunshine,” I urged. “It’s me, Rainbow. You can trust me.

She looked me straight in the eyes. “I don’t want to be here anymore,” she whispered, then turned her attention back to cleaning a head of cabbage.

I took in a sharp breath. A confession of this sort was just barely short of treachery. “But, Sunshine,” I began, “we’re a family—we all love you.”

She rolled her eyes as she shook the water from the cabbage head. “Yeah, Rainbow, but some of us want to ‘love me’ a little too much.”

I studied her. “What do you mean?”

She forced a laugh. “Oh, you wouldn’t understand, Rainbow. You’re so pure and innocent—almost like an angel really.” She raised the large knife and brought it down with a loud bang, splitting the cabbage head in two.

Now I knew I could take her words as a compliment, but somehow it just didn’t feel like that to me. “What exactly do you mean, Sunshine?”

She let out an exasperated sigh, then lowered her voice. “I mean… that just because Sky is our highly exalted spiritual leader
,
it shouldn’t give him the right to sleep with anyone he likes.”

I felt my eyes open wide, and now I glanced over to the doorway, but no one appeared to be anywhere near the dining room. “What are you saying?” I hissed at her.

She put her face close to mine and with wild-looking eyes said, I’m saying that I’ve had enough of this place. I didn’t come here to be a
sex slave,
Rainbow.” And then she stabbed the knife into the old kitchen table and the point stuck right into the wood.

I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. Had she lost her mind? “Sunshine—” I tried to speak soothingly—“you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Oh, don’t I?” She turned and glared at me. “Well, just wait,
little one,
it’ll happen to you too sooner or later. Sky plans on fathering a child with every one of the sisters.”

“Sunshine!”

“Oh, I knew you wouldn’t believe me, Rainbow. You’re too good and innocent—and
naive!”

I just stared at her and shook my head, and I’m sure my horrified expression must’ve really frightened her, making her regret her terrible confession.

She grabbed my hands. “Please, Rainbow, don’t tell Sky what I said. I’m sorry, it was wrong to say those things. I’ll repent of my sin, I promise, I will. But please, please don’t tell Sky. I’m so sorry.”

I just stood there in silent shock. Sky was our spiritual father, our ruler, our leader. How could I not tell him?

“Please, Rainbow, I’m begging you. Promise me you won’t tell.”

I nodded dumbly, anything to shut her up—to put an end to her blasphemous heresy before someone overheard us and we both got called in to confession.

She went back to quietly chopping cabbage for a while, but then turned and spoke in a calm voice. “Rainbow, if I leave here, do you want to come with me?”

I firmly shook my head. “No, Sunshine, of course not. This is my home. This is my family. I’m safe here.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I figured that’s what you’d say. And that’s okay. But please, I’m begging you, don’t mention this to anyone.”

For two days I kept Sunshine’s admission to myself, waiting for her to come forward and confess her sinful thoughts, to break down before the group and fall on her knees and beg their forgiveness. But she did not.

When I woke up on the third day, I decided I’d waited long enough. It was time to speak up and inform Sky about Sunshine’s false accusations. I surely didn’t look forward to betraying her trust like this, but I knew in the long run it would be for Sunshine’s best. You just can’t hide sin like that and not expect to suffer the consequences—and according to Sky, sooner truly was better than later.

But as it turned out, I didn’t get the chance. Sunshine had left during the night.

Strange as it may seem, Stone didn’t even notice her missing until she didn’t show up for lunch. He hadn’t seen her all morning and had assumed she’d risen early, but upon checking further he suspected she’d packed up a few things the previous day and then slipped out of bed during the night.

Apparently she’d left on foot, since Sky had long since sold her little car (for just a few hundred dollars since he couldn’t provide a title). Stone was worried for her welfare and wanted to go look for her, but Sky wouldn’t let him. Instead he called us all to a meeting.

I could tell by the white line around his lips that he was upset, maybe even angry, but he kept his voice controlled, calm and even. “Unfortunately our sister Sunshine has made a very bad decision,” he informed us. “She has broken our trust and betrayed God by abandoning her spiritual family. So according to Scripture, as of this date, Sunshine is hereby separated from fellowship with us. If anyone should see her, you are not to speak to her.”

Stone raised his hand. “But what if she wants to come back?”

Sky considered this. “If she wants to come back, she must first come to me. And she must confess her sin and ask forgiveness, and then she must submit to my authority and accept whatever form of punishment seems appropriate.”

And so it was agreed. Sunshine was “separated from fellowship.” Not that it mattered much since she never came back anyway. Much later I would learn that she had simply walked to town, used a pay phone to place a collect call to her mother, and by late that afternoon was on a jet, bound for home.

That same week, and two months before she was due to deliver her baby, Breeze began feeling sickish. Her hands and feet became quite swollen and she had severe headaches. According to the natural childbirth book this could be the warning signs of preeclampsia or toxemia (“a very serious illness that endangers both the baby and mother and should be treated by a trained obstetrician”).

Concerned, I went to Sky with this medical information, interrupting what appeared to be a very intense conversation between him and Venus and Mountain.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” I said quickly, “but I think Breeze needs to see a doctor.”

Sky looked up from the open Bible lying on his lap. “What is wrong?”

I described the medical conditions, hoping to convince him that it was serious.

“Have you anointed her yet?” he asked in the kind of tone one uses with a very ignorant person.

“Uh, no—no…” I stammered.

“Well then.” He lifted his brows with a slightly amused smile.

“Maybe I can be of help,” offered Venus.

Sky sighed heavily, then waved his hand in dismissal. “Yes, Venus, why not go see what you can do for our ailing sister.”

Venus and I anointed Breeze with vegetable oil and knelt down to pray for her healing, then Venus followed me back to the kitchen, where I started to heat up a can of chicken noodle soup that I hoped might entice Breeze to eat. Her appetite had been quite poor lately.

“I don’t think you need to be too worried,” said Venus. “I’m sure God is healing our sister. And if it’s any comfort, I took some health and nutrition classes during my first year of college, and if I remember correctly her condition is really quite common.”

“Really?” I looked at her hopefully as I stirred the soup.

“Yes. She just needs to stay off her feet for a few days and eat healthy food.” She cleared her throat now—in that way a person does when they wish to say something but don’t quite know how to begin. “And speaking of healthy food, I asked Sky if I might not be able to give you some tips here in the kitchen.”

I turned and looked at her. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” She made a funny little face. “I know you’re doing the best you can in here, Rainbow. And I know you haven’t had any formal nutritional training. But it’s just that I think we could all be eating a lot better with a few changes. And as Mountain and I were just discussing with Sky, God wants us to keep our bodies in holy condition since they are his temples. We don’t want to be filling our temples up with poison—”

“Poison?” I turned down the heat on the soup. “I have never given anyone poison—”

Venus laughed. “Of course not. Not knowingly anyway. But there are things you cook with that are not healthful.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, things like white sugar and bleached, white flour instead of whole grains. And then processed food and red meat and… well… all sorts of things.” She laughed again as if I should get the joke.

I poured the soup into a bowl and then turned to Venus. “You know, I’ve been handling the kitchen for nearly a year now. If you think you can do better—”